I don't know why no one thought of this before, so I did it and here:
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Super Smash Brothers: Jurassic Park
Ike was looking around on the web one day, when he came upon a forum about the Harry Potter books, then posted a thread asking:
'is pooping numbr 2 and pee peeing numbr 1 cuz I alwaz wntaed 2 kno kthnxbye'
The next day he checked on his thread to see no one posted, a few days later it was the same so he posted 'bump' he repeated this every other day on the thread.
Then finally, after twelve pages of the word nonstop, someone had replied to him.
DUNT READ HTIS PLZ: WAY BACK IN LAST MONTH THERE WAS A GIRL, SHE THEN WAS DEAD, NOW THAT YOU HAVE READ THIS SHE WILL APPEAR BEHIND YOU, IF YOU TURN AROUND, SHE WILL APPEAR BEHIND YOU, IF YOU TURN AROUND AGAIN, SHE WILL SAY 'HEY.' THEN SHE WILL EAT YOU AND YOU WILL BE ALL 'NO.' BECAUSE SHE ATE YOU.
"That's stupid," Ike said, turning off the computer.
"Hey," Said Samus.
Ike screamed in blind terror, violently tearing up the room for a way out, then managed to crash through a window and land on a car, causing the alarm to go off.
"Cool… Ike. Ike?" Samus asked, looking down at the swordsman, "… It was still cool…"
Meanwhile Pit, Yoshi, and Bowser were sitting in a car.
"Stupid alarm… So has anyone noticed how big Pit's head is?" Pit asked,
"I'm right here!" Pit responded angrily.
"He has split personalities." Bowser whispered to a confused and slightly scared Yoshi.
"Shut up person who has wings! Oh yeah I got this big theme park built on this tropical island a few months ago and sort of forgot about it. So anyway…" Pit casually threw around.
"What kind of theme park?" Yoshi asked.
"What? Oh, it's called 'Jurassic Park' so I guess that explains itself." Pit replied,
Ike rolled onto the windshield, moaning. They just tried talking over him as they carried on their conversation.
"Does it have roller coasters, because the last time I was on one I threw up nine times and had diarrhea. Well, that's what they told be because I passed out a few seconds after it started up, and all this was just on the climb… Though the rest of it was Ok." Bowser said.
They stared at him.
"Fine! DON'T LISTEN TO ME." Ike yelled, getting off the car.
Pit came into the mansion, "Who wants to go to my theme park?"
"NOT ME!" Everyone cheered.
"Hurray- what?.. You, didn't mindlessly sign on?" Pit asked,
"NO BUT WE'LL GO OUT OF PITY. GEDDIT, PITY." Everyone responded.
Pit called a helicopter and they left.
"THAT WAS QUICK." They said,
"Talk separately!" Pit demanded angrily.
"NO YOU TALK SEPARATELY." They joked,
"Ok," Pit's personality 1# said.
"Ok," Pit's personality 2# said.
"Ok," Pit's personality 3# said.
"Ok," Pit's personality 8# said.
"Stare differently!" Pits 4#, 5#, 6#, and 7# said.
"No one is supposed to know about you ninety- four just four!" screamed Pit 1# in whiney annoyance.
Finally, they landed on a tropical island.
Pit led the Smashers to a blimp a few feet away.
The blimp flew to a high-tech facility.
Everything was bare metal with yellow and black stripes lining the top of the walls, there was chemical junk lying around, all liquids were either florescent green, purple, or orange.
"Hurry up and tell us what the whole point of this place is!" Marth demanded, agitated.
"Fine, I have brought back dead creatures through cloning, by removing blood from mosquitoes stuck in amber!" Pit boasted marvelously.
"I want to see them!" whined Kirby,
A column with heat lamps was in the middle of the room; some giant eggs were in it.
Peach went over and cracked one open to find a baby emu, a bird related to the ostrich.
"See? I cloned animals that were about ten years old and brought them back here!" Pit laughed in a feminine yet mad way.
Everyone was slightly disappointed and went outside.
"You all go on that tour bus, so you can like… tour… yes." Pit said, pointing to an articulated, double-decker bus, colored metallic gray.
It was a really long bus with a green accordion like hinge passage in the middle.
"'K," they said and climbed aboard.
An oversized metal box was strapped over the steering wheel; it was an auto pilot device-something.
It started up and the bus moved along the road surrounded by giant chain link fences.
"Our first attraction on this tour is the amazing common mouse," Said the narrator as the Smashers stared out, bored.
The day started turning to night.
The angel entered the control room, full of monitors and giant computers.
"… Now what should I do?" Pit asked.
"I don't know, do you want to look at the monitors?" a guy sitting in front of one.
"Pretty colors…" Pit drooled.
"And look at what it's showing." He added,
"Oh… what's that in the pigeon paddock?" Pit asked.
"Looks like a dinosaur." The guy said dryly.
"Cool! Coincidentally, we built this park on an island where dinosaurs have survived time!" Pit said.
"Wait, that was just an iguana… oh but there's a dinosaur in that corner." The guy said, pointing to the far end of the room. A woman also working looked in his direction.
"Cool!" Pit said, talking over the roars.
Everyone stared though the windows at the pit; a goat was lowered into it as unseen emu tore it apart from behind ferns.
"Emu are six foot high, flightless birds. They can run at a speed of thirty miles per hour, these fierce predators are highly dangerous and intelligent." Spoke the prerecorded voice.
On the other side of the road was a timid looking chihuahua; a live bull was lowered into its pen for feeding time.
"I'm going to get something at the vending machine," said a man in charge of the electric fences and pretty much the power of the entire island, "meanwhile I'll give all responsibility to this ELF, Earth First, Green Peace obsessed person who hates zoos, and has a slight phobia with electricity and fences, and is an animal and dinosaur enthusiast, who loves the dark, votes for the Green party, has a fetish with the words 'turn power off' and will get every chance he has to see it. Oh and he likes white chocolate." With this he left.
The Green Peace guy was doing his job until Pit pushed 'Turn power off' on the computer screen, "That's better, now my incense candles are more noticeable, besides their 'lavender hilly valley' scent! What? Oh the power."
The bus hadn't been moving for ten minutes now as they watched the tiny dog stay as far away from the sitting bull as possible.
Then there was a loud thump, then another, as thunder rumbled over the far off crashing seas.
I don't know why I'm trying to put mood into this when it's humor...