Marlene managed to keep Lily quiet until she brought her back to their dormitory. As soon as they got there, Lily began shouting.
"How could he? What was he thinking, agreeing to go out with that Lana? How could he possibly have forgetten that I'm the one he's been chasing after these past two years?"
"Well, you always did refuse him, remember? And he did finally stop asking you out towards the end of last year." Marlene replied reasonably. "Although I'm sure he was out of his mind when he said yes." She amended upon seeing Lily's glare.
"You know what?" Lily said quickly. "I'm going to make sure he regrets this."
"How are you going to do that?" Marlene asked, raising her eyebrows.
"Hex them?" Lily suggested tentatively.
"You're Head Girl, Lily. You can't do that." Marlene replied, exasperated.
"Board up the Three Broomsticks?"
"They'll just go somewhere else, Lily."
Lily stopped to think. "I'm going to make him jealous." She said determinedly.
"Hmm." Marlene said after a moment, nodding. "That could work."
"Who do you think will annoy James the most?" Lily asked with a frown. "NOT You-Know-Who!" She said, eyes flashing.
"Of course not." Marlene replied quickly. Severus Snape was an unmentionable when speaking to Lily.
Marlene thought about it, but unfortunately, very few people hated James. Even when he was an arrogant git who made a habit of hexing people who annoyed him, James had been very popular.
"I'm guessing you'd rather not date Avery and the rest of his crowd." Marlene said, glancing at her friend.
"Huh, that could be difficult."
They stayed silent for a few seconds.
"How about someone who can compete with James?" Marlene finally suggested. "Smart, popular, good-looking."
"Who do we know can compete with James?" Lily wailed as she slumped on her bed.
"Sirius Black," Marlene responded automatically as she patted her friend on the head. "He doesn't play quidditch, but he's much more handsome and just as smart and popular." Like most of the female population at Hogwarts, Marlene had a crush on Sirius. Not a deep crush but she wouldn't mind a snogging session with him just once to see if he really was that great of a kisser. "I know he's James's best friend and all, but if James really is over you, Sirius might agree to go on a date."
Lily looked up alarmed. She really didn't like the idea of James getting over her so completely that he would give his best friend his blessing. "I think I'd rather not find out." Said Lily. "Anyone else?"
"I think you'll have to go down a tier." Marlene said thoughtfully. "There's Quinn Corner, the Ravenclaw quidditch captain. I think he's better-looking than James, but on all other areas, Corner definitely can't compete. Anyways, he's single."
Lily considered this for a moment. Quinn was - nice. Very nice in fact. But Marlene was right. He was nothing compared to James! He wasn't as clever, he wasn't funny, he just wasn't James! Would he make James jealous though?
"Alright." She said heavily. "Corner it is then."
And thus, Lily set out on her quest to make James jealous.
Poor Lily. Why did James have to fall in love with her when he was a prat and fall out of love with her when he stopped being a prat?