Yes, the basic plot came from a conversation with one of my friends. Yes, I know we have problems.

Mmmkay, let's pretend TenTen is 16. It's for a reason, gosh!

Warnings: Mentions of teen pregnancy, abortions, and overall Gai stupidity.



"Umm, Gai-sensei?"


"It's TenTen."

"Right! Of course, TenTen! What is it you need?"

"Well, I'm not going to be available much next week, so I can't come to training. No missions either."

"Why not?"

"I have to go to the doctor for a checkup, and I might have surgery. Very minor, nothing big."

"Oh no! What is wrong, my precious female student?"

"It's no big deal…"

"You are much too young to be in need of any operations. Is it serious?"

"I already told you, its minor surgery."

"I know what it is! Don't do it, Jenny!"

"Jenny? My name is TenTen! And what do you mean I shouldn't?"

"A precious life is in your hands! You can't just let it die! Don't get the abortion!"

"What! You think I'm getting an abortion?"

"You don't have to lie. I can completely understand that there are certain desires occurring during your adolescence. But you have to take responsibility for your actions—"

"I'm not pregnant!"

"—even if it was just a mistake made in the heat of the moment."

"I'm only 16!"

"I know, such a young age, in the midst of your springtime of youth! Don't think of this as an accident, think of it as a chance."

"For what, dare I ask?"

"A chance to bring a new life into this world! Let us celebrate the you and your Almighty Uterus!"

"Gai-sensei, nothing remotely baby-like is growing in my 'Almighty Uterus.'"

"Who's the father?"

"There is no father! I'm not pregnant and I'm not getting an abortion!"

"Oh, come on, Jenny! You're already starting to show!"

"I'm serious…what do you mean I'm starting to show?"

"I mean, you're obviously full of baby."

"No, I'm not!"

"It's Neji, isn't it?"


"I knew it! And he's the one making you get an abortion."

"What does Neji have to do with this?"

"He's the only logical person."

"Only logical person for what?"

"For being the father! Who else would steal your virginity and then ask you to get rid of the memory, the special bond between you that no one else could destroy?"

"I'm still a virgin! There has been no 'special bonding' between myself and Neji. Or anyone else for that matter."

"No need to be modest, Jenny, I can take it."

"Gai-sensei, Neji has absolutely nothing to do with this."

"...I don't understand."

"I've been telling you for the past 10 minutes! What don't you understand?"

"Do you not know who the father is? If that's the case, my blossoming youth, I will help you find him! And if I don't I will dance the Lambada up and down the streets of Konoha continuously for—"

"GAI! FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M NOT HAVING AN ABORTION! I'm not pregnant nor plan to be pregnant for many years. I don't play in dark alleys, I'm not a prostitute, and I don't hang out at the sperm bank. I am still a virgin, meaning I'm not having sex with Neji, your precious Lee, or any boy, girl, animal, plant, extraterrestrials, aliens, food items, imaginary creatures, inanimate objects, characters from other animes, or anything that could possibly get me pregnant. Do you get it now? I'M NOT PREGNANT!"

"…I don't understand."

"You're hopeless."

"Well, if you aren't getting an abortion, why are you having surgery?"

"I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled. I've been trying to tell you that."


"I can't believe you thought I was pregnant."

"It's an honest mistake. You are getting around the age of promiscuity."


"But you have to admit, you are getting rather puffy, Jenny."

"I'm not puffy! And my name's not Jenny!"


1. Yes, she had her wisdom teeth pulled. Which was why she was 16 (they don't come in till around that time.)

2. And yes, my friend is having her wisdom teeth pulled. She told me it was an abortion…

3. As for abortions, I'm pro-choice.

4. Why Gai calls her Jenny? I have no idea.

Review anyways...