A/N: Written for a LiveJournal 10 whores community challenge. The prompt for this one was 'disoriented'.
Disclaimer: I disclaim. Go bow down to CLAMP for the characters.
In a way, they were both lost. Confused. Knocked off the right path. And somehow it drew them together. The minute Subaru came face to face with Nataku, the world seemed to slow to a lazy spin. In each other's eyes they saw something painfully familiar, something that haunted them both, but in a slightly different way. Their nightmares were not the same, their goals were not the same, and their loyalties lay in different people even if those people in question were as good as twins.
They never mentioned it, never spoke about it openly. They did not share their thoughts on their leaders, did not argue which one was right, did not try to convince the other that theirs was the right side and the right thing to fight for. It did not matter for them. They were always more comfortable in silence.
Soft sighs and silent whispers filled their nights which they did not spend together because they were madly in love. Their reason to be together was desperation and disorientation. They had met and found some similarities and stayed together only to explore how deep those similarities went. Both Nataku and Subaru were trying to reach new borders, wanting to see how far they could go before reality landed them hard onto the pavement of life and they were forced to return to their respective sides.
There was no emotional affection; there was only physical contact and an unspoken wish to see if their existence was worth something, if it made any difference at all. They knew that it would come to an end, maybe sooner than they predicted it, and then they would part and return to their destined paths to walk them with conviction. But they would never forget those silent moments when they could question the reasons, the need for them to fight this battle, to belong to their respective sides, and to be lost.
Because that was the thing they had seen in one another's eyes – the loneliness and knowledge that you are walking a path that's destined for you, but you do not know where it will take you.