Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight series. That right belongs to Stephenie Meyers.
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I never fancied myself in love before. Perhaps it wasn't love, but instead lust. Even I didn't know the answer. When I first laid eyes on Carlisle's son Edward, I was infatuated. He had a cute, boyish face and was flawless. Of course he was. Edward was as much a vampire as I was.
Our clan settled in Alaska and I took on newcomers who wanted to change their way of life. My past is very little, but my future is so vast. I have lived through the years and seen the world. I have traveled through time and dived into the deepest of oceans. I was invincible, beautiful, and unstoppable.
That was until I met Edward.
He changed my point of view. I use to think I could get what I wanted by merely manipulating another with my charm and beauty. His sister Rosalie was far more beautiful than anyone I had ever seen, but that was all she was to him, a sister. No competition would be made. I adored Rosalie, partly because she wasn't anything more to Edward as intended.
I sighed softly and breathed in the artic wind of Alaska. Twilight settled upon the great land that I had learned to live and adapt. My clan wasn't anything like those filthy, sadist vampires; we consumed animal blood. Another thing I had in common with Edward and the Cullen family. We were a perfect match. Both beautiful. Both smart. Both charming.
Sadly he wasn't as attracted to me as I was to him. Nothing seemed to appease him. Nobody turned his head or even made him look twice. Not even me. The time I had spent with the Cullen family taught me a few things. I learned of the unique abilities that Alice and Jasper had. I was mortified when I learned of Edward's ability. My thoughts weren't exactly chaste.
Nevertheless, Edward allured me. Something about handsome, polite boy caught my attention. Perhaps it was how he could be polite one moment, and then arrogantly haughty the next. Maybe it was the way he gave that devilish little smirk of his. I didn't know what attracted me to Edward, but all I knew is that I wanted him. I desired his attention and yet I wasn't satisfied when he gave me said attention.
I knew our feelings weren't mutual. Edward was far too civil in the company of a lady. When I confided in Alice and Rosalie, they told me that he hadn't taken a liking to anyone as far as they knew. I grimaced and hoped that Edward wasn't indifferent. That would be a pity; such a waste of Adonis.
I couldn't understand my sudden impulse. There had to be something. Anything. Edward just had to feel something for me; it wasn't possible that he didn't. I constantly yearned for his company and he complied with my every whim. How could there not be any attraction? Edward was simply playing hard to get, I concluded. Even my false delusions didn't ease my urgency to be with him. Pathetic, I know.
A petulant sigh escaped my lips as I walked back inside my room, passing my mirror. I stopped. Yes, I was vain. I walked a few steps back and stared intently at my reflection. My pale figure enhanced my topaz colored eyes to the point where even I was entranced. Wisps of strawberry blonde hair framed my perfectly angular face, cascading freely down my back. I was slender in my black dress, but I wasn't as small as Alice. Never once had a birthed a child, so an absence of curve was inevitable.
I couldn't understand why Edward wouldn't give up and confess. Plenty of men praised me for my beauty-well-human men. They were hopelessly pathetic. None could compare to Edward; not a single person. I growled and turned around furiously, but froze in placed.
"Hello Tanya," he said softly.
I stared at Edward, shocked that he was in my room. If my heart wasn't stopped for all eternity, it would be beating profusely. "Edward," I gasped. "It's nice to see you."
He smiled and nodded his head. "I wanted to bid you farewell before I was off with my family."
"What?" No. It couldn't be. The time passed so quickly that it seemed as if the Cullen's had only arrived weeks ago instead of months.
"Yes, I know." He laughed and I caught on that he read my thoughts. The boy was nosy. "But we won't be that far. Esme found us a wonderful home in Forks, Washington."
I bit my lip. "Edward, please…"
His eyes hardened slightly as he shook his head. "Don't."
"I love you," I blurted out foolishly. A wave of relief washed over me as I finally admitted my affections out loud.
Edward stood still. His eyes softened, filling me with a sense of hope. "I'm flattered Tanya, but I must apologize." My eyes widened slightly. "I don't return your affections."
"But you must-"
"No." Edward said gently. "I'm very sorry if I led you on Tanya. I will take my leave now." He turned his back and walked towards the door.
"I know you love me Edward," I sobbed tearlessly. "You do."
"You can't deny what is there." He turned around at my comment and stared back at me sadly.
"But you can't accept what isn't there," Edward whispered. He then walked back out of the door, closing it quietly.