Author's Drivel

I'm busy. Just busy. And that's all I can tell you. But this came up and I had to get it down. I know the plot's been used many times, but I wanted to try writing one as well.

Author's Comments

Song's written by myself. It's called Through Me. I think. Maybe I'll change the name. I don't know.

Just a lot of sadness. If it brought tears to your eyes, then I hope you know that I'm glad I could bring out the empathy in you however little.

Drop a review, won't you? I'd like it a lot too if you'd make an advanced critique or two. Or perhaps just mention that you liked it. (smiles)

A bit personal. Both the song and the storyline.

'Unspoken Thoughts of Daisuke Niwa' is a 50-theme drabble fiction I'm currently working on. Won't be up too soon though.

And no, it's actual title is not that... Too long, but I'm working on it.

Who does she truly see when she looks at me? Dark, or me? --- Extract from 'Unspoken Thoughts of Daisuke Niwa'.

Characters mentioned and used all belong to Yukiru Sugisaki. Song's mine.

Through Me

Sky's grey now,
Rain's falling so slowly.
Tell me, please,
Do you see me or through me?

"I'm back mom," Daisuke Niwa called into the house, shaking the water out of his crimson hair. It was raining outside, and it seemed to be getting heavier.

"Welcome home, Dai!" Emiko's voice came from the kitchen, and its usual exuberance made Daisuke smile. He was tired, more than usual, and hearing his mother's cheerfulness always perked him up somehow. "Don't get sick now, Dai! Dark still has a thieving tonight! So hurry up and go take a bath and dry yourself!"

The storm's rolling,
It seems like the sky's crying the tears I wept.
Tell me, please,
Do you see me or through me?

And as soon as it came, the cheeriness left him. Is thieving the only thing on her mind? Or rather, is Dark the only one on her mind...? The thought fleeted through his mind before he could help it. And the next thing he knew, there was an irate thief in his head.

Of course it's not! What the heck are you thinking, Dai? Dark was being dramatic in tone, but there was a hint of concern and worry underlying it.

Startled, Daisuke could only blush hotly. Nothing, Dark. Nothing, he lied, closing his eyes and spoke on to the thief before he could retort. I'm tired. Leave it, alright?

And surprisingly, the thief fell silent. In the red head's mind, the thief was seated, his face scrunched up in a pensive expression. He seemed to be itching to say more to his tamer, but he restrained, because his tamer (my only friend, his own private thoughts added quietly) requested it.

I'm hurting, can't you see?
I had cried, didn't you hear?
I screamed; tell me you didn't turn away from me.
I'm bleeding, can't you see?
I had prayed, didn't you hear?
I fell and I'm still falling, but you've turned away from me.

In silence, Daisuke took his bath with the water turned up to an unnaturally high temperature. He stood under the shower, however, as if he could not feel the heat and the scalding of his skin which was turning red very swiftly.

And Dark; he watched. He reached out and tried to gain the red head's attention, but even in his thoughts Daisuke was distant and just, not there. Dark searched and searched, for the tiniest part of Daisuke that he knew had had to be around. And he found it after a tedious combing through the red head's mind. It's just... not what he had expected.

Lightning's flashing as thunder roared
Are the Heavens angry?
At me or at you,
You, who looked right through me?

He found Daisuke, alright, for there was no lock he could not unlock, even in the mind. But it was just a tiny part of him.

It was that tiny part that never spoke out, that tiny part that kept quiet as it received hurt after hurt, pain after pain, agony after agony and suffered in solitude and silence. It sat in the same position he had found Daisuke in once, the time when he withdrew into himself so deeply he was almost unable to retrieve him back. Dark shuddered at the memory.

"Dai?" Dark called out cautiously, and was fairly surprised when the wounded part of Daisuke's soul responded, looking up and at him. But the eyes... those beautiful, vibrant rubies... they were so– so pained, so dead. "Dai?" Dark called out again, reaching up towards the part of soul his tamer had locked away.

"..." the wounded soul said nothing, but continued to stare at Dark as though he could not see him at all. The sorrow in those red eyes were so evident, so enormous in amount, Dark could almost feel the melancholy leaking from them and into him.

Rain's falling faster,
Are they Heavens' tears?
Are they for me or for you,
You, who looked right through me?

"Dai, won't you speak, to me?" Dark tried, looking slightly hopeful that his gentle coaxing would work. He did not expect a sudden lash out of pure energy that cut him at several parts of his body and left him hissing in pain.

"Dai?" he tried again, voice softer. He looked at the cuts on his body, and was astonished to see so many, all bleeding enough to make him feel sticky. He tried to heal them, but could not. When he looked back up to Daisuke, he was shocked to see the very same cuts on the boy's body, at the exact places and bleeding exactly the same as he was.

"Dai?!" he cried out in shock.

"..." It was either that the wounded was stubborn, or he truly could not speak. And perhaps, he really could not. Perhaps, he was silent because Daisuke never gave him a voice.

"Dai, please, stop this. You're hurting yourself!" Dark exclaimed, wanting to reach towards the wounded soul but did not because he knew he could not. There was a soft whimper, and the soul curled up into its protective shell again, the broken wings of his strained as they folded forward and around him, hiding and trying to shield him.

I'm hurting, can't you see?
I had cried, didn't you hear?
I screamed; tell me you didn't turn away from me.

And all of a sudden, the wounded soul was gone and Dark was back in his usual place in Daisuke's mind. He looked through the red head's eyes, and saw that the boy was sketching. Gingerly, Dark approached the red head. ...Dai?

Hm? What is it, Dark? The reply was soft but this time, Dark could finally see, hear, feel the underlying pain that was hidden in so many layers of fraudulent acts, smiles and laughter he had never noticed before. Dark softly cleared his throat, What are you sketching, Dai?

"You'll see," Daisuke replied out loud and continued his sketch quietly.

I'm just so tired,
So worn out from crying.
I'm so sick of it,
Done with hoping for the impossible.
But I can't stop it,
I can't stop myself from hurting,
No matter how many times I've tried to tell myself,
It's okay, it's alright and everything will be just fine.
Because I know,
Everything's never gonna be alright,
And knowing that you no longer (you've never) cared,
It burns and pains me so much more.

And Dark did see. He watched as each shade was done with powerful passion, as each stroke of the pencil was done with knowing precision and accuracy, as each detail hid the fundamental emotion of the drawing.

He watched as the red head forgot about his hurt for just that moment as he lost himself in the world of art.

And right then, Dark promised he would protect these moments.

Because he did not want, could not bear to see that wounded part of his tamer's soul again.

I'll do my damnedest to heal you, Dai... I'll heal the pain you never should have had to feel. I'll heal you... I promise. I promise... I swear...

I'm hurting, can't you see?
I had cried, didn't you hear?
I screamed; tell me you didn't turn away from me.
I'm bleeding, can't you see?
I had prayed, didn't you hear?
I fell and I'm still falling, but you've turned away from me.