So I'm trying to stick with this creative flow I've got going. FYI, I'm using Wordpad. The computer I have doesn't have Word on it yet. Let me know if there's any way for me to improve my work's appearance. Also, let me know of any spelling errors. I didn't have efficient spellcheck. Thanks and enjoy!
H is for Hole
There were a lot of things she thought about late at night, when the others were asleep and the world was at rest for the most part. She was always up at night anyway. It was not only the thoughts but the feelings of anxiety and fear that coursed through her. She couldn't truly rest, sleep, or be at peace unless she was meditating. If she dared to loosen the extreme control she had on her emotions and mind, they would run free and pull her with them.
She saw her father the most. Oh how she hated him. For him and him alone, she would consider letting Rage out to end him if he were to ever pop up again. Slade kept second place but was still nothing compared to Trigon. She was sure she'd never come to forgive him nor forget him. How could she, when he'd been the most prominent part of her life since the day of her birth?
She also thought of the events of the end of the world. Robin had come to save her, and lead her back to herself. And the others had stuck by her side despite the terror she'd wrought upon the world. They were truly there for her, and she would never forget that.
Her thoughts shifted back to Robin, their indominable leader. He was admired by many because of his strength, skill, determination, good looks, and enigmatic personality. Everyone wanted to know what was under the mask. She was the only one who really knew. She knew everything, because she'd seen it in his mind. And he knew that.
Their bond wasn't as strong as one might think. Whether consciously or subconsciously he'd blocked her thoughts and feelings from reaching him. If he hadn't, she was sure she would've seen a response from him at some of them by now. She could just barely read him. Strong emotions or memories set the frazzled ties between them to singing. She just wished that it bothered him more.
Before she'd given up and sacrificed herself, bringing Trigon forward, he'd held her hand. He'd hugged her afterwards. He'd smiled at her with such warmth that she thought surely he cared for her. Maybe it wasn't love but it was something more then friendship would surely allow. So she'd stayed in the shadows and waited, hoping that one day soon he would walk to her and tell her that he loved her. But he never did. Instead, he knealed in the rain with another girl who was so much better then her, and kissed her. And he never had the decentcy, the heart, to say something to her after that.
So the dark girl, the one no one had ever really loved before, remained that way. She stayed in the shadows and kept a careful watch, seeing every one of her friends happy but not her. She kept her distance emotionally and went back to being the cruel, sarcastic, cynical empath she had been. This time, no one noticed. Beast Boy had Terra, Cyborg and Bumble Bee, and Robin had Starfire. There was no one left to care about what happened to her, even if it was herself.
Each night she went to her room, breathing in the cool incense-scented air and breaking down in tears. Sometimes the flow was slow starting. Other times she had to run the last small distance to get behind the door before the weathering sobs took hold. It was always painful. It was always hopeless. A hot shower would follow and then bed, where the pillow would take her tears and whispered confessions faithfully, never telling a soul.
Her mind would drift, remembering every single moment with Robin. She was in too deep. Even Inteligence didn't know what to do. They were in a no-win situation. They would just have to accept that.
And every morning she would crawl out of bed, having not slept hardly a wink and then repeat everything all over again. She was going through the motions, and the vinear was starting to crack. Each day got harder, and each night got longer. Especially when he would smile at her in the mornings, or say goodnight in that hypnotic voice of his, and it would rip her apart because he was going to go to bed with Starfire.
She would burrow into her bed, cold and alone. He would have a warm, sweet body to cuddle. The make love to. She would have nothing but the blankets and her own arms, and Starfire would have his strong arms to protect her from all harm. She would cry and hear the silence start to drive her to the edge. It would rain if she was lucky, and soothe her. Starfire would have his sweet nothings to fall asleep to. Delicate shushes that would comfort her no matter what. It wasn't fair.
And that's just it. There is no fair in life. Nothing is guaranteed. So she supposed, she was doomed to remember that of everything that happened, it was her fault. She should've said something, or done something differently. It wasn't fair, but it was at the same time. She just hadn't taken the chance to let her heart open fast enough to the boy who stole it.
It was bound to come to an end someday. The pain, the smiles, the fake happiness, the loss, the tears, the laughter of the happy couple. It would be over someday. She would stop seeing their kiss in her mind, and she would know peace. Someday...couldn't come fast enough. And until someday could come, she would have a hold in her heart that no one could fill.
So I have no idea what I've written really. It seems a little depressing to me but like I said before I'm going with the flow. Thanks and please review, I need a pick me up. Out.