A/N: Because it had to happen some time. I mean, Monstro got away with it, so why not Great A'tuin? The result of a new– and dangerous– Terry Pratchett addiction. Thanks to the wonders of the University of the Poor's (inside joke) very nice secondhand bookstores, I am able to indulge in 'one-new-Discworld-a-week' habit.


On The Back Of A… Turtle? Ooh-kaay…

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 1: "In Which They See Something They Haven't Before, But For Which There Is Precedent" or "A Giant Space Turtle? Well, There Was A Giant Space Whale, So…"

Disclaimer: Discworld belongs to His Greatness, Terry Pratchett, Lord of the Disk, He Who Might Be Able To Kick Weatherwax's Ass, etc. Kingdom Hearts belongs to square.

Hey, it had to happen some time…


Sora, Donald and Goofy stared at the front of the Gummy ship's boobs. This was because Yuffie, in a burst of rather bizarre humor, had rebuilt their gummy ship as a giant version of Tifa. The way the legs were bent and considering that they'd caught her pulling together a couple more gummy parts, she was probably about to add a giant Cloud too…

Oh, sorry, loose tangent.

Anyway, as to why they were staring…

"That's a giant turtle," Sora said. He was an island boy and could very well identify a turtle when he saw one. "It's a giant turtle with four elephants on it's back…"

"Maybe it knows Monstro?" Goofy asked, also staring. He was no islander, but he did know enough to ask logical questions… that is, if you don't consider the nature of things too closely.

"This is impossible…" Donald said, eyes wide and staring more than the other two. "I mean, Monstro wasn't a world, and worlds don't go around looking like giant animals, they look like…"

"Giant pumpkins?" Goofy suggested.

"Yes!" the duck cried. "That's how a proper world is supposed to look like!"

Sora stared out the window, considering the view before him. On top of the elephants, they could clearly see a flattened piece of world. It was pretty big, and looked even bigger than most worlds did from outside. Inside, worlds were properly big and world-sized, but this was the first time he'd seen one that was properly big and world-sized from the outside too.

"Well… we'd better check it out. In case of Heartless activity, you know…" he said hesitantly.


"Superior?" Saïx said through the Organization's intercom system as he continued to stare at the readings their instruments, used to do unnecessary and invasive things to reality in general, were showing. "I believe you need to come down and look at this. I am not sure if I'm interpreting the instruments correctly."

"What is it you think you're having problems with?" Xemnas answered back.

"I was checking the Color-Magnitude Diagram and I came across something unusual."

"On the Hertzsprung-Russell diagram? What was it?"

"A giant turtle."

There was a pause.

"Saïx… are attempting to reproduce a sense of humor?"

"No Superior."

"Are you intoxicated and attempting to reproduce being drunk?"

"No Superior."

Another pause.


"No Superior, I am not Axel."

One last pause. Saïx picked his nose.

"I'll be right there."

"Yes Superior."


Pete was just flying through space, minding his own business and looking for worlds for Maleficent to take over with Heartless when…

"Mother of Disney, is that a giant turtle!?!"


- To be continued...


A/N: another crack fic, brought to you by yours truly! Enjoy!

Please review, C&C welcome. Send any flames to Granny Weatherwax and we will kindly take care of your funeral arrangements, since you'll definitely need it…

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.