Hey minna! Lisa here, bringing a long ficcy for you! Now, this is a very special fic because it's the one celebrating Mamoru's B-Day, which is two days after mine. ^_^ I hope everyone will enjoy, and don't forget to review/e-mail! Oh, by the way, now you can e-mail me at LisaZUMstories@aol.com or my new e-mail address, Lisafics@sailormoon.com, whichever you choose would be fine with me! On with the fic! I almost forgot. This fic is in Mamoru's p.o.v. Enjoy!
Disclaimers: Sailor Moon and the others don't belong to me, but this story does.
I will now share with you my entire life story, starting from my childhood, and ending at a couple days before my eighteenth birthday. Why I am doing this, I don't know why. My life and feelings had always been hidden away so carefully. Perhaps you could say that a certain person helped me change that. And also perhaps I want everyone to know how you can replace bitter memories with beautiful ones, especially with the one you love. So now, read on, and enter the life of me, Mamoru Chiba...
For as long as I can remember, anything that had the word celebrate in it made me cringe inside, a feeling I deeply despised. Just a simple word like that would turn me and my world completely upside-down. Why, you ask? The answer is simple; I didn't have anyone close to celebrate with. You see, my parents died in a tragic car accident when I was six, both of them, leaving me alone in the world, forgotten and deserted, and with no relatives whatsoever to turn to in my times of need. And to add on top of that, I lost all of my memories, both of my parents and of my childhood, amnesia, they call it.
Life was harsh then on, just simply cruel actually. I was sent to an orphanage since I had no relatives to take me in. I lived on still, and not one day passed when I would not think of what it would be like if I had died with my parents. It would be nicer, I rationalized laying on my hard bed. At least...nicer than this life I was living presently. I had no real friends, no family, hardly anyone to talk with. So now, I ask you, what is there to celebrate about? My life has no meaning...at least that is what I thought at the time.
Now holidays, though I had no family to truly celebrate with, at least there were the people at the orphanage to talk with and exchange little handmade presents with. There was one day in particular that I always dreaded. It wasn't a holiday but special in its own way...my birthday. Yes, I know, birthdays are cherished by all, but at the orphanage, with so many orphaned children inhabiting it, how could the adults remember your birthday? What made me stand out amongst all the other children? The answer, nothing. So on the day of my birthday, August 3, I would be all alone, and not one person would say 'happy birthday' to me. I guess I should partially be blamed for that one, since I never tell anyone when my birthday is.
On that day, I would just sulk in bed practically all day long, and try as hard as I can to remember anything about my life before the accident, particularly memories of my birthday. Yet I couldn't; my brain was clear of any memories, as if something had them washed away from my brain.
Year after year of my life rolled on like that, I living in it all, though never really clear where my life was headed, or whom I should meet while on my journey. I sometimes felt lost, with no one to guide me down the path of my destiny. I guess we all feel that way sometime in our lifetime; that awful feeling of being helpless. Minutes rolled by, followed by hours, which turned to days, then weeks...and as last years. Nothing changed, nothing exciting ever happened. I would always pray for a little change in my life, and for a good future, perhaps someone to show me the true meaning of love. I would say my prayer every night before bed, and only the moon and stars would hear it...
It was on my seventeenth birthday that I received a surprise, one that helped me to start my own life. It was in the morning, and outside the blue sky was cheery and the puffy clouds made it look more beautiful. Almost too beautiful to be real if you ask me. Anyway, so there I was, laying on the small bed, thinking about what my life would be outside the orphanage doors. I was about the age to leave it, yes, any day now. It would be harsh, and I knew I would have to earn a living, perhaps rent a place of my own. My heart raced as the thought and I smiled, something I solemnly do. I silently promised to myself that once in the real world, I would never give my heart to anyone, simply because I wished for it not to be broken again, like when my parents died. I did want love, but returning it was a different story. I had blocked everyone out of my life for so long, who could possibly change that? Who could possess the ability to change my heart? And did I know how to show someone I care? Probably not. Little did I know that was going to change...
I heard the quiet sound of what seemed like a light knocking sound, and then door opening and quickly got up, rushing to throw my clothes on in a hurry. My hair was a mess, I realized, but had no time to worry about it then. My 'roommate' stumbled out of his bed also, and threw on the first thing in sight.
As the lady wearing a blue dress and high heels stepped in, carrying with her a folder. "Oh, did I disturb you?" she asked immediately and blushed when she realized that my 'roommate' and I were a total mess. "I could come later," she offered, yet I shook my head.
"No, now is fine," I replied and she smiled at me, her hazel eyes shining. I forced a tiny smile on my face, knowing it was impolite not to return her gesture of politeness. I knew that she was new here, since I had not seen her before. 'Probably just started a few days ago,' I thought to myself silently. "Whatever you need to say, say it now."
"Uh, maybe I should leave," my 'roommate' offered and without waiting for an answer, went out the door. He was never the sort of person who likes to intrude on other's personal business.
The lady had short brown hair with a tint of blonde in it, and hazel eyes that glittered when she smiled. She seemed friendly and not as dense as the others.
"All right. Well then, why don't we get started." she said suddenly, breaking my thoughts and I nodded, hoping she did notice that I had been sneaking glances at her.
"Sure," I answered simply and watched as she took a paper out of the folder she was hugging to her chest. "Would you like to sit down?"
"No, that's all right."
I stood up and walked to her, stopping a couple feet in front of her. "Is something wrong?" She smiled again, that bright smile of hers I was beginning to like, and shook her head to say no.
"Of course not. In fact, I have good news, Mamoru." her voice rang out in the room. I was a bit shocked to se that she knew my name, then she was one of the administrators here, so of course she should know at least my name. "You're at the proper age to leave the orphanage, and start a new life of your own." she continued, and I felt my breath get caught up in my throat.
"Seriously?" I inquired her just to make sure my ears weren't deceiving me; that could happen, you know.
"Hai," she answered. "I understand that you take classes with the other students here, am I correct?"
"Ever since the first day I was brought here," was my answer. She nodded her understanding and we began discussing the matters of a home and job, and where I would go to school at.
"It's quite impressive, your records are," she commented.
"Arigato Miss." I never really had the chance to ask her name, and in my mind, I knew that wasn't really necessary.
"You will be working part-time at this company." She showed me a picture of it. It was quite big, I realized. And tall, for that matter. Its gray walls seemed welcoming in a way. A huge sign, Tokyo Inc., was engraved on the walls.
"Oh, as an assistant."
"That sounds nice," I replied.
Then we discussed where I would live. It was an apartment complex on the third floor, nice and big, a place of my own. After that, she was gone, leaving me alone in the room. My 'roommate' had already been gone an hour to have breakfast. I called him my roommate since the orphanage couldn't afford for each one of us to have our own room, so we had to share a room with some else. Not that I minded, it was nice to have someone talk to when you're bored. He was quite a nice companion at times. So that was how I received my first job.
Wow, I thought, still not quite absorbing it all. Who would have thought that I would get such a surprise on my birthday! So I got to packing, wanting to leave here as soon as possible. It was not that I wasn't grateful to the orphanage and the people here, but I knew that a new life was waiting for me, outside of this place. That sent excitement through my entire body and I packed my few belongings in a small suitcase. A picture of my parents and I rested on the small desk and I picked it up, looking at the little boy standing in the middle of his parents with a huge smile plastered on his boyish features. That little boy was me, as hard as it was to believe. It almost seemed too unbelievable to be true, though it was, at least that's what everyone else says. Now that I thought about it, the little boy of six did resemble me in more ways than one...
Nevertheless, I was off, after bidding farewell to everyone I knew, and grabbing a bite to eat. The toast and eggs were already cold, yet I ate them anyway, keeping in mind I probably wouldn't be eating much that day. After breakfast it came time for me to see my new place. The orphanage had gone through the trouble of paying for the first two months of rent, just to get me started and everything. I would start working next week, and I was sure anxious about it all. Just think about it, a big office building around twenty stories high!
I was off, out into the cheery world. My brain reminded me it was my birthday, and I was happy, since all of this seemed like it was a birthday present from the orphanage. The city of Tokyo looked so big as I walked down the sidewalk carrying with me the small leather suitcase, and the belongings that were in it. Tokyo was quite busy! Cars were on the streets, accompanied by huge busses, and people all over. I let out a breath of air and sighed. Ever since I was sent to live at the orphanage, I, and all of the other kids that lived there, never really had the opportunity to come out on the streets, and actually see everything that was going on in the city. No, we would just go outside for fresh air, and sit down on the wooden benches and have some lemonade. I have always been curious of what the city outside the walls of the orphanage was like, and now here I was.
I took notice of the people of Tokyo. Most of them seemed like they were late for something, or being rushed in some way. Then, suddenly, something caught my eye. At first, I didn't know what it was, because of all the people crowding the streets. Then, close up, I saw that it was a girl, with the strangest hairstyle of all time! I mean, they looked like...odangos! Strange, but that was what it looked like. She was a few years younger than I, I could tell. Her hair was blonde and with the sunlight in it, looked like molten gold. It was very long, going down to her ankles. Her eyes were a bright blue, like glittering sapphires. She was quite beautiful.
We were going opposite directions, so eventually we passed each other, the girl just walking away like I didn't exist. I didn't blame her. There were like a lot of people on the streets, so it was natural that she would just pass by. However, I looked back at her. I saw that her hair was really made into odangos, and two long pigtails dangled from it. A weird hairstyle, though she would definitely get the medal for originality...for hairstyles that is. I smiled and watched as her form disappeared amongst the crowd and I too walked off. It was only one brief encounter, and I thought that we would probably never meet again. Boy, was I surprised that I was wrong!
My apartment was nice, and well furnished. I was awed at the fact it included furniture even! Must have cost the orphanage a fortune, I thought. Hopefully I'll be able to pay for it with my new job...
So a month passed, and another followed. My new job was wonderful, and so was my home. And I had gotten a car! Well, it wasn't exactly mine yet, but after a year and six months it would be...the best part of it was that I would only pay a couple hundred dollars a month, for one and a half years. I had forgotten about the girl with the unusual hairstyle, any trace of her existence washed away from the depths of my memory. I was too busy to think about her and she just disappeared, like that encounter I had with her a couple months ago didn't happen at all. I discovered a place where they served great coffee. It was at a local arcade. I quickly made friends with a guy working there, and his name was Motoki. He was quite friendly the first time I stepped through the glass doors into the arcade.
Motoki, at the time, was serving one of his customers and I sat down on one of the empty stools. He eyed me and winked, his green eyes filled with happiness. He seemed to enjoy his job very much, and that made me feel good. 'What a cheerful guy,' I thought.
"Hi, what can I get you?" he asked and I ordered a cup of coffee. "Coming right up," he said and disappeared into the back counter. A moment later he came with a cup of steaming coffee in his hands and handed it to me, smiling all the while.
"You're new here, right?"
I looked at him and nodded. "I guess you can call it that, if you mean to this arcade, yes."
He nodded back, and asked my name.
"Mamoru," I replied, and he said his name was Motoki.
"Do you live around here?" he asked me and I told him I lived in an apartment complex. He said he did too, and we wound up talking the rest of the afternoon, about our childhood and so on. I was careful not to reveal everything about myself, and he could tell I wasn't telling him everything about me, though I could see by the look in his eyes that he understood and gave me my space. Somehow, I felt secure to tell him, when the time came. He seemed trustworthy. After all, a friend wouldn't be that bad.
So by the time I left, it was sundown. I came back the next day, and the day after, and soon I found myself coming there every morning as a daily routine. So another few months passed, and I was seventeen and a half by then. Now, little did I know that whom I should bump into but the girl I passed by...six months ago.
I was walking down the sidewalk one afternoon in the spring, with the sun shining and cars honking their horns, it seemed like just another normal day in the bustling city of Tokyo. And then I heard a voice coming from the opposite direction. The voice was muffled, though I heard it. It sounded like the person was complaining about her bad grade for something, and how horrible it would be to show it to her parents. I thought it funny of such a statement and looked up at the person. I nearly gasped, but stopped myself before the sound came out. It was...her again!
Yes, it was indeed her, I could tell, by her distinctive hairstyle. Very unique, and very funny to look at. She hadn't changed a bit, although her hair seemed to be a bit longer as it swayed down by her ankles. Not that I expected anyone to change much in six months... Anyway, so we were going the opposite directions like we had done half a year ago, and I thought silently that we would just pass by like we did before. However, I was wrong!
Just as we passed by each other, I noticed a piece of paper in her hands and shook my head. A nickname suddenly hit me like a bolt of lightening, and I grinned at it. 'Odango Atama,' wouldn't that fit her perfectly! So while I was enjoying myself at my inventive secret nickname for the girl whose name I didn't even know, I didn't see her crumbling up the paper into a small paper wad and throwing it over her head like it meant nothing to her. I'm sure it didn't anyway.
I felt a thing hit my head and stopped in my tracks. It didn't hurt or anything, whereas the shock and surprise of it got me completely. I turned around to see the girl walking off and called to her. She turned around and faced me, her bright blue eyes focusing on my face.
"Nani?" she said, confused.
I didn't have time to ponder what I was going to say to her so I said the first thing that came to mind.
"I'm not a trash can, Odango Atama." I, myself, was even surprised by how cold and harsh I sounded, and then, on top of it all, the secret nickname had slipped out. Oh, how I wanted to hit myself there and then. I waited for her reaction and it came. First, she seemed utterly shocked, then, an angry expression replaced it.
"How dare you call me that!" she shouted angrily at me, face flushing red from being so angry.
"You...oh never mind!" In an instant, she had grabbed the crumbled test paper from my hands and stormed off, her long pigtails dangling as she walked.
Yes, I know. It wasn't exactly what I had in mind..okay, so it wasn't at all what I had in mind... We had become enemies that day, and from that day on, it was war. We fought like crazy. I had a thought that we would never get along...ever. That changed, however.
So for a month we fought, I still not knowing what her name was, and she not knowing what my name was. Finally, I decided to ask Motoki; perhaps he knew. That was probably the best thing to do. So I did, one afternoon. He handed me my coffee as usual, and went off to polishing the counter until it shone like diamonds. It was so clean you could see your own reflection in it. "So Motoki, I have a question for you."
"It's about this girl," I began to say, then stopped when I saw giving me 'the look.' "No, it's not what you're thinking," I said before he could tell me his thoughts and he closed his mouth, waiting to hear more. "I've been bumping into her several times now, although I don't know what her name is."
Motoki rubbed his chin. "Okay, describe her," he answered.
"Um...she has blonde hair, and the most unusual hairstyle; odangos." I needn't continue as Motoki suddenly chuckled.
"Ah, so you've met Usagi, have you?"
"Usagi?" I pondered the name for a while. I smiled. "A cute name...rabbit..."
"Hai, it is."
An hour later, I left the arcade, heading home. Now that I had her name, I felt a little weird since she didn't know mine. Usagi didn't even bother asking. Then, on the other hand, she never really had the chance to ask, since all we do is fight when we meet. I silently promised to try and change that. Usagi seemed like a nice girl, if only I would get on her nice side. Perhaps we could get along, I thought. I would like that idea. 'If I would stop calling her 'Odango Atama' every time I see her, perhaps she'll talk,' I silently said to myself. It sounded like the right thing to do and I made up my mind to do just that the next time I saw her. I didn't know why, but I would always get these feelings when I'm around her, even thought I we do is fight. What are these feelings, I wonder...
Now, the next part will be about me beginning to discover my destiny, though not realizing it, and how it changed my life as I knew it.
I didn't know that the next time I would see her would be that very night, of course, not the way I expected to. Far, far from it. Actually, I didn't even know it was her!. That night as I laid in my bed, I began to have a terrible headache. The excruciating pain wouldn't stop, and I felt dizzy. In a blur, I felt my clothes changing. The headache began to disappear, and when I opened my eyes again...I was wearing a tuxedo, and cape...and a kamen! Shocked was not the word that would describe how I felt then and there.
I didn't have time to ponder what happened though, and my instinct overtook me at that instant. My legs ran, and I went faster and faster into the darkness of the night. A strong, cold breeze blew at my cape and it fluttered behind me. I felt strange, why I was running with all might. Something inside of me made me do it, and I couldn't stop it, not even if I wanted to. I had never run that fast before, not ever.
As I passed by a jewelry store, I suddenly stopped. I expected to be totally worn out only I wasn't! Gazing at the building in utter amazement, I thought I heard a scream from inside. "Nani?" I asked out loud and shrugged. The door was locked from the inside and there was no way in. So I stood there, standing in front of the building, trying to find an entrance. An open window caught my eye. It wasn't a small window; quite the contrary, it was rather large, enough for me to get through. Then the matter of my jumping up there came to my brain. I sighed, thinking that I would not be able to help whoever was in trouble. The screams were louder and more desperate, and I knew I just had to get in there somehow.
I closed my eyes and jumped, expecting to land on the ground again. I didn't though; I was on a small ledge by the window, where flowerpots and stuff could be put. So as I planned to make my grand entrance, wondered what I would say, and what I would do to help the person in danger. 'Maybe there's something in here...' I began to go through my clothes and found a rose! It was beautiful and its petals soft. The tip, however, was sharp and as my fingers brushed the pointed end, it cut into my skin like a knife would. A few drops of blood dripped from the small wound. 'Wow,' I thought, 'Now this is what I call sharp!'
I decided that the rose would be my weapon and jumped inside the dark building. A stream of light poured into the building from the moon, and I was thankful for it. In the pale moonlight I could make out two figures. My eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness and I gasped at what I saw. One was a young girl in a suit of some kind, and the other was a monster! The girl screamed again and I realized that it was she who was in danger. I threw my rose at the adversary and it hit its intended target, thank goodness.
The girl looked up at me with grateful eyes. "Help!" she shouted out, and I could tell she was very scared. Her entire body was trembling as she sat huddled at the corner.
I thought maybe a few words of encouragement would do her a world of good. "You can defeat her!" I shouted back, but she only shook her head.
"Iie, I can't!" She began to sob.
Then I heard a voice. "Sailor Moon, use your tiara!"
It was strange, and at first I couldn't tell who had said that. Just then, I saw a black cat. A crescent moon symbol was on her forehead. Wait a minute...a talking cat? From the cat I found out that the girl's name was Sailor Moon. It made sense, I guess. Sailor Moon threw her tiara at the monster just as the cat had instructed, shouting a few words the cat had told her to say. In an instant the monster had turned into a pile of dust, and a breeze blew it away. It was as if nothing had ever happened. "You did it Sailor Moon," I called out to her. "Be brave and face your fears and you will conquer them." I didn't know where that came from.
I took my exit after saying those words and went straight home. I once again felt the clothes melting off of me the moment I stepped into my apartment room. Shaking my head, I dismissed the events that occurred as only an illusion of some kind. That was the only possible explanation...wasn't it?
But it wasn't. Just about every night after that, I kept getting headaches and transforming and everything. More had joined Sailor Moon; two of them, also sailor senshi. Sailor Mercury and Mars were their names. I could tell Sailor Moon was the leader though, since she was the one who always defeated the enemy with her tiara. This new life I had seemed to be my destiny, and I was walking down it...slowly.
Sailor Moon was afraid of her destiny from day one, I could tell, only now she seems to be braver. I would always be there to help her fight, throwing down one of my steel-tipped roses to help distract the enemy, and Sailor Moon would turn it into 'moon dust' as she called it. I know she wants to find out who I really am behind the mask, and I want to know her identity as well. Still, I can see the others don't trust me despite all the help I've given them. Sailor Moon trusted me though; I can see it in her eyes.
Sometimes I wonder though...where my destiny lays, and what the heavens above has planned for me. Will I ever find love? I kept having these thoughts nowadays and it frightened me. Why was I so worried now? Who knew that evil would appear in such a peaceful planet as Earth, and would spread their darkness over the world?
Every time I think of my destiny and my mission here on Earth, I wonder why. Why was I chosen? I guess it was all planned out, so I was not to judge it, but instead face it as it was meant to be.
Day after day passed and we fought side by side, the sailor senshi and I, defeating any and every enemy that crossed our path and tried to destroy and conquer the Earth. Somewhere in it all, I found my real past, and my destiny. It was strange at first. I had always thought Usagi and Sailor Moon resembled one another in more ways than one, but I never would've guessed that they were one! We found our destiny together. Oddly enough, I discovered that I was a prince, and Usagi my princess! We were past lovers, our love forbidden though against the odds, we overcame everything with it. Now, we were reborn on Earth to have a second chance. That was hard to believe though the memories came flooding into both of us and it was hard to deny that none of this was true. Usagi was princess of the Moon Kingdom, Princess Serenity as she was called back then. I was Prince Endymion of the Earth Kingdom. We were in love, and we still are, even though one thousand years had passed.
Usagi was quite attractive, I had noticed that from the first time I saw her, only I never really had a chance to tell her. I know I had some feelings for her long before I found out about our past. Feelings that were strange and alien to me, since I had never felt this way toward anyone before. Oh, how many times my heart would urge me to tell her that we should stop this, and get to know each other, and be close, only the words that came out gave her the impression that I despised her so. I hated it that I made her feel that way; it just couldn't be helped. Every time I tried to be nice to her, it just upset her more. So I just ignored the feelings since we fought like crazy; like nothing was happening only it was. Now it was different. There was nothing to fight about now that we confided each other.
We had our ups and downs through the next few months. However, we tried to overcome them together, and I think we succeeded through it all...
So there was my entire life story, from the day I lost my parents, to the day I found out about my past with Usagi. Everything, all written down on paper for all to see. It's strange, how one could just read my whole life story like this, but I guess that's a good thing...maybe. Throughout it all, I found out I never really had celebrated my birthday...that I remembered anyway.
That was when I got the sinking feeling that I might never will, and when Usagi, or Usako as I like to call her now, found out about that, she jumped up and down, and said that she would change it, and told me to just wait and see. She said that she would help me make new memories to replace the bitter ones I had at the orphanage. I wondered what she has planned for me... Today was August 1, (AN: My B-Day!!!!) two days away from my birthday...my eighteenth birthday.
Okay, here's the first part! Now, this story is a one-parter, but since AOL won't let me put it into one long file, I had to split it up into two separate chapters. The second chapter will be up soon, so don't miss it! Warning: second chapter will be complete mushiness! ^_^ You've been warned!
This story written July-August 2001, posted August 2001.