Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion. So don't sue me. Although I doubt you'd get much anyway…

So, first fic, and now I have compiled it into a oneshot. Please read and review


Shinji slowly opened his eyes, weighed down with sleep. All he saw was the paint on the ceiling of his bedroom, and sighing, he sat up, yawning.

It was Sunday, and… and what? What did he have to do? He swung his legs wearily over the edge of his bed, and yawned again. Toji had gone to visit his sister in the hospital. Shinji had met her once. She had been a sweet little thing, fragile but so full of energy. He wished her the best, but was secretly glad that it wasn't him in that hospital bed.

Kensuke had gone off on a camping trip with his father, who had finally gotten time off from his work to spend a bit of time with his son. They had left Friday and would most likely be back late tonight. Shinji bitterly wished his father would do something like that for him.

So… what to do? Asuka was going shopping with Misato and Hikari. In fact… he trudged out into the living room and knocked on Asuka's bedroom door. Nothing. He did the same at Misato's door, and once again got no reply. It looked as though they had left already… what time must it be then?

Shinji checked the clock that hung above the stove in the kitchen, which had not been used once by Misato. It was 11:46. No wonder everyone was gone. He had slept in quite late.

Well, he reasoned, it wasn't really his fault. After what had happened last night, he had as much right as anyone to sleep in.

He quickly dressed and set about to cooking a small breakfast—two eggs and a piece of toast.

Maybe Ayanami would like a bit of company? Wait… what was he thinking? She wouldn't want company—her own seemed enough for her.

He flipped the eggs, making sure that the yolk didn't drip too. Maybe his father… no, that was more ridiculous than asking Ayanami out on a date. Well… what about those technicians? What were they called…? Miss Ibuki, Mister Aoba, and Mister… Magota? Mister Maggot? No, Mister… Makoto? Yeah, they'd be real thrilled to hang out with him. And weren't they twelve years older than him?

Sighing, he picked the eggs up with his spatula and slid them onto a paper plate. Was he so pathetic that he didn't have anything to do on a Sunday?

Maybe he'd go to the mall…


Kaji sighed as he looked at himself in his bathroom mirror, stroking his 5 'o' clock shadow, sunlight streaming in from an open window.

Today was Sunday… and what was there to do? He didn't have any reports to type up, and Misato was out shopping with Asuka and that little friend of hers.

What he wanted was a bit of female company. But who? Ritsuko was out of the question—anyway, if he made any moves on her, Misato would kill him. But… maybe that woman who worked at NERV… what was her name? Maya? Yes, Maya Ibuki. She was a cute one…

He sighed. That was out of the question. She had gone to a wedding out of town.

He turned on the sink in front of him and splashed some cold water onto his face, frowning slightly. Why didn't he have anything to do? How odd…

But as he turned the sink off, a light grin was back on his face. He was the Kaji after all. Surely he could find someone on a beautiful day like this? Yep, of course he could. Why, he'd just swing on by the mall and pick up a fine woman there. Surely there would be some lovely young woman looking for company?

He walked nonchalantly out of the bathroom, and went into his bedroom, looking for a clean shirt.

It was settled. He'd go to the mall.


Kaji raised a bold eyebrow at a young lady walking by as he walked down the littered streets of Tokyo-3, to the crowded mall. He gave her a sly smile, and was greeted by a contemptuous "Hmph!"

Still smiling, he walked away from her, not the least disappointed by her reaction. It was so early in this clear morning, and there were plenty of fish in the sea—he'd have enough time to cast his line and reel in a few.

But what was more beautiful than the girl was the day. Bright sunlight splashed onto his face, bathing it in warm sunlight, and a cool breeze caressed his cheek. He wondered idly whether there was ever anything more beautiful.

He was answered as a gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous, lithe brown haired woman walked by. Kaji couldn't stop staring at her legs, which showed from under her mini skirt. A white mini skirt. It billowed slightly around her tan, lean legs.

If Kaji was a cat, he would have been purring right about then. What luck…! He put on his most seductive, lazy grin, rumpled his dark hair slightly more than it had been before, and then he turned around, walking up to the beauty.


Shinji enjoyed the cool breeze that flowed over him as he walked towards the mall, his laminated NERV ID in his pocket, but he idly wished that the sun wasn't shining so brightly. It was a long, hot walk to the mall, and he hadn't put on any sunscreen. He hoped he didn't get sun burn. He had gotten it once—very badly. Misato had to apply cream to his burning skin while Asuka commented on his stupidity. But it didn't matter now.

He absentmindedly planned what he would do at the mall. Maybe go play a few arcade games… Buy a pack of gum, and just sit next to the fountain in front of the wall, watching the people pass by… It was such a pleasant day…

Maybe he'd even see Asuka, Misato, and Hikari. Not that he had come here with that intention of course. And Asuka would surely hate him for being there, and somehow 'ruining' her shopping trip if Hikari or Misato invited him to join them.

But he didn't really mind. Nothing he did was good in Asuka's eyes, and Misato would protect him if Hikari did not. They were good to have around when Asuka had one of her 'moods'.


Kaji felt slightly crestfallen as he surveyed the mall, with all its occupants milling about, pointing at stores, comparing prices, and just having a good time. Apparently the beauty with those wonderful legs had a boyfriend—figures. What would a belle like her be doing single? But of course, who really stayed faithful to just one boyfriend? Most of the woman he knew had five.

Maybe if I had pushed just a bit harder, thought Kaji, I could have gotten her to get something to drink. After that, she would have been all mine. And the thought depressed him. She had really been something. And those legs—man, where did you find legs like that? She must have been wild in bed, a real—Huh?

Kaji stopped short of the large fountain outside of the large mall. Why did that brown haired boy sitting on the fountain ledge remind him of someone…?

Wait… brown hair? And… yep, he was listening to his S-dat. Shinji. Of course. If he, Kaji, had nothing to do on a Sunday, what would the Third Child have to do?

It was a pity, really, thought Kaji as he surveyed the boy, hunched over his S-dat. Given the right push, he could be a real ladies man. With that shy smile of his, those slate grey eyes, and his awkward shyness, he could have all sorts of girls' crawling all over him. Why… even Asuka would be tempted if Shinji just learned some charm…

And suddenly, Kaji found meaning to his dull, female-less Sunday.


"Mister Kaji?" said Shinji as he looked up at the figure that blocked his sunlight. He recognized the good natured grin, rumpled up hair and air of casualness.

"Yep," said Kaji, sitting down next to Shinji on the edge of the fountain, looking for all the world as though he had nothing better to do. "What're you doing here alone Shinji?"

Shinji shrugged, looked down at his torn up sneakers and muttered something unintelligible. He didn't really have any reason at all to be here. But then, when did someone have to have a reason to go to the mall?

"What was that?" said Kaji earnestly, deciding to take matters into his own hands. "You came here to pick up… a girl?"

"Wha--?" said Shinji, looking up from his sneakers, his face red with embarrassment. "No! No, that's not it!"

"That's what I heard," said Kaji, winking at him slyly.

"No, I--I said I didn't have anything better to do…" Shinji's voice trailed off as he realized that what Kaji said at least didn't make him sound like a complete loser. Better to go to the mall to pick up a girl, than to go just because you had nothing else to do.

"No, I think you came here to pick up a girl," said Kaji, somewhat slyly. Better to let Shinji let him think that he had come to pick up a girl, instead of the reason he had just mumbled. It wouldn't make him feel like a total loser, at the least. "Find any you like yet?"

Shinji sighed and shrugged. Better to let Mister Kaji think he was here for a girl—he didn't look so much like a loser that way. "No…"

"Well, it didn't really look to me as though you were looking too hard," Kaji observed. And it was true. Shinji had been hunched over his S-dat and avoiding eye contact with anyone that came his way.

"Yeah… well… there just isn't…"


"I'm… it's just… Mister Kaji, I'm not really that good at talking to girls," Shinji said timidly, his ears burning red with shame. What must Kaji think of him now?

Kaji gave a short laugh. "Well, you can't pick up girls if you can't even talk to them." He turned slowly, so that he faced the crowd, and pointed at a girl Shinji's age, with curly brown hair. "Show me what you got. Go see if you can get a date tomorrow with her."

"Mister Kaji, I really don't—"

"Don't argue with me," said Kaji, as always, good natured. "I've got to see how good you are with the ladies' before I can help you."

Good with the ladies? thought Shinji with disgust as he reluctantly got up. I'm not good at anything… And… he's going to try and 'help' me? How? I—

His thoughts were abruptly cut off as he realized that his feet had lead him from the marble fountain to the girl, who was waiting outside a restaurant.

Oh god, thought Shinji as he looked at her. She's really pretty… Okay, make this good. You don't want to look like an idiot in front pf a pretty girl and Mister Kaji.

He opened his mouth, but all that came out of his mouth was," Hi."


Kaji raised an eyebrow as Shinji walked up to the girl. Not bad. The boy looked rather sickly, as though someone had rubbed flour into his face, but he still went. And Kaji's eyebrow traveled even higher as Shinji said something to the girl, and she gave him a small smile. The brown haired pilots face turned redder than a tomato. How… normal. Yep. Poor boy looked quite flustered.

Maybe he did have something going on with the ladies, thought Kaji as he observed the scene. Shinji had said something, and then the girl had given a short laugh. Short but real. Not one of those fake laughs that women give a guy just so they don't come across as 'rude'. And… hey, Shinji's not so red. This may turn out better than I thought—Oh, what's this?

Shinji had said something that made the laughter in the girl leave within a second, like a flame on a candle that had been suddenly snuffed out. She was staring at him coldly now, and Shinji had gone pale again. He hastily said something, probably in the hopes of getting on her good side again, but nope—she gave a cry of indignation, said something, her face quite red, and then stalked off.

Shinji came back, his face burning with embarrassment and his eyes wide with confusion.

"Well, what happened there?" said Kaji, feeling both amused and irritated—how had the boy made her mad? He had gotten her to laugh—that had meant a date for sure.

"I told her I had a penguin," Shinji muttered, looking down at the sneakers. He knew them inside and out now—he spent a lot of time looking at them.

"Ah. I see. She doesn't like penguins then?"

"No. She loves them. But I think she thought that I owned a penguin fur or something…"

"Oh. She… wait, what?" said Kaji in disbelief. He had known women who wouldn't go out on a date with him because he wasn't bisexual (he had no idea why), but this one beat it all. The girls head must have been emptier than Shinji's.

"Well… I told her that wasn't it, that I just owned a genetically engineered penguin…"

Kaji groaned. He should have known—the boy was a screw up.

"… But then she got madder. She said that I was a monster for testing chemicals on poor, defenseless penguins. Then she just… left…" Shinji let his voice trail away miserably. He had no idea how she had arrived at that conclusion.

"I see…" Good lord, why had the boy said that? Was he blind, stupid, naïve, or a mixture of all three?

"I mean," said Shinji, suddenly angry. He didn't like being made feel bad for no reason—it hurt. "What kind of person comes to that conclusion? It's like—like—"

"NERV handing out candy?" volunteered Kaji. "Miss Ibuki taking Rei and Ritsuko to the mall? Kissing Asuka? Kissing Rei?"

"Yeah," said Shinji, somewhat glumly, the sudden anger that had flamed up within him gone. Of course, kissing any girl was a far off dream for him. And the two that he wouldn't mind kissing were the farthest dreams he had.

Kaji sighed, then rumpled Shinji's hair up, smiling slightly. "Don't worry about it Shinji. There's plenty of fish in the sea. We have all day to find you one."

"But I don't want a fish," said Shinji, confusion in his slate grey eyes. "I thought we were getting me a girl…"

You have got to be kidding me…

Kaji reined his temper in, but it was an effort. Luckily, he had learned patience. If he hadn't, he would have boxed Shinji around the ears right then and there. "We are. Now listen up Shinji. I am going to teach you how to get a girl if it kills me…"


"Are we ready Fuyutski?" growled Gendo Ikari from his chair, his hands folded across his mouth. This was a habit he had developed in his earlier years, when he had been a young intern for a technician at NERV. It helped conceal the emotions that played around his mouth. Of course, he didn't need to do it any more—he had complete control of his emotions. But old habits were hard to break…

"Yes. If you don't mind me asking though sir, why are we doing this again?" Fuyutski shifted the weight from one leg to another, his arms clasped respectfully behind his back.

"NERV is handing out candy at the mall because it will reduce the feeling of mass hatred everyone feels towards NERV over the recent attacks by Angels."

"Ah. Yes sir. Commencing operation… err, Candy at the Mall."


Ritsuko sighed as she looked at the small, steel plated watch on her wrist, then back at the mall in front of her. It was 12:48. She looked over at the two females beside her.

"Maya, why am I here again?"

"Because I just got home from a wedding and was feeling lonely," said Maya happily. And it was true. She had gone to a wedding out of town, gotten drunk, kissed the Best Man, and started a fire in the bathroom. When she had gotten home, she had felt lonely and phoned up Ritsuko, asking her to go to the mall with her.

"Oh. Yes. Well then, why is she here?" Ritsuko tilted her head slightly at the blue haired girl next to her.

For once, her brilliant, brilliant mind was baffled. Why had Maya invited Rei Ayanami on this little shopping trip…?

"I figured she wouldn't have anything to do," said Maya, then winced as she realized that what she had just said could be interpreted as an insult.

Rei just stared stolidly ahead. What they said didn't concern her. What did concern her was why she had even agreed to come in the first place… Why had she come anyway?

Ritsuko interrupted her thoughts. "Oh. What are we going to do around here anyway?"

Maya shrugged. "Check out the guys, try on some clothes, pretend that we actually have some money… you know, the usual." Maya was still feeling the effects of the half a bottle of vodka she had drunk at the wedding—otherwise she most likely wouldn't have been so forward.

"Ah." Ritsuko nodded sagely.

"I have money," said Rei quietly. She didn't know why—she just did. However, she hadn't anticipated the look of panic that flashed across Ritsuko's normally cool face, or the look of glee on Maya's slightly drunken face.

"What?" she said. Only the flicker of her eyes betrayed any curiosity as to the answer of the question.

Ritsuko groaned. Maya grinned.

"We are going to have so much fun…"


Kaji spent quite a bit of time tutoring Shinji in the ways of women, and how to pick one up. By the end of an hour, Shinji had the phone numbers of two girls his own age, and a date with a high school girl the next Saturday.

To tell the truth, Kaji was a bit surprised by the progress Shinji made. The boy was fairly glowing with triumph, and he chatted animatedly to Kaji as they both walked around the mall.

"—And you know, I was really nervous about asking that one girl, the one with the brown hair, but I—"

Kaji grinned, although it was a bit forced this time. He was happy for the kid, he really was. It was nice to see him so confident, the opposite of the self pitying stupor he was usually in, but really, this inconsistent chattering was getting on his nerves. How many ways could one person describe asking a girl out?

"And then when she said yes, I went all—hey, why are those two guys from NERV here?" Shinji broke off as he spotted two men in NERV uniforms holding a basket filled with—no… no… It was filled with…


"Well, look at that," said Kaji, stroking his five 'o' clock shadow as he strode towards the two men. "Shigeru and Makoto handing out candy. Wonder why?"

Shinji muttered something under his breath and curse his memory. Only an hour before, Kaji had said that the chances of NERV handing out candy was less than one in a million. And it was. Was this coincidence or something else…?

"Hey, Shigeru," said Kaji, stopping in front of the long haired man, who was obviously embarrassed at being seen doing such a degrading task," What are you guys doing?"

Shigeru hastily gave a little girl clawing at his pants leg a piece of candy and muttered," NERV's handing out candy on Commander's orders. He says that handing out candy will ease the mass hatred being felt towards NERV or some such crap."

Kaji chuckled and took out a piece of candy from the basket. The words NERV were stamped across it's plastic wrapper. "Well, it certainly is a good plan…" He unwrapped the candy, a fat toffee, and popped it into his mouth.

He instantly spat it out onto the mall floor.

"What the hell?" said Kaji, looking incredidously at the discarded candy. "That's bland—there's no flavor or sugar in it!"

Makoto shrugged and handed a piece of candy to a small boy in front of him. "NERV's cheap—everyone's budget's being cut. I doubt they can afford sugar."

Kaji shook his head, awestruck. He had seen some weird things in his time, and this one ranked near the top—candy with no sugar. Horrifying. "The crap our Commander comes up with, let me tell you, he—" The man suddenly broke off as Shinji tugged frantically on his shirt sleeve, his face an unhealthy pallor that reminded Kaji of a beer-less Misato. "Yes?"

Shinji gaped, looking straight at the department store across from them, his eyes wide open with horror. "Look…. It's… it's…" His voice trailed off as he began to shake violently.

Kaji turned to look. "Oh hey, look, it's Maya, Ritsuko, and… Rei? Woah, it looks like they're… shopping." He scratched the back of his head, bemused. "Well, that does beat all."

"You think Maya would help us out?" asked Makoto eagerly. "Hey, Maya! Maya--!" He broke off as he glanced at Shinji. "Hey… you don't look so good…"

Shigeru also glanced at Shinji. "Hey Kaji, I think the kid's gonna be sick…"

Kaji turned around, frowning as he saw Shinji. "Hey Shinji, what's wrong with you?"

Shinji blanched and quickly attempted to hide behind Kaji as the females wound their way through the apartment. "You remember what you said? That no one would ever think that I did chemical tests on a penguin?"


"And that it was as unlikely as NERV handing out candy, and Maya taking Ritsuko and Rei to the mall, or kissing Asuka, or kissing Rei?"

"Yeah." Kaji thought he saw where this might be heading, and he suddenly felt fear.

"Well… it's happened! NERV's handing out candy"--Shinji gestured at Shigeru and Makoto who both looked utterly bemused—"And they're all at the mall!" He pointed at the three women. "What if the other things that you said happen?! What if I kiss Asuka!? Or… Rei…"

Kaji prided himself on being a clever, quick witted man, knowing in the ways of women and the world. And now—now was definitely the time to exhibit his knowledge. He grabbed Shinji by the arm and quickly called good-bye to the NERV personnel, who both felt as though they were missing something. But they shrugged off the feeling—Kaji was an odd one for sure, and the Third Child odder of possible. It was probably some weird guy thing.


Shinji yanked his arm out of Kaji's grasp, and followed him, weaving through the crowd at the mall. "What are you doing?"

Kaji quickly glanced around him, searching for any sign of red headed menaces. "When something like this happens, it's best to go home and take a shower. Now, all of this may be coincidence, but what if those other two coincidences happen as well? What if you kiss--?"

"Asuka?!" said Shinji, and he trembled in fear of what would happen if he ever did that. Maybe he really should think about writing a will…

Unconciously, his feet quickened at this thought, until he was in front of Kaji, nearly running around the corner. Then—

He suddenly skidded to a stop as he rounded the corner and found himself face to face with Asuka, who had instantly stopped, looking at Shinji with disbelief, as though she couldn't believe he was here. They were really close to each other…

"What are you doing here baka?" hissed Asuka, her eyes narrowing as she snapped herself out of her shock. "Do you think you--?"

She was cut off as the unthinkable happened.

You see, when Shinji had nearly run into Asuka, he had already been around the corner, and out of sight of Kaji. The older man had instantly quickened as he lost sight of Shinji, and had run around the corner, knocking into Shinji with a (manly) yelp. Of course, Shinji was pushed forward onto Asuka, and driven forward by Kaji's momentum, the two pilots lips touched…

For a second, all time seemed to stop as their lips met, and brilliant blue eyes met slate grey eyes. Shinji's brain seemed to stop—just shut down.

She really is cute, thought Shinji as Asuka's eyes began to widen. But… I don't think she's… Oh shit! What the hell am I doing? His eyes widened as Asuka's went from wide eyed shock to anger.

A second later, he was pelting back the way he had come, Asuka behind him yelling all sorts of death threats, and Kaji behind her telling her not to kill Shinji.


"Hey Rei, what do you think of this?" Maya asked as she sprayed perfume in front of the blue haired girl's face.


"Oh c'mon!" said Maya playfully. "What d'you think of it?"

Rei sniffed, but the dull expression in her face didn't change. Ritsuko sniffed too, as she took the bottle from Maya. She wrinkled her nose. "That smells horrible Maya!"

"No it doesn't!" protested Maya. Had she been sober, she would have agreed and put it back on the shelf where it belonged, to decay. "What do you think Rei?"

The girl sniffed again, then shrugged slightly. "It doesn't matter. Perfume is used to scent a woman, and to leave a good impression among her accuanitances, but since I have no need for it, whether I like it or not is irrevelant. I have no immediate need for it, and it is unlikely I ever will."

"But what do you think?"

"………. It smells horrible."


Shinji gasped for breath as he quickly dashed behind a rack of clothes on clearance.

Geez… Asuka had chased him through three stores… and it wasn't as though he deserved it… Kaji was the one who had pushed him into her… But now… it looked like he had lost her… and Kaji… Shoot…

Shinji straightened up as he saw no sign of demented red headed Germans, and sighed. Why did stuff like this happen to him? Did someone up there enjoy watching him squirm?

As he did with most of his problems, Shinji pushed the thoughts and questions out of his mind, and wondered what he should do now. It was probably a good idea to leave the mall, but he couldn't just leave Kaji. The best course of action would most likely be to wait out in the front of the mall. But what if Asuka came out and found him…?

Well, that was a risk he had to take. He turned on his heel and ran through the perfume section of the store.


Ritsuko sighed as she checked her metal plaited watch for the twentieth time. Maya was making Rei smell so much perfume. It was a wonder the girl didn't have a headache. Goodness knows she did. Although, the fake blonde had to admit that the girl did smell nice now.

"Can we leave now?" Ritsuko asked irratibly.

"Just wait," said Maya, stepping out from behind a shelf. "I want Rei to—Whoa!" A streak had suddenly come hurtling past her, knocking into her arm. It slowed down, and Maya found herself looking into Shinji Ikari's frightened eyes. "Err… hey Shinji."

"Hey," muttered Shinji, glancing around. "You haven't seen Asuka, have you?"

"No," said Ritsuko flatly, and eyebrow raised. "What are you doing here Shinji?" Why was the boy so flustered? And he seemed to be running from Asuka. Jeez, he was acting as though he had kissed her…

Wait… maybe he had… Ooh…

"Just… hanging out," said Shinji quickly. He didn't like the look on Ritsuko's face. "Anyway, I really have to go… so if you'll excuse me…" He turned around and darted away. Unfortunately, Rei chose that moment to step out from behind a shelf of perfume.

Shinji instantly skidded to a stop, halting right in front of her. In fact, he was really close to her when he stopped. Closer than he had been with Asuka…

At least he hadn't kissed her. Maybe his luck was taking a turn for the better? … Not that he would really mind kissing her… but…

"Hey Rei," said Shinji awkwardly. He was too close to her… He should really move… but his legs wouldn't respond… and she wasn't moving either…

Oh boy.

"Ikari," she greeted softly. There was an awkward pause, in which neither moved, and then she said softly," Why are you here?"

Shinji opened his mouth to answer, but before he could, he heard Ritsuko say," Kaji! What are you doing here?" And then, before he could turn around, a heavy arm had clapped him on the back. Of course, as Shinji was lighter than most boys his age, and he wasn't prepared for the additional weight of a full grown man's hand, he lurched forward.

Now, if he hadn't been so close to Rei, everything might have worked out. As it was, his body pressed against hers, and for the second time that day, his lips touched that of another pilot's.

Shinji was frozen. It was as it had been with Asuka—he couldn't move, his legs wouldn't respond, his mind was filled with a blank buzzing. All he could see was her red eyes, slightly wider than before in what he guessed may have been shock, and despite himself, he took in her scent. She smelled exotic—Shinji supposed it must have been from hanging out in the perfume section of the store.

And the suddenly, the brown haired boy heard Kaji wolf whistle, and that seemed to hit a spark in his mind. He pulled away from Rei hastily, his face three different shades of red, heat radiating from his embarrassed face.

"Rei," Shinji stammered, ignoring the three adults behind him," I—I'm really, really—I didn't mean to—"

She simply stood there, confusion in her red eyes as she surveyed Shinji, her head slightly cocked to one side. There was something odd about her eyes now—they seemed brighter than before.

Stop stammering idiot! Shinji thought, cursing himself roundly. You've got to say something good—c'mon, say something!

"I—I've got to go," Shinji muttered, and he pushed past Rei. He shivered as his hand brushed against hers, and then he was running.


Never, never, never, thought Shinji as he walked along the street, away from the mall and towards Misato's apartment, never, ever, ever, ever will I go to the mall with Kaji again. No way! Never ever, ever, ever. EVER. God what a disaster… I can't believe I kissed Asuka and… Rei…

Even as he roundly cursed the day and its events in his mind, even as he thought very mean thoughts about Kaji, who had pushed him into both girls, he was reliving the kiss with Rei… how her lips had felt against his… and the warmth from her body…

Brushing his fingers against his lips, the boy smiled.

The End


Well, there you go. Finished! I hope you enjoyed it and didn't consider it a complete waste of your valuable time

Please read and review, as reviews really, REALLY mean a lot to me

And thank you to everyone who already reviewed. I appreciate it