DISCLAIMER: I (unfortunately) do not own digimon.
A/N: I wrote this at my friends house so it's a little strange with both her input and mine, but I hope it's entertaining. (Mrs. Ishida-to-you, if you want to read her stories which are usually romantic fluff with a humorous twist but still sweet and cute.)If I get decent reviews I'll finish it. If not, I'll still finish it but I will be sad. :( This story will have some explicit scenes with all of my ideas derived from trashy romance novels. Enjoy. :)
Tai walked into a bar. He said ow. "Aw fuckin-ay, you stupid shithead bar! What the hell are you doing in the middle of the fucking playground?! God dammit, this sucks great big monkey balls!" A four year old boy's mouth hung open, completely astounded. "Hey, you! My mommy says that them's is bad words. You're not s'posed to say those."
"Screw you, fucking little weasel! I hate the park and I hate little kids, so fuck off and leave me alone, god damn you.!!"
The kid started to cry and make a scene. Eventually his mother walked over.
"Are you disturbing my child, punk?"
"NO!! The little stinker came over and yelled at me! I didn't even do anything!"
"MOOMMMY…," the child wailed, "he said bad words at me!"
"Why you little…I ought to report you to the authorities, you juvenile delinquent!" the mother yelled furiously at Tai.
He walked on, hoping the day would get better. He headed toward the Snack Shack hoping to get a legendary Super Amazing Eat Your Heart Out Nacho. His foot sank in the earth, "What the..? Ah, FUCK!!" His foot was stuck in a giant mud puddle next to the watering fountain. He struggled to release his shoe from the muck. The kid from before came to get a drink and spitefully sprayed Tai with water from the fountain.
Tai was livid, "Oh, don't think your mummy will always be there to save your ass, weasel! I'm gonna get you!"
The child ran to his mother and begged for a Super Amazing Eat Your Heart Out Nacho. She asked him if he was going to eat it all and he nodded so they got in line.
Tai finally managed to get his foot from the resistant puddle, but had to leave his shoe behind, "Shit," he muttered. He hobbled to the line. When it was his turn, he asked for his nachos.
"Sorry man, but we're clean out. In fact the last one went to that cute little kid and his mom," he pointed to the same pair from before.
Tai grumbled, "Just my luck."
"Hey man, you want anything else?"
He quickly turned and walked away, mumbling to himself, "This just isn't my day." He spied a hill and meandered toward it, seeking solitude. He nearly reached the top, when a stray soccer ball soared overhead and knocked him to the ground. A few youngsters scampered up the hill to retrieve their ball when they noticed the now unconscious Tai.
"Oh, shit, we killed him! Quick we need to do something!" A tall but scrawny kid, obviously the leader, cried.
"We could hide the body," one offered.
"But where?" said another. They looked at one another, and then glanced at a porta-potty nearby.
"Hurry, each of you grab a foot we'll put him in there," the leader pointed at the mobile bathroom.
They struggled with the massive load that was Tai, but finally got him to fit in the cramped space.
"Push it over on the other side of the hill."
"Good idea." They did so.
Mimi skipped merrily along humming an obscure tune. She was on her way up the hill to sit under her favorite tree when she heard a thunderous sound. She looked up.
"SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS! IS THAT A PORTA-POTTY?!" She dashed out of the way, but tripped over a rock and skinned her knee. "OW!! DAMMIT!!"
By this time the porta-potty had made its way down the hill. The door flew open and a boy fell out.
"Holy shit!!" she rushed over to see. The boy was struggling to get up. She was about to help him, when she realized that he was covered from head to toe in fecal matter.
"Dude! You're wearing shit!" she exclaimed.
"You are COVERED in SHIT, dumbass! What were you doing in a porta-potty?"
"I was in a porta-potty? What the hell?"
"Um, yeah. You came flying down the hill in that porta-potty," she looked at him quizzically.
"The last thing I remember was a soccer flying overhead up on that hill," he scratched his head and hit the sore spot, "OWWW!!"
Mimi looked at him over. Despite the stench, he wasn't bad looking. He looked genuinely confused so she took pity, "Maybe you hit your head?"
"Maybe. It really hurts."
"Well, I live pretty close to here. We can walk there and maybe get you cleaned up. Ok?"
He just nodded then winced at the pressure on his wound. "My name is Mimi by the way."
A/N: Are you intrigued, now? I hope so. Don't forget to review and I will be putting up the next chapter hopefully within a week. This is my first story on this account. (My second all together because my email on my first account was deleted because I didn't use it enough and I forgot my password but the account and story is still there. Mrs.KristinaKido(iloveuJOE and The Concert of DEATH, if you wanted to read it.) so be nice :D Please. --Kristina