Finding the Light
Alternatively titled Screw the Rules, I'm in Love with Nurse Joy
By: Rowenajonas aka Thegirlwithgreeneyes
A/N: Alternatively titled: "Screw the Rules, I'm in Love with Nurse Joy." That line inspired my friend to draw a fanart, which in turn inspired this one-shot. This story occurs when Seto is twenty.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh or the Abridged Series
As much as he hated thinking about it, he couldn't stop. He wanted to believe that it could be true, but at the same time wished it weren't. He had taken out his deck to look at the cards he had hidden away from himself. Of course she had been right on the top of his deck, still sitting proudly as she always had.
It was just a picture on a piece of cardboard, but it represented so much more; it was too much. Seto put the card in his pocked and left the room.
Seto stormed by his Blue-Eyes White Dragon jet, which had been unused for quite some time, scowling and looking the other way as the passed. He boarded a smaller black jet; he needed to get away from everything and think. Seto always enjoyed flying. He took off into the sky, unconcerned by the quickly darkening clouds. He needed to get away. As soon as it was possible, Seto switched on the autopilot. He was in no state of mind to be flying, anyway. He was still experienced enough that he could manage without problems, but he needed time to think anyway.
Normally Seto would do something less drastic to take his mind off things, like play Duel Monsters, but ever since Yugi Moto showed up even that proved to be more than just a card game. Seto hadn't played the game for a while now, though. It made him think of her. Everything reminded him of her. Every night he would dream of her, always ending in her dead in his arms.
Before he knew her, he was still drawn to her; or rather the only he could have to connect himself to her, her spirit of the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. Reminders of her were everywhere.
Even when Seto managed to avoid the reminders he had inadvertently left himself, he still found himself thinking about her. When he first found out about her, and saw what happened to her, he tried to do what he usually did to deal with things. Shut down, push away any emotion, deny the truth, and put up a cold facade.
But more and more Seto was finding he was unable to do this. He was forced to admit the truth about other things too, slowly wearing away at the delusions he had built for himself until they finally shattered. He thought he could handle it, but then he made the mistake of taking out that card again.
Rain started to fall heavily outside the jet, but still Seto ignored the weather in the skies. He remembered the card was in his pocket and took it out again. He couldn't keep trying to block out his memory of her. He looked at the card. It was the first Blue-Eyes card that he had gotten. He went through such lengths to obtain them all. The Blue-Eyes had always meant something to him. It had been a symbol of power, hope light... He had always believed in the Blue-Eyes when he dueled; he might not have believed in the heart of the cards, but he did believe in the Blue-Eyes to see him through almost every time.
Now he knew why. She had died for him in a past life. She had been able to see him when he entered the world of memories, she had even spoken to him; she had said that they would meet again. He closed his eyes. Why hadn't they? Why wasn't she reincarnated like the rest?
"Kisara," he whispered. A tear rolled down his face, the first one he had cried since... he couldn't even remember.
Suddenly the whole plane shook violently. Some lights began to flicker on the control panel. Seto cursed and switched back on the manual pilot. Suddenly Seto was aware of how bad the weather had gotten while he had been absorbed in his thoughts. The sky hadn't even been to dark when he took off, but now he was worried.
Moments later, the plane went down.
Seto awoke, opening his eyes to darkness. He could feel something over his eyes, blocking out the light. Seto moved his right hand up to move whatever it was away, to discover bandages were wrapped around most of the top of his head, covering his eyes. His left arm was also bound to his body by a sling and covered in a cast.
"Seto!" a familiar voice called, having noticed his movements.
"Mokuba?" he asked. "What's going on?"
"We're in the hospital. Your plane went down. What were you doing out during a storm?"
Seto remembered, now. He didn't answer though. Instead he asked, "Why can't I see?"
"You got a concussion and broke your arm when the plane crashed. You landed it safely enough, but the landing was rough, when they got there it looked like you'd gone forward into the control panel. It looks like the plane crashed because of mechanical failure caused by the storm, so the only thing you did wrong was decide to take the plane out in weather like that in the first place."
"But then why are the bandages over my eyes?" Seto asked, noticing how Mokuba avoided answering his question directly.
"Well, they had to operate to relieve the pressure from the concussion, so you woke up earlier but you were still really out of it from the anesthetics. The doctors checked you out and everything, but you couldn't see. Now that the pressure's been taken off everything should go back to normal in a few days, including your eyesight, but it'll recover better if they're not exposed to light."
"Everything should go back to normal?" Seto repeated.
"Well, there's a chance it won't, but everything should be fine. They want to keep you for a few more days to make sure there are no more complications, though." Mokuba said, trying to sound convincing and optimistic.
Seto sighed. "How long has it been since the crash?"
"Two days," Mokuba told him. "I've been here since they let you out of surgery."
That would make it Sunday, Seto thought. "Well, I'm going to need someone to oversee everything at Kaiba Corp for the next few days, as I won't be able to do so myself. You wouldn't have to do much, just make sure there are no problems and that no one tries to take over when I'm gone." Seto said with a smirk.
Mokuba paused taking in Seto's words. "You mean you want me to?" he asked.
"Who else can I trust with it? Besides, in a month you'll be as old as I was when I took over anyway. Like I said, you won't have to do much."
"You can count on me, Seto!" Mokuba said.
"Oh, Mr. Kaiba, you're awake," a new voice had entered the room. It was a woman's voice, soft and sweet.
"Hi Joy!" Mokuba said.
"Who's there?" Seto asked.
"It's the Nurse, Joy," Mokuba said. "She's really nice. She was talking to me while I was waiting for you to wake up earlier."
"How're you feeling, Mr. Kaiba?" Joy asked. He could tell by her voice she was right next to him now, on his left.
"Do I know you?" Seto asked. Her voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't remember where he had heard it before.
"I'm afraid not," Joy told him. "Do you feel any pain, anywhere? Your arm or head mostly?"
"No, I feel fine," Seto told her.
"That's good," she said, seemingly distracted. "Well, everything seems normal," she said, checking monitors Seto couldn't see.
"Hey Joy, guess what? Seto's going to let me look after the company for him while he's out," Mokuba said.
"Wow," she said. "How old are you?"
"Old enough. I'm the same age he was when he took over!" Mokuba said.
Joy laughed. "So does the child prodigy gene run in the family or something?"
"Naw, Seto's the smart one," Mokuba insisted.
"All right. I've got to go finish checking up on the other patients, okay, Mokuba?"
"Sure." Mokuba said. Then a few minutes later he got up and ran a few feet, stopping at what Seto guessed was the door.
"Hey, Joy, wait," Mokuba said.
"Yes, Mokuba?" Joy asked. Seto guessed from her voice that she was only a few feet out the door.
"If I'm watching over the company I won't be able to be here with Seto, so do you think you could talk to him like you talked to me? It gets pretty boring around here."
"Sure thing, Mokuba. I should have time as long as there aren't any problems with the patients."
"Thanks, Joy!" Mokuba said, before returning to his brother's side.
The next morning Seto sat his he bed. When Mokuba had told Joy that things got boring around here, it was definitely an understatement. This was absolutely maddening. Seto couldn't even see, so even if he had something the keep him occupied he probably wouldn't be able to use it.
"Good Morning, Mr. Kaiba," Joy said. Seto looked up. "How're you today?" she asked.
"I think I may be going insane with boredom, but other than that, I'm fine," Seto answered.
Joy laughed. "Well, we'll just have to make sure you aren't bored, then, because I'm pretty sure Mokuba would never forgive me if I let you go insane."
"I doubt it. He would probably just say it wasn't your fault, that I was going insane all ready. I don't know if he'd exactly be wrong, either," Seto said.
"What do you mean?" Joy asked, concerned.
Seto shook his head. "Well for one thing I was crazy enough to go up in the jet even though I saw that the weather was getting bad, and I didn't land when it started getting worse."
"Well, why were you flying?" Joy asked.
"I find it easier to think. I just needed to get away from everything, and thousands of feet in the air is as alone as it gets. Something was just upsetting me," he said. Why am I telling her all this? Seto wondered. He couldn't explain it, but he felt like he could tell her everything; he wanted to tell her everything.
"Oh," Joy said. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"You don't need to hear my problems," Seto told her.
"Perhaps. But besides the fact that I'm getting paid for using my spare time to talk to you, I would like to listen. If there's something you need to talk about, I'll be here," Joy told him.
"That's nice of you," Seto commented.
Joy sighed. He wasn't going to talk to her. "So. What do you normally do with you spare time?" she asked.
"I don't normally have much spare time. I've been flying a lot more lately. Not much besides that and working," Seto said.
Joy stood there trying to come up with more conversation topics for a few minutes before Seto spoke again. "You don't have to stay here, you know. I won't tell Mokuba on you," he joked.
Joy laughed. "But I want to talk to you while I can; I just can't come up with anything to talk about."
"You want to talk to me?" Seto asked.
"Well it's either you, or the gossip girls that work on this floor; so yes, I choose you," Joy said.
"The lesser of two evils, then?" Apparently joking was one way to keep the conversation going.
"Hardly, I wouldn't consider you an 'evil' at all." Joy told him.
Another girl spoke from the door way. "Joy, there you are, come over here,"
"Sure," Joy said. "I'll talk to you later, Mr. Kaiba." Joy turned and headed out of the room.
Seto sighed and lay back. Now he didn't feel bored; just lonely.
Mokuba visited that night. The next day Joy was back again. "Hello, Mr. Kaiba," she said entering the room.
Seto smirked. "You don't have to keep calling me 'Mr. Kaiba' you know, 'Seto' is just fine."
"All right then, Seto. Are you still feeling okay?" Joy asked.
"Yeah, pain medication can work wonders," Seto said.
Joy laughed. "Well, you should be able to go home tomorrow. They should be able to remove the bandages over your eyes, hopefully your vision will have returned to normal. The incisions from surgery were small enough that they should be able to take the rest of the bandages on your head off, but you'll need to come back to take the stitches off. Also, the cast will need to stay on for another couple of weeks, but besides that, you'll be free to go."
"Yes," Joy answered.
"How bad did they need to cut my hair to do the surgery?" he asked, the thought that they would need to do so just occurring to him.
"Not bad at all," Joy told him. "When you sit up, the rest of your hair is long enough that it should cover the few spots."
Seto nodded. "Not bad."
"So, anything you want to talk about today?" Joy asked.
"Not that I can think of," Seto said.
"You still don't want to talk about whatever it was that was bothering you?"
Seto paused. "Why do you want to know?"
"Well it bothered you enough that you went flying into a storm, I think it's normal that I be concerned. I'm a nurse, it's my job to help people with things about themselves that put them in danger," Joy reasoned.
"You're not a psychologist," Seto remarked.
"No, I'm not, but I do know that normally talking about things that bother you helps you feel better," Joy said.
Seto didn't say anything. Joy sighed and began to walk towards the door. "It happened a few years ago," Seto told her. Actually, it happened a few Millennia ago, you only found out about it a few years ago, he thought.
Joy turned around. "What happened?" she asked softly.
"There was a girl I cared about who was killed, I saw it happen," Seto said, finally putting to words the thoughts that had been bothering him as of late.
"I'm so sorry," Joy said.
"I didn't even realize how I felt about her until after she died. I never really got the chance to know her." Seto said. "But I still loved her."
"I can understand why it would bother you so much," Joy told him.
"At first I didn't let it bother me, that was the problem. I kept everything bottled up and now it's backfiring." Why was he pouring his heart out? To a complete stranger of all people? Why did it all feel so right?
"It's just so unfair that when I finally realize that I can love someone, and that I don't have to shut all my emotions away, I don't even get the chance to." Seto said angrily. It wasn't fair; he hated it. Why did Fate have to be so cruel?
"I know. I'm sure you'll find love again someday. You're young, and you're definitely not unattractive. One day a lucky girl will walk into your life," Joy said, trying to be optimistic.
Seto nodded, but didn't say anything. After a while, Joy just left the room silently to check up on the other patients.
Mokuba visited again. After he left, Seto lay in bed that night thinking. Find love again? Seto had never thought of it. Kisara had always been a part of him, before he even knew it. Could he really? Why not? he thought. If Fate wouldn't bring Kisara back... why couldn't he find someone else? Could someone else show him this light called love, just as Kisara had done for him thousands of years ago?
Ever since he found out about Kisara, Seto also realized what a big part of his life he had been missing. He wanted to be able to love, to know what it meant when you loved someone.
Seto bit the inside of his lip nervously. He all ready had in mind who it was he wanted to show him. Joy. What did it mean that he was all ready thinking about someone? Why did he want to let her into his life in the way he never let anyone else in, why did he tell her things he wouldn't tell anyone else? Was that what love was like?
He just hoped that if he did find love, and then found Kisara again, that she wouldn't know about their past. He didn't know what he would do if he had to face her after finding someone else.
A different nurse came into Seto's room the next morning.
"Where's Nurse Joy?" he asked, disappointed.
"It's her day off," the other nurse told him.
"Hey big brother!" Mokuba said coming into the room. Today's the day you get out!"
"Mokuba, you made it through watching the company without getting kidnapped?"
"Come on, Seto, I haven't been kidnapped for a couple of years now," Mokuba said.
"Fair enough, but I also haven't left Kaiba Corp for a couple of years now." Seto reminded him.
"I'm older now, Seto. Besides, we haven't had problems like that for a while."
Seto smiled. At least Fate had been kind in that case.
Within half an hour the bandages on Seto's head were off, and he was back in his own clothes. It felt good to be out of that ridiculous hospital attire. His eyesight was working fine, thankfully. He stood in the lobby, while Mokuba went to wait for the limo.
He was looking at the door waiting for Mokuba to come back in and tell him the limo had arrived when he saw someone else he recognized walk in; the one person he least expected. Though, technically, he had never seen this girl before, it was impossible to mistake her. After all, not many girls had long, white hair.
The girl pushed her hair back behind her ear, her blue eyes scanning the lobby before stopping on Seto. She smiled. Could it possibly be that she recognized him too? Could she know?
If Seto thought seeing her was unbelievable, he was in no way prepared for what came next. She spoke.
"Hi, Seto," she said. Such simple words. But it was not the fact that she knew his name that surprised him; it was her voice. Joy.
He stared at her in disbelief. It couldn't be. He brought his right hand to her face, lightly touching her cheek. "Kisara," he said softly. She was real. This wasn't some bizarre dream. Then Seto did the first thing that he thought to do; he kissed her.
In that moment, the entire world could go crashing down around them and Seto wouldn't care. Nothing else mattered, nothing compared to this. Seto broke away after a second, but stood close to her. Her eyes stared up into his.
'Hi, Seto," she tried again breathlessly.
"Hi," he grinned back.
"What, no kiss this time?" she joked.
Seto chuckled. "Maybe later," he said.
She closed her eyes. "Wow," she said, thinking about what was happening. "This is unexpected."
"I wasn't exactly planning this, either," Seto told her.
She looked back up at him. "How do you know my name?"
"What?" he asked.
"You said my name, Kisara. That's my real first name. But I was named after my mother, and it got confusing having two Kisaras around, so I've always been called by my middle name. But how did you know?"
Seto blinked. "Its... it's a long story."
"Tell me later, then," Kisara said.
"Of course," he nodded. "I thought the other nurse said you had today off?"
Kisara looked down, smiling. "I do.." she looked back up. "I wanted to see you again. I was going to ask if you'd like to meet again sometime, but I guess you all ready answered my question." She bit her lip nevrously. "Do you believe in love at first sight, Seto?"
"When you came in here a few days ago, I saw you when you first came to after surgery, while you were still out of it. The doctors were checking you, but you just stared ahead, confused, not seeing me right in front of you. But when I looked at your eyes, besides the confusion, you looked so sad. You looked hurt and lost, like you needed someone to show you the way; I've seen that look on patient's faces before. But- it's never made me feel the way you did. When I saw you, I loved you. I felt like I knew you. I wanted to be that person you needed, not just as a Nurse, but something more," she said.
Seto smile widened. "Like you always loved me, but never realized it?" he asked.
"It's not just me, then?" she asked.
"No, it's not," Seto told her.
Mokuba called from the door. "Seto, the limo's here," he said. He looked at how close his brother and Kisara were standing. "Want to come with us, Joy?" Mokuba asked, smiling.
"That sounds like a good idea, Mokuba," Seto said, smiling.
"I'd love to," Kisara said.
Seto smiled. "Are you ready to go, Miss Kisara Joy?" he asked.
She smiled. "Just 'Kisara' is fine," she said.
As they left the building to get in the limo, Seto couldn't help but notice, the Sun had never seemed brighter.
Also, check out my other Seto/Kisara fic, A Year to Remember