It's Useless to Write Harry Potter Stories
By the mighty lu bu
AN: this story was pulled due to "coarse language" so i'm re uploading it under M rating, next time someone tell me WHY my story was removed instead of leaving me to figure it out, talking to you fanfiction admin.
Disclaimer: I don't own harry potter but why does it matter if I say this, it will be backlogged in 24 hours on page 7 or some shit. It aint like the author will ever find this hunk of junk anyway.
One Day Harry was on the Wizarding Worlds online internet. He had decided to write a story about his life. He came to the Fanfiction website.
He saw the main page, figuring that his story was in the books section (cause Harry is a bright one after all). Scrolling down the list he saw his name, in the second column. Having looked at the number of stories written about him he exclaimed "holy shit!" He was completely taken aback when he saw that over 300,000 thousand stories have been written about him.
Not wishing to waste anytime he clicked on his name to open the page with all the stories. Before even looking at the stories he noticed the over 4000 communities and the just barely 1100 forums about him. To which he determined "damn these people are obsessed about me."
Nonetheless he looked at the stories that where wrote about him. He decided to find a story wrote about him yesterday. Eventually he got to page 4 before he found a story written by the writer Iron Queen, an author whom I've yet to have the opportunity to review personally but will make time to do so if she reviews something of mine (wink, wink). Clearly she was skilled and talented, but her great worked buried in less than 24 hours. Makes one wonder where it will be next week.
He continued to consider his story, but he wondered how he will get reviews for it no matter how good it was. Still he was amazed at those stories with incredible amount of reviews. But on the other hand there were many stories with no reviews at all, (an unfortunate standard fictionpress and fanfiction these day I say). So he thought long and hard about what to do.
He finally decided "man fuck this shit," so he called up his friend. She answered, "Hello, this is J. K. Rowling." To which Harry replied "I got the scoop on year seven for ya, if you wanna hear it and make into another book. I face voldermort one last time, a secret is revealed about snape, we have a big battle and pretty much fuck up Hogwarts. Wanna hear"? J. K. Rowling replied "Sure, do tell". Harry Potter breathed a sigh of relief after all he thought, at least this way I'll make an ass load of cash, finally buy that yacht the Ginny has been bitching about.
To pay homage to Xena disclaimer. "My faith in the fanfiction website was hurt in the making of this chapter, but I still will review Iron Queen if she reviews this (even if it's a flame)