Disclaimer: I own a copy of both Super Smash Bros. games, but not the franchise and/or copyright.
The Master Hand was very happy.
For years he had been trying to unite the many denizens of the local universe, fondly called Nintendo. The Master Hand, you see, was one of that rare breed of people that are willing to make great personal sacrifices to ensure peace for others. And he had certainly made sacrifices for the scene he was currently looking on to occur—the first ever Peace Conference of the Noble States of Nintendo. There were representatives from all nine of the systems that made up the Nintendo universe. From the tiny planet inhabited by Pokemon(representatives from both Kanto and Johto present) to the entire Lylat System(with the crew of the famed Great Fox in attendance), all the systems seemed to be making an effort to resolve their differences. The representatives were meeting in a grassy field that was not only located on neutral territory but was conveniently infinitely large and capable of holding endless amounts of people, or perhaps of holding a giant free-for-all battle, but that last bit was beside the point. The Master Hand knew that this conference would work out all right. Why, just now the representatives were settling down and taking their seats at the conveniently large round discussion table. Link representing Hyrule, the infamous Mario Brothers from the Mushroom Kingdom, Fox McCloud from the Lylat system, a fine specimen of Pikachu and Jigglypuff from the Pokemon world, the boy wonder Ness from the system known as Mother, the bounty hunter Samus from somewhere out in space, Donkey Kong from Kong Island, the star warrior in training Kirby from Dreamland, and Captain Falcon from some other place in space.
DOWN IN THA CONFERENCE
Just as the Master Hand had perceived, all was peaceful down on the infinitely large grassy plain where the representatives of the Nintendo universe sat. It was truly a wonderful day in history… Until the incident. It started out innocently enough—just a poking contest between Mario Mario, number one plumber and squisher of evil of the Mushroom Kingdom, and Link, hero of Time and official lady's man of Hyrule and several other weird little alternate universes of Hyrule. It started out as gentle pokes back and forth to the arms, just a friendly little game of poke. It progressed in intensity until they were jabbing each other rather forcefully in the forehead. Before anyone could realize what was happening, Mario was conjuring up his trademark fireball and Link was drawing his sword. This might not have affected anyone else—after all, they were sitting in a field with an infinite amount of space. They could have simply moved away from the table and worked out their differences in their own special, painful way. Unfortunately, Link, who had never to date spoken aloud, broke his lifelong silence by loudly insulting Mrs. Mario, the mother of the honorable Mario and Luigi. This drew Luigi Mario into the fight, causing green fireballs to join with the standard red ones in flying through the air. It might have even ended there if a stray fireball hadn't scorched Pikachu's tail. Now, anyone who knows anything about Pokemon knows that you can do a lot of things to a Pikachu, but messing with their tail is not one of those things. Pikachu immediately retaliated with a lightning bolt which missed the target of Mario completely and perfectly electrocuted Ness the boy wonder instead. The next thing Pikachu knew, it was on fire and had a very irate little psychic boy stalking it with a baseball bat. Ness swung the bat, but in the wake of Pikachu's frantic dodge of the attack hit the banana Donkey Kong had been munching on instead, causing it to fly up into the air and be annihilated by a fireball. Now, anyone who knows anything about the temperament of Donkey Kong knows that he is completely stupid and isn't easily riled up, but a good way to get him to try and kill you is to steal his bananas. Donkey Kong was immediately angered by this defilement of his sacred banana, so he leapt into the fray. By this point anyone who hadn't been involved initially was battling with the others trying to regain the fragile peace they had been enjoying a few moments before. The Master Hand had even leapt in to try and restore order, that is until a furious Jigglypuff bit one of his fingers. Finally, he decided he had had enough. The Master Hand raised himself above the savagely brawling crowd and roared into the void, "QUIET!!"
Immediately all the fighting froze, and all eyes looked toward the Master Hand. Said hand immediately began speaking sternly to the assembly. "I should have known! I should have realized that you could never get along. All my work, all the work of your respective governments, is now gone to waste. You should all be ashamed of yourselves." To the entire assembly's surprise, one person raised their hand for permission to speak instead of bowing their head in shame. It was Link. "Er, Mr. Master Hand, sir, I just thought I'd point out that I feel much better now. I mean, um, I was pretty mad at Mario, there, but now I'm fine. I think we've resolved our problems in the best way possible." To the Master Hand's disbelief, Mario was nodding his head in agreement. Suddenly, all the delegates started talking at once about how therapeutic it was to beat the stuffing out of each other. They all felt like they had reached a new understanding. The Master Hand was shocked, at first. Then it dawned on him—this could be the start of a new age, an age where instead of all-out wars people could come here and work out their differences through violence. It was a brilliant idea, and he decided to implement it immediately. The former delegates watched in fascination as the infinitely large field compressed itself into an arena with stands around all sides and a platform in the middle. They watched as the platform began to change itself, first to a typical Pokemon duel platform, then to the roof of Hyrule Castle, then to a forest in Dreamland, then to the top of the Great Fox. It kept changing, showing locales from each of their worlds. The Master Hand once again made his voice heard over the now very excited throng. "Hear me, violent citizens of Nintendo! From this day forth, any conflicts between the worlds shall be resolved here, by representatives of the worlds, in an extremely violent and crowd-satisfying manner. I present to you, Super Smash Brothers Stadium!!!"
And all was beautiful in the universe—that wonderful universe of Nintendo.