Promise Not to Tell summary: Bee had been harboring a secret for as long as he's existed and Bee stresses HE. The problem is that with the Allspark gone his race is as good as extinct … save for a little secret of Bee's that he's willing to do almost anything to keep. Sadly, Sam isn't as good at keeping secrets as he is finding them.

Disclaimer: Hasbro curse you for your ingenious idea! I want the autobots to be mine so I could spoil them and give them stupid pet names, but alas they are not. (Sobs uncontrollably in a corner) … Also don't own any of the radio talk 'Bee uses throughout the story.

Rated: Teen.

Image: 'Sister Mother' by GreenAppleFreak

Chapter 1: Little Secrets


Bee was scared of his fellow soldiers, his companions, and his brothers in arms. He wasn't scared of them in a general sense, but what would happen if they ever found out about his little secret … a secret he had bore in silence since the day his creator grabbed him by his wrist and dragged him into her workshop. Yes, Bee's creator and first caretaker had been a femme bot and a very strong one at that, known for her mechanical brilliance. Well, that's what Bumblebee remembered her for … every one else remembered her because she was one of the last femme bots in existence. Megatron had made sure of that.

And why were femme bots so dangerous to Megatron's cause? Well, first a being must understand something… a femme bot was an extension for the Allspark in a way, yet femmes really weren't that different from the regular transformers; it was just that their sparks had been created in such a way that they had been blessed with a larger fraction of the Allspark's power. This allowed them the ability to create new sparks much like the Allspark itself. When it came straight down to it that's all femmes had that was really different from their counterparts except for one external detail. The almost human like bosom that femmes had worn on their chassis was just an added detail after a transformer was found to be blessed so the being could be easily recognized.

The thing was Megatron found that information offensive. What was the point of destroying an Autobot when another could be created and take its place? True, the Allspark did the same thing, but the trick with the Allspark was that it had no allegiances. When a new transformer was created it chose to be Decepticon or Autobot. The thing with femme-created transformers was that most femmes were on the Autobot side so thus were their creations as well … so one day in Megatron's sick CPU he decided that it was time to end the Autobots naturally born recruits. Whoever owned the Allspark ruled … no shades of gray. Thus began his cold campaign to genocide the entire femme population. Neither be it known to the Autobots nor the Decepticons that the femmes had tried to save themselves and not just act like damsels in distress. Let's just say Optimus's story about the Allspark being lost wasn't entirely true. It was more like misplaced by a few femmes who were hoping that its disappearance would end this genocide, but this action was a little too late. Simply stated, Megatron succeeded on that one aspect of the war ...well, almost.

Bee looked down at his flat chassis. Thank Primus for his creator's workshop … and curse the Allspark for its mockery in making him this way.


Sam wasn't a genius on any account, but you just learn things about people that don't need words to be expressed. One of those things that didn't need to be expressed was Bumblebee's distaste for Ratchet naggings on checkups and other such medical procedures. The little guy practically tried to weld on his own legs on then let Ratchet touch him. Of course, he later lost in this predicament when Optimus put his huge metal foot down and told 'Bee to stop his squirming and allow the medic to do his job. That wasn't the only instance of course that led Sam to this conclusion … what about 'Bee's vocal processors? The human had recalled hearing Ratchet grumble one day that he was sick of Bumblebee's radio talk and should just let him open his chassis and insert a new vocal processor. Yes, it would be surgery, but of course, the Camaro wouldn't allow it. Bumblebee said he wanted to keep his original voice and that it was healing just fine. Ironhide merely laughed at the medic's complaints stating, 'You know 'Bee's a coward when it comes to medical anythin' Ratchet … so jus' give up.'

Now Sam, being a hater of needles himself, understood the whole phobia of pain, but the longer he was friends with Bumblebee the more apparent it became that pain wasn't the issue. The little bot had a thing about getting dents and gashes in his paintjob though he merely laughed them off. This of course would lead to another fiasco of Bumblebee running away from Ratchet once they got to the outlook and Optimus having to put his huge metal foot down.

"Epppppppp! Oh my god it's … it's HORRIBLE! EKKKKKKKKKK!" Bee's radio blasted an old horror movie scene from some forgotten classic. Ratchet merely glared up at his patient as he worked on a huge dent in his leg.

"How did you get this again?" growled Ratchet as he reconnected a loose wire. It always surprised him how still Bumblebee was when he did get the rare occasion to work on him. If it wasn't the pain that bothered 'Bee then why did he always struggle? Bumblebee really didn't believe Ironhide's lie about him turning a transformer into the equivalent of a microwave once when said mech squirmed on the operation table, did he?

"Dude lets catch a wave – duck Double 007, the bullet - "

A quick slam to the back of Bumblebee's head from Ratchet made the movie surfing stop. "Speak. I'm in no mood to do any deciphering."

"It was a … screech." The young autobot grabbed at his throat noting that he wasn't going to say anymore.

Ratchet allowed an almost human like sigh to escape him as he looked over at the teenage human leaning against the tree playing with his Ipod, grumbling to the teen, "Sam Witwicky, care to elaborate?"

The human looked up at the huge metallic being for a moment with a dazed looked. Out of all the Autobots it was taking Ratchet the longest to understand human customs, one being Bee-speak as he liked to call it, "Oh … it was Miles again. He crashed his Moped into Bumblebee in the parking lot."

Ratchet and the rest of Autobots sighed, Ratchet grumbling, "You must inform your 'pal' that he must stop injuring my fellow soldiers. I'm growing tired of removing Miles shaped indents from Bumblebee's armor."

Sam merely chuckled. "I'll do that Ratch' … as soon as I tell him that my car is a giant transforming robot in disguise. I'm kinda taking my time. The last thing I need is Miles freaking out again thinking that his new master and enslaver is a giant alien robot overlord. I mean last time I just hinted and he came up with this whole conspiracy theory. He wasn't that far off if you put into account that Megatron would have to have won and was the cause of the economies issues."

The medic nodded. He remembered the day when Sam had brought Miles up to the outlook to meet his new friends. He had only started to explain and was trying to smoothly ease his human companion into the truth when Miles took over going into a slight hysteria. Ratchet would have complemented the human for catching on so quickly but the human was already halfway down the road screaming something about getting supplies ready for the apocalypse. "And how fast was Bumblebee going?"

Another chuckle escaped Sam as he allowed his body to flop in the grass. "That's the beauty of it, 'Bee was parked."

Ratchet shook his head, sighing, "I don't see the humor in this situation Sam."

"Oh if you were there you would have laughed … I mean 'Bee might have whimpered some coming up here but he was laughing most of the time."

Bumblebee merely chuckled sending his hand back to his throat as he flinched in pain. Ratchet dropped his tools and glared at the yellow bot, growling, "That's it … I'm replacing that vocal processor if I have to wrestle you to the ground and make Ironhide sit on you."

Bumblebee's humor was quickly gone.

"No," he stated dully.

Ratchet stood up quickly and shook his hands dancing on his feet much like a boxer would. "Alright Bumblebee I'm sick and tired of your bloody phobia of medial operations. If I have to wrestle it out of you so be it."

Bumblebee blinked his optics in an as-if way, but he went stiff nonetheless. If Ratchet got a good look at the spark hidden underneath his chassis armor that would be the end of his few vorn old secret. The smaller Autobot of course didn't get to dwell on this very long when he suddenly found himself ducking from one of Ratchet's fists … This wasn't good. Yeah, Bumblebee could hold his own despite the size difference, but if it was one thing he learned in keeping his secret from every medic he encountered … medics always got what they wanted.

A gruff laugh escaped Ironhide from the sidelines as the two Autobots took their stances to start their duel. Every circuit jumped with determination in winning this sparing match. Unfortunately, 'Bee had never had a real sparring match with Ratchet, EVER! The medic was generally always to busy with is work to be bothered with such things. Now if this had been Ironhide 'Bee would be rather sure he might be able to win. Despite his heavy weaponry Ironhide had a few weak spots in his armor. Like when you picked behind his left knee plating in the exact right way he'd go down fast and hard … and probably stay that way. The Camaro rather doubted that Ratchet would have such a simple Achilles heel though.

Ratchet made a quick swipe at the back of Bee's legs with his foot, tripping the younger bot. Bumblebee merely twisted to avoid the ground, doing a backwards jump thus rolling on his shoulder and coming to a low defensive pose. The medic grinned, slowly circling the still 'Bee as he looked for a weak spot that could easily be attacked.

The smile continued to hold on the medic's face … this was going to be a short sparring match for him indeed if he could just get the youngling out of his kneeling position and to his feet. He might have to take a hit or two, but if he managed to get the kid down a dent or two would be worth it.

Bumblebee, meanwhile, tried to keep calm as Ratchet circled around him for the second time. Ratchet had a sickening smile on his face plates … and now was officially the time to panic! You see it's a medic's job to find and correct weak spots on his fellow 'bots armor and Bee stressed the world find. That smile could only mean one thing. Ratchet had found 'Bee's Achilles heel. The yellow transformer's gears whizzed in a panicked way as a small chuckle escaped his counterpart. Sam would forgive him for abandoning him while he went into hiding, wouldn't he? The guardian threw his gaze to his charge. Sam was merely smiling as he listened to his Ipod not even noticing that a sparring match had started. It might take some whining, but Sam would forgive him. Now, as soon as Ratchet got another thirty degrees to his left, he'd make a run for it.

… How far was Alaska again?

Ironhide, regrettably, saw Bee throw a quick glance at Sam. The Weapons Specialist shook his head. Bumblebee wouldn't dare run from a sparring match … would he?

The question was quickly answered with a twisting of gears and the squealing of tires as the yellow Camaro made a run for it. A surprised yelp escaped Ratchet as the yellow bot slammed past him … Of course, it wasn't that easy. Ironhide had seen it coming and quickly stood in front of the only exit crossing his arms over his chest. "You better not be runnin' out of a sparring match, kid."

'Bee came to a halt throwing dirt and grime all over the Weapons Specialist as he slid to a dead stop. What? That was supposed to stop him? He wasn't afraid to off road. The Camaro made a quick turn on his wheels and slammed on the gas only to let out a yelp of surprise as someone latched onto the back of his bumper. Bumblebee only had enough time to catch Ratchet grinning before he was flung over and into the air.

Out of desperation not to crush in his hood or any other essential part do to a fall in car mode, 'Bee transformed sliding on his knees. He grimaced in pain at the action. Those leg joints were still sore from Mission City. Of course the poor 'bot didn't even have the time to whine about stiff hydraulics when a fist whizzed over his shoulder plate denting it slightly in the process. This action of course left wiring under Ratchet's arm exposed. A quick fist to the wiring sent the medic back hissing. 'Bee smiled as the other stumbled backwards. So he jumped to his feet ready to shove the other to the ground, but that's when he noticed that Ratchet was still smiling.

"It's not that easy youngling." The medic suddenly grabbed at the back of 'Bee's newly resembled legs sticking a finger beneath the plating and sending the whole wiring into panicked shut down mode to keep them from being damaged since the wiring was still new. A howl of pain was the only sound that was allowed to escape the young bot as his legs gave out and he fell on his back.

The huge crash to the ground and the screaming gears that went with it suddenly sent Sam out of his relaxed state and the teenager jumped to his feet screaming, "The Decepticons! Duck and cover! Duck and cover!"

The human looked around madly expecting bombs or something to come whizzing his way, but instead a soft chuckle floated through the air as the Ipod fell to the ground.

"Calm down, kid. It was not Decepticons or any form of weapon, but he can be just as dangerous as all of those combined," said Irohide as Sam merely blinked up at the Weapons Specialist; the human not getting the Autobots failed attempt at humor. "Ratchet … and sadly 'Bee's learning that the hard way."

Sam's brown eyes followed the mech's pointing finger. There sprawled out on the ground whimpering was Bumblebee with a collection of dust settling around him. Ratchet stood above him with this shit-grin that couldn't be anything else but one of pure humor. The medic then grabbed his dropped scalpel off the ground and walked back over to 'Bee, sitting on top of him and pinning his arms beneath his legs.

"Okay," slurred the human as he stared at the scene with a look of pure confusion. "Is this normal or should I be screaming rape of something?"

"Nope, Ratchet's going to replace 'Bee's vocal processors. He had to wrestle him to the ground first though," chuckled Ironhide as he watched with mild amusement.

"Huh … about time," grumbled Sam as he flopped back into the grass.

Now don't get him wrong. Sam loved Bumblebee like a brother, a brother that was a few meters higher then him mind you, but a brother none the less … and sometimes brothers needed to be punished. Let's just say radio talk could be misinterpreted, which then pissed off Mikaela because she thought 'Bee wanted them to 'do it' in the back seat when Bumblebee was just trying to tell her that she left her phone in the backseat. And … yeah, it just was a downward spiral from there. Mikaela still hadn't spoken to him all this week because of that little fiasco.

Ratchet straddled himself on top the other bot crossing his arms over his chassis. "Well, well, well. It seems I've caught myself a Bumblebee. Now let's get a look under that chassis of yours and end this stupid mockery you dare to call a vocal processor."

'Bee froze for a moment as he stared at the grin on Ratchet's face … Is that what he, soon to be dubbed she, had to look forward to each night for the next millennia? Being forced onto her back as a different Mech would grin down at her with the same egotistical filled smirk as they took their pleasure, claiming it was for the continuation of the species. Bumblebee was in simplest accounts a virgin, but that didn't mean she didn't hear what the older 'bots would whisper during practice about what they would do to a femme if they had one alone for an evening.

A panicked wheeze escaped Bumblebee as he renewed his struggle. Kicking, wrenching and hissing as he tried to get himself away from the body atop him.

Ratchet was at first shock by the desperation in 'Bee's reaction. It wasn't as if he was going to operate while the youngling was still online.

"Calm your circuits Bumblebee. You won't feel anything except some soreness afterwards for a few day cycles. NOW STOP YOUR STRUGGLING! I can't pop your chassis with the way you're thrashing about! I might hit a sensory wiring if you keep moving like this," said Ratchet; the medic watching as Bumblebee's thrashing started to grow slower as he was being wore down by the weight of the other mech though the youngling's wailing grew ever louder as if someone was taking a rake across a collection of chalkboards.

"It's a simple procedure 'Bee," continued the medic as he pinned the other. "It will take a human hour or two tops instead of the weeks it would take for me to slowly correct the damage to you existing voice processor. Now, please stop moving! You're not going to get away. You're merely overheating your circuits with this insanity."

Bumblebee was quickly getting tired from his screaming, thrashing and desperate need to escape. When fighting Decepticons he paced himself and kept his circuits at minimal temp, but his pump was thrashing about in a panic causing his circuits to overheat thus quickly throwing his systems into exhaustion even though he had optimal energy levels to fight of days. The panic was just too much … He couldn't calm his circuits. This was becoming the equivalent of a panic attack. Oh Primus! He couldn't overheat because then he'd be unable to keep Ratchet's hands away from his chassis … away from his spark... away from his secret.

The medic ground himself a little bit deeper into the earth with his knees as the other heated up. True, the Camaro's circuits were overheating so soon the youth would be unable to put up a struggle, but that really didn't matter to Ratchet … Why exactly was 'Bee fighting so hard? Why was he so scared? Bumblebee had operations all the time being the easy target he was. Was it because Ratchet's hands would be close to his spark?

Thinking that the reason, the medic tried to sooth the other,"Bumblebee please calm yourself and tell me wants wrong? You know I would not harm –"

"RATCHET!" The medic turned his attention away from the yellow bot below him and to the direction of the whiny voice; Sam had his hands over his ears and seemed to be wincing with pain as he continued to beg, "I'm going deaf here man! If he can screech like that his vocal processors are fine!"

"Agreed!" growled Ironhide as he tapped the side of his head, off-lining his audio processors. "Just hurry up and offline him before the humans notice."

A whimpered wheeze escaped the yellow mech as he looked over at Ironhide. The old bot had practically raised him when his creator was destroyed and here he was, as the humans would say, hanging him out to dry. No! Please no! No, he didn't want to carry sparklings until he finally died in a birthing. He didn't want to be lovers with soldiers he had once called caretakers and compatriots. HE DIDN"T WANT TO BE THIS WAY!

One last agonizing cry of pure agony escaped the poor bot as Ratchet's fingers drew towards the place in his neck that would offline him …


A surprised yelp escaped the medic as he was suddenly pulled off of Bumblebee and before Bumblebee knew what he was doing he was hidden behind Ironhide, arms wrapped around his caretakers leg like he use to do as a youth. The Weapons Specialist stared in shock at 'Bee and then turned his attention to the medic who was leaning against their Autobot commander looking surprised.

"Um … yes, Optimus?" stated Ratchet dully as if nothing was going on.

"Soldier. What were you doing to Bumblebee and why did you find it necessary to inform every human in the general vicinity that you were doing it? By the time I had arrived there were at least half a dozen vehicles parked below the lookout pointing and wondering what the sound was. Of course I thought it was a Decepticon attack with the cries that were escaping 'Bee's vocal processors," stated Optimus, the leader only receiving a questioned look from his medic as the healer pulled himself out of Optimus' arms and to his feet, glaring the whole time at the yellow bot who was wrapped around Ironhide's leg.

The Commander sighed and then continued in his story. "It took some convincing to get the humans to leave. Now Ratchet I'm not one to question your mechanical expertise but I must requested that you look for a more suitable place to do surgery … perhaps one of the warehouses the government allowed us to have until a permanent residence can be found. There are no human residences nearby so you can work in peace as well as have a sterile environment."

The medic nodded and gruffly answered, "Apologies Optimus. I was simply going to replace Bumblebee's damaged vocal processor … I did not realize he'd be put in such a panic."

Optimus stared at his medic of a moment and then threw his gaze at the scout. "Bumblebee front and center!" Sam nodded to his guardian as the youngling reluctantly let go of Ironhide's leg and stood in front of Optimus, his gaze to the ground as he hung his head in shame. "I understand your fear of medical procedures Bumblebee, but I solemnly swear that if you ever react that way towards Ratchet again I'll hold you down myself kicking and screaming throughout the entire operation without painkillers!"

A small whimper escaped the scout as he nodded his head soberly.

"Good … now gather round soldiers. I have news for you all." The Autobot leader nodded once all his soldier gather round including Sam who stood a few meters from Ironhide's foot … he had long since gotten over getting stepped on. "I received another transmission from a fellow Autobot."

There was a chorus of excitement from the other three as they drew closer to their Commander waiting for the good news.

"It was Hound," continued the Autobot leader. "I was able to transmit some news to him before his signal was broken off… I told him the Allspark was gone along with Megatron."

The huge bot's optics dimmed slightly in a soft tone, "He didn't take the news of the Allsparks destruction well … He said he needed some time to think on what we are to do now. I'm afraid he might do something rash in his misery."

The joy that had filled all the Autobots was suddenly dead. All of them held cheerless expressions. Sam could merely swallow … What had he done? What had he done!

"Optimus?" asked the human in a small voice. "Why was he so upset about the Allspark being destroyed? Isn't it better then letting Megatron have it?"

All the Autobots turned their attention to Sam seeing that the human had a look of horror on his face.

Optimus' words were careful, "Sam … no one is angry at you. If Megatron had gotten the Allspark he would have destroyed the universe if he were able. This fate perhaps is more fitting then the one Megatron had planned for our species."

"Fate?" murmured Sam still baffled.

Ratchet swung his head and ran a finger over his chin plating, "You realize, of course Sam, that new transformers were created by the Allspark … right?"

"Yeah, I kinda remember the whole Nokia trying to kill me," hissed Sam as the Autobots all exchanged looks of confusion. None of them were there for Simmons' display so they had no idea what the teen was talking about.

Sam, catching on, shook his head, "N-never mind. Please talk now. I'm a little lost here."

The medic sighed, "Sam … there is no Allspark meaning there will never be another sparkling. There will be no more younglings … no more children. Our species is as good as extinct once we die."

It was like a slap to the face and a choking noise escaped Sam. What had he done! The species was going extinct because of him? He was a murderer! The teenager lost all his strength and fell to his knees as he stared upwards at the four 'bots. He wanted to cry, to scream and yell … but all he could do was look up at Optimus and whimper, "I-I thought you j-just built new ones, but is there nothing we can do? There had to be something else then the Allspark, right? Didn't you guys have females? M-maybe the Allspark had a brother! Please, Optimus I've already kill one of your kind. Please don't make me the hand that killed you all!"

The Autobots were all silent as they stood above Sam, the shock evident on their facial plates.

" … Please."

Ironhide shifted his weight, the subject sore, "Calm down kid. In truth, we did have somethin' that would be compared to your females. They were called femme bots … pretties' things. Until Megatron."

"Megatron," hissed Optimus as his optics narrowed. His fists clenched as the memories hit him, interrupted Ironhide's words. It was just whenever there was the mention of the femmes he'd automatically picture the titan and what he did to the fair lady bots.

Not knowing the story of course Sam took that statement all the wrong way. "What! Megatron was a female? So I've killed you guys twice over?"

There was a shocked silence as all the transformers looked down at Sam in horror … until Bee broke into a shaken laughter which was quickly followed by Ironhide, Ratchet, and finally Optimus. It was a strange buzzing noise and crunching of gears, Cybertronian laughter, but Sam knew it was a laugh none the less as Ironhide added, "I sure hope not kid, 'cause then our femmes sure would have been ugly."

Sam blushed. "Oh … I … um …"

The huge Autobot leader stopped his laughter and looked calmly down at the small being. "Sam blame not yourself. There is still hope for our kind. Femmes were smart creatures, smarter then most mechs it seems sometimes. I'm sure some found a way to escape Megatron's genocide."

"Genocide?" frowned Sam … God! He was so ignorant! The Autobots probably thought him a fool for asking so many questions. Then again, why would he know anything about giant robot history 101?

Ironhide threw a quick glance at 'Bee waiting for him to offer some words to the explanation or at least a sad song. The little bot did not say nor do anything but stare at the ground and try not to make optic contact with anyone so Ironhide continued, "Well, being the slag-head he was, Megatron wanted to make sure whoever got the Allspark truly won the war. With femmes able to reproduce without the help of the Allspark that plan was a total waste of time. So he did something disgusting! He ordered that every femme bot be destroyed!"

A surprised look filled Sam's eyes but he did not question it as he turned his head to Ratchet, the medic continuing the story.

"Even though I find Ironhide's explanation accurate a more precise explanation is that Megatron ordered his soldiers to kill every femme they could find. Yes, some Decepticons did revolt saying it was wrong, but in Megatron's optics anyone who disagreed with him was as good as an Autobot. Thus they were to be shot down like an Autobot … No Decepticons questioned him after that. We did are best to protect the femmes, but we received the information too late."

A silence filled the area as the medic and the others hung their heads in same depressed manner until Ironhide spoke up, "Well that was depressing."

"Indeed," Ratchet nodded his head solemnly. "Perhaps we should discuss something less time consuming … like deciding where to make temporary base so I can put up a decent medical bay. I mean –"

Okay … conversation over, high time to hightail it out of here though the Camaro.

Slowly, 'Bee started taking steps backwards towards the left were Sam was lost in Ratchet's words. If he could just get to the human he would be outta here and away from Ratchet's finger because he was positive that the medic would soon get on the subject of fixing 'Bee's vocal processors again. Thus, in cause and effect, Optimus would put his huge metal foot down and end this vorns old charade of hide-and-go-secret.

Sam stood there craning his neck backwards as he listened to Ratchet speak. He felt slightly queasy by how quickly the Autobots dismissed the discussion of their species' extinction. He had a feeling they'd continue it later when he was not around, thus sparing him anymore guilt. Deep in thought, the human jumped when he felt a cold finger run down his back.

Sam quickly slapped the metal finger away as violently as he could without hurting himself, grumbling, "Damn it Bee, I'm trying to listen. You do realize my new hangout will be wherever you guys decide to put up shop, right?"

Prod… prod … poke … prod.

"'Bee!" hissed Sam as he looked over his shoulder at the smaller bot that was meticulously hidden behind Ironhide whom didn't even seem to notice he was being used as a visual shield from Ratchet. The Camaro's optics seemed dim and weary … like he was afraid. "What's wrong 'Bee? Not still afraid of Ratchet, are you?"

"There's no place like home. There's no place like home," came the chime of Dorothy from Wizard of Oz.

Sam pulled his brow down in a questioning manner. Did 'Bee really want to go home that badly? "Trying to hide from Ratchet?"

"Oh yes, very much so," came to voice of the unforgettable child actor known for her red curls … Sam couldn't place her name but his mom loved her. Her name was Curly Sue, right?

"Optimus I hope you're willing to uphold your earlier statement about holding Bumblebee down … Hey, were did –"

A laugh echoed over the clearing as it became apparent that the conversation between the three older mechs had turned 'Bee's way, Optimus murmuring in a light humor, "Ironhide it seems 'Bee has decided to use you as a living shield."

The Weapons Specialists stared at Optimus is surprise for a moment before he took a step to the side revealing the younger mech to everyone. Wrinkling his metallic nose, Ironhide grumbled, "Kid … I'm not Barricade so find someone else to block you from sight."

A nervous laugh escaped the little Camaro as Ratchet continued, "As I was discussing with Prime, 'Bee, you are to going to accompany me to one of these warehouses this evening … you're not going to make Prime drag you are you?"

The medic scowled at the youngling already knowing full well what the answer was.

'Bee merely whimpered and threw a pleading gaze back at Sam. The teenager sighed … Okay, fine. He'd give, but what was the point in delaying the inevitable? Sam hadn't known Ratchet for that long, but he knew the medic usually got what he wanted, be it by threat with his scalpel or his wisdom.

"No Prime!" gapped Sam all of the sudden putting on his best acting face. "I need to get home … NOW!"

Optimus tilted his head in a very human manner. Sam wasn't saving 'Bee's aft again, was he? Really, wasn't it supposed to be the other way around with 'Bee being the guardian?

Resisting the urge to pinch his nose bridge, he asked, "Why Sam? If something urgent was happening you should have informed us earlier."

Sam swallowed. Okay, his acting skills were a bit rusty … since the second grade. "Um … that's because … I just remembered."

"Remembered what?" said Ironhide with a grin. Ah, this was a game Will played with his femme Sarah all the time … lets see who'd win first. Ratchet, aka the wife, or Sam, aka the husband who wants to sneak out with the guys for the evening.

The human gapped for a moment like a fish until he finally blurted out, "I FORGOT TO WATER THE PLANTS!"

The medic almost laughed before he added, "I'm sure the vegetation in your residence can wait Sam. 'Bee's systems need attention and it will only be a few short earth hours."

Sam looked at the medic and then at Bumblebee. No one could say he hadn't tried. The human slowly turned his attention back to the Camaro ready to say, 'have fun 'Bee' when he received a hard poke to the back of the shin as if the 'bot knew what he was thinking.

"DAMN IT "BEE! That hurt! I should let Ratchet-," the mechs were all staring at him, "Um … I mean … NO! You don't get it Ratchet!" The teenager started throwing his arms madly into the air to emphasizing the seriousness that he was lying about. "I have to go now! Now! The plants they're dying! Dying! Oh my god, I can feel the oxygen decreasing in the atmosphere … cough, cough, wheeze. … can't … breath …"

The human then grabbed at his throat and slowly fell to his knees panting and coughing the whole time. "No … to … beautiful … to … die."

Ratchet, no longer smiling, was now in a slight panic as he ran every known scan on the atmosphere around them. Yes, the oxygen levels were a little lower due to the height of the area but it was a very acceptable amount for the human physiology … at least he had thought it was. "Sam, I don't understand. The death of a few plants can't really be causing this distress to your body."

"Coughsputterwheeze … yes, it is Ratchet … cough!"

Prime's leadership skills quickly kicked into high gear and he barked a command, "Bumblebee!" The little 'bot stood up tall and proud trying not to chirp happily, "Take Sam home and remember to pull extra oxygen levels into your cab so Sam does not suffocate. Move soldier, MOVE!"

'Bee transformed and Sam quickly jumped in noting that the air conditioning was on high for an added effect and then they were out of there. Sam then burst out laughing as they drove towards home, the whole scenario was like a great prank, "Oh my god! I can't believe they actually fell for that."

"Indeed," croaked Bumblebee's vocal processor.

The teenager swallowed his laughter, the joy dying as the bitter truth hit him. He had to addressed the issue,

Breathing deep and slowly, Sam murmured, "Bumblebee … why do you never let Ratchet operate on your chest? You let him near your legs and that, but why not your chest? You don't have a corpse or something in there, do you?"

"No Sam," chirped 'Bee … but he'd choose the corpse any day over the truth.

"Okay, good and 'Bee," continued Sam, the transformers quickly catching onto the lowered heartbeat of the human as the youth added, "I'm sorry about destroying the Allspark. I'm so sorry for making you guys … you know … go extinct."

'Bee sighed, wishing he could pull right over and throw his chassis open screaming at the human not to cry because right in front of him was a femme. See! Their kind was going to survive … but he couldn't. He just couldn't. A sorrowful tune taking his confession and pressing it away, "Don't cry my baby … the sun will rise in the morning."

… But Sam still cried, his sobs echoing within the sports car's cab.


Will sat on the small deck in front of his house nursing a lemonade and cooing to Annabelle at his side, stating, "Oh … who's the most beautiful girl in all world?"

The little girl shrieked happily at her daddy's tickling and kicked at his dancing fingers until he stopped. Once it was obvious that daddy was done with the game, Annabelle then returned her attentive gaze to a firefly that was dancing in the evening air. Will chuckled at her curiosity and leaned back in his chair … and here he thought watching Annabelle for a week alone was going to be hard while Sarah was at her mothers.

House wives had it easy…

… Until a sudden screech of tires informed the soldier that his metallic companion was heading his way. His daughter giggled stating that she knew her big, metal toy was coming home. Will did not share her joy. Something was very off especially with the way dust clouds were billowing behind the Topkick like he was being chased by the devil himself. Lennox swallowed and quickly ran into the house grabbing his handy-dandy rocket launcher; child locks of course.

Ironhide was halfway transformed as he slid to a halt in front of Will's house, dust abound as he yelled, "Will!"

The human started turning around in circles madly looking at the skies. Where were the Decepticons! There wasn't one behind Ironhide so it must mean he's in the sky, his soldier's voice demanding, "Where is he! Where is he! I'll teach him for trying to disturb the peace of my home. Come out you Decepticon filth!"

The transformer stared at the human in question for a moment as if he was mad, completely still.

Will's shoulders slumped as he stared at the other, asking dryly, "There are no Decepticons, are there?"

"No, there is not Will Lennox," confirmed the metallic being in a hurried tone. "Have you watered your plants Lennox! Have you watered the plants like your femme said!"

Lennox blinked once, getting more confused by the moment. What? Had Sarah threatened Ironhide's motherboard if he didn't make sure Will watered the plants? Slowly, the human replied, "Um … no. I think the fern might be dead."

A scream of agony escaped the huge bot as he fell to his knee's whimpering like a whipped dog. He kept whispering something like, 'No. I've killed my human' and 'I'll never forgive myself for killing that tree' as well as some whimpering about Sam Witwicky's flowerbed.

The rocket launcher fell to the ground with a thud as Will stared in awe at the Weapon Specialist's breakdown. What had Sarah threatened to do! Waving his hands, he cried, "Don't worry buddy! I'll water the plants right now okay … and we'll get a new fern tomorrow! Just calm down, calm down!"


Paw07: Arg! No! Get away you fiends! Away I say! Epp! … I hate plot bunnies. Anyway here's another brainchild from yours truly and I know I already have other fics but the stupid plot bunnies wouldn't SHUT UP! Oh, and this idea arose when I was skimming the Ninja Turtle section where I ran across Vashsunglasses' story Cosmopolitan. So if this is messed up you have her to blame. (Point guilty finger at Vashsunglasses') As usual I also ask readers to respond if I should continue or scrap the idea … Also, damn you plot bunnies. (Swipes broom around madly as the plot bunnies continue to attack.)

Edit: Revised September 2012