This is a theory of mine and I wanted to get it out there. This is a John fiction set prior to season one. It will consist of 5 chapters and then might get a short epilogue later on. It is all written and betaed by my awesome FaNily DreamHorizon and sifi (aka J. A. Carlton on FFN) THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Special thanks to sifi. If I didn't have you to push me threw some of the parts… or to have you to read and approve and understand and motivating… this would have been an idea that never became anything else… Oh and also for locking me inn your apartment all alone (I had to do something after doing the dishes!)… :) Anyway, thanks for all the help!

It's about Sam

"Dad, c'mon! Let me come!"

Dean was begging his Dad to come on this hunt as John picked his bag up from the kitchen table and headed towards the door. As he reached for the knob the door opened from the other side.

"You're heading out again?" Sam looked at his Dad who was right in front if him. He hated this, the lives they led, the hunting and the moving around. Even though this was bad enough, the worst was that he hated to worry. Whenever his Dad went out on a hunt alone, or if he took Dean with him, Sam would sit for hours thinking about what he would do if they never returned. Sure he had been on his fair share of hunts as well but when he was there he knew that he could stop anything if any kind of demon or spirit were to go after his brother or his father. He would throw himself in front of a cannon if it would save either one of them. Still he would more than often find himself sitting on his bed with his books in his lap looking endlessly into the empty space planning on what to do. What if?

"Yeah, Sam, I am going out." John looked at his youngest boy expecting him to move out of the way and let him go. They've had their fare share of fall-outs over the last few months and neither seemed able to step up and fix it. The Winchester 'we don't talk things out' style had deep roots though it was obviously bothering both of them. It bothered all three of them and still they all acted as powerless as they felt.

"When do you get back?" Sam said his voice hard as if he wanted John to feel sorry for leaving them. Maybe not for leaving them now, they could take care of themselves now, but for leaving when they were 4 or 7 or 9 or all of those times in between where they were left alone to take care of each other.

"A few days, now would you get out of the way?" John's voice had hardened too though he tried to keep his cool. He wanted nothing more than for all of them to get along but he and Sam were so alike. So stubborn, so firmly set, each to his own way of thinking. Each man certain that his way was the right way while Dean on the other hand, Dean did was he was brought up to do, no questions asked. He would follow his dad down the steps to hell if he was asked to.

"Fine!" Sam responded and stepped to the side mockingly showing his father the way out. Seconds later the door was slammed shut by the youngest Winchester

"Could you please stop it?" Dean said after Sam had stepped into the room.

"What?" Sam shrugged.

"Can't you guys please try and get along. What is up with you… are you hitting puberty again or something?" Dean was obviously mad at his younger brother. He had always tried his best to keep his father and brother in line with each other. They were the two things in the life that he led that was always permanent. No matter what happened he knew that they would always be his. Not just his family but his. Still this behavior of both his father and brother had started to worry him. He was afraid that one day Sam might just pack up and leave which caused numerous of questions to whirl around Dean's mind. What if he left? Would they follow him to get him back or let him go? What if he wanted to go after Sam and his Dad didn't? Where would he be? Torn in the middle of the two things in life he leaned on for support… where would he be?


John could hear Sam closing the door harder than necessary, at the same time as he felt a ball of anger rolling around in his gut, occasionally bumping into the bigger ball of worry and they both were both growing. Why does that boy have to be so stubborn?

He threw his bag in the trunk along with all the other weapons, herbs and things not even he had learned what they were as yet. I really need to get this sorted out one day, he thought as he slammed the trunk shut and stepped into the black '67 Chevy Impala. How he loved this car. He had been working on it before Marry died and it was just about done when the fire occurred. Since then he had always loved the car. Maybe it was the way he had taken it for rides hour after hour on dead roads doing nothing, thinking, remembering the good times. He turned the ignition and heard the purring sound of the engine which caused a smile to light up his face.

He knew his destination, Manning, Colorado. He needed to find answers and this was the directions the clues had been pointed him in. He also knew that whatever he might find here could turn his world upside down, not that it wasn't upside down already but with the turns his life kept taking he knew that it could always be worse. Still he needed to know. No matter what answers he might get, he needed to know them - for him, for his boys, for Sam.


It had been a long drive when the black car pulled up in front of an old bar. John rubbed his eyes and stepped out. He was dead tired but he knew he couldn't call it a night just yet. There was so much to get his mind wrapped around and he would like to have as much as he could sorted out before he would let himself rest.

He stepped in and to his surprise this place was a lot livelier than bars usually were on a late Wednesday night. There were a few people sitting spread around on various tables having a drink or a beer, three men were sitting at the bar talking about last night's football match. John walked passed them all, over to the table furthest away in a badly lit corner. Around the pool table there were a gang trying to show off to some girls that they were the best of the best. Dean would have beaten them with his hands tied behind his back, John thought and smiled to himself.

"You want to order anything?"

John jumped a bit in his chair not sure if he'd dozed off for a second or not. Either way he didn't see her coming. Her smile almost hypnotized him and in one way, just for a second, she looked a lot like Mary.

"Sir, a beer?" She offered and smiled gently at him.

John cleared his throat before answering. "Sure… thanks" He smiled back at her.

"Coming right up" She turned and walked over to the bar. John couldn't help but follow her with his eyes as she walked away from him.

He shook himself out of his very own trance reminding himself why he was there. He pulled out his journal from the bag and put it on the table. He would wait until the waitress came back before he started to sort through it. He didn't want her to start asking questions because the stuff in this book wasn't easy to explain to anyone and at times he even had trouble figuring out what he had scribbled down himself.

The waitress came towards John, still smiling her pearl white dimpled smile at him.

"There you go, sir."

"Thanks, how much do I owe you?" John leaned to the side to get his wallet from his jacket pocket. He noticed that her look slid down to his journal and something seemed to change in her eyes as she looked up at him again.

Their eyes met, both seemed unsure if they should say anything or not. After a few seconds that seemed like several minutes the waitress said that the beer was on the house, smiled then left John at his table wondering what that was about, if it was of any importance and if he needed to try to clear something up for her or at least come up with a lame excuse to explain whatever she might have thought she saw. My God, John… over thinking this much of what? He thought to himself and shook his head realizing that she couldn't have noticed anything important at all; the book had in fact been closed.

For a little while John sat just watching her. Every now and then she would look up from behind the counter and smile at him, he would smile back the times he didn't look away but then he would sigh and his smile faded. Even though it was years ago since he lost Mary, it still hurt as if it was yesterday. The feeling of losing her… the feeling that the whole world collapsed and fell over him like the biggest tidal wave, ripped pieces out of his heart every day. He knew that if it wasn't for the boys, if it wasn't for his passionate drive to protect them and kill whatever took his Mary, he would be long gone. He wouldn't care where, just gone.

John finished half the beer in one go before he opened the journal. He pulled out a pile of loose sheets with drawings and writings going in every direction, arrows pointing and explaining the drawings, English and Latin overlapping one another. It would be a mess to anyone who would try and decipher it but it was a carefully thought through system for John Winchester.


"John! Shotgun!"

John reached for the shotgun and threw it up in the air just as another man passed him grabbing it then kept on running fast down the hallway. Two shots were fired and John got to his feet to follow the action. He entered the room in the far end of the building.

"Nice going, Bobby." John walked over to this other man and gave him a clap on the shoulder.

"You didn't hurt her, did you?" John asked

"Of course not, rock salt only though it will probably hurt like hell when she wakes up. We can still save this girl and we will."

Half an hour later the girl was sitting tied up in a chair waking up from her blackout. Bobby and John had made all the necessary arrangements before they could start the exorcism. Paintings and symbols were over the walls and roof as well as a few buckets of holy water placed behind the man watching her.

"You got the book?" Bobby looked over at John who entered the room with a huge book that looked like it had been to hell and back, barely staying in one piece. John lifted the book slightly showing it to Bobby and nodded, then opened it up obviously aware of where what he needed was to be found.

Bobby nodded and John stared to chant Latin. He hadn't gotten far before the demon inside the girl suddenly woke up throwing her head backwards. John stopped and looked at Bobby with a worried look in his eyes.

"John Winchester." She growled as she moved her head forward, her eyes black as the darkest of night, hard, peering and soul-less. "The very own… flesh and blood… Winchester huh? Interesting!"

"Don't listen to it, John, keep going." Bobby urged.

John started where he had stopped and winds started to flow through the room as twisters throwing dust around as the demon started to twitch throwing itself around in the chair, screaming out in pain.

"SAMUEL!" It screamed taking John by surprise causing him to almost drop the book.

"What did you say?" John stepped forward and leaned in slightly hovering over her. "What did you say!"

"SAMUEL!" It looked up at him and blinked away the black in its eyes, leaving hers deep blue once more.

"Please, stop." It pleaded as tears filled her eyes. "They have plans… for Samuel… Sam… they have plans."

"John, don't you listen to her! You know this isn't the truth." Bobby tried to convince John to keep on with the exorcism. Both men were well aware that in this position a demon will do absolutely anything to get away with its so called life.

"What if it is?" John screamed back throwing the book on the floor making parts of it fall out of the covers, then moving over to the demon, leaning over it, forcing it to move back in the chair.

"Tell me!" He roared.

"Let me go…" she heaved after air obviously exhausted. "Let me go and I will tell you. I will tell you everything."

"How about you tell me and we'll se about the rest."

"JOHN!" Bobby walked over to John trying to rip him away but he only squirmed out of his grip and got back to his position in front of the demon.

"There is something big, John… coming… and it wants Sam". Tears rolled down her cheek making this seem as believable as possible.

"What is coming for Sam and why?"

"JOHN!" Bobby tried once more to rip John away but this time John put in more force getting out of Bobby's grip throwing him into the wall behind them causing him to lose his balance and fall.

"The one you're looking for, John… the one that killed Mary. It is coming for you, John, you and your boys! You don't have to hunt… you don't have to search… it will find you… it will find Samuel too... You brought this on your boy John Winchester."

Strong winds started to float through the room again as Bobby had gotten to his feet and picked up the book, continuing with the exorcism.

"Don't you do this, Bobby" John turned facing his friend. "I need to know this, if something is after my boys, I need to know." He screamed over the noise of the winds.

"You can't believe it, John. It's a trick!" Bobby screamed back and got back to the Latin chant.

John got back to the demon. Even with the risk of being so close to a demon during an exorcism he had to know.

"Tell me!" He screamed into the eyes that had turned black again. "Tell me."

Suddenly something powerful knocked John backwards into the wall causing him to hit his head almost knocking him out. He looked up at Bobby chanting the last part of the exorcism. He got to his feet and tackled Bobby just as he finished the chant, knowing it was too late. From the floor both men looked at the black smoke shoot out from the girl's mouth into the painted Solomon's key in the ceiling.

"What did you do!?!" John shoved Bobby as they were both getting to their feet and walked over to the girl, not sure if she was alive or not. Blood was dripping out of her mouth and her skin was white-pale. Suddenly she drew a deep, sucking breath. John lifted her head carefully with both his hands looking into eyes that already seemed dead. Still, he wasn't about to give up just yet.

"Was it telling the truth?" John asked softly, aware that she too was a victim and not any kind of evil anymore. "Was it telling the truth about Sam?"

"John?" Bobby tried to make contact but with no luck.

"Sam…" She echoed John and tried to take another deep breath. "They want your son…in the fight" She started to cough and John knew she didn't have much time left, that he didn't have much time left.

"What fight? Tell me what fight? Why do they need Sam?" John's frustration was clear as her body was going numb seconds away from being another lifeless corpse. Before she closed her eyes she looked straight into John eyes and whispered "Colt… special… colt… one of a kind… is the key… if you have the colt… you can keep Samuel safe." Then she was gone.

John gently closed her blank eyes then let go of her face letting it drop to a lifeless position where she sat and he backed away until his back hit the wall, covering his mouth with his hand. He wasn't sure if he wanted to throw up or not and realized he hadn't been this worried since the day Mary had… He couldn't even finish his own thoughts.

"Go get some air" Bobby walked up to John and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You go... I will take care of her body, okay?" John nodded, turned and left the room as it was.

About twenty minutes later Bobby came out of the brick building finding John sitting on the hood of the car, his back towards the building.

"You okay, John?" Bobby asked looking concerned.

"I'm…" He sighed. "I'm fine." He looked up at Bobby, his eyes red as if he had been crying though he was now back to the 'normal' Winchester facial expression, hard and determined.

"Listen… you can't believe what she said? They lie… they lie!" Bobby tried to argue.

"I know…" John looked the other way. It's just that… it felt real… I know it was some truth in it and I have to know the rest now too.

"Hey… you dropped this inside" He handed John's wallet over to him on top of it were a picture of a child. "It must have fallen out?"

John took the wallet and looked at the picture. It was of Sam from when he was five years old on one of their better days and John was glad that he had it documented in a photo. Their family wasn't the ones wanting memories of what they did. Most of the time they just wanted to forget. Still John had four pictures in his wallet. One of him and his boys sitting on the back of a truck from the time they went fishing, behind that picture he had one of Dean and this one of Sam. Most hidden he had a small picture of Mary. He never took it out to look at it, he couldn't because it hurt too much, still knowing that it was there, that she was with him comforted him in a way he was unable to explain. My Sam… I will find out what this means, Sam… even if it kills me I will find out what it means and I will find a way to stop it. I swear to God, Mary I will save our boy!


That was the beginning… if you read the whole chapter, regardless of you wanting to come back or not (though hope you will come back) please leave me feedback. Feel free to speak your mind as long as things are constructive or just being nice. Thank you for reading this much… hope to have you with me till the end.

Thanks - CatBeist