Disclaimer: I think that I would shoot myself if before writing a 700 page book.


Summary: It wasn't supposed to be this hard. It was just a new school… but the fact that everyone hated her because of her name was making it increasingly harder for her… then of course there is the boy that she loved who won't give her the time of day. The story of the "wonderful" life of a Black.


Chapter I: Irresolute Decisions


She arrived at the school shocked by its massive size in comparison to Bauxbeatens. Sure she had seen pictures of the school, but they did not do it justice. This was incredible. It truly was beautiful and she couldn't help, but be intimidated by its imposing figure. not to mention the fact that the rest of her family had attended this school. Before, no one knew who she was. She could be whoever she wanted to be, but now they had expectations. People had met her family in this school. People had heard of her. People would judge her, that fact was without a doubt.

Oh woe is me, for my parents are idiotic enough to send me to this hell whole, she thought to herself bitterly as she reminisced over the conversation that had took place regarding her enrollment into Hogwarts


'I'm not going to Hogwarts! I love Bauxbeatens and I'm not about to leave it, you can't force me to go to Hogwarts!' she yelled at him stubbornly, standing her ground.

'I can't?' he asked her, laughing at her statement. 'Who the hell pays for enrollment?! I dictate where you will attend, and you my dear will go to Hogwarts, mark my words on that.'

'Well then screw school, I won't go!'

'Oh you will,' he told her in a knowing voice.

'And why the hell would I ever do that?'

"Because if you don't I will make sure that that bloody mud blood of a friend of yours-"

"Her name is Alison," she defended her friend.

'She's a mud blood either way, but if you don't I will make sure you regret it- on that wench's behalf,' he spat at her.

'Fine,' she told him through gritted teeth. 'I'll go to Hogwarts, but you better no touch her or so help me-'

'Threatening me is not the way to go about it dear, why would I help you if you're just going to underestimate the extent of my chivalry?' he asked her with a sardonic gleam in his eyes, such a maniacal one that for the first time in her life she felt scared.

'Don't touch her!' she screamed at him, abandoning all reason, lunging towards him.

He caught her effortlessly, pinning her to the wall, holding her by the neck. 'You don't have to love me or even like me, but you will respect me,' he roared at her. 'If you don't want you little friend to be endangered in any way then stay away form her,' he told her before throwing her to the ground and leaving the room.

She picked herself off the floor once he left the room, trying to stop the tears making way. 'Lily, be strong. Don't let him get to you,' she told herself, repeating the mantra that had been used so often in the past. Once she finally regained composure she went to her father's desk and took out a quill and piece of parchment from the drawer.


I love you like a sister and you've been a great friend to me. There have only been two people whom I trusted enough to act as a confidant for me and thank you for being one of them, but I'm leaving. I have to go to Hogwarts and after tonight you have to promise me that you won't ever write or contact me again… just trust me on this, you know that I don't do anything without a reason.

I'll miss you,


She opened the window and called out for her owl who quickly came to her, 'hey Peep, bring this to Alison and don't wait for a response,' she told him as she attached the letter to his leg.

She stood there in front of the window, she watched her owl disappear, she watched a friendship dissipate.


All that just so I could finally live up to the family name…

'Ms. Black,' a voice interrupted her thoughts, 'we should head to the Great Hall for your sorting. The first years have already begun theirs, and you shall go last.'

She nodded and followed the woman, apprehensive as to what would occur, especially regarding the house into which she would be sorted. She was well aware of the fact that that seemingly small decision would dictate the rest of her life and who she would become… it dictated the people that she would be surrounded by… it would make the difference between whether or not her cousin would finally accept her.

The large doors opened only to reveal four rows of tables with students sitting in clusters; she walked in to see a line of four small students standing before a hat that was placing them into their rightful houses.

That hat meant the world to her. Its decision would finally answer the question that she had been dying to know for the past week: if I end up ion Slytherine, what does that make me? What does that say about me? Will the hat put me into the house because it thinks that I'm like the rest of them?

If I make it into the house there's no avoiding my family…

An old man took the stage, gaining the attention of the entire hall. The authoritative figure (whom she immediately recognized as Albus Dumbledore) had a soft twinkle in his eyes that made her glad about her parents' decision (a first). 'Well students, as you are all well aware, with every new year come new changes and additions. However, this year it will arrive in a different form. This year we have a new student, and I am proud to note that she has come from a long line of attendees of this school and many of her family members attend as well.' At that comment chatter erupted through out the hall as they tried to figure out which family Dumbledore could be referring to fore it was obviously a prominent one, 'I can see that you are anxious to see who our new student is this year, so students I would like to present Lillian Audrey Black,' and with that statement he moved to the side so that the students could finally see her.

Gossip erupted throughout the great hall once again after that statement; the entire room was filled with questions and confusion. People were curious as to why she hadn't attended at an earlier age and just how badwas she? After all the Blacks didn't hold the most respectable reputation among much of the school's population.

'Silence,' Dumbledore said, and with that one word the entire hall became quiet (as per his request) 'now we shall abide by tradition and begin with the sorting. Ms. Black please take a seat,' she did as she was told and he placed the hat upon her head.

'Nervous I see, very scared. Odd…'

'And why may I ask is that odd?' she asked the voice (i.e. the hat).

"You are scared of yourself rather than your family regardless of what they do to you… You fear the principles that you have been taught since you were young… You fear not being accepted by those that you love most, those that you respect…"

"I see a brilliance which would make you perfect for…"

'R-' he said aloud, but he quickly stopped himself, startling everyone. Even Dumbledore himself was disturbed by the development; he had never seen the hat indecisive when it came to its choice regarding a student's placement into a house.

'You have a strong mind. Based upon your lineage one would assume that you would be a perfect candidate for Slytherine, much like the rest of your family. You would definitely be useful and prosperous in that house. What do you think?'

She didn't reply. She wanted him to make his decision based upon what he knew, not her desires. He probably knew more about her than she did because of his ability to scrutinize and monitor the "inner workings" of her mind.

The hat chuckled, 'I must say that I find it very fascinating that you are able to block the reason for your timidity at the moment. It takes much courage and power to do that, a person of such bravery would be a great asset to…'

'GRYFFINDOR!' the hat shouted and the entire hall erupted in cheers, minus that of the Black clan.


Lily ran into the arms of Carter Henry, the seventh year Gryffindor seeker and her best friend. He hugged her and spun her in the air, glad that she was finally with him.

As he set her down and she finally released him from her bone-crushing embrace he told her: 'my Lilykins is officially stuck with me. This may be the proudest day of my life, your entering Gryffindor and all,' he told her as he wiped away a fake tear.

She slapped his arm before, laughing at his antics before sobering and drastically changing in mood. 'He told me that I would do well in Slytherine,' she told her friend, still confused as to what that meant to her.

'And the hat was right, she would practically be their queen,' a voice said from behind them. They both turned only to see Lily's greatest fear. The one person who's standards she could never meet.

'Just because she would do well in Slytherine doesn't mean that she belongs there. Anyway, you should know as well as I do that they aren't all the scum of the earth, or do I need to remind you of your latest girlfriend? You really do maintain the Black image rather well, don't you?' Carter spat at the boy in her defense.

Sirius was shocked, a fact that was blatantly obvious from the expression upon his face, but he quickly regained control of himself and came right up to her. She looked at him, the fury was evident in his eyes, so powerful that she was almost scared, 'You can't fool me,' he spat at her. 'You're just like the rest of out family, and I know it, it's just a shame you got your ruddy claws into Carter.'

She couldn't let his words get to her; she wouldn't let him win, 'based on your chivalry,' she said, the word was dripping with sarcasm, 'I would guess that the only one that is really most similar them is you. You should really think about joining the welcoming committee.'

With those words she walked away, allowing Carter to lead her to the dormitories.