Freaks and Geeks

D M Evans

Disclaimer - not mine. Mr Whedon et al owns all

Rating - FRT

Time Line – 1927

Pairing - Spike/Dru

Prompt/Claim – Insane; Spike/Dru

Summary – Spike and Dru at the circus.

Authors Note - written for the ficvariation's August challenge. Thanks to evillittledog for the beta and the title.

Spike always thought his dark princess was a bit barmy but that's what he liked about her. However, compared to the side show people she insisted on going to see, Drusilla looked like a bastion of sanity. Spike had to admit he liked looking at the freaks so long as Dru didn't want to turn a three-legged man or a bearded lady and add them to their family. No way was he snogging a bird with a beard.

As they walked along, restraining themselves from gobbling down the other voyeurs, Spike spotted a tattooed lady. He wondered briefly if he could get Dru to wear a skimpy outfit like that. He smoothed a hand down her arm, trying to picture what her beautiful pearly skin might look like in ink.

Drusilla ticked a finger against his chin. "You like her, my naughty boy."

Spike wrinkled his nose. "Think you'd like a tattoo, pet?" Her blue eyes narrowed dangerously and Spike grimaced. "Okay, that's a no."

"Come and see the brothers from outer space," one of the talkers called out, waving toward the stage. "Meet Eko and Iko the ambassadors from Mars."

Spike's eyebrows cocked up at that, wondering what manner of weirdness they might be in store for now. Two young men gamboled out, flashy in dark pants and vests with shiny sashes. Fish-belly white, they could almost pass as vampires. Their hair, hued like a yellowed wedding dress, sprung from their heads in dreadlocks. They talked gibberish to each other to the delight of the crowd.

Dru pressed closer to the stage, her delicate nostrils flaring. "Smell human." She sounded supremely disappointed they weren't really Martians.

"Sorry, pet, let's see what else there is to see," Spike said only to find himself shuddering when they got to the next stage. The 'Human Owl' stood there, ass and face pointing in the same direction. "Never saw that unless you and I were having a bit of fun with someone," he whispered to Drusilla who looked bored with the act.

Koo Koo the Bird Girl didn't thrill either of them. Drusilla did her own dance among the crowd while the homely girl shimmied around her stage in a furry outfit. Spike's attention was drawn to a stage surrounded by hungry looking men. He lit up and went to take a gander. To his shock, sitting on stage, showing so much wonderful leg, was a sweet faced girl. The talker called her the living Venus de Milo. There was no doubting where she got the moniker. Her shoulders were smooth and armless, flirting with a lacy sleeveless top. He watched, entranced as she lit a cigarette with her toes and smoked using her foot as a hand. Angelus, with his foot fetish, would just love her. Spike couldn't held wondering a few lurid things himself.

Drusilla's hands smoothed up his spine. "She wouldn't be able to catch her dinner properly, Spike."

Spike let smoke curl from his lips trying to imagine a Venus de Milo vampire. Maybe Dru had a point. "Where to next, ducks?"

She took his hand and led Spike along to another sideshow where the talker was proclaiming the wonders of Elastic Skin Joe. She wanted to see some freak stretch his skin? Spike would rather have kept ogling the Venus for awhile longer.

The elastic man came out on stage looking like he lost his best friend. "She dumped me," he said then took a swig of something. He seemed a little surprised then despondently pulled at bits of his stretchy skin. Suddenly Elastic Joe's eyes bulged and he began to tremble. To the crowd's horror – and to Drusilla's delight – he collapsed on stage, thrashing about, his skin flapping like bat wings as he convulsed. He bent into a bow, gasped and died.

Spike pulled Drusilla back a little as the crowd surged in several directions at once as the talker ran over to the suicidal performer. Dru's delicate nose flared. "Strychnine," she said with some satisfaction.

Spike nodded, also picking up on the scent of the poison. "Well, that was fun." He patted his belly. "I'm hungry, let's get a bite to eat."

Drusilla grinned, her face changing to its golden eyed glory. She went to grab the nearest person who turned to look at her when she grabbed his arm. The expression on his face wasn't fear but wonder and excitement.

"Wow, look at you two," he said. "How long have you worked for the Ringling Brothers?"

Spike blinked, stunned and Drusilla couldn't even eat the bloke. "What?"

"Are you brother and sister?"

"Of course they are," a well dressed man said sliding right up to the vampiric couple. "With faces only a mother could love. They're the Bat-faced siblings from Australia."

"We're what?" Spike asked, bemused.

The man draped an arm around either of the vampires, leading them away from the crowd. "I can make you two a fortune," he hissed. "Just play along. We just lost a performer so we'll be needing another act. Do you two do anything other than just look ugly?"

"Spike, he called me ugly." Drusilla pouted.

"I'll gladly kill him for you, pet."

"Ugly is great. Ugly can make you rich," the circus manager assured them.

"Rich? Really?" Spike asked, almost considering it.

"We could be geeks and eat all the people they throw to us...especially the babies." Dru's eyes lit up.

Spike liked that idea, too, but there was one thing standing in their way. "Sorry, Drusilla, too crazy. Sunlight, remember?"

Her scowl said she did.

Well, at least the manager was tasty.

Author's Note #2 – All the sideshow performers here are real, including Elastic Joe who did just this after being turned down by the tattooed lady. Most of the information came from American Sideshow and it offers a different prospective from the performers pov which was most of them did enjoy it or didn't feel exploited