Giving In - A Mai HiME Fanfiction
One: For You
Disclaimer: I do not own Mai HiME or any of its components. Sunrise do. However, if I did own it, Shizuru and Natsuki would be a lot happier and so would the fans! Because I know the meaning of market research. Ahem, anyway...
Warning: This was originally intended to be only a smutfic but it's kind of evolved into something more. However, it will eventually get around to that and will focus on the intimacy of two female characters. If you don't appreciate that (though I couldn't understand why) then look away now before your eyeballs melt! Now that those people have left, lets get on with the lemon-y goodness!
The air gave way, almost in fear, as the whistle of a blade sliced through it. Natsuki's heart stammered in her chest at the sight before her. Is this the place? She inwardly questioned. Her hand tightly gripped a door handle and she had one foot inside the room and one outside. She had frozen as soon as she'd opened the door and the scene before her registered in her mind. Another whistle sounded out and Natsuki's eyes followed a blur of metal sweep in an arc through the air. The owner of the weapon was dressed in an unusual attire. Unusual to Natsuki anyway. Black armour adorned their legs, waist, chest and head. Underneath the armour were black pleated pants and a white shirt tied at the upper arm by white cloth. It was as if the armoured form was dancing, weaving the deadly weapon to an unheard beat. The facemask hid the identity of the owner and Natsuki squinted at the piece of armour to try and catch a glimpse through the metal bars.
A quiet cough broke the spell that held Natsuki in position and she blinked a few times, turning her head from side to side to find the source. Similarly dressed women stood around the edge of the large hall, all but one focused on the weapon wielding dancer in the center of it. All of them held their facemasks at their sides and she was surprised to see not one man among them. The woman who had been gently coughing to draw her attention now stood a few feet away, a soft smile and a curious look on her face. Feeling a little embarrassed for her staring and state of indecision, Natsuki drew herself fully into the room and carefully closed the door behind her.
"Can I help you?" The woman's soft tone was hushed.
Natsuki shot her a cold look, her eyebrows drawing together to cause irritated creases to appear. "No."
The other woman's eyes widened in surprise at first but soon narrowed in suspicion. She took a step closer but paused at the hostile glare she received. "This area is for members only..." She trailed off, expecting Natsuki to understand the remainder of the sentence.
The raven-haired teenager's jaw clenched. Why was this stranger butting into her business? She turned away from the annoyance and her eyes were drawn back to the lone figure in the center of the hall. Each placement of the foot, each tense of a muscle, each arc and thrust of the blade was made with precision and such grace that Natsuki could only gawk in awe. A spark of recognition tugged at her mind, stirring disturbing memories. There was something about those movements that reminded her of the way Shizuru had wielded her element during The Carnival, yet there was also something distinctly different. The weapon itself was very different from the extravagance of the red naginata her friend had used to kill so many. This one was merely a long wooden shaft with a blade akin to a katana's attached at one end of it. Just before the blade was a small circular guard and below that was the naginata's only decoration; red cloth that had been wrapped around it to about halfway down the shaft. Each of the weapon's movements was lacking in that murderous intent she had witnessed before, replaced with the want to show the beauty of the kata.
Feeling a pressure on her shoulder, Natsuki spun around to face the same woman as before. She flinched away, scowling at her. "What do you think you're doing?" She forced through clenched teeth, attempting to control her anger at the lack of respect towards her personal space.
The surprise appeared on the other woman's face once more and lingered. "I'm sorry but I'll have to ask you to leave."
Natsuki let out a frustrated breath. "Look, I'm here to meet someone." She raised her voice a little, hoping she'd get the point and leave her be. Besides, she had come to meet someone, she was just a little earlier than expected. She'd often come pick up Shizuru outside this building and give her a ride back to her apartment on her Ducati. But curiosity and an early dinner and pushed her inside to see what exactly it was her friend did in here.
She knew Shizuru participated in many activities during the day and evenings but she hadn't divulged every single one to her. She guessed her friend thought it might bore her. Perhaps if she'd been talking of tea ceremonies she would have been right in her assumptions but this was an entirely different matter. In the past, she'd never really thought of Shizuru as an active sort of person, she always seemed to expend as little energy as possible, doing only enough and nothing more. Certainly, this seemed to be the case with her work as Kaichou of the Student Council. In every day tasks, she seemed to move languidly yet always with grace and poise. Yet, she had seen another side to Shizuru entirely when The Carnival had come. That Shizuru had done everything in her power to ensure Natsuki's enemies were destroyed. And that was an awful lot of power she had discovered.
It made sense to her now that Shizuru would be involved in naginatajutsu but she was still surprised to find her here. She knew Shizuru felt immense guilt over her actions during The Carnival and had expected that she'd want to sever herself from any reminder of them. Again, Shizuru had proven that she was stronger than she had given her credit for. She hadn't spotted her in this hall though. Where could she be?
"I still need to ask you to wait outside." The woman said almost apologetically.
Why wasn't she giving up? Natsuki crossed her arms across her chest defiantly and took on a stance that, she hoped, told the other woman she was going nowhere. The other woman's brow knotted in confusion and irritation. Obviously, she couldn't understand why this girl was being so obstinate. Now she had drawn the attention of a few others in the hall. Just as the woman next to Natsuki was about to open her mouth and repeat her remark, she glanced behind the girl clad in biker leathers, her eyebrows rising.
"It's okay, Arao-san." Came a muffled voice from behind her and she turned quickly, her arms still folded across her chest, the leather creaking slightly at the sudden movement.
Stood there, just feet away, was the one who had been performing the kata in the center of the hall, holding the naginata with its blunt end resting against the polished floor. "Sensei?" The questioning voice of the woman who had been annoying her drifted to her ears but she didn't turn to look at her.
In one fluid motion, this Sensei reached up behind the facemask and pulled at the black cloth tied behind it before grasping it firmly with the same hand. The protective garment was then tugged at, releasing a mane of chestnut hair to fall around and frame a refined face. Deep crimson eyes pierced her own, never faltering, a smile gracing her calm features. Natsuki's heart fluttered at the sight and she was slightly surprised to see there wasn't a single sign of perspiration on the captivating beauty. Those eyes then flicked away from hers and settled upon the woman nearby.
"She is my guest." Shizuru explained and then turned around to address the rest of the class. "That is enough for today. Ensure you practice your katas. I will want to see you performing them next time." The other women bowed to their sensei and she returned it before facing Natsuki once more.
"Shizuru..?" Natsuki asked a little uncertainly. She's a sensei? Her brain finally registered the new information. The armoured woman cocked her head to one side and smiled at her, a hint of fondness seeping into her expression. It's so strange... seeing her like this, she thought. Her emerald gaze dropped down over the contours of the protective clothing, finally coming to Shizuru's bare feet and then back up again to meet crimson which now held a touch of amusement.
"Ara, is something wrong? Natsuki is early." Came the instantly recognisable Kyoto-ben accent.
Natsuki shook her head slowly, still stunned by the revelation. And that kata... I knew she was graceful but... that was beautiful. She shut off her inner monologue and concentrated on replying to Shizuru instead. "No, I just finished up early and got fed up waiting outside." She jabbed her thumb in the direction of the door behind her to emphasise her words.
"As impatient as ever." The corner of Shizuru's lips twitched upwards as she spoke. At Natsuki's roll of the eyes and huffed breath she glanced around the room. Natsuki followed her gaze, seeing that most of the women had filed into an adjoining room but some had remained, chatting to each other. She then looked back at Natsuki. "I need to get this armour off, can Natsuki assist me?" There was a twinkle of something in those crimson orbs but Natsuki barely registered it. When she continued to look blankly at her friend, she continued. "It is hard to get on and off."
"Oh." Natsuki grunted out and shrugged. Shizuru smiled again and turned, lifting her naginata and walking towards a lone door in the opposite wall. One of the students shuffled over eagerly and Shizuru passed her naginata to the woman. Natsuki couldn't help but glare as a blush filled the student's cheeks when Shizuru looked at her. Stupid fangirls, she inwardly cursed. Apparently sensing something was awry, the girl hurried away to place the weapon back where it belonged whilst the sensei wasn't using it.
Natsuki's attention was drawn back to Shizuru when she heard the jangle of keys and she saw the door being opened. Her friend glanced back at her before stepping inside and she followed, donning a demeanour of disinterest. Noting this, Shizuru merely smirked and closed the door behind them. The room itself was fairly small, housing a small table with a lamp, some paperwork and some stationary. A wooden chair sat under the table and nearby were two metal lockers. There was a long wooden bench against one wall with a large comfortable-looking blanket folded atop it. There was an alcove set into another wall that led into a small shower room. She guessed this was the club leader's office, which would make it Shizuru's, though she wasn't sure how many clubs convened here.
Shizuru crossed the room and opened the left hand locker, turning back to Natsuki once that was done. She stepped forwards closing the distance quickly and waited. Natsuki shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, red orbs burning into her. That look made the heat rise under her skin. "W-what?" She cursed herself for stuttering. Why couldn't she ever gain immunity from that look.
Shizuru smiled her first fully genuine smile since Natsuki had arrived. It held a great many things within it and she was happy that it was just for her. "Natsuki is meant to be helping me." She said cheerfully.
Heat rose up to the biker's cheeks and she quickly stepped around Shizuru to hide the blush. She was standing around like an idiot. Why did Shizuru always do that to her? She surveyed the armour, quickly ascertaining how they were fastened to the slim body beneath them. She decided to start with the shin guards first and knelt down beside Shizuru, her hands moving to the armour. As she removed those, the pleated pants fell away from the other woman's legs and she could tell they were quite baggy. She placed the two items to one side and she could feel crimson eyes upon her but she didn't look up.
Next, she moved onto the gloves. "I don't think you need my help for these." She complained though her tone held no hint of agitation. Shizuru merely chuckled, her mirth causing chestnut strands to dance around her face and over her shoulders. Natsuki pulled at the armour and it slipped off, her fingers unintentionally dragging against the skin of the other woman's wrist and palm. Her well-trained ear picked up Shizuru's hitched breath but she ignored it, continuing on to the other hand. The sound of the other woman's quickening breaths were soon drowned out by the pumping of blood through her own ears, as if it was trying to make her oblivious to what was going on around her. She swallowed, her throat suddenly becoming dry. What's wrong with me?
She placed the pair of gloves next to the shin guards and then eyed Shizuru. That calm expression remained on her face, but her gaze was averted this time, focused on the wall ahead of her. Only the armour at her waist and chest remained and those would probably be the most difficult to remove. In more ways than one, she found herself thinking. She stepped forwards and searched for the fastenings on both pieces. "You could help me, you know." Natsuki scoffed.
Shizuru turned her head to look her in the eye. "Where's the fun in that?" She asked with a devious smirk, one Natsuki recognised all too well.
Deciding to concentrate on her task, she turned her attention to the chest armour. At a guess, it appeared to be bamboo and lacquered too. There was a pattern etched into it and it looked pretty expensive. It was certainly of better quality than those of Shizuru's students. There appeared to be three ties to this piece, one at each shoulder at one at the small of the back. Not wanting to damage it in any way, she set about removing it as carefully as possible. Her nimble fingers made short work of the knot at Shizuru's back and she slid the dark cloth out of the way. She moved her hands up to the tie at the right shoulder. Grasping the chest plate with one hand, she untied the knot with the other. Then she moved onto the final tie and expertly undid that one aswell. The armour dropped into her hand and the weight of it surprised her. It was quite light yet solid. She stepped around Shizuru, stretching her other arm out to grip the opposite side of the chest piece. The older woman shivered slightly as Natsuki's arm grazed her chest.
Natsuki placed the item carefully with the others and returned to stand in front of Shizuru, eyeing the final piece of armour suspiciously. She hadn't been able to figure out where the ties on this one was. It didn't help that she was constantly being distracted by the now heaving chest of the other woman. What's up with her? She grumbled in her head, more annoyed because her eyes were being drawn to it. She focused on the waist armour for a moment, noting that the flap in the centre held Shizuru's name and what she guessed to be the name of the dojo. Slightly smaller flaps flanked that one, providing ample protection for the legs and groin. "So how do I get this off?" She asked, not looking up at Shizuru's face now.
Shizuru's right hand moving caught her attention and it made a motion which caused Natsuki's cheeks to flare up with embarrassment. She was pointing to the centre flap. "There." Was all Shizuru said, her voice even. How could she do this to her? Damn you, Shizuru.
"There's no way I'm... No. There's no way. You can reach down there yourself." Natsuki huffed, her arms folding tightly over her chest. She turned her head to the side in a sorry attempt to hide her blushing face.
"Ara, Natsuki doesn't want to help me?" Came the feigned hurt she'd come to expect at this point in their interaction. No matter how many times she told herself she was teasing her, it still caused a sinking feeling in her chest. She pushed down the sensation, her embarrassment outweighing that at the time being. After a few moments she heard a heavy breath come from the other woman. "Alright, I'll do it." The resigned tone in her voice was even more crushing than the feigned hurt as she knew this one was real.
Natsuki dropped her arms to her sides and sighed. "Fine. I'll do it." She rolled her eyes and knelt down in front of her friend. She looked up into that crimson gaze and saw a hint of amusement, along with something else she'd seen before but hadn't been able to name yet. She'd often thought of asking what Shizuru thought when she saw that in her eyes but knew she'd get an evasive response. There wasn't much point in trying to get something out of the Kyoto woman unless she wanted to offer it freely. Shizuru shifted her feet slightly, spreading her legs to give Natsuki better access. The burning heat in the biker's face flared up at that thought.
Why do I keep thinking like this? What the heck is wrong with me? Now staring at the flap, she reached out and tentatively pulled it upwards to see what was behind it. The curve of Shizuru's thighs were masked a little by the pants but because of the black cloth tied at where her legs met, she got a clear indication on what was beneath the clothing. Natsuki was sure she was going to pass out with the amount of blood that was rushing to her head. It didn't help that her head was level with Shizuru's groin either at this point, her face all too near for her liking. Swallowing hard, she lifted her free hand and wrapped her fingers around part of the thin cloth, her knuckles brushing the pants and she could feel the heat of Shizuru beneath them.
She sharply pulled on the material, satisfied when the knot yielded, loosening the grip the ties had on Shizuru's waist. She could see now that it was wrapped once around her slim form. She reached around her hips with her other hand, allowing the waist armour to rest on her shoulder for now so it wouldn't fall to the ground when she freed it. Leaning in a little too close, she reached behind Shizuru and pulled on the thin piece of cloth. Her fingers fell to the curve of the other woman's behind when the armour dropped onto her, released at last from its hold. If it hadn't been for the item between her and Shizuru she would have found her cheek resting against her belly right now.
Natsuki quickly shot backwards, the armour falling into her arms and looked up at Shizuru's face. Her head was tilted to the side, her eyes shut and her lower lip was held firmly between her teeth. There was even a slight tint of pink colouring her cheeks. Oh Shizuru, why do you do this to yourself? She inwardly asked, sadly. But then it hit her. Natsuki was really the one doing this to her. She could have quite easily removed the armour in a less invasive manner but, even if it was sub-consciously, she had chosen to do it the way she had. Shizuru certainly didn't force me. Why did I do that then?
"S-sorry." She stuttered out. That was the only thing she could think of to say with the way her mind was whirling right now.
Crimson orbs found hers and she was sure she could see shame hidden beneath their swirling depths. Shizuru turned and walked back to her locker. "Ookini, Natsuki." She muttered, her voice quieter than usual.
Natsuki shook her head. Why do you continue to feel ashamed of how you feel? She really wished she had the courage to speak these questions aloud. She was being a bit hypocritical in thinking that though. Didn't she feel ashamed of her own feelings? How do I really feel? Gah, why is this so hard to figure out? She stood and placed the armour with the others before walking over to where Shizuru stood at her locker.
The older woman reached up with a hand and grasped the white cloth bound around her upper left arm, her head slightly lowered and her eyes focused on something within the locker. She tugged on the cloth and it unwound, freeing the sleeve of the shirt she wore. Natsuki recognised the type of clothing; it resembled a kimono shirt in the manner it was worn and tied. She watched with fascination as the wide sleeve slid down, hiding smooth creamy flesh as it went. It finally came to rest just at the slender wrist, above delicate hands and long fingers. She found herself staring at that hand, unable to tear her gaze away and was glad when it reached up to free the other sleeve, disappearing around the other side of Shizuru's body.
Attempting to distract herself, she leaned forwards and peered into the locker, her eyes scanning the small place quickly. There wasn't much inside it. There were some articles of clothing; trousers, a sleeveless top, a sweater, shoes, and to Natsuki's embarrassment and curiosity - underwear. Doesn't she wear any under those clothes? She found herself thinking which only furthered the heights of her embarrassment. Images flashed into her mind and she became acutely aware of how close to Shizuru she was standing.
"Ara, if Natsuki wanted to know what bra I was wearing today she could have just asked." Came the Kyoto woman's teasing voice.
Natsuki's face flushed further and she snapped her head around to glare at her tormentor. She immediately regretted the action though as she found herself only inches away from Shizuru's face. The first thing to come to her was the sweet scent of Shizuru, the smell reminiscent of green tea and the armour she had just removed. Then came the even sweeter scent of her breath as it brushed against her face, bringing every nerve under her skin to attention. She became aware of the heat emanating from the other woman's body and the smouldering warmth filled her, fanning her own temperature. Her pulse quickened, adding to the speed at which the blood filled her cheeks and her stomach fluttered nervously.
Her emerald gaze settled upon burning red, the emotions beneath them becoming all too clear to Natsuki. Realisation hit her and she found herself knowing exactly what it was she saw there. That carnal desire, that raw need, that uninhibited yearning for someone else, to feel them close, to be able to touch them. And she saw the engulfing sorrow in those crimson pools aswell. The sadness of desiring so much but never being able to have. Her chest felt as though it were being crushed. Why do I have to realise this now? Why couldn't I have acknowledged it and saved Shizuru all this pain? Why have I always been so damn selfish? The questions burned at her but that fear remained, the terror of being hurt, of being abandoned.
And then she saw a flicker of something else. What was it? Hope? It was a small glimmer but it was there, forcing everything else away and it wanted to pull her in, to allow her to take away all that pain Shizuru felt. And she saw it die as she pulled away, the light dulling as quickly as it had come. She turned away and walked to the table, wanting to lean on it but she merely stood there. She felt as though she couldn't breathe. Why does this have to be so hard? Why can't I just tell her that what she feels is okay... that I... feel it too? Do I? She let out a forced sigh. Emotion was so damn confusing and she found she could never find an answer, no matter how many questions she asked.
The pain from the woman behind her was almost palpable. She couldn't turn to look at her, she couldn't see that look in her eyes any more. She wanted so badly to take it away and she knew she had the power to do so. Yet another thing that tore at her heart. She tried to steady her breathing, the close proximity of the two had really thrown her body into turmoil. At least she was beginning to understand the reason for that now. Perhaps she always had but hadn't been ready to accept it, she mused.
The sound of footsteps behind her alerted her to Shizuru's movement but she didn't turn. She was still trying to force the reddened tint from her face. Slender arms slid around her waist and she stiffened slightly at the unexpected touch. Even through her leathers, she could feel the heat of the other woman. She felt Shizuru's body press into her back and she became acutely aware of the softness of her breasts through the clothing. She relaxed a little into the embrace but her mind was quickly falling into incoherent thought. One of Shizuru's hands lay flat against her stomach, the contact leaving a searing heat. The throbbing between her legs that she'd been trying to ignore was steadily increasing, driving her to distraction.
Strands of chestnut fell into her line of sight and a smooth cheek slid against her own for a moment, fully returning the blush she had worked so hard to push down. Then she felt a heat against her ear, causing a shiver to shoot down her spine. "Kanin na." Came the breathy words, eliciting another shiver.
"Eh?" The surprisingly unintelligent response made Natsuki cringe. Shizuru was always so good at making her lose control over her faculties.
There was a momentary squeeze of her waist and then more breath against her ear. "I didn't mean to make Natsuki uncomfortable." The tone was light but she could hear the undertones of sadness and shame. She could pick those hidden emotions out of her friend's words more and more lately.
"Y-you didn't!" She said quickly, not wanting to hear those emotions in Shizuru's voice ever again.
A small chuckle erupted in her ear and she could feel the other woman's body vibrate behind her, only adding to the sensations coursing through her body. "Then this doesn't upset Natsuki?" The teasing tone accompanied by applied pressure on her stomach by the flat hand against it.
"No." She squeaked, cursing her own vocal chords for not complying with the cool demeanour she wanted to portray.
The arms against her midsection snaked further around her, pulling her in tightly against the form behind her, her bottom fitting perfectly into the groove where thigh met hip on Shizuru. She let out a small gasp, feeling a searing heat shoot down to the pit of her stomach. "You don't have to pretend for me, Natsuki." The teasing tone was gone, replaced with a mixture of heavy desire and sorrow.
The hand on her stomach released its grip and the fingertips began to trace heated patterns over the top of her leathers, burning their way up to her sternum. She clenched her jaw to stop the moan that wanted to break from her throat. The breathing in her ear was now coming in short, sharp exhales and she found herself wondering why Shizuru would put herself through this. "If... if you're trying to... prove a point..." Natsuki struggled to form the sentence. "Just stop it." She managed weakly. The fingers at her chest stopped their journey, frozen in place and the arm around her waist released its grip. She couldn't feel the air on her ear any more. Either Shizuru had pulled away or she was holding her breath. "You're just hurting yourself, Shizuru." She murmured, the sadness seeping into her own voice now.
A gush of air flowing over the side of her face told her Shizuru had released her breath and she felt the other woman pull away, her presence replaced by cool air that chilled her. She instantly missed the contact. "Kanin..." She heard Shizuru's voice crack and she immediately turned, the shock of it propelling her around to look at her friend.
Chestnut locks fell down and hung around her face as she dipped her head, avoiding Natsuki's concerned emerald eyes. She was sure she could see those elegant shoulders shake slightly but there were no tears in those half hidden eyes. She wanted to reach out and embrace her, soothe all her worries and doubts and troubles. Why don't I? She couldn't really come up with a convincing argument against it but still she stood there, watching her friend suffer. She searched her mind for something to say, anything that would help but nothing came and she felt so helpless. But something at the back of her mind kept prodding her, telling her there was something she could do. And she knew it.
Finally, Shizuru lifted her head and pained crimson met unsure emerald, their gazes locking. She couldn't stand it, couldn't stand seeing the suffering behind those eyes. Every time she saw it, it was as though she was being stabbed through the chest. Her own selfishness was not only causing Shizuru pain but herself too. An internal conflict raged and she quickly came to a decision. Sometimes you just had to risk it. Risk it all on something that was important to you. My precious thing. The thought caused her to surge forwards and she registered the surprise in those crimson eyes as she wrapped her arms around Shizuru's waist, pulling her into a tight embrace.
She rested her head under Shizuru's chin and the beating of the other woman's heart resounded in her ear. The pace was almost erratic and painfully fast. "Na... tsuki?" Came the uncertain voice of her friend, a tone that rarely tarnished it. She didn't reply, she merely tightened her grip on the slender waist in her arms and she felt the tense muscles there relax. Then she felt a hand slip into her hair, fingernails brushing against her scalp, causing her to shudder slightly. A cheek followed the hand, nuzzling into the black strands, causing a smile to tug at the corners of Natsuki's mouth. A small tugging of a few strands of her hair told her that Shizuru's other hand was playing with a few of the locks that fell down her back. In that moment, all the worries melted away and it felt as though it was just the two of them in the world and all that mattered was that they held on to one another.
"I'm sorry, Shizuru..." She murmured into the other woman's chest. The tugging at her hair stopped for a moment but soon continued. Perhaps she'd have to say more. Shizuru usually understood what she meant, even if she hadn't said anything but she'd never spoken of this before and trying to persuade a heart that had locked itself away that it was alright to feel might be a bit harder. Of course, the problem was trying to explain exactly what she felt to her, she wasn't exactly good with words when it came to her feelings. "I've been so selfish." She settled on saying.
A harder tug on her hair forced her to tilt her head upwards and she felt as though she was drowning in a sea of crimson. That pain was still there though and she wanted to squeeze her eyes shut, to close it out. "Don't say such things." Natsuki followed the movement of those full pink lips as the saddened words spilled over them.
Her brow furrowed a little as she tried to think of more words to explain what she meant. The hand that had been playing with the hair at her back now tentatively poked at her forehead, a finger smoothing out the creases that had appeared there. Ignoring the action, Natsuki concentrated on voicing her thoughts. "I've always left you to suffer silently. And alone." The guilt clung to her words and she didn't try to hide it. The prodding finger paused and long lashes fell over a mirror of red, hiding that pain for a moment.
The hand at her forehead dropped down slightly and she could feel uncertain fingers brush against the skin of her cheek. Her own eyes fluttered shut at the touch. "It's okay, Natsuki. That's something I'm willing to bear." Natsuki was surprised at the honest answer, she had expected an evasive response.
"You shouldn't have to." She breathed, leaning into the fingers at her cheek, pushing the heated flesh into a welcoming palm. She opened her eyes to see teeth grabbing at that bottom lip again.
"If it's the only way I can be with Natsuki then yes, I do." Her tone had deepened and there was a firmness there now, a hint of determination. Her heart fluttered in her chest at the words, elated that Shizuru wanted to be with her and saddened that she felt she had to suffer to do so.
Natsuki pressed her lips together in a thin line, frustrated that Shizuru wasn't getting what she was meaning. Why couldn't she just come out and say it? "I..." She trailed off before she could even begin. Nervous flapping in her stomach made her feel a little dizzy and the blood was rushing to her cheeks at an alarming rate. She pressed herself against the body in her arms for comfort, eliciting a dull gasp from Shizuru, their bodies so close now she could feel every curve of the other woman. Her eyes fell to the slightly parted lips in front of her, a sheen of moistness covering them. "I don't want you to suffer... ever again." She heard herself saying though she hadn't even realised her mouth was moving.
Hot breath brushed over her face and she could tell Shizuru's pulse had quickened. Still her gaze was settled on those lips and they were becoming increasingly alluring. Why had she never allowed herself to feel like this before? It was so intoxicating. A gentle thumb grazed against the skin of her cheek and repeated its circular motion over and over, leaving a tingling sensation in its wake. She glanced up at the other woman's eyes and they were as focused on her lips as she had been on hers. Her belly did another flip as she realised Shizuru was thinking about kissing her. Instead of leaning in though, she spoke, her gaze never leaving Natsuki's mouth. "Please... don't do anything silly...for my sake." The words were forced and Natsuki could tell she was having problems keeping a calm exterior.
Why is she still trying to play the martyr? Gah, she's an idiot sometimes! Her mind screamed out. "B-baka... What about... for my sake?" She uttered softly, her voice almost coming out as a whisper but from the way Shizuru's eyes widened slightly she could tell she had heard her.
There was that flicker of hope again, burning a little brighter this time. Natsuki let a small smile lighten her features at that. She wasn't going to let it be snuffed out this time. Her gaze trailed down to those full lips once more, watching as the tip of Shizuru's tongue darted out for a moment and then disappeared again, leaving the pink lips glistening. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight and she thought she might have a heart attack if they kept this up. The seconds drew on and she lost all sense of time, feeling as though an eternity was stretching between them, their poses locked. She tilted her head up further, baring her face fully to the other woman.
The hand in her hair gripped tighter around black strands and pressed against her scalp, forcing her face closer to Shizuru's. Her pulse quickened and she found herself holding her breath. She watched as those lips drew closer and closer before she let her eyelids fall. Short, sharp breath on her own lips told her Shizuru was only inches away and she could feel the heat of her body even more so now. Finally, she released her own breath and as soon as she had she felt soft, warm lips against her own. Her mind shut down and she could only concentrate on her senses. The scent of Shizuru, the sound of her mouth against hers, the taste of the other woman's lips and the feel of the moistness of them. She felt as though her legs were like jelly and she was worried they'd give out at any moment.
All too soon, Shizuru pulled back and Natsuki opened her eyes, taking in the other woman's flushed cheeks, dilated pupils and heaving chest. The colour of her eyes had considerably darkened too and her eyelids dropped to half cover them. Her own breathing was heavy and she had to concentrate to slow it. They'd kissed before but certainly not like that.
It left her breathless.
"Na-tsu-ki..." Shizuru breathed, every syllable of her name rolling off her tongue in a surge of desperate need. She shuddered at the tone, and she pressed the flat of her hands into Shizuru's back, squeezing their bodies together further.
Whatever walls the other woman had remaining came crashing down at that point and every emotion was laid bare in those ruddy deep pools. It was almost overwhelming to look upon but Natsuki was happy that Shizuru wasn't hiding for once, that she could see the real her. Shizuru leaned forwards and captured her lips once more, this time the urgency she had held back before was obvious. Her mouth moved against hers with barely concealed desperation and lip mashed against lip. The hand at her cheek slid down and against the sensitive skin of her neck, leaving tremors in its wake. A low guttural moan rose up from Shizuru's throat and a burning heat rose up within Natsuki.
She felt herself being pushed backwards, her feet blindly stumbling until she felt something solid against the back of her legs. The pair nearly tumbled over at the sudden obstacle but Natsuki's strength managed to keep them upright. A tongue darted out and slid against her bottom lip, causing more shivers to overtake her body. She parted her lips instinctively, allowing the probing tongue access to her mouth. She whimpered slightly at the needy touches and caresses of it, receiving another moan in response from Shizuru. She reached out with her own tongue, shockwaves coursing through her body as it met and danced with Shizuru's.
The feeling of something wet on the heated skin of her cheek caused her to pull back from the kiss, her head spinning. Her eyes skimmed over the flushed features before her and she was surprised to see tears in Shizuru's eyes. Either she didn't notice them or she didn't care because she simply yanked on the hair at the back of Natsuki's head, effectively forcing her head back and exposing the creamy skin of her neck. Natsuki then felt searing lips on her throat followed by the flicker of tongue and teeth as they made their way around to the sensitive area under her ear. Another whimper escaped from her mouth which only increased the intensity of the kisses on her neck.
The hand left its place in her hair and she felt fingers slipping under her waist length leather jacket, at the shoulder. Using the back of her hand as leverage, Shizuru soon slid the jacket off Natsuki's shoulders and down her arms, finally letting it fall to the floor. Now there was no obstacle to her neck, Shizuru continued her ministrations on the skin there. In the blaze of incoherent thought, Natsuki couldn't help but think it was all going too fast but couldn't bring herself to care much about it, her body winning over her head in this case.
Her own hands were now grabbing fistfuls of the back of Shizuru's kimono shirt, tugging at it but not making much progress. Shizuru puffed against her neck as the older woman's hands wandered from their place on her arms, over her shoulders and down her back. Involuntarily, she arched her back, pushing her hips against Shizuru's and she heard her gasp against her jaw line which she was now nipping at. And then she claimed her mouth again, moist lips clashing in a heated kiss that clouded her mind further. Shizuru's hands moved around to the front of her one-piece leather suit and settled on her stomach, fingers splayed out. In a tantalising motion, she flitted over the smooth material, only hard enough so Natsuki could barely feel it. Her fingers roamed upwards, hovering over her ribs and gripped her sides, pulling her towards the other woman once more.
Shizuru's tongue dipped in and out of Natsuki's mouth, tormenting her to the point where she roughly pulled at the material she was grasping, tugging it free from the pants it had been tucked into. The older woman leaned forwards, pressing her chest against Natsuki, forcing both of them backwards until the biker was almost sat upon the table behind her. The action forced one of her legs to twitch upwards and it slid in between both of Shizuru's, coming to rest at her groin and causing her to gasp loudly. The intense heat against her thigh made Natsuki acutely aware of their positioning but she didn't pull away, instead she moved her own hands under the white fabric, yearning to feel the skin beneath it. When her fingers touched the flushed skin of Shizuru's back, the other woman shuddered, deepening the kiss further and with more desperation.
One of Shizuru's hands slapped against the metallic table to support her weight, the other one sliding up and over the curve of Natsuki's breast. She felt a moan erupt from the back of her throat as she threw her head backwards, the surge of sensations she felt were all too new and overwhelming for her. Shizuru's lips found her neck again, not wanting to stop their heated worship of Natsuki's body. Shifting their positions slightly, Shizuru used her supportive hand to grab the toned muscle of Natsuki's backside, quickly pulling her hips towards hers again until a thigh was firmly pressed against the apex of her legs. Air hissed out through Natsuki's clenched teeth, the onslaught of pleasurable feelings causing her to squeeze her eyes shut. Now half-standing, half-sitting, she pressed her fingers into the flesh of Shizuru's back, fingernails trailing against the skin there as she dragged her hands in a downwards motion.
The body pressing firmly against hers convulsed at her touch and she felt the breath at her neck come in short bursts, disjointed sounds accompanying them from time to time. The hand on her breast skimmed upwards, sending a shock of pleasure downwards, until it reached the zip of her motorcycle leathers. She took a deep breath in and she waited in anticipation, nerves starting to surface once more. She half expected Shizuru to pull the zipper down slow and teasingly, dragging out the anxiety as much as she could but she didn't. Instead, she yanked on the fastener, quickly pulling it all the way down to her pelvis. In the next moment, she slid her left hand inside the protective garment and eager fingers brushed across the silky skin that covered Natsuki's ribs.
Clad only in her underwear beneath the leathers, it didn't take Shizuru long to find the black lacy material and she cupped her hand over the swell of her right breast. "Shi..." Natsuki heard her own voice but didn't recognise the low, husky tone. "... zuru..." The other woman lifted her head, gazing down at Natsuki's face with hungry eyes. The complete and utter need held within their depths made Natsuki's breath catch and it felt strange knowing that someone wanted her so much. Becoming uncharacteristically impatient, Shizuru pushed Natsuki further onto the table until she was sitting on the edge of it and ducked her head down to kiss the revealed flesh at her collar bone. Sliding both legs in between Natsuki's, Shizuru brought her hands up to her shoulders once more and peeled off the leathers, the cool air on her skin leaving goosebumps.
Shizuru pulled the leathers off her arms and abandoned them at Natsuki's waist. Her fingers then fluttered against the bared skin, leaving a trail of ice and fire all the way up to her bra. She traced the outline of it, breaking the contact between mouth and collarbone to gaze down at her handy work. Natsuki saw her pupils dilate even further, almost completely blotting out the crimson around them. Heat engulfed her face at that stare, those eyes roaming her body and she couldn't help thinking how unfair it was that Shizuru wasn't in the same state of undress. I'll just have to even the odds.
Natsuki's hands began to wander from their spot at Shizuru's back and they found the tie at the rear of Shizuru's hakama. She fumbled with the knot for a few moments before smirking with satisfaction when it dropped away from the slender waist. She found the cord of the tie again and unwrapped it from Shizuru's waist, feeling the hakama's grip on the other woman's hips weaken. Realising what was happening, Shizuru blinked rapidly, apparently coming out of the haze she had been in a little. Her eyes were still heavily hooded and she smiled seductively at Natsuki. Her belly somersaulted at the vision.
Taking the opportunity, the younger girl pulled on the white material that was tucked into the black hakama and it slid out easily, loosening at the front. She slid her hands up over the smooth material and watched as Shizuru shuddered under her fingers when they reached the curve of her full breasts. Grasping the hem of the shirt, she yanked on it, pulling it open to reveal pale skin and a white bra. Before she could explore that inviting flesh though, Shizuru's hands found her wrists and pulled them away. Natsuki looked up into dark crimson in shock, wondering why she'd been stopped. Behind the desire she saw a hint of mischief. Shizuru pushed her further back, sliding her against the table, sending papers scattering to the floor. She inhaled suddenly as the skin of her back came into contact with the cool stone of the wall. Shizuru leaned forwards, trapping Natsuki's arms above her head against the wall.
"Don't try to distract me now." Shizuru murmured into her ear, the deep beguiling tone causing her to tremble slightly. She struggled feebly against the other woman's hands but with Shizuru's lips now assaulting her ear and neck she felt considerably weakened. Teeth grazed her throat as hands slid agonisingly slow down the skin of her arms. She let out at frustrated groan as her body began to demand more and she let her hands fall limply to her sides.
The awkwardness of their position didn't escape Natsuki and she wondered how Shizuru was keeping her placement above her. The table wasn't all that large but it was enough so she could sit on it and have her legs hanging over the edge of it. All ponderings hurriedly ceased when she felt a hand slip between her and the wall and deftly unclip her bra. Her eyes widened at the skill in which Shizuru had undone the piece of lingerie one handed. Fingernails scraped against her skin as they journeyed from her back, over her shoulder and pulled one black strap down an arm. She shivered, her heart beating impossibly fast, at the touch. Lips quickly claimed her own again, tongue searching for tongue. She felt the other strap being pulled and the bra was laid to one side, surprisingly carefully.
Shizuru pulled back once more, her eyes darting down to where Natsuki's breasts now rose and fell quickly. Without hesitation she dropped down and captured a small pink bud between her lips, causing Natsuki to let out a surprised and aroused cry. A tongue darted out and flicked over that bud, sending a shockwave down to her center, heating and fanning the desire that was collecting there. She pushed her head against the wall, glad for the solid obstacle. She clenched her teeth together to stop any more moans from escaping her mouth. A hand cupped her other breast, kneading the flesh there and building the torrent of electricity that surged through her body, bringing every nerve to life.
The free hand was now burning a path down across the tense muscles of her stomach. Shizuru turned her attention to the other breast, her lips closing around the erect nipple, eliciting another bout of tremors from its owner. The hand that had made its home there previously now supported the older woman's weight upon the table. As her tongue went about tracing the outside of the areola, her hand dipped down further, coming to the leather of her garments. Fingertips slid under the tight material, down to the first knuckle before pausing and Shizuru lifted her head. Natsuki met the other woman's gaze, a hive of nerves fluttering in her stomach. Red honed in on green and she hoped Shizuru wouldn't ask her for permission to continue as she didn't know what her answer would be. Instead, the Kyoto beauty pressed her lips against Natsuki's, chasing all uncertain thoughts away.
Even with the distraction, Natsuki's senses honed in on the slightest movement of Shizuru's hand. The fingertips twitched at the smooth skin under her leathers and she let out a whimper into the other woman's mouth. Apparently taking that as her cue, Shizuru pushed her hand further into the depths of Natsuki's clothing, long dextrous fingers dipping beneath black lace and into dark curls. Pausing for only a moment to revel in the feel, the hand delved deeper and fingertips brushed against damp hairs and sensitive skin. Natsuki gasped as Shizuru kissed her way across a cheek and down her jaw line.
A single finger tentatively curled around and slipped in between slick lips, eliciting a low moan from Shizuru. "So wet..." She breathed into Natsuki's ear, the hot air sending spikes of pleasure down her body to meet the sensations she was feeling between her legs. Her cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink at the words but she pushed her embarrassment away. That same finger, gaining in confidence, ran the length of her center before flicking over the small bundle of nerves nestled within. Natsuki's hips jutted upwards at the contact and she called out, her voice unusually high pitched. Shizuru focused her efforts on that nub, watching as Natsuki writhed and squirmed beneath her.
"Uhn..." The meaningless sound escaped Natsuki's lips moments before they were caught in a heated kiss. The sliding of lips and the probing of tongues quelled any further moans. Realising her arms were actually working, Natsuki reached around Shizuru with her right arm and buried her hand in chestnut strands, pulling her deeper into the kiss. Her other hand clawed fruitlessly at the table, for anything to hold on to. In a torturous routine, Shizuru's finger flicked over her clit and dipped, trailing the length of the groove there but not yet entering, instead sliding back up and over the bundle of nerves again. Over and over this continued.
Natsuki's hips rocked ever so slightly, her body taking over complete control of her actions now. Her mind had long since shut down, knowing all too well that thought would only hold back the pleasure that was flooding her being. As the cruel teasing went on, her pelvis' movements became more and more jerky and extended, begging to feel Shizuru inside of her. The older woman licked at the parted lips under her and occasionally dipped inside to taste the sweet warmth there. Natsuki whimpered at Shizuru, the torment becoming too much for her. Although she had never felt like this before, her body seemed to know what it wanted and right now it wanted release.
"Natsuki..." Her name was whispered and she barely heard it as Shizuru's fore finger plunged inside her. It remained there, still while she grew accustomed to it and she realised she had been holding her breath. She let a ragged one out, losing focus on the world around her as the finger slid out of her tightness once more. Again, there came a pause. She grasped the hair in her hand tighter, attempting to wordlessly tell Shizuru that she wanted... needed more. She brought her other hand over and grabbed a handful of chestnut locks, pulling Shizuru in for another kiss.
As she took Shizuru's tongue into her mouth and sucked on it, her right hand scraped down against the loose material of the kimono shirt and found its way inside, feeling the curve of the other woman's breast. Shizuru shuddered against her supple fingers, responding by thrusting her own finger inside her once more, with more force this time. Natsuki bit down on the full lip between her teeth receiving a huffed breath in reply. She could feel her own dew seeping out onto Shizuru's hand, coating her fingers, allowing her to pump into her faster and harder.
Natsuki's back arched and she rocked her hips back and forth in a mesmerising motion, setting the pace for her lover. She squeezed the creamy mound in her hand, the erect nipple straining against her palm. Soon, Shizuru added another finger, eliciting a moan of pleasure and slight discomfort from Natsuki who squeezed her eyes shut tightly, her senses amalgamating on those digits.
"Shi... zuru..." She gasped out. "Ngh..." Sounds continued to spill from her as the pace quickened. She felt those two fingers stroke her inner walls, brushing briefly against a particularly sensitive spot deep inside before sweeping back out, and then sliding back in. A high pitched buzzing sound reached her ears as she tossed her head to the side, her mouth hanging agape.
Shizuru was pumping into her with increased fervour, the muscles in her arm tensing and relaxing quickly, a sheen of perspiration coating her body, making it seem as though she was glowing. Natsuki swung her head to the other side, glimpsing the intense look in Shizuru's eyes as she gazed down upon her. The other woman's breath was laboured and she was aware of her own coming out unevenly and with a lot of force. She could feel something building within her, an invisible force building in the pit of her stomach. She had no idea what it was but she knew it was good.
Shizuru leaned in close, pushing her cheek against Natsuki's as her fingers continued their onslaught, the base of her palm slapping off of the younger woman's pubic bone, causing shockwaves of pleasure to surge from the bundle of nerves. Natsuki pushed back against Shizuru's cheek, feeling hot breath puff against her ear accompanied by low whimpers. The overwhelming sensation in her lower torso continued to build, becoming stronger and larger the more Shizuru's fingers brushed against her insides and the more her palm pressed against her clit. Her hands had fallen back to her sides, the arms rigid and fists clenching and unclenching as she started to lose control.
She felt herself coming to a precipice and staring down at a delightfully bottomless pit. She cared not for how long she would fall and if she would ever return for she would go willingly, because Shizuru was taking her there. Her senses went into freefall and her mind spun mercilessly. The surging, climbing sensation within her built to the point of no return and she felt her body begin to convulse. She was vaguely aware of disjointed murmurs coming from her mouth and she guessed Shizuru sensed the change within her too as she intensified her efforts, shimmying closer so their bodies fully touched.
The rhythmic pulse of Shizuru's fingers against that sweet spot within her finally pushed her over the edge and she clamped down on the digits, her senses following suit. An eruption of warmth and ecstasy washed over her, forced from that point deep within her gut and her entire body tensed while waves of pleasure pushed her body into convulsions. Shizuru held her tightly to her chest with her left arm whilst continuing to caress her smooth inner walls, stretching out the orgasm and eventually bringing her down slowly.
When cognisance returned to her, Natsuki at first thought she was blind. Then the cloud embracing her mind began to lift and her vision started to clear. She immediately experienced a giddy feeling and felt compelled to giggle and cry at the same time yet she remained silent. Only the sound of her quick breaths filled her ears. Her entire body tingled and dull waves of warmth radiated from her pelvis. She then became aware of heat against her body and sight returned to her, revealing the form of a smiling Shizuru. Stray strands of chestnut hung her face, others stuck to her forehead from perspiration. Her crimson eyes held many things, the most overwhelming of all was fondness. Her cheeks were flushed a dark pink and her full lips were swollen.
Natsuki's muscles felt completely useless and no matter how many times she commanded them, they refused to obey. They were no better than jelly now and they felt very much like it. She resigned herself to the fate of lying on the hard metallic table top in the arms of the woman who had taken her to the heights of ecstasy and back again. I can be content with that, she thought.
A slight throb from between her legs registered the only discomfort in her body but it was a small price to pay for what she had just experienced, she decided. She nuzzled her face into the neck of the woman beside her, murmuring happily against the pale, smooth skin there. Shizuru brought a hand up to stroke the midnight tresses that had splayed out against the table.
"I love you." Shizuru whispered into her hair but Natsuki heard it clearly, the words pulling at her heart but not enveloping her in guilt and sadness as they had before. She felt she had seen a glimpse of that today.
Not today... but soon, Shizuru... I'm sure... you will hear those words too... soon.
END OF FOR YOU
Author's Note: As I said at the beginning, my original intention was to make this series totally smut. Once I started writing, however, a semblance of plot wormed its way into it and I felt as though I had to deal with their emotions too. This 'chapter' is designed to stand on its own but can be considered part of a series too. More stories will come after this and they'll follow just the one timeline so I'll add them as chapters. I do intend on them being mainly smut with a hint of plot. So don't expect too much from them. Hehe. Also, I'm going to be writing them when I'm not in the mood for my other stories, which seems to be more and more these days but ah well. One genre's loss is another's gain right? Oh, and the reason I even considered writing this series is because there is not enough Shiznat smut out there! Hear that Shiznat authors? Get out there and write some! (Will there ever be enough?)
Special Thanks: To my girlfriend, Yvonne who kindly named the series for me. To M-chan \ Azn-anime who is my loyal beta-chan and gave me the title for this individual story - she also helped keep me awake during the many times I could have just fallen into bed whilst writing this. To Diana \ 808tenshi who confirmed I should write this thing in the first place, though you're probably not even aware you motivated me.