Just a few one shots on my favorite couple in the batman comic, please R&R, some chapters are in AU.


Dent found himself attempting to stretch the color of his Arkham jumpsuit with his index finger. It was a habit that had become almost bothersome, as the gesture left a slight rash on the scared side of his neck. Nothing he couldn't handle, but the line that he currently shuffled along with was another story.

"Might I perhaps have some tea with my loaf of meat?" He heard Jervis Tetch ask the greasy looking inmate behind the counter.

Nuts serving other nuts meat loaf, what's the world coming to? Two-Face teased in his mind. He did have a point, there's a reason they don't allow some of the high profile inmates to do any of the daily chores in the asylum.

"Imagine if they let Jonathan Crane get a hold of any of the sloppy joe, or the laundry?" Harvey said aloud to his bitter half.

After Tetch was rebuffed for the fifth time he final moved down the line to find a seat in the large cafeteria. Dent picked the top foam tray from the stack and eyeballed the nobody behind on the other side of the sneeze guard.

"Meatloaf or lasagna?" The server asked, genuine uninterested.

The itch for his coin had to be over what was for dinner? Pathetic, now more than ever he wished he switched his coin with a fake when his shrink took it.

"Surprise me." Two-Face answered for Dent; a small smirk on un-scarred half of his face.

The server reacted almost instantly by carving half a serving of meatloaf and lasagna, and slopped the unholy looking mess on his try.

"Surprised?" He asked as he swatted a fly with the spoon.

A sigh escaped the former district attorney as he moved down the line and got a serving spoon full of what looked like carrots and corn from the other serving inmates. He forgot about the mess on his plate for a few moments to focus on the task of finding himself a decent seat. The tables weren't full; in fact many inmates couldn't eat with the others. Some preferred to stay in their cells for whatever reason, while others where forced to stay in the enclosed confinement.

His train of thought was almost completely severed when a very familiar scent filled his nostrils. It brought his line of sight to the botanical beauty sitting a few yards away from where he stood. Her smile never seemed to fade, even in this place. She seemed to be praying over her special order vegetarian meal. Of course, Pamela Isley wasn't praying to god, but for the plants she was about to eat to forgive her.

It seemed so strange that a woman like her was sitting alone, but then again the only two who of their fellow "freaks" were Edward Nigma and Tommy Eliot. Although, they have had an on going chess game for what seemed to drag on for weeks. Since Harley Quinn had turned over a new leaf, Ivy has been alone in the company department.

It wasn't till she finished her little prayer and felt the chill of being watched that their eyes met. It was a rare occurrence, so rare that Dent couldn't even remember the circumstances of the previous occurrence. Ivy smiled a bit wider as she quickly looked around to make sure that he was staring at her. Her head tilted slightly as she patted the place on the table across from her in an inviting manner.

Ain't this a sight, you'd think this was a high school cafeteria. Two-Face taunted, snapping Harvey out of the pheromone trance.

Her smiled stayed until a crash was heard in the hall leading to the cells. There was shouting by several guards and the four that guarded the eating area drew their nightsticks and ran to help, but were immediately tossed aside by the cause of the chaos. A cloud of dust settled to reveal the creature that used to be Waylon Jones. Groans escaped the throat of the guard that's face was clutched in Corc's clawed hands, as the scaled humanoid's sniffed the air until he seemed to find his next meal.

Harvey's body finally caught up with his brain as he dropped his tray the same time Jones dropped his last victim and let his eyes dilated on the green skinned beauty, which realized that she was about to become mulch. The creature's movement's where faster than the human eye could follow as he crossed the threshold of the room in one pounce, landing on Ivy's table which was crushed almost instantly by his weight. Her scream was almost ear shattering as pinned her to the tile flooring, claws digging into her skin.

"Feeding time…" The creature managed to growl out, his breath could curl wallpaper.

He wasn't as fast as Jones, maybe because Harvey felt like he was moving in slow motion. Somehow he made it to the hulking mass of man and swung his arms around his bulking neck and hugged it as tight as possible.

A muffled screech tried to escape Croc's throat as he felt his airway slowly closing. Waylon shot up reached and clawed, his body mass not allowing him to remove the nuisance on his back.

"Wrestling crocs is not our forte, Dent!" Two-Face shouted over the confusion as the man-beast slammed his back against the nearby wall.

With the intention of scrapping Harvey off like a fly, he continued smashing his back into the wall. Dent's very bones began to ache as his grip loosened, but he knew he was dead if he let go. Harvey's brain was barley conscious, but realized that letting go was what he needed to do. He timed his move just right and slid of the creatures back as he reared himself in the wall as fiercely as possible. The wall gave way to the courtyard of the institution, taking Jones with it.

Two-Face didn't even care about Ivy right now, or the throbbing paint hat was slowly making itself know through his entire body. His fellow inmates took the opportunity and began to make their escape through the modest hole, but Harvey only had one thing on his mind. He slowly got to his feet and grabbed two of the biggest misplaced bricks that he could hold in each hand. His steps were heavy, but each one had a purpose as he closed in on the slowly revitalizing Croc. Dent didn't even allow the beast to look at him as he brought the brick in his right hand down on the temple of Jones.

He alternated blows with each hand and brick until only bloody ruble was left in his hands. The unconscious body of Waylon Jones lay under him as he felt his body wanting to give way under its own pressure.

"Now…where's my meatloaf surprise?" Harvey asked no one in particular as his strain got the better of him, and darkness overcame him.

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It wasn't till a full thirty hours later that Harvey groaned out of his slumber. His whole body was soar; he couldn't even feel certain parts of himself. It was a bit hazy, but Dent studied his surroundings. An i.v was in his arm and he felt a tight bandage around his throbbing head. There was something else, or someone else in the room with him.

"Well hello you two." Pamela sighed as she gently leaned on the mattress from where she was kneeling on the side of the bed.

Her eyes showed how tired her fatigue as her hair messily fell about her face. A broken smile stretched across her lips as he noticed a bruise above her right cheek.

"You ok?" Dent asked as he painfully slid up into a sitting position on the headboard of the bed. A soft giggle escaped the woman as she tilled her head onto his thigh.

"I was about to ask you the same thing." Her body weight shifted as she sat on the edge on the bed and leaned closer to him, feeling her chest press against his.

"Thanks hero." She whispered to him and gently kissed his lips with no intention of poisoning him.

"Your welcome…see you in the cafeteria?" He asked as he watched her stand up and stretch out as if she were ready to leave.

"Save you a seat." She winked as she sauntered out of the intensive care unit, hips swaying from side to side.

"Now That…was some corny shit." Two-Face jeered, as if coming out of trance as well.

"Shut it." Harvey retorted with a smile as he laid back down for some more sleep.