Reason to This Smile


All of them; Miranda, Krory, Lavi, Kanda, Bookman…Komui.


Once again, she had been separated from him, except this time there was no way for him to find and protect her, he was gone for good.

She shivered and rested her head on her brother's coffin. She was all out of tears, they had all dried up long ago, leaving her with no way to express the utter loss and pain that was tearing a large hole through her heart.

"I thought you'd be here, Lenalee."

She slowly turned her head towards Allen. He was far more damaged than her, she had been lucky to have escaped with only minimal scars and a broken collar bone; whereas Allen had a broken arm and leg, many gashes and wounds along his body and had just woken from a severe concussion.

He limped towards her on his crutch and threw himself as gracefully as he could onto the ground next to her, "So many people just…gone." He muttered bitterly, then smiled at a coffin next to Komui's, "Of course, Kanda wouldn't go down without a fight," he laughed, "Then again, I can't see him dying any other way." He turned his gaze towards her, "Can you imagine him dying of old age?" He laughed again.

Lenalee stared at him with an open jaw, here were all these people who were special and important to her, and he was laughing and joking about them? She gave him a stony look and looked away from him.

"Eh? Lenalee?" His smile faltered a little, "Lenalee?"

She shuffled away from him, the cheery vibe emanating from him was making her sick.

He followed her shuffling for a good five minutes until they had done a whole lap around the coffin and chuckled, "You're quite stubborn, you know?"

She turned on him with a scream of frustration, startling not only Allen, but the surrounding mourners. She slammed her fists against his heavily injured chest, "Stop smiling like that!" She cried and beat even harder, "Why are you smiling? Do their deaths mean nothing to you?" Newly formed tears began to leak from her eyes and dribble onto Allen's legs. And here she was thinking that she couldn't cry any more.

He abruptly caught her wrists and pulled her close to him in an embrace. She looked up at him furiously, to which he only gave a cheerless smile and gently wiped away her tears with his gloved thumb.

"Stop," She moaned and sobbed harder, "Stop smiling…"

He pressed his forehead against hers, letting his snowy white hair create a small veil between the two of them and the outside world. Lenalee looked into his silvery blue eyes with vehemence, mentally willing his upturned lips to mourn like hers.

He closed his eyes and took a breath, the warm vapour blew against Lenalee's face, turning it warm, "I smile, because it's the only thing keeping me from crying."

He opened his eyes and watched as her lower lip began to quiver and her violet eyes shone bright with unshed tears. He brushed away stray hairs that were falling across her forehead and hesitantly pressed his lips against it, murmuring, "You can cry you know, Lenalee, no one is going to think any less of you if you do."

She buried her face into the crook of his neck and cried quietly, "You don't have to be so strong either, Allen."

He rubbed soothing circles in her back and replied in an even quieter voice, "I know, but my crying won't make you feel any better, will it?"

Lenalee wrapped her arms around him, at least someone understood herself better she did.


Um…I severely wish for a different ending. But at least it's finished, it took me forever to come up with a good (enough) D. Gray-Man fan fiction, it was quite maddening really.