Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight series. That right belongs to Stephenie Meyers.
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Leah Clearwater's point of view
Nobody can help who they fall in love with.
Some say that love is just a figment of the imagination. Some say that love is the best feeling in the world. Some say that when two people are meant for one another that even God can't tear those two people apart.
Those some people who preach about love must be messed up in the head. They probably never experienced the heartbreak that came with love. They don't know that love isn't all sunshine and kittens as everyone says. I should know; I lost the person I loved to another girl. My cousin.
Who would've though that God could be so cruel?
Love. Such a pitiful emotion. It is a mere illusion of the childlike subconscious within. A tool for torture. Some may call me bitter-I have the right to be. Of course I am bitter; I lost my Sam to Emily. My own blood decided to fall for my former love. I gave my heart and soul to him and yet it still wasn't good enough. He turned the other cheek.
Sad? I know. This is my story after all.
Yeah, I know that couldn't resist. Now I did. After so much time left in the dark, I found out about the temptation that freaky-wolf people were born with. I was one of those freaky-wolf people. A girl. Who would've thought? I had my perks. If I didn't want to hear anyone, or if I didn't want anyone to hear my thoughts, I could easily block the person. Even the Alpha. Hah.
But yeah. That stupid instinct. I hated myself every single day since he left me. I thought it was something I had done. I thought I wasn't pretty enough for him; that I wasn't good enough for him. No. It wasn't any of those things. All the boys at school adored me. Not the pack though. Sam probably made sure that none of them care for me. Pity, for I would have enjoyed seeing Sam squirm.
Sometimes being a freaky-wolf person sucked, especially the whole imprinting thing. Why couldn't I be the one for Sam? Why was I being punished? The thought of Sam and Emily together disgusted me. I hated him more and more every single day, but I hated myself even more. I hated myself because even though Sam broke my heart, I still couldn't help but feel something for him.
Tremors ran down my spine as my thoughts trailed off to my ordeal. Ugh. Breathe. The anger within soon subsided. I didn't want to disturb the poor, broken person next to me. That wouldn't be fair. I sighed and rested my head against my paws, thinking more and more about my past.
I missed my mother and Seth. My promise I made to my dad was broken when I left my family. I vowed that I would watch over my brother and mother, but I couldn't help the battle within myself. The instincts kept eating me up ever since I first changed. I lived my life for me and no one else. Except him. He was the only exception.
My thoughts drifted towards Emily. As much as I hated the fact that Sam imprinted Emily, I couldn't feel any contempt towards my dear cousin. I adored Emily. She was like my sister and nothing, not even that bastard, could come between us. Bittersweet in a way. At first, however, I hated everything about her. As shameful as it was, I found the scars on her now marred face to be just. Again, I am still bitter-sue me.
Even though she committed the ultimate betrayal, I still confided in Emily, but only when he wasn't around. I knew my secrets were safe with Emily. She deserved me that much. She wouldn't tell Sam about him. My own personal love some might call him. Not even the word love could come in comparison. The situation was so sick and yet endearing. I was really screwed up inside.
Life wasn't so good for me after the whole battle with the bloodsuckers. The fact that he got hurt because of me just made things words. Weeks after everything happened; I tried to coax him to let the girl go. She wasn't worth all the fuss. The girl was a constant thought in my dreams. Bella. What an idiot leech-lover. When I made a remark about her probable death, he retorted angrily about my torn heart about Sam and Emily.
So I ran. I ran far away. Away from the tribe. Away from my family. Sam even had the nerve to try and soothe me, but I wouldn't listen to him. I eventually blocked him and stayed on my own for a few days. I found no comfort anywhere. Peace. Alone. Clarity. My only companions.
I didn't return until a few days later. That's when Seth told me that he had left. He was gone. That stupid, emotional boy ran off to be alone. I remembered the way my heart tugged at the thought of his absence and took off once more. I phased and sniffed out his trail. It took a while but I eventually found him. He was a mess. A wave of anguish washed over my body as I felt the internal suffering within him.
Who would've though that the fates could be so sadistic?
Inevitable. That's what people call it. Love that is. No one can help who they fall in love with no matter how much they loathe the idea of loving another. Loving someone without any control over the matter. Overtime the stress of inescapability and bitterness really screws with your mind.
That's how I ended up here laying next to him. His russet colored fur was matted, coated with grime and God knows what else. He didn't seem all there. Desolate. Hollow. He just sat there, watching each drop of rain fall solemnly to the floor. A spasm of pain shot throughout my body as I nuzzled his neck gently.
Jacob let out a sharp bark of sheer loathing and I bit his ear in return. This was my life.
'Leave me be, Leah,' he snarled in his thoughts.
'You know as well as I do that I can't twerp,' I retorted angrily. 'Imprinting isn't something you can return and deny.'
He stared at me blankly. Ever since I found him, he hadn't moved from the spot. His body seemed small and I could tell that he hadn't eaten so I forced myself to hunt for the kid. I wouldn't let him die. A mournful whine emitted from his throat. 'Why?' he asked helplessly.
'I don't know,' I responded. And I didn't. I would never know why God chose this life for me. 'We are a pretty screwed up pair. Two broken hearts. It only seems fitting that two shattered souls find one another. Just accept it kid.'
'Accept what? Accept this…you?' His tone dripped with anger. 'I will never forget about Bella. As long as I live, I will never forget about her. I will never love anyone as much as I love Bella.'
Another emotion that became my companion was jealousy. 'Don't worry. This imprinting thing can't make you stop loving another even though you are forced to feel for another. No matter how much I hate Sam, I will always love him.'
'You are right. We are screwed up.'
I sighed and rested my head on top of his. 'You can't fight the inevitability of destiny Jacob.'
No. No one can. Love isn't the greatest feeling in the world. Love isn't full of happy endings and incandescent joy. Love isn't the one thing that could conquer all. Love was merely there.
It was inevitable, just like my fate with Jacob.
Authoress Note: Here is the gist of the story. Basically Leah found out she imprinted Jacob ever since she first changed into a wolf. Since she is a girl, she can keep her thoughts private if she wishes to since girls are given certain privacies. She kept the secret hidden long ago and I don't care if the whole situation seems inaccurate. This idea has been bugging me so I decided to write it. Hope you enjoy and thank you!