A/N: I felt randomly compelled to write a one shot about the relationship between Regulus Black and his brother Sirius, so I decided to make it about something really meaningful for both of them. Hope you like it.


I sat on a windowsill in the owlery, silently looking out at the place I had come to call my home over all others. I had just received a letter from dear, old Mum. I was to be initiated into the Dark Lord's circle of Death Eaters upon coming home for the Christmas holidays. My hand that held the letter in question was shaking as I tried to hold back the tears that were sure to come sooner or later. I tried to think of what Sirius would say if he were to actually care enough to come home with me this holiday. He hadn't come home since last Christmas, when my father tried to beat me for sticking up for my brother, and Sirius tried to stick up for me in turn. When my mother threw him out he took it upon himself to completely disown me right along with the rest of our so-called family. You have no idea how it feels for your own brother, your flesh-and-blood, your only REAL family, disowns you. Apparently I did something wrong. I stuck up for him. Was I not supposed to? Was that my big mistake? I would kill for a second chance with my big brother.

The owlery door opened as my tears finally spilled over and I pulled my feet around to the outside. How easy it would be to fall. It could look like an accident. No more problems, no more disappointment. Just as I tipped myself forwards off the edge, I heard someone leap forwards and felt them grasp the neck of my robes, desperately trying to keep me up in the owlery. I silently wondered who would even care about little Regulus Black as I was yanked back and onto the dirty, hay-covered floor.

I heard a heave from my savoir after the effort of rescuing me and I gasped as I turned and saw whom it was. Sirius. Sirius had just saved me from a death I had been certain he wouldn't have cared about. "Sir . . . Sirius?" I managed to get out through my tears and shock. Though I had fallen, it hardly qualified as jumping as I was sitting down when I did it; I realized I still grasped the horrid letter in my hand.

He smiled slightly at me as he caught his breath and said, with concern thick in his voice, "Yeah Reg, it's me, dearest Sirius. But, oh Regulus! What were you thinking?! Why were you trying to kill yourself?" His face was contorted in an odd mixture of fear and . . . something else Regulus couldn't quite put his finger on.

As Sirius waited for his answers Regulus was trying to choose the right words. After a bit of thinking he silently handed Sirius the letter.

He took it from his brother's hand and read it aloud, "Dear Regulus. As you are now our only son, your father and I have decided to hand your services to the Dark Lord. When you come home for the Christmas holidays your cousin Bellatrix will come get you and initiate you into the finest essence of pureblood bonds. Don't worry about your old brother. He doesn't care about you, or he would have tried to bring you with him. You better be here, Mum and Dad." By the time Sirius was done with the letter he still had fear written clearly on his face, but now he had a ferocious anger etched into his flawless skin as well. "It's all lies Regulus. Dirty, vicious lies. Don't listen to a word the old hag has said. I do love you, Regulus. You're my brother; even if I'm no longer yours it changes none of my feelings towards you. I didn't bring you with me because they wouldn't have let you go. They don't care about me, but they need you for the family legacy." His eyes were pleading for Regulus to understand, to sympathize with him.

He took a deep breath and began, "I know you don't care for me. And I wanted to get away from the world. I'm sick of living this life, Sirius. I don't even want to go into His services, but it's not like I'll really have a choice. You know our Mum. She already said yes, it's proven in that letter right there."

Sirius glared at the letter and shot a spell at it, setting it ablaze. "There. You haven't even gotten the letter now. You can come to James's house with me from now on. The Potter's won't mind if I explain the situation. Please, brother, don't go home. Don't become what they want you to be. If not for yourself, for me. If you still care about me . . ."

"Sirius, of course I still care about you." I started, trying to find the right words to make him understand my predicament. "Look . . . I can't . . . defy our parents quite as openly as you are able to. I can't do things like that because I'm not as brave as you. There's a reason I wasn't placed into Gryffindor, you know. I was too scared to not follow family tradition. The sorting hat sees all, remember."

"Reg, you're plenty brave. Don't even tell them anything. We can get you some new clothes and belongings. Anything you want. I'll even go back there to get anything you want out of your room."

I felt a painful squeeze in my heart when I looked at my brother's pained expression. "Sirius, I'm so sorry. I can't. I'm not that strong."

"But you're just a kid! You need to finish your schooling! You need to have a life and have better non-death eater friends. You can be friends with James, Peter, Remus, Lily, all the rest of the Gryffindor's and me. Please, why don't you want my help?"

"It's not that I don't want it, it's just . . . I'm scared, Sirius. Too scared for this life. But anyways, I doubt I have much longer left for it anyways. Apparently I'm going to be in His inner circle by association with Bellatrix and her husband, and you know how long those ones last."

I internally cringed when his face fell in disappointment. "Siri . . ."

"No. I understand. I always knew you were a spineless jellyfish." He snapped at me while getting up swiftly.

I stood up too. "No, you don't . . ."

"Oh yes, Regulas, I understand perfectly. But two things." He nodded for me to say something.

I gulped and stuttered, "Ye . . . yeah?"

He held up one finger. "Don't kill yourself." I nodded quickly and he held up a second finger. "And always remember that I love you. Never give up that thought, no matter how bad it might get for you where you're going. And if you ever want to get out, well you can get in touch with me."

I nodded silently and my favorite family member gave me a sad smile.

"Take care of yourself, Reg."

"And you too, Sirius. I love you too. Forever."

He nodded and turned to leave I stopped him just in time to say, "And when I do get out, I'll make sure that it means something. I'll make sure to make you proud, brother."

He nodded again and said, "I'm sure your will, Reg. I'm sure you will." And with that he left, leaving me to contemplate everything I just learned.

I knew that nothing would ever be the same again. But I would be true to my words and find something to make my brother proud of his spineless little brother.

A/N: Haha, yeah this is crappy. Whatever. Review please and thanks.