DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Haruhi Suzumiya series nor are these works done for any sort of profit. I am merely dabbling for fun. All rights belong to the original author and various corporations.


Kyon, Haruhi decided, was an idiot of the highest order.

"Idiot" didn't quite cover his foolishness, truth be told. No, for anyone who slept through a subject he was close to failing (at least by her standards, she thought), who gaped like a fish out of water at Mikuru (although that was just a fault of the gender, she guessed), who truly thought that Koizumi was just bad at games when the transfer student clearly let him win (something he didn't do for just anyone, she knew), "idiot" was a gross exaggeration. Unfortunately, no other word seemed good enough in Haruhi's eyes. "Dolt" didn't give the same guttural pleasure in speech, being too eloquent in its quiet little way. "Blockhead" reminded her of cheesy American cartoons. "Dumbass" was too vulgar, "nincompoop" too childish, moron too simple. Therefore, he was an idiot, but with a new level in order to better suit his stupidity.

She came to this decision all on her own, as she waited for the Brigade to finally join her in the clubroom. She had come here straight after school, as she always did. Kyon, as always, had taken his time collecting his books and saying goodbye to those baboons he called friends and had yet to show.

Ooh. Baboon. That was a good word. . .Nah. Haruhi didn't want to think of Kyon as an animal, though she supposed there were times he definitely deserved it. Besides, it fit that atrocious Taniguchi far better and while she had barely exchanged two words with the other one, she was very confident in the belief that birds of a feather flocked together and apes of the same fur flung crap united. Anyone who associated with such a fool had to be one himself. Hmm. Fool, she considered as she sat and turned on the computer. Now there was a word with possibilities! However, her mind started to think of court jesters in castles and she decided against it. The day Kyon tried to serve her, his leader, with such devotion would be a strange one indeed.

No, Kyon was an idiot of the highest order, if a very late, incredibly angering idiot of the highest order. And no, she did not doubt that the tardiness of the rest of her Brigade were not related. Truly, although she had so decisively classified Kyon as an idiot, this was not a case in which it took one to know one, because Haruhi was not an idiot. She could see how things worked within her little group.

It wasn't even her group really in the first place.

Sure, they made a good show of it. They did as she asked, whatever and whenever she asked. They showed her due respect, and probably even considered her as the Brigade Chief in mind as well as in public. She knew who they really respected though. It was in how Yuki turned to him first for confirmation of any command Haruhi or anyone for that matter gave. It was obvious by that doting yet loyal look Mikuru gave him when she thought no one was looking. It could be implied by how Koizumi never looked more serious or mysterious than when he took Kyon to the side for their odd little talks.

What Haruhi did not understand however was how an idiot of the highest order who didn't even care about anything, much less finding weird, exciting things and having fun, could become in charge of a club she put together for that very purpose. She could sense there were things that she did not know about going on within her Brigade, but could they really be so drastic? She didn't want to think so. Adding lying to Kyon's repertoire of negative characteristics might force her to reevaluate his title, and it personally made her feel more than a little annoyed.

As for the rest of them, she supposed that she couldn't really be sure. For Koizumi, lying and telling the truth were practically the same thing. Mikuru was terrible at it, with her expressive face that always told all, so Haruhi knew for a fact there were times when Mikuru was either lying or just more terrified than usual to see her come near. Yuki was completely unreadable to anyone but Kyon. It was just a vibe Haruhi got, although the girl admittedly didn't talk enough period to warrant a deceitful air. What did they call lying by not saying anything again? Oh, yes, she remembered now. Omission.

Idiots, all of them. They thought she didn't realize. They probably hoped she never would, for whatever reason. She could see that whatever it was they were hiding was about her at the very least. Their tell tale signs were all directed at her, after all. Perhaps that's why Kyon ruled them, both as an advanced idiot and as their adopted leader. He had no signs. For all she knew, every single thing he had ever told her was the complete, honest truth.

Then she thought of Yuki, and omission. Perhaps he was the most obvious liar of them all. Whatever. Still makes him the head idiot too.

Haruhi still felt a pang of pain at the thought of it though. She wondered why.


She looked up from the computer she hadn't even realized had finished initializing as she thought. Kyon stood in the doorway, his forehead covered with a slight sheen from sweat. He was panting, almost as if he had been out running which surprised her.

He continued, "You do realize all the classes are having a meeting today, right?"

She narrowed her eyes. Was today really the day? Let's see, if Monday was the 31st Huh. So it was. She got up, wrenching her bag from under the desk with her.

"You could have told me that before I left, Kyon!" As stern as it sounded, she was inwardly pleased. That explained all of their absences, and she could prove it was real.

This was no lie.

"And how was I supposed to know you forgot?"

She grinned. Oh, if only he hadn't said it like that, she could have withstood the desire to make him pay. "You know, you're right. From now on, I appoint you as Official SOS Brigade secretary!"

"Why not Miss Asahina instead?"

"While she would definitely be cuter, it's more difficult that way. She's a year ahead of us remember, and the whole point of a secretary is to note things down and tell the Chief, not the other way around." Besides, she's not the one who made me sit around in a room all alone without any idea of what was going on.

Kyon sighed. Victory!

"Whatever, we have to go." He held the door open, waiting her to walk through. She even almost did, but when she was in directly in front of him, she stopped, a nagging sense of curiosity within her. She just had to ask:

"Kyon. . ."


"Did you run all the way here just to get me?"

Haruhi noted a definite pause before he replied with, "Your phone was off. When you didn't come back, I figured you had come here." He did not explain why. He just continued to prop the door open, and wait for her to move pass.

For the first time in ages, Haruhi realized how close they were right now. Granted, there had been situations where they had been even closer, but it seemed so long ago since it was something she noticed, that made her uncomfortable. It had just become natural for her. Yet all of a sudden, she was very, very aware that she would hardly have to reach out an inch in order to touch his chest; that if she kicked forward a little bit, barely a shuffle, her foot would brush up against his ankle; that if she leaned in, in just the right way, and angled her head, in just the right way. . .

She tossed the thought from her head. She was just relieved right now. Not that she wouldn't have minded to replicate a certain dream she once had. . .

She passed him by and started jogging down the hall when she heard him call out to her.


She turned only to flash him another smile, and to very carefully illuminate him on her decision:


My beta, Audley.

Here is a bad haiku done

just to thank you, dear.


Until we meet again.