Chapter 5: The Shinon Mercenaries

"Now, Ike, with our new recruits, you have to act differently towards them. I honestly don't care what you say about the Shinon clubbers, but among the Greil Mercenaries, you will be cordial. Understand?" Soren glared at the incompetent commander.

"Mmn kay, Soren." Ike smiled sweetly.

"Elena and Gawain couldn't have been cousins, could they? No, they weren't... Mist is quite smart. But, it's probably because Ike was adopted. Ike has blue hair. His mother had purple hair and his father had brown hair. I do not understand how that works. Mist's hair is brown, so she makes sense, but Ike? Ike must have been adopted... That has to be it..." Soren muttered to himself.


"We lost Kieran, Mia, and Rhys. Grr... Bad tidings indeed." Lethe growled softly.

"Not really. The three of them were impressed into Ike's forces. They'll come back to us once we kick some mercenay arse." Shinon smirked.

"But we can't just say we'll kick Mercenary arse, can we?" Titania smiled.

"LET'S GO!" The Shinon Clubbers yelled in unison.


"Devdan sees enemy coming." Devdan spoke.

"Mr. Spock, we need more power..." Ike spoke. (1.)

Soren glared at him, and rolled his eyes: "Captain, you are a useless twit."

"How dare you? I am Kirk, of the ISS Enterprise, and I shall kick Kilngon arse from all over the galaxy!" Ike struck a dramatic pose.

"Klingon? Galaxy? Enterprise? Um, Soren, what the heck is Ike talking about?"

"Do you really want to know, Mia?"

"You're right, I don't. Ok." Mia smiled.

"Mr. Spock," Ike spoke while looking at Soren, "I will leave you in charge. My phaser here should hold off the enemy."

Soren rolled his eyes: "Yes, Captain."

Ike walked out the door, towards the Shinon Clubbers.


"Ike, surrender!" Titania shouted.

"Klingon bastards, you killed my son!" Ike screamed. He raised Ragnell and slashed in Titania's direction. She screamed as a huge blue wave of energy smashed into her.

"A phaser indeed..." Rhys began to stroke his staff.

"You're lucky it was on stun, Klingon fool!" Ike laughed, raising Ragnell again.

"Ike, have you gone mad? Oh, what am I saying? You were always mad. Everyone, charge!" Titania shouted.

The Enemy Draws Near Plays

"Guys, we have help Ike!" Soren shouted.

"Do we?" Kieran moaned.

"Yes." Soren sighed.

"K." Kieran nodded.


In seconds, Mia suddenly turned traitor and unleashed Astra on Haar, giving him another reason to snooze. Rhys started healing the Shinon Clubbers, so Tauroneo had to lance him into submission.

Nepheene was successfully recruited by Boyd, so she immediately attacked and took down Devdan. Jill took her out, but was hit by Calill's Tornado and fell. Brom was taken down by Soren, and the black-haired mage scored a critical when he fired at Volke. Sothe was quickly taken down by Calill, and soon, Soren and Calill were in battle. However, Calill lost. Shinon recruited Tormod by threatening him, and Muarim ended up attacking Shinon. Ranulf, who went to help Shinon, ended up engaging Muarim. The green tiger roared, and scored a critical, and took out Ranulf, but Shinon twirled an arrow and fired, and this helped to take down Muarim.

Soren could not bring himself to hurt Lethe. And she also felt the same likewise. Thus, the two decided to ignore each other and beat up everyone else. Soren took out Largo, while Lethe beat up Kieran.

Gatrie stepped towards Tauroneo, who raised his spear. The two generals fought an epic battle. Tauroneo whacked Gatrie several times with his spear, and Gatrie poked Tauroneo with his sword. After several mutual whacking, Tauroneo twirled his spear and stabbed Gatrie at a special angle below the waist, and Gatrie screamed and went down. But, Tauroneo realized that he was too late. Shinon was victorious!

How did Shinon win?

With Soren not attacking Lethe, the cat was able to take out several of Soren's weaker comrades. Shinon took out Naesala, even though the latter put up a good fight. The Kilvas ravens they 'borrowed' were also defeated by one man: Shinon. Even Rolf could not face his master. Marcia was hit by Shinon's bow, and Tanith was able to take out Reyson, Tormod, Titania, and Boyd, but was brought down by Lethe. Of course, Stefan had fought with Zihark, and won, but he was so weak from his fight that Lethe easily took him out. Finally, with Soren and Ike alone, and Tauroneo preoccupied with bashing Gatrie, Lethe realized that she had to fight Soren in order to rip Ike apart, and Soren realized that he had to beat Lethe in order to take out Shinon. So, the two resigned, and walked off together. Ike had a showdown with Shinon, and with one arrow, Shinon took out his weaker counterpart.

And so, Ike was forced to stand before all of the heroes and shout: "Shinon, I suck. You rock, and you deserve to be the leader."

Thus, a new Mercenary group was formed:

"Everyone! Here is our new roster!" Shinon gladly exclaimed. Lethe and Soren ran away to Gallia together, so they were not a part of the new Mercenary band. Naesala flew off to Kilvas, but Marcia, Jill, Tanith, Haar, and Tauroneo all gave up their previous ranks and joined this band. Ranulf, Muarim, Reyson, Mordecai, Calill, Largo, Brom, and Tormod went their seperate ways, and never returned to join this mercenary band.

The Shinon Mercenaries:

Founder: Greil (Of the Greil Mercenaries)

Commanding officer: Captain Shinon (Of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Second in command: Captain Mist (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Third in command: Commander Titania (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Fourth in command: Commander Oscar (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Fifth in command: Commander Tauroneo (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Roster of staff:

Deputy Commander Tanith (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Deputy Commander Stefan (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Deputy Commander Jill (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Deputy Commander Zihark (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Assistant Deputy Commander Haar (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Assistant Deputy Commander Kieran (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Assistant Deputy Commander Boyd (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Assistant Deputy Commander Gatrie (of the Shinon Mercenaries

Lieutenant Commander Astrid (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Lieutenant Commander Marcia (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Lieutenant Nepheene (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Lieutenant Mia (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Lieutenant Rhys (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Master Sergeant Rolf (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Sergeant Makalov (of the Shinon Mercenaries) (2)

Corporal Devdan (of the Shinon Mercenaries)

Several unnamed trainees hold the ranks of Corporal and Private.

Lowest rank: Maid Ike (of the Shinon Mercenaries)


Shortly after the Shinon Mercenaries were established, Mist and Shinon were married, and had eleven children. They did not have Ike's blessing, but they had Tauroneo's blessing, and who gave a shoot about Ike's opinon, anyways? So, the two were quite a merry couple, in charge of so many people.

Tauroneo proposed to Titania after he saved her from several crazy bandits with swords. Even though she outranked him, she said 'yes,' but he still had to listen to her commands in battle, even though she was his wife.

Ragnell was given to Mist, and to everyone's surprise (except Shinon's), she wielded it much more efficiently than her brother. Its laser (blue wave attack) capability allowed her to take out scores of enemies at once.

Tanith proposed to Ike, and he said 'yes.' Their relationship was quite the reverse of Tauroneo and Titania's marriage, or Shinon and Mist's. Tanith was the 'husband,' and Ike was the 'wife.' Tanith would come home ordering Ike to make dinner, and he would have to comply. Though she was pregnant, Tanith still slew several people on the battlefield. After giving birth, Tanith immediately went off to battle, while Ike took care of the child. The child also inheritied Tanith's last name, and Ike had to change his last name to Tanith's.

Mia wanted to marry Rhys, but Rhys was a priest. Mia thus became a nun to be just like Rhys, but she was quickly kicked out for drinking alcohol, bad language, and trashing the church with her sword.

After seeing Mist marry Shinon, Rolf had himself castrated, because he felt that Mist was the only girl for him, and since she is taken, he has no purpose left in life, except to serve her unquestioningly.

And so, those were the lives of the important Shinon mercenaries, and oh, Oscar married Astrid and Boyd married Nepheene. Yes, that's about it.

Remember, everyone: DO NOT GET COCKY!



1. And so, the mandatory humorist Star Trek arc begins.

2. Marcia asked Shinon to let Makalov in, and Shinon decided to be nice and give Makalov a post higher than Devdan, because Makalov is less weird than Devdan.