Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Chapter title owned by The Offspring
Chapter 1: Original Prankster
Pairings: Naru/Sasu. I haven't figured out any other pairings yet.
Welcome to suggestions.
Rating: T – M
Sasuke couldn't believe it. They had been together for a year. After years of pestering he had given into and dated her and now she was dumping him. His thoughts were chaotic with questions about why and how. He was one of the hottest guys in the city of Konoha, a guy that girls fought over daily and here he was being dumped. Sasuke continued to analyze the situation until he was brought out of his thoughts by his ex?-girlfriend.
"Sasuke are you even listening to me?" Sasuke turned from his brooding to see an angry pink haired girl glaring at him. Seeing that she was looking for a response Sasuke decided to go with his neutral, but safe expression of indifference with a soft "hn" at the end.
"See this is what I'm talking about. You're never listening to me and you're always ignoring me. We never go out anymore Sasuke and when we do you look like you don't even want to be there with me." The girl paused for a moment to catch her breath before continuing with her rant. "All you ever want to do is be by yourself or hang out with Naruto and the other guys. You never show your affections for me anymore Sasuke. I don't get anymore presents from you and you never take me out to fancy restaurants like you use too." The pink haired girl continued to bitch as Sasuke began to tune her out. However before he could get lost in his own thoughts once again she shook him back to reality.
"Naruto would be a much better boyfriend than you'll ever be. I mean he's hot, sexy, has a band, and is kind." Sakura finished her sentence with a glossy look in her eyes that told Sasuke more than he ever wanted to know.
'She's want Naruto.' Sasuke thought quite astonished by his observation. However he made sure his shock was present on his face. 'Now it all makes since. How she always wants to go and hang out with Naruto and how she flirts with the dobe all the time.'
As Sasuke thought about this he could feel his anger boiling inside him. Before he knew it he was furious, but he still manage to keep his face indifferent.
"Excuse me?" asked Sakura with confusion plain on her face.
"I'm respecting what you want Sakura. You're dumping me and I accept that. Now if you'll excuse me." And with that Sasuke turned around and left the park leaving a stunned girl behind him.
The world seemed to move in slow motion for a certain raven haired boy as he walked down the street. After leaving the park Sasuke had decided to take a walk to cool down some from his conversation with Sakura. 'That's if you could call it a conversation' thought Sasuke sarcastically.
It was a sunny warm day in Konoha with birds chirping and the bustle of the city bringing music to many people's ears. Sasuke hated it. It wasn't that he hated days like these it was just that everything and everyone were too perky and happy for the mood he was in now. He couldn't believe it. His girlfriend, well ex-girlfriend had fallen in love with his best friend and rival. He wondered if Naruto knew about this. What if he liked her back! Although Sasuke doubted that. He and Naruto and been rivals ever since middle school and best friends since their sophomore year in high school. Now they were sophomores in college. If Naruto had felt anything for Sakura Sasuke would have picked up on it.
Sasuke was so much consumed by his thoughts that he didn't even realize where he was going until his feet stopped at a large ten story building with a sign that read Konoha Apartments on it in green and beige.
'Well what do you know' thought Sasuke as he walked through the double doors and over to the elevator. Walking into the elevator Sasuke pressed the button for the sixth floor and waited patiently as the doors closed and the elevator began to move. When reaching the sixth floor Sasuke stepped out and made his way down the hall before stopping in front of a door marked 604. The raven haired man then knocked on the door listening inside for the resident who was surely inside.
Not more then a minute later the door opened to reveal a blonde man with whisker marks on his cheeks.
"Sasuke, what are you doing here? I thought you were going to be out with Sakura."
Saying nothing Sasuke moved forward and as if by routine Naruto opened the door wider before moving out of the way letting the moody brunette in. Hearing the door close behind him Sasuke walked over to the blonde's couch before slumping in it waiting for the taller man to catch up.
Feeling the man sit down across from him on the coffee table Sasuke couldn't help but look up. Looking at the blonde Sasuke tried to figure out what Sakura saw in Naruto that attracted her so much. Sasuke had to admit that Naruto had grown up over the years. When they were in high school Naruto had been the shorter of the two only being about five foot four. Now the man was a startling six foot two. Gone were the stubby spikes that he had in high school and in their place long shaggy yet wild spikes took their place. The blonde's body had definitely changed as well. Naruto had been the weaker of the two during their public education with barely any muscles on him. Now the man had biceps that any man would kill for and drool worthy for most girls. Today the blonde wore faded blue jeans that hugged his frame yet managed to rid low on his hips at the same time. He wore an orange t-shirt, which was very typical for him, which fit his frame perfectly showing off his broad shoulders and muscled chest and abs. But what had changed the most Sasuke realized were the man's eyes. When they were younger Naruto had bright blue innocent eyes, now they were slightly darker and the innocence had washed away with age.
Breaking himself from his thoughts he decided to answer Naruto's unspoken question.
"Sakura dumped me today." There was a long silence, where Sasuke could tell that the blue eyed man was trying to process what he just heard. It didn't take long before Naruto shouted Sasuke's predicted reaction.
"What!! What are you talking about Sasuke I thought you and her were a real item. I mean you guys have been going out with each other for about a year right?"
"Yeah well she feels that I'm not treating her right and that I'm not the boyfriend she wanted", replied Sasuke in an indifferent tone. Seeing the confusion on the blonde's face Sasuke decided he would tell him everything. "She also feels that you would make a much better boyfriend than I ever will."
Sasuke looked up to see how his words affected the blonde and was amused to see the boy's eyes bugged out in shock.
"She wants you dobe." Sasuke said in a flat tone.
"Wait, that can't be right. Are you sure teme." Asked Naruto with a look of dread on his face.
"Yes, I'm positive; otherwise I wouldn't have told you." The ebony eyed man then looked up at Naruto when he heard a strangled "eep" from the other man. Naruto was getting paler by the second and that was a feat considering that the man had one of those golden tans that lasted all year long.
"You're joking. Please tell me you're joking bastard."
"Do I ever joke." Responded Sasuke with a deadpan voice.
"Shit. This isn't good." Sasuke was puzzled by this and was about to ask the blond when the other boy suddenly blurted out, "She knows I'm bi right? So she should be against that since I remember her declaring once that she would never date a guy who likes both guys and girls."
Sasuke could see where Naruto was going with this, but knew it wouldn't work. Sakura had had that look of lust on her face when she had spoken of Naruto. There was no escaping her now.
"Yeah she knows, but I don't think she cares now."
"Dammit. I was hoping that would work."
"Yeah well think about this. I'm now an Uchiha that has been rejected." Naruto noted that Sasuke looked pissed. "I think that's a first to the family name." The black haired boy muttered. "This is not going to go over well with my family, who thought she was perfect for me and lets not forget that my best friend is about to hook up with my ex-girlfriend." Sasuke said in a slightly angry tone.
"Hey bastard! Think about me here. I'm going to have a pink haired bitch following me everywhere I go now. She may have been great for you, but she use to make fun of me back in middle school and part of high school. The only reason why she started talking to me was, because I finally matured and grew up, plus she wanted you and I'm your best friend." Naruto shouted angrily.
There was silence in the apartment then as the two men took in what was said. It lasted for a couple of minutes before Naruto suddenly jumped up looking like a devious fox. 'This can't be good', thought Sasuke as he warily eyed the blond.
"Hey I've got a great idea." Naruto almost screamed in his excitement. His blue eyes were lit with a fire that promised it would be the prank of all pranks.
"O come on bastard. Don't you want to know my idea? I promise that it will get rid of both our troubles."
"I'm afraid to ask dobe."
Naruto let out a low growl before deciding he would tell Sasuke his idea anyways. "Look how about you and I pretend to be dating."
Sasuke paused for a second to replay what Naruto had said in his mind. That pause was all Naruto needed to continue.
"Think about it Sasuke. You and I pretend to be dating, O say a month from now. That way you can save face from your break up with Sakura and get revenge for her dumping you and wanting to go out with me. Plus it will benefit me, because with me dating you I can't date her and she'll have to leave me alone. AND she won't be able to go back to you, like we know she will, because you'll be with me."
Sasuke opened his mouth to retort, wanting to voice that it was a bad idea; however the black haired man couldn't find anything wrong with the idea. It would keep Sakura away from Naruto and him, plus he wouldn't have to worry about random fan girls asking to be his new girlfriend.
"What about the others. It wouldn't be right to trick them as well and what about all your fans. Shinobi's lead singer can't just suddenly be dating someone. You have to give them hope that one day they'll get into your pants."
"Okay bastard, that's just sick. Do you know how many fan girls AND boys want to get into my pants? Besides that though, it wouldn't ruin my popularity to be dating someone. And the group and all our friends are due for one of my pranks anyways. I think the last prank I pulled was telling Neji's fan girls that he was ready and looking for a girlfriend."
There was a pause where Sasuke thought about Naruto's devious plan and he had to admit that it was pretty ingenious. No one would be expecting them to get together and they wouldn't have to fake very much since they already knew a lot about each other. The only problem Sasuke could see in this though was that he wasn't gay.
"I'm not gay dobe." Sasuke stated in an emotionless voice.
"Yeah well you'll just have to pretend that you're either bi like me and just figured it out or Sakura turned you gay." The blond said with a shrug. "I actually heard that she turned Sai, that guy who looks like you, gay." Naruto finished with a smirk on his face.
Seeing how Naruto was pretty set on going through his prank whether Sasuke liked it or not the pale man reluctantly agreed.
"Great, ok, now we just need to come up with a general plan for it." Naruto said his voice taking on an energetic tone. "I think you should lie low for a couple of weeks and during that time hang out with me more than you usually do. Everyone will think that I'm comforting you from your 'nasty' break up with Sakura, and then we start flirting with each other. Then in a month we starting 'dating' and let one of them catch us out on a date or doing some kind of couple thing. That way they think that we are actually dating, instead of them thinking it's a joke."
Sasuke nodded following the blonde's fast talking, which had been perfected from years of hanging out with him.
"So, what do we do when Sakura finds out that I'm suddenly into guys and more importantly the one she wants?" asked Sasuke.
The raven haired man watched as a cunning fox like smirk appeared on the taller man's face as he said, "Then we play her for all she's worth."
Nodding Sasuke watched as Naruto got up and walked into the kitchen opening a cabinet and getting two glasses down. The blond then filled them with water before heading back over to Sasuke.
"Now I think we should practice." stated Naruto as he handed Sasuke a glass of water, which the black eyed man quietly thanked him for.
"What do you mean?" asked Sasuke after taking a sip of the water.
"Well we can't run into this without practicing how we are going to act around each other. I mean it won't do if we don't look like a couple that is in love, now will it." He said with a devious grin.
Sasuke couldn't help but become wary of the blonde's look but had to admit that the dobe did have a point. "Okay, what do you think we should practice then?" He asked in a bored tone.
"Well, we both should already know how to hold hands. We've both had relationships before so that should be a no-brainer. O, how about standing."
Sasuke lifted one single delicate eyebrow as if to mock the blond sitting in front of him. "What do you mean usuratonkachi?"
The blond quickly turned red in anger before opening his mouth. "Well what I was going to suggest teme is that we should practice standing together in public. We can't just be standing together side by side all the time otherwise their going to get suspicious." Sasuke gave a nod to show that he was listening and that Naruto should continue.
"I think when we stand I should be in back of you." Naruto said with a slight grin on his face. Now that got Sasuke's attention.
"Why?" the raven asked flatly.
"Because, I'm taller than you bastard. In most gay relationships the taller one is the one that stands behind the shorter one."
"What does that have to do with anything?" Sasuke asked in a threatening tone.
"Look Sasuke, in these types of relationships there are two positions, the seme, who is usually taller and the pitcher in the relationship", Naruto said with a grin, "and the uke, who is usually shorter and is the catcher. Now since I actually am the gay one I think that qualifies me to be the seme since I know what I'm doing and the fact that I usually am when I'm dating someone. I'll be more able to pick up on others who are hitting on you and those who don't like you. With me doing that I can act like the possessive seme I'm supposed to be while you act like the uke who's oblivious, like you probably will be." Naruto finished with a knowing look on his face.
Sasuke wanted to retort and say that he could do the same job that Naruto could, but he had to silently admit that he probably couldn't. He had no idea what it was like to be in a homosexual relationship and Naruto did. He would have to trust the blond in this area.
"Fine" was all the raven said before giving the blond an impatient look.
Naruto seeing this casually stood up and motioned for Sasuke to do the same. Once standing, Naruto walked around Sasuke pressing into the man's personal space. Naruto immediately noticed how Sasuke stiffened as he brushed sides with him while passing. The two were use to invading each other's personal space at times, but for Sasuke the situation seemed to be much different than it usually was. Once Naruto got behind Sasuke he slowly took a step forward in a silent warning of what he was going to do.
As Naruto finished the step Sasuke was suddenly vary aware of Naruto. With that one step the blond had managed to press the front of his body along Sasuke's back, almost connecting them fully. Sasuke could feel Naruto's breath tickle the top of his hair as the boy slowly wrapped his arms around the smaller man's waist. The raven also became aware of how his body fit perfectly up against Naruto's, the blonde's body almost seeming like a barrier that protected Sasuke from the outside world. Sasuke also hesitantly noticed how his ass fit flawlessly against Naruto's groin. However, before Sasuke had a chance to contemplate his discovery the silence was broken by Naruto.
"See, how does this feel? We don't have to do this all the time, but when needed this will definitely come in handy."
All Sasuke could do was nod in agreement and wondered if he was really ready for the ride he had signed up for.
Thanks for reading my story. I hope you all will review and tell me if you like it or not. I promise that the next chapter will be longer. This chapter was just a way to start the story off. Thanks again :)