Batman or Spiderman?
Summary: On a slow day at the morgue, Nigel and Bug seek the answer to one of the world's most heated debates. No slash, no pairings.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from "Crossing Jordan". I'm just borrowing them. Rated for mild language and mild alcohol reference.
A/N: This story came about when I had the urge to write a "Crossing Jordan" fic, but I wasn't sure what to write about. I wanted to center it on my favorite character, Nigel, and have him argue about something with Bug. After talking with my mom, we said that they could argue about anything. So, after much thought, I threw them into a scenario that actually occurred at my school, which I will tell you the results of at the end of the fic. This is my first "Crossing Jordan" story, so no flames please. Thanks! Hope you enjoy!
"The arch nemesis of Scarecrow; six letters…" Nigel muttered, not even having to use the clues to fill in the blanks of his crossword puzzle. "Man, he was the best…"
"Who?" Bug asked, looking away from the computer screen at his British friend who was sitting on the table near him.
"Batman of course," Nigel answered, looking on to the next question. "I used to love watching the cartoon as a kid."
"I always watched Spiderman myself," Bug muttered, looking back at the computer screen. "Man, I hate the days where nothing happens. We're not even needed here today! It's so boring. I can only look at a monitor for so long…"
But Nigel was looking at Bug in shock. "Spiderman? The git who got his abilities because he was bitten by a spider? Come now, Bug. You have to be joking!"
Bug looked up from the screen again. "At least he has abilities!" he snapped. "Soaring through the city, looking for crime…"
"He swings from a web, Bug. That's not "soaring" as you call it," Nigel replied, setting the crossword puzzle from the paper aside. "Besides, Batman could kick ass without special abilities."
"With the help of gadgets," Bug said.
Nigel crossed his arms. "Those gadgets were simple yet effective," he told the Asian defensively. "And you can't insult the car."
"A car isn't what makes the superhero, Nige," Bug muttered, turning in the chair to completely face his friend. "Spiderman doesn't need a car. He fights without one."
"And gets his ass kicked," Nigel said with a laugh.
Bug frowned. "Hey, Batman has gotten his ass kicked too, don't forget," he countered.
Nigel only laughed again at the comment, which made Bug more frustrated. Then, an idea came to him, which would also be a way to beat the boredom. "Hey, Nige. I'll make you a deal."
"I'm listening," Nigel muttered as he stopped laughing, clearly interested.
"Since we can't seem to come to an agreement on which superhero is better, why don't we ask the others in the morgue?" Bug suggested, getting to his feet. "It'll be a contest. Whoever has the most votes by let's say, five' o'clock, wins. Deal?"
Nigel carefully thought about the offer, then grinned as he got to his feet. The two friends approached each other and shook hands. "Deal."
Jordan looked up from her book when she heard a knock on her office door. "Come in," she said.
The door swung open and Nigel entered, holding a clipboard and a pen in his hand. "Am I intruding?" he asked, noticing the book she was holding.
"No," Jordan answered, tossing the book aside and lowering her feet off the desk as she sat up straighter in her chair. "What can I do for you, Nige?"
Nigel smiled and knelt down beside the chair and placed the clipboard on the desk. "Jordan, I need to ask you something," he muttered. "Which superhero do you think is better, Batman or Spiderman?"
Jordan laughed a little. By the tone of her friend's voice, she had thought he was going to ask her something serious. "Actually, I think I prefer Superman."
"Come on, Jordan," Nigel said with frustration. "You have to pick one of these two. It's a contest that Bug and I are having."
"All right. Fine," Jordan replied, thinking hard. Then, after a minute, she said, "Batman."
"Wise choice, love," Nigel told her with a smile as he handed her the pen. "If you would sign your name please…"
Jordan scribbled her signature on the paper and handed the pen and clipboard back to Nigel. "So, this is how you and Bug are spending the day, huh?" she asked with a smile of her own.
Nigel nodded as he rose to his feet. "Yeah. It's better than sitting around doing nothing," he answered. "Well, I'm off. I have to get more signatures before five."
Jordan watched the tall British man head for the door of her office, and an idea came to her. "Hey, Nige! Cookie dough or rocky road?"
"That's the idea, love," Nigel said, stopping in the doorway for a second. Then, he muttered, "cookie dough" before he shut the door behind him.
"Batman or Spiderman?" Lily asked, looking up at Bug curiously. "Why are you asking?"
"Nigel and I are having a contest because we cannot decide which of our childhood heroes is better," Bug answered her, setting the clipboard down on the desk. "Please, Lily. I need you to answer this question with complete honesty."
"You're really taking this seriously, aren't you, Bug?" Lily said with a smile. "Which one is your favorite?"
Bug smiled back. "Spiderman."
Lily grinned. "Just the one I was going to say," she muttered, signing her name on the paper. "There you go."
"Thank you, Lily," Bug told her, taking the clipboard and rushing out of her office to get more signatures.
"Thank you, Woody, my good man," Nigel said, taking the clipboard from him and checking his watch. Five' o'clock. He supposed that he should go find Bug to compare their results.
"Later, Nigel," Woody muttered, waving as he watched the British man rush away down the hallway.
Nigel pushed his way through a couple of people and hurried around the corner, seeing that his friend was already waiting for him in front of the doors to the crypt.
"Well?" Bug asked as the taller man approached him.
"Thirty-three," Nigel answered proudly, showing him the clipboard. "Beat that, Bug."
Bug's face darkened when he looked at the list of names. "No way…" he muttered, shaking his head.
Nigel smirked. "What, I didn't beat you too badly, did I?"
"No, it's not that," Bug said, wiping the smirk from Nigel's face. "It seems that our question is not yet answered, Nige. I have thirty-three also."
"I can't believe it," Nigel commented, comparing the two lists of names in disbelief. "It shouldn't have come out even like that… Wait. That's only sixty-six. Who are we missing?"
Both friends intently looked over both lists, trying to find the one name that wasn't on them. Then, they exchanged looks with each other when they realized who it was.
"I thought you asked him," Nigel muttered as they both began to run down the hall.
"I thought you did!" Bug countered, keeping pace with his friend. "Well, I guess we'll find out what his answer is now."
They stopped in front of one of the offices, and Nigel reached out and knocked on the door. "Come in," the gruff voice of the man said from inside.
After exchanging one last look with each other, Nigel and Bug stepped into the office, seeing that Garret was sitting behind his desk drinking some sort of liquor. "What can I do for you?" their boss asked.
"Well, Doctor M., bug and I were wondering if you could answer a question for us," Nigel answered.
Garret didn't say anything, but he looked at them expectantly.
"Who is the better superhero, Batman or Spiderman?" Bug said before Nigel got the chance to.
"Batman, right?" Nigel added, earning a dark glare from Bug."
A sigh escaped from the man. "Look, gentlemen, I don't have time for this right now," Garret told them, getting to his feet as he finished his drink. "You two may have spent the day messing around, but I still have some important papers to file. You may go home if you wish, but I want you to be back first thing in the morning unless I call you sooner."
"Yes, Doctor Macy," Nigel and Bug muttered together, seeming a little downcast.
Garret nodded at them, but as he passed them to leave his office, he patted Nigel on the shoulder.
As soon as he was out of sight, Nigel grinned. "I won, Bug," he muttered.
"What?" Bug asked, looking up at his tall friend with confusion.
Nigel looked back down on him. "I won, Bug," he repeated. "Doctor Macy voted for Batman."
Bug couldn't believe what he was hearing. "He patted you on the shoulder!" he said.
"I didn't see him pat you on the shoulder," Nigel replied, proudly crossing his arms.
"You were closer to him!" Bug countered. "That wasn't a vote!"
"Then you clearly don't know Doctor M. very well," Nigel told him with a smirk. "Get over it, Bug. Batman is better."
Bug sighed, knowing that this debate would never end. "Fine. You know what? Let's just call it a draw," he suggested with frustration.
Nigel slowly nodded. "All right. Fair enough," he agreed, shaking Bug's hand before leading the way back out into the hall. "Since Doctor Macy said we could leave, want to go for some ice cream or something? We've had such a long day…"
"Sure. Why not?" Bug muttered, recognizing the sarcasm in his tone as he followed his British friend to the elevators. "At least it will give us a break from this heated debate."
As Nigel pushed the down arrow, he suddenly grinned when he remembered a question he was asked earlier that day. "Hey, Bug. Cookie dough or rocky road?"
"Ah, not again, Nige!"
Garret laughed quietly to himself, having heard all of Bug and Nigel's conversation. When he heard the elevator doors close again, he entered the main hall and walked into his office. Sometimes, he didn't understand those two. It was such a childish thin to fight over superheroes.
He sat down at his desk, watching the sun set as he poured himself another glass of wine. Then, his eyes landed on the drawer of his desk. Quickly glancing to the door to make sure no one was coming, Garret opened the drawer and pulled out a comic that he kept hidden under everything else. It was one that he read when he was a kid, but he still liked to read it sometimes if there was nothing else to do. He set his glass down and leaned back in his chair, opening to the first page.
"On the streets of Gotham City…"
A/N: So, if it was a vote or not that Garret did is up to you. I hope you liked it! We had this same debate at my school before a band performance once, and I was the Batman representative while one of my other friends was the Spiderman representative. After we went around asking which superhero was better, we went to our band director for the tiebreaker. Batman won. So, that's how this story came about. I'm going to do a reader poll. Which superhero is better: Batman or Spiderman. Answer honestly, and I will give the results in my next "Crossing Jordan" fic. Again, I hoped you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading! Your reviews are much appreciated!