AN: This is the start of my second series of Naruto Fan fictions. I wasn't originally going to upload this until I had finished with MIA, but it was knawing at me.
The inspiration came from a section in Chapter 367 of the Naruto Manga, where Tsunade and Jiraiya are talking about all sorts of things (I can't say for spoiler reasons) and basically, it gets to a part in the conversation where Tsunade is defending her belief that there are others in Konoha who could do just as good a job at being Hokage as she could, and thinks that she should be helping Jiraiya instead. They say that although, they feel Naruto wouldn't be ready to become Hokage, Kakashi was "a gimme".
This really amused me as my immediate thought was, "What in Kami's name did they drop that in for?", but then it got me thinking "but what if….?"
And from that moment of craziness, this bizarre collection of words and ideas has formed… most of which I got completely carried away on.
Just to clarify for anyone who has never experienced the wonder that is Izzi-chan's biscuit induced creativity fits, I have only been reading the Naruto Manga from Chapter 350, and have only seen the rare half episode of the anime so far, so everything I base in these stories is taken from the general consensus of fan fictions I have read. Hence, if you are going to criticize any characters for being OOC, don't yell at me, I'm only doing what I've been taught. (Well, except Sakura in this chapter- I know she's being OOC, it's a plot point).
On the point of Sakura I want to clarify something straight away, since people seem to be easily confused by it. Last time I checked, and correct me if I'm wrong, Sakura is talented but she is not the best Medic in the village. She is still Tsunade's apprentice, and only gets to work at the hospital because of that fact. Got it? Good.
Characters are not mine but everything I do to torture and twist them in their own universe is.
I reserve the right to claim no attachment to my own brain and so cannot be held responsible for any mental problems my author notes or stories may aggravate and/or cause.
Chapter 1: Broken dreams
Tsunade stood in front of the small gathering of shinobi and sighed. "I'm getting old. It may not look like it, but I am, and it is affecting me more than I care to admit most of the time. This job, it isn't mine and I know it. Right now, there are others who know much more about running this village than I do, especially seen as I haven't lived here in so long.
"I have talked this over many times with close colleagues, and we are mostly agreed. Now that the village has fully recovered from the last Hokage's tragic death, it's time I retire from the post of Hokage, and pass the position on to someone else."
Naruto's eyes went wide and sat up, desperately anticipating her next words.
She continued in a soft voice "I do regret that this is happening so soon, as it means that things cannot continue as they were supposed to. You will all be painfully aware that I named Naruto Uzumaki as my successor but, and I'm really sorry Naruto, we don't feel he is quite ready to take over yet."
There was a collective sigh of relief over most of the room at this revelation, which was immediately cut short as Naruto stormed out of the room, slamming the doors shut as he went. Everyone now held their breath awkwardly, knowing that he was likely to take this out on someone else as soon as the room emptied.
Kakashi stood up with a deep sigh of his own "I'll go and talk to him"
Before anyone could say a thing, he had taken off after Naruto and was following his trail out into a section of forest beside the Hokage tower.
The teenager was knelt on a low branch picking leaves off the tree angrily as he muttered to himself "Should have known she was just lying… she never thought I was good enough to be Hokage… stupid old lady…"
Kakashi positioned himself on a slightly higher branch of an adjacent tree and sat back comfortably against the trunk. "I'm pretty certain the tree didn't do anything to offend you"
Naruto glared up at him, probably just to assure identification, before staring back at the forest floor. "Shouldn't you be congratulating whatever bastard got Hokage instead?"
"There's no need. You need to understand why though, why you aren't."
"I suppose you're going to tell me…" he grumbled
"Not if you don't want me too" he shrugged and got his book out of his pocket. "I'm happy to sit here and read till you are done sulking like a girl"
Naruto stood and pouted up at him "I'm not sulking like a girl"
"Ok" Kakashi replied nonchalantly.
"Why don't you care? Shouldn't you be pissed that your student is getting overlooked all over again?"
"You aren't my student anymore. You aren't my problem."
"Fine then, oh wise one, why?"
"There's no need for flattery Naruto. I only need manners in payment for my services."
"Sure, and the free meals for two years had nothing to do with it?"
"That was as your sensei. We've covered this before; don't you ever listen to me?"
"No! And I don't intend to start now."
He put the book away and dropped to the ground beside him. "Naruto, did you think Tsunade was a good Hokage when you first knew her, and who she was?"
"No, you know I didn't" he crossed his arms over his chest.
"Exactly. She was a full jonin with over forty years of experience, and one of the legendary sennin, and you didn't think she was good enough." Kakashi began to wander off towards the tower, calling back over his shoulder "Just think that through"
"Kakashi-sensei!" he called back and the older man stood still "Who is it?"
"Who is what?"
"Who is Hokage?"
"Ah… you don't need to know that right now. Come back and see me or Tsunade once you've calmed down." He continued to walk away, and then paused for a second as he performed a number of seals in quick succession before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.
Tsunade waited alongside Shizune in the Hokage office, already with her things ready to move out (mainly consisting of half empty sake bottles). The other Nin that had been gathered earlier had been informed of the new change in authority and had long left, many to head out to the bars of Konoha to spread the word as quickly as possible.
"Are you sure this was a good idea, only telling a few like this?" Shizune asked quietly
"I'm positive." She nodded "Hatake has to tell Naruto in his own way. We couldn't risk telling any of his closer friends"
"Sakura is going to hit you through a wall when she finds out, you know that right?"
"I'm counting on it. If that doesn't knock my common sense back into me, I'll know I've made a sound decision."
"And if she doesn't…"
"Well, then I must have taken a gamble and won for once."
"Dear Kami we are all going to die…" She began muttering to herself.
"Oh, stop it. Kakashi won't do anything stupid, and if he does, he'll only have Sakura to answer to."
Shizune froze still from her heavy pacing "Please don't say you're sticking them together"
"Of course I am, she's the best girl for the job, and he's much more likely to listen to her than to some anonymous paper pusher. It's not like I'm training her anymore, so she has to do something." She grinned, proud of her own office engineering skills
"I give it a month, possibly even less. Then one of us will have to come back."
"You don't have to leave if you don't want Shizune. You've long graduated as my apprentice, and you are capable of looking after yourself."
"I know that Tsunade, but you aren't. Without me, you'd be drunk and broke on a street corner somewhere."
"Ah, well you always meet the most interesting people on street corners…"
She sighed, "I give up."
"Good… trying makes you wrinkle and you already look older than I do."
"Don't push it" she snapped glaring out at the door.
Kakashi then reappeared in the room and wandered over to stand beside them at the oversized desk.
"How did it go?" Tsunade ventured cautiously
"Oh, he'll figure it out eventually." He shoved his hands in his pockets
"You didn't tell him then?" she sighed.
He shifted his one eye to glare at her "Do I look suicidal to you?
"You are both as bad as each other", Shizune grunted and began to walk out of the room "I'm going to say goodbye to a few people"
"Is it something I said?" Kakashi mock pouted behind his mask "I leave the room for five minutes and the whole tower evacuates."
Tsunade smirked at him "They've all gone to drink in the new Hokage and spread the word. You should join them."
"No, I think I'll be fine here. Let them have their fun without the watchful eye."
"You sound old already. Don't let it take over" she scanned his masked face in interest.
"As if I would? But you can ensure my head is going to stay the same proportions it has been for a while."
"I wouldn't count on that" she picked up her box of beverages and made her way out, stopping only briefly to say "It's only a matter of time before they insist on it being carved into the side of the mountain Hokage-sama"
Then she giggled and escaped before he could groan at her again.
He held up a hand with a deep sigh "Ja ne"
Surveying his new office, he couldn't help the feeling that it was empty somehow, like it was too big for him alone to fill, and it seemed no less intimidating than the many time he had been in this very room, on the receiving end of the 'Hokage talk'. How am I ever going to get used to this…?
Naturally, he did the only thing he could ever think of doing when boredom struck. He slipped into the Hokage's chair… his chair, and flipped open one of his prized little orange books.
Hours later, Kakashi was sat at his new desk, attempting to read through some very boring mission reports as the light began to fade through the room. He was determined to get out before his eyesight failed completely, but his 'in' pile was still half the height of the 'out' pile, and there just wasn't enough gratuitous sex involved to keep him interested.
You'd think a three on one ratio of male and female Nin would keep this entertaining, but they never include the interesting parts of missions.
A soft thud of footsteps stopped his thoughts, but he refused to look up in case he read the same sentence for a ninth time, instead waiting for the visitor to speak to him.
Finally finishing the mission report, he settled it in the 'shove somewhere else once I find a filing system' pile, which was twice the height of the 'in' and 'out' pile put together. Then he reached over for another scroll from the 'in' pile, but was momentarily distracted by the presence he found close to it. His hand froze a few inches short of a white and red garmented kunoichi rump, and he couldn't help but to admire the view for a second, before picking up a scroll and beginning to read.
It didn't take long before his gaze slipped upwards again investigating more interesting material, but as soon as his gaze reached breast level, he forced himself to focus back on work. As he read through the first paragraph of the mission report, it became obvious that it was a rambler, and thankfully, he had already read two reports from the same team, so t was simply a case of scan reading and checking key details for consistency. Damn genin… there's always one which has to act smarter than the others…
Nothing came up, so it went onto the 'shove somewhere' pile as he reached for another scroll. He was puzzled at how the Nin at his desk had barely moved an inch, and yet hadn't even said a word to him. It was rude, more than anything, and no one would dare be so deliberate to the Hokage… no one except…
He let his gaze travel upwards, though this time, not to check her out, but to check his thoughts. Surely enough, past shoulder level the edge of her bubblegum pink ponytail came into sight and he felt like ramming his head into the table. Instead, he watched in interest as she played with her nails in front of her face, seemingly bored.
He couldn't help but wonder, despite the churning guilt at having shamelessly looked at a former student in that way, what exactly she was doing leant so provocatively on his desk. Of course, looking at her as Sakura, it did seem to be more lounging tiredly, but he had the alluring image set in his head now, and he couldn't think straight.
Giving up on the scroll in front of him, Kakashi leant back in his chair and sighed. "What are you doing here?"
"Well…" she started in a stoic tone "right now I would have been working on my apprenticeship with the Hokage, but seen as she took it upon herself to retire without warning, and left an imbecile with no medical common sense in charge, I'm finding myself without training, and with a few dozen hours free here and there. So… I've decided to dedicate those precious, now wasted hours to annoying the hell out of you."
"You are certainly achieving your objective so far" he grumbled
"What did you expect, Hokage-sensei?" she turned on the desk to give him a dangerous smile.
"That's very disturbing"
"You don't think it's very disturbing that I only found out ten minutes ago; by rumor?"
"It wasn't up to me Sakura." he held a hand up defensively "Trust me, as soon as Naruto proves himself worthy, I'm out of this office as soon as possible."
"I'm sure you are" she smirked and slid off the desk to walk towards him.
His current thought processes were not helping at all, especially not as her skirt stayed hiked up after sitting down and she had to smooth it down, her delicate fingers brushing over her curves. He scooted his chair back speedily as she got closer, and she couldn't help but to giggle at his nervousness.
She pushed herself between him and his desk, causing him to fight against any outward expressions of the very definite dry-mouthed feelings he was having right then, but then she turned, giving him another prime view of her small and perfectly formed backside as she reached into one of the drawers in the desk.
He relaxed slightly, figuring out exactly what she was looking for, and cursed himself for being a dirty old man as he forced a smile. "You won't find anything in there Sakura"
"Oh really?" she gave him a winning smile as she produced the small stack of little orange books she had been looking for.
His eyes went wide and his expression dropped. "But… how did you…?"
"I was apprenticed to Tsunade-sempai for almost five years Sensei; you really think I don't know all of her hiding places?" She walked back to the other side of the desk with a victorious wink. "When I said 'I'm sure you are', I meant it." She gave him a serious and slightly homicidal glare "Most of my training hours are once everyone has left, so we have a lot of time together. Alone. You're going to want to be out of this office as soon as possible, because I'm going to make sure whenever you are here, it's as uncomfortable as possible."
"Is there any particular thing I've down to cause this irrational psychotic attitude all of a sudden." He asked quietly, unknowingly gripping the arms of the chair he was sat in.
She cheered up, a delicate smile lacing her lips "Oh, mostly it's just for fun… and because I can."
"Well… that's only during nights at things right? I mean… you have hospital duties…"
She shook her head solemnly and the smile dissolved from her face. "I did when I was Tsunade's apprentice. I don't have any job there now."
"Oh…" he suddenly felt even more guilty than he had with just his perversions, even though it really wasn't his fault.
"But hey, bright side of life and all of that" she forced the smile back as she pocketed the books in her kunai pouch. "The same hand of fate that dealt me unemployment, dealt you just about the biggest promotion there is, so it's only right we stick together. Don't you think Hokage-sensei?"
"If you are going to be here constantly, can you at least stop calling me that? Pick one or the other."
"Hmm…" she tapped a fingernail against her chin in thought "One or the other? You know, it seems you get off on having power over people"
He coughed in surprise at words like that falling so idly from her lips "Wha-What...?"
"Would you mind if I called you… Kaka-kun?"
"Sakura, that's inappropriate." He glared.
"No, I think it's quite fitting for our little situation. I'd be the only one in Konoha who calls you that, right?"
He felt this conversation taking a turn for the worse, so he quickly pulled his chair to the desk and forced himself to start the paper work again.
"Hai… silent treatment. I thought as much. I'm just wondering if you're going to impose any ridiculous dress codes in here."
"Will it get rid of you if I do?" he complained
"No, it would just be useful knowing what to wear. I mean, I can't possibly dress like a medic Nin; that would be unethical, and I can't dress in battle gear…"
"Fine, just turn up in a bra and shorts" he grunted, desperate to get rid of her, but the mental picture just made everything so much worse. Damn my gutter mind…
She laughed lightly and meandered towards the door. "I wouldn't joke if I were you Kaka-kun. I might do it"
Before the shock could even register, she had left and the room was silent again, only the faint trace of her unique fragrance lingering in the air.
AN: this will not be updated for a while I think, because MIA is still my baby, but but but but but… website: will have thingys and whatsits of information about the fanfics.
Sign up to the mailing list and I may even send teasers and things for the next chapter.
I may rewrite this at some point, but I still need reviews and feedback.
Stay shiny and Show the luff
XX Belizma-chan XX