Hello, this is the author, Weirdo94. I'd just like to point out to everyone that this is a comedy. I'm not trying to replicate the characters perfectly, I'm not going for deep character development, and I'm not going for an epic storyline. I'm simply going for a cheap laugh, and if you're not looking for that, then don't continue reading, get pissy about it, and start complaining in the reviews. Because that's stupid, really stupid.

Now without further ado...


Save Maria! Chapter 1: The Idea

It's another long morning for Shadow, who after fifty years, still cannot get over Maria Robotnik's death. Alone in a small apartment, he is found cooking eggs. Scrambled, like his memories.

"Ugh...Why can't I keep my mind off of that day?" He says, as he rests his head on the counter that heats his breakfast, "If I could only move on and find something to make me happy again." Shadow then sighs and says "No, she's the only one who could return joy to my life, but it would be impossible to bring her back. I'd have to be able to travel through the fabric of time itself to do that, and that's impossible"

At this point the Ultimate Lifeform's nose begins to twitch after picking up an odd scent. "What's that smell?" Ponders Shadow, as he tries to identify it. At this point his senses finally decipher the smell of burning flesh, as the incredible pain of laying your head down on a heated stove while monologing for a good two and a half minutes kick and sends Shadow running down the hallway, screaming like a small girl and looking for the burn treatment kit.

Twenty minutes later, with half of his face bandaged and covered in aloe, Shadow begins to eat his breakfast. He slowly picks a piece of cold egg from out of the frying pan and beings to take small, uninterested nibbles at it. Right now his mind is still deeply focused on Maria. Is there a way to go on without her, and more importantly, is there a way to bring her back?

And that's when it hit him…

Maybe he COULD find a way to travel back in time, surely someone had to be researching this kind of technology! The first name that popped in his head was the Eggman, but he was out on vacation…

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"Shadow, I'm going on a vacation!"

"A vacation? Exactly where do you plan to go, Doctor?"

"To Bermuda, baby!" Eggman says with a smirk as he pulls out a small piece of bright red cloth.

"And this thong shall be my key to hot women and good times!"

"…"

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Shadow shudders at the thought of Robotnik in a thong, "Bermuda, eh? He's not coming back in a long time…Thank God" But this still leaves him with a dilemma, if he can't ask the doctor for help, then who can he ask? There was only one person, and despite how much he hates the idea, he knew there was no other option…

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Knock Knock Knock "Tails, open the damn door!" The foxboy peeks his head out a nearby window then opens the door to greet our angsty protagonist.

"Oh, hi Shadow, what brings you here on this fine day?"

"Cut the small talk. Do you have any devices capable of time travel?"

"Yes, quite a few, actually"

"I need to borrow one"

"Okay, just one second"

Tails runs off to his lab while Shadow waits by the front door, tapping his foot impatiently. After two minutes, Tails returns with a Telly the Teaching Time Clock, a cute children's clock for teaching time, on a gold chain.

"This is the Flava Flav Children's Time Traveler's Clock of Love" Said Tails proudly, "I've been working on getting this into the stores for quite some time now. I've got at least a dozen of them though, so you can keep this one"

"Wow, really?" Said Shadow in amazement.

"Yeah, sure, why not?"

"Wow. Um…Usually I have to go on a homicidal killing spree to get anything I want, I even brought my gun with me. To tell you the truth, I feel a bit awkward bringing it all this way just for nothing."

The next three seconds were nothing but awkward silence, followed by Shadow quickly pulling out his precious .44 Desert Eagle and firing a round into Tails' ankle.

"Well, I guess I have to get going."

"Okay, bye Shadow" Said Tails happily, as he lay on the ground in the fetal position, clutching his ankle with his left hand and desperately trying to stop the bleeding.

A few moments later, Sonic approaches his injured friend and asks, "Hey, what did Shadow come here for?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just wanted to borrow a time machine and shoot me in the leg" replied Tails

"Well next time you see Shadow, can you tell him I said Hi?"

"Sure thing, Sonic!"

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Back at the apartment, the day of reckoning had finally come. Shadow held the talking children's clock high in the air by it's dazzling golden chain, "Now I will finally undo the mistakes that were made fifty years ago!" Says Shadow in a triumphant voice, "But first…"

…And as Shadow utters those words, the clock begins to glow and the speakers wail,"Yeah boyyyyy, back to October 3rd, 3236!" and with a bright flash, Shadow disappears...without a trace…


Comments: Woo, about time I made something with Shadow in it! Anyway, if you came here from the promise of a comedy co-starring Maria, she comes into the picture next chapter. Okay then, have fun waiting for the update! .