WE CAN DO THIS, SIMPLE AND PLAIN, THIS LOVE IS A SURE THING…
I was going to scream, anyway. Which is what made the fact that Jacob was shaking me awake nearly comical. My nightmare, I knew, must have been disturbing him. I could feel myself toss and turn. even in my sleep, I was fretful. It happened sometimes; along with the nightmares I would toss and turn, scream and moan. He must have wanted to stop me from screaming, I reasoned, because I was in Billy's house. I was dimly aware of this fact though, because Jacob was already screaming? My head was too cloudy to interpret his words right away. I was confused, not yet lucid, because I had been woken up abruptly at the moment I was about to wake up all by myself. It sounds stupid, I know, but it made me feel dizzy with incomprehension. His face and his words slowly came into focus.
"Bleeding, Bella, you're bleeding!" he screamed into my face. That made me even more confused for all of two seconds, and then it made me scared. I tried to ask him where, why, how this was happening in my life. Had Vitoria been attacking me and he came to my rescue? No, I knew that was not the case at all, because the blood stains in the sheets led the trail up, disappearing between my legs. I wanted to scream too, but I didn't know where my voice was.I looked up at Jacob questioningly, and realized with a substantial twinge in my heart, he was looking extremely worried at me. I was scared because I was expecting him to be strong. On some distant level my mind registered that I needed to pee real bad, as had been the case ever since the baby began to sit on my bladder. I realized in that instant that peeing would be the least of my worries, but I had to go. And I had to get out of these clothes and to a doctor. And I had to comfort Jacob, because he looked so scared. All these things passed quickly through my mind. Or so I thought. Jacob was asking me what happened, urgently. It made me sure he had asked this already, at least a few times. Did I have to pee so bad that I couldn't focus? Or had a lost that much blood? I blacked out.
Coming back to the present made me very aware that it smelled like rust and salt, and I was dizzy with it filling my nostrils, clouding around me, clinging to the sheets. I heard Jacob scream something in the distance of the darkness, his pain washed over me in waves, but I was too far gone to feel anything for him. When I came to, I was on the floor, covered in my own sweat, my own blood, and Jacobs tears. I was in his lap, one of his hands on my stomach, the other knotted in my hair. The scent of blood was almost enough to take me back under.
"Jake?" my voice was horse, how long had it been since I had something to drink? Why did that matter?
"Bella, oh thank God! I was so worried. We were all worried. We were about to call an ambulance." Jacob answered, through kisses to my forehead.
"What happened?" I asked, scared of the answer.
"Dad heard you in my room screaming your head off he says, and found you bleeding. He called Emily, to reach Sam, to get to me" It was weird, but I could imagine Sam waking up in the middle of the night, Emily handing him the phone, and Sam having to turn into a wolf in order to communicate with Jacob. I looked up and saw Sam, I shuddered. Emily was there too, along with Sue Clearwater. If I wasn't already worked up I would feel weird about all these people crowding around me, while I was in nothing but an old t-shirt of Jacobs and some of his boxers. Both soaked through with my blood. There were more pressing matters, though, and if I were being completely honest I'd say I was dreading the moment when I would have to ask
"The baby?" my voice cracked. I needed water.
"Should be fine, happens all the time" I heard Billy speak, as he wheeled himself into Jacobs already cramped room. Jacob glared at the old man I wondered why. If maybe Jacob was blaming him for not taking care of me? Billy was carrying water, God bless that man, I had never been happier to see him. I smiled gratefully as he handed me the glass and all of the water was gone entirely too soon.
"What happens all the time, exactly?" I asked Billy. Jacob answered instead
"the blood, it means you're going into labor." he whispered. I passed out again, this time not from the scent of blood.
It was almost like a game, every time I passed out, it seemed, I awoke in a different place than I had been when I passed out. I was back on the bed. Everyone was gone, expect Jacob and Steven. Steven sat beside me, Jacob was rummaging through his closet.
"Jake" I said, he turned around, a relieved grin spreading across his face.
"I was looking for some of my clothes that would fit you, we need to take you to the hospital and soon. When the blood stops, your water is going to break, and I understand that labor with a child who contains the wolf gene is not pleasant" his relieved grin turning apologetic. I sighed, I didn't know what to say. This was all very sudden, mostly because no one knew how much time it took, with the accelerated growth and all. It was different for every member of this tribe, Jake told me. I knew it would be unexpected, but I honestly had thought I had more time. Steven kissed my head, got up, and left. It wasn't like the way Jacob kissed my head, but it was still comforting, brotherly. The way I imagine it would have felt if Emmet had ever slowed down enough to kiss me.
Jacob took Steven's place on the bed, and held me. "Dad thought I already knew to expect blood. He wasn't sure why I was freaking" Jake said. That was the reason for the glare. I couldn't return his smile.
"you're not happy?" he asked softly. He sounded so hurt, I started to cry
"I am" I sobbed, trying to sooth him. And I wasn't really lying, I thought, because I wasn't exactly sad. I was scared.
"you're worried" he guessed. It was if he had plucked the thought right off of the tip of my brain. It was still sweet and unsettling, the way he could read my mind, especially after I had met an actual mind reader and he could do nothing of the sort to me. I smiled though my tears
"Yes, very." I sighed again.
"Well, me too, but I am also excited. I love you, and you love me. We created a child out of our love for each other" his brows pulled together in an adorably expression of confusion and fear?"Its beautiful" I answered. The relieved grin came back. And it was beautiful, because of exactly what he said. We loved each other, what better way to bring a baby into the world? None that I could think of. This was a new life we were starting, by starting a new life. It was sweet, but more than a little scary. I mean I had always taken care of myself, and my mother. I could cook and clean and I was smart enough to help him with school work. And I knew I loved my baby more than the waking world, but I couldn't help being afraid that I would somehow mess this all up.
"I'm here for you, Bella, we'll do it together" he said. That was enough to placate me. At least for now.
So I got dressed in some of Jacobs old sweat pants, because they had a draw string, and another shirt. Jacob stayed in the back seat of the car with me, Steven drove us to the hospital. Billy and the others rode separately, and he promised to call Charlie for me. Billy, was such a life saver this night.
(FANCY PAGE BREAK)
I hadn't seen the bright lights of the Forks hospital since that time Tyler Crowley nearly squashed me with his car. I had been in other hospitals since then, though. There was that time James had tried to video tape my murder, to start a fight with Edward. I didn't like this particular trip down memory lane, and focused instead on the nurse who was wheeling me into a room down the hall. Her skin was caramel colored, and it matched her hair perfectly. Her lips and eyes were both big, wide, and really sexy. Both covered in makeup. She looked like she should model, she was tall and thin and was wearing kitten heels to match her makeup and uniform, as opposed to the other nurses, who wore comfortable sneakers all day and didn't bother with makeup. I wondered about this briefly, why on earth would you hurt your feet all day? The answer came to me before the question fully formed in my mind. To impress someone. I had an idea of who that could be and I hoped against hope that this was one of the times the Cullen's had taken a "family vacation." please, please, please, I thought, let them be away hunting. Stupid Bella.
I had just settled into my room with Jacob on one side of me and Steven on the other, when Carlisle walked in, with all his movie star glory. He was still just as handsome as the day we'd met. The look of shock mirrored my own for all of five seconds, until his features smoothed out in a mask of professionalism. I didn't know if it was his vampire nature or just the simple fact that he was a doctor that allowed him to hide his emotions so well in the hospital. My wolves were not so trained. He grabbed my chart from the bottom of my hospital bed.
"Vampire!" they both spat, nostrils flaring. This was not the time to start WWIII, dammit, I was trying to push a living human out of me. Which I think is the only thing that saved us. Carlisle was in the middle of explaining the fact that he was the only doctor working, to my wolves, when the first contraction hit.I caught Steven giving Carlisle the middle finger before I doubled over with pain. Well doubled over as far as a could, bending that way was awkward, because of my enormous stomach. I felt the pain travel up my spine, and I winced. I could hardly muster up the energy to tell Carlisle to provide drugs, and fast!He stuck me in the back and I moaned. Jacob squeezed one hand, Steven caught the other. The fight was over, I was the center of attention. For once I was glad to be. I was sure the two wolves would have gotten hurt trying to rip Carlisle apart. I was more worried for them, not that I didn't think the two of them could take him, he was only one lone vampire, and I knew they were not as indestructible as I had once thought. It really said something about how much I changed, I used to be sure nothing could beat a vampire. Now I was a wolf girl.
Carlisle took my temperature and pulse. Timed the contractions. Said a lot of things I couldn't hear through the pain that had dulled, but did not completely leave me. Jacob told me it would be difficult. I knew it was that damn wolf gene and I was tempted to kill Jacob later for this. But I couldn't stay consistently mad. For one the pain was too intense to focus consistently, and two, Jacob wouldn't stop apologizing and kissing me. He sounded close to tears. In between contractions I had enough decency to feel ashamed of myself. Until the pain started back up, then I was back to despising Jacob. And Steven for that matter, simply because he was a werewolf, least the pain was too intense to be embarrassed at Carlisle having to open my legs. I'd save it for later.
"..ten centimeters" I heard him say, I had lost the beginning. But I knew that it meant the baby was coming. I pushed when Carlisle told me to, and relaxed when he said it was okay. It felt like forever, really it was only the better part of an hour that I was pushing. The contractions had lasted a bit longer. It hurt, I panted. I clawed Jacob and Steven. Those out in the waiting area, including Charlie and Billy, would be glad they were not here for my shrieking string of profanities. Steven and Jacob, were trying to stifle their laughter. I'd strangle them both later.I almost passed out when it was over it hurt so bad. They had ripped me apart and had stitched me back up. I felt sick from the pain that traveled from between my legs, all up my back, stopping after hammering in my skull.
I heard my son crying and I started too. Then Jacob started too. He whispered that he was happy, and he thanked me, also he said that he was so very sorry that it had hurt. We were looking into each others eyes, with an understanding of contentment; I forgave him, and we loved each other. I guess, this time, I wouldn't strangle him for being a wolf.
"It's a beautiful baby girl" Carlisle whispered, handing her to the nurse to be cleaned off.
Jacob and I both looked at each other with perfect twin expressions of awe, and then at Carlisle. He laughed. It was the first time I had seen him being his old self since he walked in and had to avoid fighting with my two wolves.
"Thought you were having a boy, I take it?" he said, laughing again. His voice musical, almost as much as Edwards had been. Maybe it was the fact that I had just finished pushing out Jacobs child, but the hole in my chest didn't ache when I thought this. Which was such a Relief.
"Well, the pregnancy was so fast we thought…" I trialed off at the confused expression on Carlisle's face. He knew nothing about the wolves, really. I suddenly felt that I would be betraying secrets if I let him in on wolf mechanics now.
"yes, we thought it was a boy" Jacob answered, and he almost managed to keep the snarl out of his voice. He was grateful to Carlisle for having delivered our baby, keeping us both safe. He said as much, with his voice tight as if I were pinching him and forcing him to be civil to the doctor. It softened when he spoke to me
"I'm still happy, she's beautiful Bella." I looked over to see what he saw, she was all clean and he was right, she was very, very beautiful. She had golden skin, a few shades lighter than Jacobs, having been diluted with my own pale skin. Thank the Heavens, she ran at a normal temperature. Her eyes were closed, so we had no idea what color they were, but her hair was the same chocolate brown as mine, and there was lots of it, thick and shiny. Her cheeks were high, and her lips were a thin ribbon of pink silk.
Carlisle took both our vitals, and told as and the nurses he would prescribe some pain medication for me which I was grateful for, and then he slipped out in that silent way vampires always managed perfectly.
Charlie and Billy came in shortly after the nurse handed my daughter back to me, after a vaccination for hepatitis. One of many they said. I felt bad, she cried when the needle stuck her. I was glad when they gave her back to me she felt tiny and secure in my arms. And she was quiet, although Jacob had made it very clear that he did not want hem to give her a pacifier since weaning children off of them is so difficult. Jacob, who couldn't wait to take her from me, was glad too. He was respectful, gave me a moment to bond, and then wanted his own moment. Steven left to get our dads. We switched again when they came in and I was glad to hold her, something I knew I would never tire of although I was very aware of the fact that she would get spoiled and would want to be picked up all the time.
Billy and Charlie both came in, hands outstretched to Jacob. Charlie put a vase with flowers on my bedside table, clearly he ran to the gift shop before he came down here, since no store was open, it was the middle of the night. Billy expressed his surprise that it was a girl. I knew this was big news, since it was suppose to be a boy since it grew the way a wolf would have. I would be curious about what this meant, later. Charlie put his hand on my shoulder and smiled down at the baby in my arms.
"She's beautiful, Bells. She looks just like you did when I held you in the hospital" Charlie said, looking proud. I laughed a little and called him 'Gramps.'
"as soon as you feel better, you're grounded for that comment" he answered. We all howled with laughter. Quil and Embry both came in after our dads had left. They snapped pictures which I was sure I looked terrible in, they made corny jokes. I was beginning to feel sleepy from the IV. Jacob shooed the boys out.
I woke up a few hours later, whatever Carlisle had given me it wasn't strong enough to keep me sleeping through the rest of the night. I was grateful for that. Jacob had our daughter in his arms, he was feeding her formula from a bottle that looked bigger than she was, from my perspective. I smiled.
"I love you both" I said. Jacob looked up and smiled back.
"I'd come kiss you, but she looks comfortable" he said, apologetically.
"I'd come kiss you, but I'm sure it hurts to walk" I said in the same tone. We both laughed.
"We need a name" I said. This was strange, we had a boys name picked out so long ago. We fought all day and decided on the perfect one. Now I felt a bit sad, as if it had gone to waste.
"You owe me a son" I said to Jacob, laughing at him, because I knew beyond a doubt that if his hands had been free, he would have given me the finger in a very Steven-like fashion, who was always flipping me off. The formula ran out, and she was fast asleep like any good baby. Jacob handed her to me and I swear I fell in love with her all over again. She was perfect and I was so happy. My eyes welled up with tears and Jacob looked entirely too proud of himself.
"Hey, shut up, it takes two, you know" I laughed.
"Now you're reading my mind?" he looked generally shocked. It was my turn to look proud."The vampire came back when you were passed out, says you can leave today, they just want to run some tests on 'Baby Black' first" Jacob informed me. I frowned, I would talk to him later about referring to Carlisle as only a vampire, because he was also the doctor who delivered our baby. But, what bothered me about his sentence, was the 'Baby Black' that was no kind of name for our daughter. Jacob noticed my frown. "yeah, I know. We'll spend the day working on it."
My frown deepened. I wish we had prepared for this. Not having a backup name made me feel more immature than any of the stupid things I had done thus far. And that included dropping out of school and running away. If I were being completely honest I hadn't cared about school for the longest time, but I still should have finished. I should have stayed. We both should have stayed.
Thinking that made me feel silly, because I really didn't regret running away with Jacob, falling in love, or our baby. But I felt like I should be a little more sorry for my rash decisions. I had never been 'that girl' who got knocked up, or dropped out, or married too early. I was usually much more responsible. Jacob, it could be argued, brought out the worst in me. Or the best in me. Depends on how you looked at it. In some ways, he made me way more free, and it was a wonderful feeling. But at the same time I was not being responsible with my freedom and that was bad I guess. Even though it didn't feel wrong. With Edward, I also had neglected responsibilities because I thought he was all that mattered, the difference was, Edward had tried to keep me on track. Edward would be the one to try to use his super human speed to save me from falling off of a motorcycle, Jacob would let me fall. I could even imagine him laughing about my clumsy nature. That was more what I was looking for right about now. I didn't need someone acting as a superior being, an all knowing parental figure. I needed someone on my level, who would let me make my mistakes, would make their own, and would be able to laugh with me about our stupidity.
"We're stupid" I told him. I laughed whole heartedly and I knew he agreed because he laughed just as much. He kissed my nose.
"You're very silly, Bella" he told me. Stupid Bella was more like it. But I didn't say anything.
"Your house or mine?" I asked, instead. He smiled widely.
"Mine. So you will be protected, of course." he was so happy to have us that he didn't even want us a few miles away from him, I knew. Maybe I could almost read his mind. Imprint magic? I wasn't sure. I didn't care. I was happy. Until they wheeled my baby away for some testing. I frowned even more when Jacob left to allow Emily, Sam, and Billy in. There was a limit on how many people could be in a room at one time.
I still felt weird around Sam even though I knew I shouldn't. He came to check up on me, he rescued me from the woods, clearly he wasn't that bad of a guy. And he carried a car seat. Brand new. I was about to tell him that I had every intention of sending Steven to get us one, when he cut me off
"Jacob told us how you're weird about gifts, but we bought this long ago…" he trailed off and he and Emily looked at each other for one moment. I understood clearly, they had been trying to have a baby and had failed. I blushed, it was a sensitive subject. I felt weird because I had just had a baby, and it hadn't even been planned and two people that wanted one, couldn't make one. I smiled and said thank you, Sam. Emily hugged me. She stayed after Same and Billy exited back out of the room.
"They have official business, now. Your having a girl has really caused a heap of chaos on the reservation." Emily informed me brightly. I blushed again.
"Girls don't usually carry the gene, and they think it has something to do with all the vampires around and they are worried about what it means for the rest of the females of our tribe. They might all start turning now, after…" she trailed off and shook her head no.
"I'll let Jake tell you" she promised. That aggravated my curiosity in a major way, a dangerous thing. I wanted to press her, but Carlisle came in before I got the chance too. So any pack secrets I could have possible gotten out of my new friend, went out of the window. Emily left, but she did smile in Carlisle's direction and I was glad that at least some one from la push had some sense to be decent. "Doctor Carlisle" I said formally.
"Bella" he said and it sounded like, well almost the way Edward said my name. like it was full of adoration, but not in a creepy way, don't get me wrong. But it bothered me. I looked at him questioningly. He crossed the short distance between us, and he hugged me. Professional mask melted. I hugged him back on impulse. After spending so much time with wolves I had forgotten just how cold the vampires were. I shivered a little because of the shock. It made me think of Edward.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, and I thought his mask was back. But I looked into his eyes and they were not that stony gaze any longer. Liquid gold.
"I feel sore" I answered honestly
"But I'm good. I'm happy" I heard myself tell him. The hole in my chest ached a little, I missed Jacob and my daughter 'Baby Black' they kept me strong.I wondered if when I told him that I was sore, if he heard the bitter, accusing edge to my tone.
"We all miss you, Bella. Alice saw all of this and really wanted to come with us."
"Alice?" I asked. My voice was awed. She had abandoned me with the others, but I kind of wished she had come with- wait what had he said?
"Us?" I asked suspiciously, on some level I was sure it was Esme, but on the other, I was sure I knew.
"I couldn't stop him, I tried." I felt as though Carlisle were lying.
"Edward?" I asked shakily. I thought I might pass out again, and almost giggled thinking about where I'd wake up next time.
"everyone wanted to make sure you were well" Carlisle answered, before his son walked through my door.
a/n : Dun Dun Dun *ominous music*
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