Summary: Lindsay makes a mistake at job, but Danny is with her, from different POV, M&Ms all the way

Rating:T (it could be K but just to be sure)

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, I just like to fantasize about them….

A Huge Thanks to Sharon (notesofwimsey) for helping me with my English and for the beta'ing…

N/A : the story takes place after S3 and after my previous FF 'not alone anymore', even if it's not necessary to read it before this one…

I hope you enjoy it, please R&R, I'd like to know what you think…

Nothing more than you

We're in an apartment, with two victims, both very young guys. Too young. They were part of a gang and it seems like there was an execution.

I still can't understand. How could young people like them die in this way?

"Don't think that, Montana."

I know he can read my mind.

"They were so young."

"They were old enough to carry a gun, so they were old enough to be killed."

The tone is dry and merciless, but I know he isn't so cynical. That's just his way to protect himself from being affected.

Suddenly a shadow runs through the room – he is escaping down the emergency stairs. Danny is behind him. "Call the cops," he shouts.

I run out, calling for the cops and we are on the street. I turn the corner and I see Danny run after the boy, but I see another boy behind him – he's armed and he could shoot Danny. I shout, "Danny, look out!" but he can't hear me. I scream again, but the boy doesn't drop the gun. I can't let him shoot Danny… I have to do something…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hear Lindsay's voice – she's screaming something – then I hear the shot. I turn and see the guy. He's fourteen, and he's armed, and he's falling down…

Montana has shot him.

I go nearer and I take his pulse. He's dead.

Then my attention is captured by the gun – it's a toy. It is really similar to a real gun, but it's still a toy. I close my eyes – merda – this means a lot of trouble.

Lindsay is coming, "Is he dead?"

I can't answer. I just look at her. I know what she's thinking and I know she will feel guilty.

"Oh my god… he is a child." Then she looks at the gun and she realizes everything. Tears start to come into her eyes, "I didn't know… I've killed a unarmed boy."

I take her hands, "Look at me Montana… it isn't your fault. You couldn't see that the gun was a toy… You just saved my life."

She doesn't believe me. She has never killed anyone and she can't forgive herself, but for her sanity she will have to do it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

­

I can't believe it. An easy crime scene – so simple – yet two of my best CSIs are involved in a gunfight. A fourteen year old killed and I haven't yet had an explanation. It's incredible. I look at them and they must see the concern on my face,

"Now, can you explain exactly what happened?"

Danny is the first to answer – Lindsay is still too shocked – but I need to hear what happened from her.

"Mac, I was running after the boy. I didn't see the other one behind me, until I hear Lindsay shouting and then I heard the shot and …"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you follow the boy?"

"I'm a cop – he was escaping from a crime scene. What was I supposed to do?"

"Maybe you could wait for the other officers?"

Danny is looking at me in a strange way. He doesn't understand my point.

"It's not his fault, Mac. I made a mistake. I didn't notice that the gun was a toy. I believed he would kill Danny."

Lindsay has finally spoken up – some people are very easy and these two are even easier than most. I know what's going on between them, and today I have another confirmation to my suspicions. They are worried for each other, and I know that this could be a problem if IAB interrogate them together.

"Lindsay, I know you didn't notice, but what I want to know is if you had another choice?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now Mac is going over board. Lindsay is feeling shocked and guilty and he is asking her if she had another choice? I look at her and she's trying to stop the tears.

"Come on Mac, she thought he was going to kill me! She just did what everyone would have done in the same situation."

"For example, you, Danny?" Mac has raised his eyebrow.

"Yes, Mac. I would have done the same."

"Because you love her as much as she loves you."

Did Mac just say what I think he did?

"Mac, how do you know?"

"I'm not blind, Danny. Everyone here knows… Lindsay, would you have done the same if it wasn't Danny in danger?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hear the question and I can't answer… I don't know what to say, because I know the answer too well… no, I wouldn't have done the same if it hadn't been Danny. I would have waited, gone nearer. Maybe I would have noticed the toy and I wouldn't have shot.

But Danny was in danger and the only thing I thought was that I couldn't lose him – I just can't imagine my life without him, and I was scared – I was so scared that something bad could happen to him…

"I guess your silence is my answer," Mac says.

I can't look at him, so I look at Danny. He's frustrated

"Mac, give her a break! Everything was so fast – she really can't answer a question like that."

Mac is looking at Danny in a severe way. "Tomorrow IAB will be here. What I want from you is to answer their questions – nothing more. Don't express your opinions. Don't give them any reason to doubt your version. And now go home and get some rest."

He nods at me, and then he looks intensely in Danny's eyes.

"Take care of her."

"I will."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's late at night, and this is one of the longest nights in my life. She can't sleep and I know that she's sitting on her chair in the living room looking out of the windows…

"Her" chair: that was the only thing she took here when we started living together. It had been her grandma's chair, an old and very comfortable one. She sits there every time she needs to feel better. We sit there almost every evening just happy to be together…

I know she wants to be alone – that's her way to cope with her troubles, but this time I won't let her do that. Tonight she needs me.

I get up from bed and go to the living room. She's on her chair looking out, the lights of the city lighting her face, tears falling down her cheeks. "Lindsay…"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hear him calling my name. His tone is so tender and worried that it almost hurts me. I can't look at him.

"He was almost a child, Danny. I killed him just because I wasn't able to control my fear."

"Don't do that Lindsay, don't blame yourself. You're human and humans make mistakes."

"I'm a cop, Danny…"

He doesn't let me finish, taking my hands, "Look at me, Linds. He wasn't a child – he was on a crime scene. He probably was a partner in a crime. He was following me with a gun in his hand…"

"That was a toy, Danny," I protest.

"You didn't know that. You thought he would kill me. You did what you believed was right…"

"But I was wrong… I'm a murderer. How can you want to stay with me anymore?"

Concerned by my words, he holds me in his arms, and then shifts me, to sit on the chair and let me sit on his legs. "Lindsay, you are one of the best CSIs I've ever known, and for sure you're the best person I've ever met. I love you and I trust you. There's nothing I want more than to be with you."

I know he means every word he has said. I rest my head on his chest and he kisses my forehead.

I wish time could stop and that this moment could last forever.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm nervous. The man in front of me knows that. I'm trying to do what Mac and Danny have told me: just answer his questions.

I've explained what happened; then he asked me if I could have done something different. I say that I had no choice.

I don't think he agrees. I see disbelief in his eyes. He doesn't ask about Danny and me. How could he? He is supposed to know nothing about it.

He dismisses me and I take a deep breath.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's something I don't get. Her career has been almost perfect. She's almost never used her gun, and now she has killed an unarmed boy.

Her version could be true, but it doesn't convince me. There's something she didn't say and maybe I can get my answers from her partner.

He enters the room, looking worried and angry. I guess he's worried for his co-worker and he's angry with me.

"Detective Messer… it has been a long time since the last one."

"You know – bad grass never dies."

"Are you referring to me or to yourself?"

"I guess either."

I have to confess I like his witty comments. He repeats what I've already heard.

"Do you think Detective Monroe could have done anything differently?"

"No. She did the only thing she could…"

"How can you be so sure? She was behind you!"

"'Cause I know her."

He says it simply and something in his eyes tells me everything.

"Do you two have a relationship, detective?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What in hell is he asking? I'm trying to be calm but this man just seems to bring out the worst in me.

"We're friends."

"I mean an intimate relationship."

"I mean friends."

"Detective Messer, I have to know if Detective Monroe's feelings could have influenced her actions."

I hate him. I just want to get out of here without hitting him.

"No… what you have to know is that Lindsay Monroe is one of the best police officers I know. She is a good person and she would have never shot that guy if she had had another choice."

He's looking at me. I don't know what he's thinking, and I don't know what to think now.

"You can go, detective."

Thank God. I need some air.

Now the only thing we can do is wait.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What? Are you kidding me?"

Danny is evidently upset. He cannot believe what I've said.

"No Danny, I'm serious. Lindsay has an official mark on her file, and you're both under observation. Plus you can't work together for at least six months."

"Both? Why? Danny didn't do anything."

Lindsay feels guilty and her eyes are so sad.

"IAB thinks that your mutual feelings could influence your job."

Danny's eyes talk for him.

"Mac that's bullshit! We have been together for six months and it's never influenced our job."

"Until Lindsay shot a unarmed boy."

My last words hurt them, but I haven't any choice.

"Listen to me. They wanted to transfer one of you two and asked me to choose which one. I couldn't allow that – you're two of my best CSIs – so I offered to keep you apart during the job. Of course you can work together on the same file, but you can't go to the field together. And that's all. I don't want to hear any protests from you – just do your jobs."

I know they'll do that, and I know Danny is angry, but they'll understand.

"You can go now."

"Thanks Mac," Danny is looking at me and I know he means that.

As they exit my office, Danny puts a hand on Lindsay's back. In that simple gesture, I see protectiveness, affection, warmth – in one word, I see love.

I can't help smiling: I once said that it could be happen to him too.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bad grass never dies, is the translation of the Italian saying "l'erba cattiva non muore mai", the equivalent in English might be "'A bad penny always turns up again.' (thanks Sharon)