I no own,
So you no sue!
The Litigation sensation that's gripping the nation!


This thread contains my comedies. They really have no particular common theme, except that I like Allison Cameron and Greg House. So enjoy! (Um...I ended up deleting my original thread, with the reviews. But I couldn't figure out how to make changes into a story once it was extracted from a document.)


(This piece of insanity was inspired by House's comment about Chase's "Short Shorts" in Season Two, in "Spin", and the "Friends" episode, "The One Where Monica and Richard Are Just Friends." Season Three, Thirteenth Episode. You know which one I'm talking about.)


Chase's Short Shorts


It had been just a long, tiring day at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. It always seems longest on Fridays, didn't it? Well, House and his team had solved a really hard case that they had been working on since Monday, and everyone was already planning for the weekend when House, Cameron, Chase and Foreman got the summons to appear at Cuddy's office at four.

They had already begun to change their clothes in anticipation of the three day weekend. House and Cameron were planning to take advantage of the wonderful weather over Labor Day to ride down to Atlantic City in House's new vintage Triumph motorcycle. Foreman was attending a conference in Johns Hopkins, and Chase was going to play football with a new club he had just joined. Of course, House had mocked him unmercifully, calling it "Rugby", while Chase insisted it was "Football". Wilson was planning a getaway with some girl, and not even House had been able to pry loose the details.

Chase was already waiting for the rest of them in Cuddy's office, sprawled on Cuddy's sofa. He was half dozing, while scanning a magazine on scuba diving. His latest girlfriend Meggie was totally into that, and it sounded like fun.

Foreman and Wilson walked in, both dressed in suits. They looked at Dr. Robert Chase dressed in his "Football" uniform, and both of them looked sympathetically at the young Australian doctor. They knew that as soon as House showed up, he was going to be severely mocked for wearing "Short Shorts". Why did Chase do things like that? For a doctor, he could do the dumbest things at times. Didn't he think? He knew that this was going to provoke House to new heights of...snarkiness and mockingtude. Wilson shook his head. The poor boy was so going to get it.

"Hey Chase. Nice outfit there." Maybe Chase would get the hint.

"Yeah, Meggie loves it. She's going to come to see the scrim tonight." Oh no, once the girlfriend likes the outfit, you had to wear it. Poor Chase, he was doomed.

"Anyway, anyone know why Cuddy called us here?"

"No idea." Of course Wilson knew, but he wanted to give her the fun of telling everyone. House had probably already figured out that Cuddy was pregnant, but only she and Wilson knew he was the father. They had refrained from telling anyone about their relationship until after the first trimester. Wilson couldn't believe her courage, to go on after two failures and one miscarriage. That would have broken most women, but Cuddy had seen the best Fertility experts in the country, and in six more months, their little daughter would be born. He was going to be a father! Of course House had naturally noticed his spontaneous goofy grins he had for the last few days, but he was too preoccupied with Cameron, and dismissed it simply as Wilson getting laid. Boy, was he in for a surprise!

Chase sighed in boredom, and shifted around, leaning back into the sofa. Wilson was shocked that now he could see up Robert's shorts, and "Little Robert" was clearly visible.

"I think I'm going to get some coffee. Want any Chase? Um...Foreman, why don't you come with me?" Chase nodded his thanks, and Foreman follows Wilson out into the main reception, clearly puzzled.

"What's going on?"

"Robert's coming out." spoke Wilson seriously. Though he had to hold in his sides TIGHT to keep from bursting into uncontrollable laughter.

"What? Wilson, what the heck are you talking about? Chase isn't gay. Or is he? Is that the big news is about?"

"Where did you get that from? No...um...Chase is...he's coming out of his shorts."


"Chase is showing brain."

"Are you sure?" Wilson hands Foreman a paper cup of coffee from the reception desk, and points to Cuddy's office. Foreman, nodding his understanding, goes back in to give Chase his coffee. He's practically running out of Cuddy's office after verifying Wilson's story...

"OH MY GOD!!!"


"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Foreman is practically hopping, trying to hold in his giggles. The nurses still at the reception look in astonishment at the normally grave and serious doctor.

"What do we do? What do we do?" asked Foreman with a huge grin on his face.

"We should just go in and tell him. Or..."


"We could just wait for every one else to get here. Especially House..."

Foreman is sputtering trying to hold in his laughter. The thought of House seeing Chase like that, and the inevitable snarking that would ensue was...evil. And funny.

"Ok, but Wilson, if I see THAT again, I think I'm going to totally lose it!"

"Well, I suppose we just try to not look directly at it."

"Like an eclipse."

Wilson nods his head. The two of them share a nod of perfect understanding, while they try desperately to hold in their hilarity before going back into Cuddy's office.

Luckily for our two doctors, House, Cameron and Cuddy showed up only a few minutes later...

Cuddy bounced into her office, nothing could make this day bad. She stood and waited for House and Cameron dressed in their motorcycle leathers to follow her in.

"Now guys, I suppose..." Cuddy turned around to look at Foreman and Chase sitting on the sofa. Chase had scooted up, as Cuddy entered. As it happened, that gave Cuddy an even better view of Robert's "Little Robert" than even Wilson had. Cuddy's jaw dropped to the floor and her eyes literally bulged from their sockets. Of course this made House and Cameron turn around, to see what had made Cuddy react in that way...

House pulled Cuddy's clipboard from her unresisting hands and covered her stomach with it. He bent down to talk to Cuddy's abdomen...

"Don't look, Mini-Cuddy! You'll be scarred for life!"

House straightened up, and glared at Robert Chase.

"Chase, this is a family hospital. Put the Wombat back in the house."

At this point Chase looks down, and seeing that he had just exposed himself to his coworkers, his boss and his boss's boss, runs out of the hospital, his face flaming like the sun. Meanwhile, everyone else in Cuddy's office are literally rolling on the floor, laughing their butts off.

(Next Tuesday)

Dr. Robert Chase walked into PPTH, his face still blushing, and scared about what House had planned for him today. He was right to be afraid, to be VERY afraid...

Everyone was waiting for him...

Naturally, House spoke first. "Ooh man, dig that crazy wombat."

Cameron, tongue firmly in cheek sang "Who wears short shorts?"

Foreman covers his face in pretended shock, and sang his line on cue." He wears short shorts!"

Then it was Wilson's turn. Wilson had tried to beg off during rehearsal, trying to claim a bad singing voice, but House had threatened him with his cane. "They're such short shorts!"

At this point, House couldn't resist growling at Wilson. "Stop drooling, Jimmy!"

It was House turn again, this time shaking his head sadly. "Chase likes short shorts!"

Cuddy, who popped her head out of her office (holding her sides tight to keep from giggling) sang out "Who wears short shorts?"

Foreman points to Chase and sang the last line. "He wear short shorts."

Robert Chase fell to the ground, trying to ignore the giggling and pointing nurses. He put his head between his knees, and groaned. This was going to be SUCH a long day...