Title: I'm Not Speaking to You
Fandoms: HL and Singin' in the Rain – the movie
Characters: Duncan MacLeod, Methos & Cosmo Brown
Disclaimer: The characters you know and love all belong to their respective creators.
Summary: It been two weeks since the events in Dignity. Always, Dignity. Duncan is still angry but Cosmo is in trouble and needs his help.
A/N: This is for strainconductor. It's her fault that I made Cosmo Immortal in the first place and much like Duncan I can not seem to get rid of him. Pretty sure he'll be back. :)
I'm Not Speaking to You
Duncan stepped into the elevator that led to his apartment above the Dojo. The Buzz told him that someone was waiting for him. It was probably Richie. Instead, he opened the elevator gate to see Cosmo Brown lounging on his coach.
He barely stopped to look at the diminutive Immortal as he headed toward his kitchen area, "Out. Now!" he barked.
"Aw, come on, Mac don't be that way," Cosmo moved to perch on the back of the coach.
"Not speaking to you," Duncan began unloading the groceries he'd carried in.
"You used to have a better sense of humor. It's been two weeks; you can't still be mad."
"I can be and I am."
"It was no big deal"
"No big deal," Mac whirled to face his unwanted guest. "You gave a copy of that movie to Richie and then you convinced Joe to show after hours at the bar for my friends. The whole time you did a running commentary designed to entertain them and humiliate me. So yes, I am still mad.'
"Thought you weren't speaking to me," Cosmo smirked, "because that sure sounded like your voice."
Duncan turned to glare at Cosmo, "How did you get in here anyway?"
"Seriously Mac, did you forget I spent almost a decade traveling with Amanda."
"Oh god, how could I have forgotten? Thanks for reminding me." Thinking about Cosmo and Amanda together always made his head hurt."
"So, what's for dinner?"
"What do you want, Cosmo?" annoyance threatening to spill into full blown anger.
"Ah let's see, I want world peace, a cure for cancer and a steak dinner. Not necessarily in that order."
"Very funny," Mac pushed past Cosmo to enter his living room. That was when he noticed the pieces of what looked like his VCR strewn across his coffee table. "Cosmo, what is this?'
"Looks like a VCR. Hey, ever thought about getting a DVD player?"
"I know it's a VCR…"
"Then why did you ask?" Cosmo interrupted.
Duncan took a deep breath and paused willing himself not to strangle the man. "Why is it in pieces on my coffee table?"
"Oh that. I got tired waiting for you. So thought I'd watch a movie but I couldn't get it to work so…," He shrugged indicating the result of his boredom.
"Fine, just put it back to together." Mac sighed.
"Sure, got any glue."
"Did I mention that you should really upgrade to a DVD player?"
Duncan was fuming. He'd call Richie later to put the damn thing back together but right now he needed Cosmo gone. "Leave now!"
"You never said what's for dinner. I might want to stay."
Duncan took two steps toward the smaller Immortal who threw his hands up in surrender. "Fine I'll go. I know when I'm not wanted."
"Obviously not because you're still standing there," Duncan groused.
"Come on, Mac let's make up and be friends again."
Duncan started mumbling to himself, "I want him gone. He says he'll go but he's still here."
"Can you speak up; I didn't catch the entire crazy old man monologue."
"Okay, Cosmo you can stay but only if you tell me why you're really here. Not some silly made up quip. The real reason you feel the need to hide out in my apartment." Duncan turned the full force of his glare on Cosmo.
"Oh my, look at the time. I really must be going."
"Cosmo!" Duncan was wondering if Immortals could still get headaches because he felt a doosy coming on. "The truth or I'll throw you out by force and it won't be through the door"
"Mac, I'm hurt. Why do you think I want anything more than to patch up my friendship with my favorite Highlander?"
"Because it wouldn't be the first time you tried to hide out in my apartment."
A banging at his door snapped Mac awake and the same time the Buzz of another Immortal hit him.
"Mac, let me in." Duncan recognized the voice of Cosmo Brown. Cosmo was the musical director at Monumental studios where Duncan was the lead stunt coordinator. The two were friends but sometimes Cosmo was just plain trouble. He looked at the clock, 2:00 a.m. Chances were this was one of those times.
Duncan crossed the sizable efficiency apartment to open the door on a disheveled and frantic Cosmo. "What the hell are you doing here, its 2 a.m.?" Duncan groused.
"I tried to call but you didn't answer your phone."
"Cosmo, you know I don't have a phone."
"Oh, that explains why you ddin't answer," he smirked. "You really should get a phone."
"Would it stop you from waking me up in the middle of the night?" Duncan glared at his friend who just shrugged, "I thought not. So no, not getting a phone."
"Mind if I sleep on your sofa."
"What's going on? What did you do?" Mac was tired and Cosmo required a lot of energy.
Cosmo got quiet and sighed, "I need your help. You have to fight him for me."
Duncan dragged and across his face, trying to dispel the bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. "I knew this would happen. You can't run forever and you're not dedicated to your training."
"Come on Mac. I'm working at it but I'll never be that good and this guy's a killer."
"We're all killers, Cosmo. You just now getting that idea after a hundred years."
Cosmo frowned and looked at Mac like he was seeing him for the first time. "You've killed a lot of Immortals haven't you?"
Mac rolled his eyes, "Why don't you run away. It's worked for you in the past."
"I like this life and don't want to give it up yet. Come on Mac, you owe me."
Incredulous Mac demanded, "How do you figure that I owe you?"
"I got you the job at Monumental. The glamor and excitement of being in the movies, all me."
Duncan shook his head, "And you think that's worth risking my life. Who is this guy and why is he after you?"
Before Cosmo could answer there was the tell tale Immortal Buzz followed by a pounding on the door and then a gruff voice bellowed, "I know you're in there, runt."
"Him! I need you to kill him!" Cosmo pointed at the door.
"Cosmo, he's more than just trying to challenge you. That guy is pissed. What did you do?"
"I'm a friendly guy. Everybody loves me. Just ask my fans."
The pounding continued. "Runt, I'm gonna rip your head off with my bare hands."
"See my fans just want to be close to me, "Cosmo chuckled nervously. "Mac, you have to help me. Don and Kathy are getting married on Saturday. How would it look if the best man had no head?"
Mac sighed and nodded. Cosmo flung himself at the Highlander. "I love my manly Scottish friend."
Mac pushed him away, "I'm doing this for Don and Kathy, not you. I don't want them upset over your death on their wedding day."
Cosmo opened his mouth to retort but Duncan had already walked past him to address the Immortal through the door.
"Hey you! Quiet down and let's discuss this."
The stranger stopped pounding but the fury in his voice was unmistakable. "The runt is gonna pay. Simple as that."
Duncan heard a sound behind him. He turned to see Cosmo trying to sneak out the window. He moved to grab him, "Oh no you don't. I may be willing to fight your battles but only after you apologize."
"Mac, I'm totally innocent. He's just crazy." The pounding and yelling had begun again. Cosmo gestured at the noise coming from the hall, "See."
"Stay!" Mac pointed a finger at Cosmo and went to open the door. He grabbed his sword and placed it within easy reach of the door.
Duncan opened the door on a giant of a man. Bald, broad and easily 6'4". Duncan took a step back. No wonder Cosmo ran . This guy would have broken him like a twig.
Mac held out his hand tentatively, the other ready to grab his sword. "Duncan McLeod."
The giant scowled down at him, "Leonard Mills. I have no beef with you. Just stay out of my way while I take the piano players head and then I'll be gone."
Mac shifted to stay between Leonard and Cosmo, "I'm afraid I can't let you do that. How about just walking away and everyone gets to keep their heads."
The giant shot Mac an incredulous look.
Mac let a small smile escape his lips, "Yeah, Cosmo has that affect on people."
"Hey, I resent that," Cosmo interjected, "I'm lovable."
"Cosmo, stay out of this."
"He stole my girl. I'm taking his head." Leonard eyed the two men warily but made no move to attack.
"Cosmo?" Mac stood hand on hips staring at the smaller man.
"It wasn't like that," Cosmo insisted. "She chased me, thought I could get her in the movies. She never said anything about a boyfriend, especially not an Immortal one."
"Just apologize. Do what you do best and talk to the man."
Cosmo walked to stand in front of the jealous boyfriend. "Look, I'm really sorry. Please let me keep my head. I already told Judy we can't see each other again." Cosmo flashed him his best smile and held out his hand, "Let's put this behind us."
Leonard smiled and taking Cosmo's hand, he pulled him close, "See that's not gonna work for me."
Cosmo looked up to see Leonard raising his sword. Cosmo reacted quickly and head butted the big man. The force of the blow caused him to release his grab allowing Cosmo to wrench himself free.
"Gotta run, Mac. See you at the wedding," and with that he jumped out of the 2nd story apartment window.
Cosmo hit the ground and looked up to see if he was being followed. Moments later the Quickening power burst from the window.
"Yes! Thank you my Scottish hero." Cosmo stood and saluted the empty window before heading back home.
"You don't remember leading that idiot to my door and forcing me to fight your battle?" Duncan waited for a response.
"I seem to recall that," Cosmo said quietly refusing to meet Mac's eye, "It all worked out for the best though."
"You never even came back to see if I was the winner."
Cosmo scoffed, "Against Ginormatron, of course you'd win!"
"Thanks for the vote of confidence. So, once again I ask you, why are you here because I'm not fighting any more of your battles for you."
Cosmo and Duncan stared at each other until the Buzz of another Immortal made Cosmo go pale. Cosmo started to back toward the exit, "You were right. I shouldn't have involved you. But if you see your friend Adam…, tell him I'm sorry. Wish could stay for Dinner but I must be off, toodles." And he was out the back door.
Mac was about to follow when the elevator opened to admit a very angry Methos, sword in hand, into the apartment. "Where's Cosmo? I'm going to kill him."
"You, looking for a fight? Wow!" Duncan began to laugh, "Cosmo must have really pissed you off."
"I know he's you friend..." Methos paused, a little chagrined at letting his anger get the best of him. "I just really...," sighing the old man looked down at his sword and then up at his friend. Duncan's laughter seemed to diffuse whatever malice Methos had been harboring toward Cosmo. "He just made me so angry."
"He has that affect on people," Duncan offered. "I've known Cosmo a long time and believe me he isn't worth your anger. Besides he asked me to tell you he was sorry."
Methos, his anger dissipated, really didn't want to track Cosmo down. "You can tell him I accept his apology and he can keep his head." Methos laughed, asking "Is he always this much trouble?"
Mac shook his head, "You have no idea."