Disclaimer: I only own this story – Kishimoto owns Naruto and everything within it

A/N: I suck don't I? Such a long wait. I'm so sorry everyone.

Special Note: This chapter is dedicated to my dear friend camisadodownpour, as I have promised this chapter to her if she would do her assignment. Really. Must I take such drastic measures to ensure you work? But still, you have been a very patient friend (or I'm just lazy...possibly both). I love you to itty-bitty pieces and wouldn't trade you for the world. I could say a whole lot more sappy things, but I doubt you'd want them all over the web. XP

Warnings: This chapter contains profanity, S&M references, shonen-ai ...etc (-- I couldn't resist the S&M...for those who don't know what it is...beware. XP)


We go back inside to find the house deserted. I look around.

"Where is everyone?"

Deidara snorts. "Hideo is probably throwing a hissy fit about how his future stepson is gay, un."

I can't help but smirk at that. "He'll have to deal with it, won't he brat?"

He shoots me a dirty glare. "Am I doomed to forevermore be known as brat, un?"

He doesn't wait for an answer, but pads over to the refrigerator. He throws open the freezer and digs through the frozen food items. Emerging with a tray of ice, he closes the freezer and tips the tray upside down, shaking it lightly.

"I think you'll have to break it."

He shrugs and smashes it into the marble bench top, sending bits of ice spinning across the surface and broken plastic tumbling to the floor. I wince. That was loud.

"Yum, un," says Deidara, popping an ice cube in his mouth.

I stare disbelievingly. "Ice, yum?"

"It's a free country, un."

"But you're a pyromaniac and you like eating ice?"

"Are there laws against it?"

"Possibly the laws of nature."

"Want one, un?" He holds out the tray.

"I'll pass."

"Had fun boys?"

The hairs on the back my neck bristle and I can see from Deidara's expression that the intruder isn't Suzume. I turn around to see Hideo leaning in the doorway.

"We were, un," says Deidara.

Hideo ignores the hint. "Suzume thinks you should be going back now."

"You mean that's what you think, un," says Deidara under his breath.

"What was that, Dei?"

Deidara's head snaps up furiously. "Don't call me that!"

"Fine, Deidara."

"We should get your artwork, Sasori," Deidara says, ignoring him. Then he adds, "The one that I gave to you, un. The one that I really, really love, even though I gave it to you."

Feeling rather amused, I allow him to grab my arm in an almost clinging manner and drag me away. Hideo moves clear out of our way.

"Disgusting filth," he mutters, almost too quiet to hear.

Deidara freezes and I feel his grip tighten painfully. I have the incredible urge to smash Hideo's handsome face in.

"Did you say something?" asks Deidara politely. Only a fool would be oblivious to the underlying rage.

"No, no," smiles Hideo with a sickeningly cheerful smile. "Make sure you're ready soon."

"You're not taking us are you?" asks Deidara, not bothering to hide his dislike.

"Oh no, Suzume will be." Again, with the sickeningly happy smile.

Deidara gives a soft sigh of relief and pulls me away. I cast a backward glance at Hideo and see that his face has darkened into an angry scowl.

"You know," I say, as we reach his bedroom door. "I could almost feel the hate radiating off the both off you."

"Good, un," replies Deidara, retrieving and handing me the clay figurine carefully.

I hold it in my cupped hands. I can't stop myself examining the intricate details all over again.

"Are you sure you don't want the explosive mixture, un?" asks Deidara hopefully. "In case you change your mind?"

"Yes I'm sure," I say dryly. "We shouldn't keep him waiting. Let's go."

"The longer we stay, the longer he has us 'filth' defiling his house, un," retorts Deidara. "Are you that eager to go back to the prison?"

"No, I just don't like keeping people waiting," I say absent-mindedly. I run my fingers over the beak and wonder how he made all the tiny little details. I still can't believe he was going to blow it up. I'm rather proud of myself for managing to save such a masterpiece.

He turns to look for more artworks, carefully placing the selected ones on the shelf. A spider, an owl, a centipede…

"You should be a little more careful around him," I warn.

He groans. "Why does everyone think I'm stupid?"

"Well, the little hug and almost-kiss, along with the grabbing and clinging of my arm didn't exactly show your remarkable intellect. Especially when you're doing all this right in front of him."


"Looked like you were provoking him, brat."

He gives me a strange look. "What else would I be doing, un?"

"…you're missing the point."

It is becoming dark outside, with the sun half-way through setting. Golden and orange streaks adorn the horizon, highlighting the clouds in pink and purple, fading into the darkness of night. I watch the city lights flash by, blurring into a series of coloured stripes. A sense of fatigue has fallen over the occupants of the car. Nobody moves. Nobody says anything.

I hold the clay bird in my lap, rubbing my thumb along the ridges and valleys. I turn to stare at Deidara, his blonde hair shimmering softly in the artificial glow. His eyes are unfocused, glassy and empty. He is expressionless, reflection faint in the glass.

Casting my gaze out the window again, I freeze, eyes widening. I blink furiously, squeezing my eyes shut and then quickly scanning the view out the window. There is nothing there now. But the image is burned into my mind. A pair of ringed eyes. Cold, calculating and staring deep into my own as if staring right through me.

A tingle runs down my spine. I hear the faint sound of thumping and wonder if it's my heart or something from outside. Perhaps someone is trailing me?

I scold myself. What the hell am I thinking? Since when did I become so paranoid?

Glancing back out the window, the scenery has changed to rolling mounds of countryside. Not that you can see much in the darkness anyway.

"Almost there," says Suzume.

I peer out into the black shrouding the area. I can see a faint light up ahead. I'm guessing that's the hospital. Or prison, if you want to be more realistic. Either way, that's where I'll be stuck until they figure I'm sane enough to function as a normal human being in a normal human environment. Fat chance.

A sudden jerk brings me back to the present. I hear the click of seatbelts being released.

"Welcome home, danna," says Deidara in a mournful tone.

We stumble out of the car and up the steps into the building. The receptionist greets us and Shizune appears at the doorway to the ward. I start to Shizune, pausing to look back at Deidara. He stands there, not quite sure of what to do.

"...bye Suzume," he says and turns to me, expression somewhat blank.

"I'll see you later, Dei," calls Suzume.

We follow Shizune back and enter the maze of corridors. Deidara's gaze is cast down and he is frowning.

"Did you have fun?" asks Shizune, oblivious to the mood.

Deidara grunts in reply as we arrive at the cafeteria. I immediately turn left and head inside my room. Deidara stands there, watching Shizune leave hurriedly, scolding Gaara who tried to sneak away a fork.

I sigh. "Do you want to come in?"

Deidara doesn't say anything but merely walks through my door, held open at my invitation.

"Something wrong?"

He shoots me an annoyed glance. "What do you think, un?"

"Do elaborate."

"Can't you just figure it out yourself?"

"I let you in for company, not to be in the presence of a moody effeminate boy."

He scowls. "I'll get enough jabs in at my looks later thank you."

"Ah, Hideo."

"You seemed fine before."

"Tch, it's starting to sink in now. If I want my sister to be happy, I'm stuck with Hideo. If I want to be happy...my sister won't be. It's a lose-lose situation, un."

"You have plenty of options."

"No I don't."

"Well, if you would only consider them."

"You know I won't."

"Then it's your problem."

"Typical. You're still your uncaring self, un."

"What, did you think I would change just for you?"


I laugh. "Don't keep your hopes up too high."

He grumbles. "Maybe I should think about accepting that horse-girl person's offer. Since no one cares about me here, un."

I'm instantly an alert. "What horse girl?"

"The one who nearly killed me back when I went for a walk."

He must have noticed my disbelieving look, as he shrugged dismissively.

"I'm still alive aren't I? Stop worrying, un."

"I wasn't worrying."

"Keep telling yourself that, danna."

Trudging to the kitchen, I yawn and find myself wondering where Deidara is. I can't seem to find my previous awkwardness. Seating myself at my usual table, I warily glance to Naruto, settled nearby. He's staring at Sasuke with an enraptured expression. Sasuke ignores him, choosing to stare out the window instead.

"Hi danna!"

I wince at the happily obnoxious voice. Why did I have to choose to pair up with a morning person?

Deidara waves from his position in the corridor. I stare. I refuse to demean my dying (or quite possibly already dead) reputation any further. Sasori Akasuna does not wave. No way.

Oh what the hell. I raise my hand in defeat as a smile stealthily sneaks its way up onto my usually scowling face. Love is blind I suppose. And so would all my school friends be, if they could see the ridiculous attitude coming over me.

...that is, if I had any school friends. Which I'm pretty sure I don't.

"Why are you so happy?" I ask, resisting the urge to tell him to stop smiling. I shouldn't be a hypocrite.

"Is it a crime?" replies Deidara cheerfully, depositing himself in a chair.

"No, but I might catch it."

"You make that sound like a bad thing, un."

"Trust me. It is," I assure him.

"Fine," grumbles Deidara, instantly dropping the smile. His blank face and vividly blonde hair don't go well together.

"...you washed your hair today?" I ask in a flat tone.

"What, is that a crime too?"

"No, unfortunately no. Why do you keep asking that?" I ask irritably.

"Why are you using an accusing tone, un?" counteracts Deidara.

My lips twitch as I notice his expression hasn't changed at all. I scowl inwardly. I used to be proud of my own poker face.

"You're a brat, you know that?" I tell him.

"Likewise, you're a failure at communication, un," says Deidara mildly. "Oh, hello Itachi. Good morning?"

"It will be soon," says Itachi secretively, as he starts setting out the cutlery.

I raise an eyebrow. "The unexcitable Itachi predicts a good morning? I thought you were on my side."

He shrugs. "Being unpredictable makes people interesting."

I glare at him. "Isn't this the part where you deny your betrayal and assure me that you're on my side after all?"

He looks at me funny. "...no."

"Fine. Today and its contents hate me," I declare.

"I'm not a content!" protests Deidara indignantly. He points to himself and pulls a pouty face. "I thought you loved me!"

"In case you're wondering, I did not proclaim my undying love for Deidara yesterday," I say matter-of-factly to Itachi who looks slightly confused. I ignore Deidara as his pouting lip juts out further.

"I would've guessed you had more dignity than that," Itachi agrees, setting down two plastic cups.

"But he did kiss me, un!" says Deidara enthusiastically, instantly brightening.

"...and I stand corrected," deadpans Itachi.

"I feel abused," I mumble.

"There's always a first time. Which is generally hardest," says Itachi in an almost comforting voice. Well, as close to comforting as a cold murderer can sound.

"And that gives me exactly what to look forward to?" I ask flatly.

"Plenty more embarrassment, un," says Deidara happily. "This should be fun."

"Well, fuck you," I retort, giving him the finger.

"Itachi?" Gaara's voice rings out over the cafeteria. It cuts through all the noise, rendering the room silent.

"I want my cutlery."


I ponder what to do today, staring at the mirror on my room wall. Having free time to actually do something of personal choice is rare. But then again, I never have anything to do. Not that I could go out in public anyway. Notoriety isn't as good as it's all hyped up to be. Especially after having your face printed in the newspaper for 2 weeks straight.

The bed springs creak as I settle down on the covers. At least most of the patients had been reasonably on good behaviour. I check my watch, before reprimanding myself – I mustn't be anxious. That would be most unlike me. Still, I can't help but sneak a glance at my watch. At 2 minutes intervals, it tells me.

Sighing, I flop backwards, satisfied with the solid thump of my back hitting the covers. The ceiling is underappreciated, I think to myself. It's always so clean. Except for when Gaara decides to throw red paint around. It's mildly annoying when I'm the one who has to clean it off because Tsunade-sama 

insists it's a fairly hostile environment. Then Naruto would pipe up about why blood couldn't be blue, so it'd be a peaceful colour and everyone would be happy. Of course, he's promptly taken down by a scathing remark by Sasuke.

"Was I ever a child?" I ask myself, aloud.

What a silly thing to do. Talking to yourself in a psychiatric hospital. An ex-patient too. I suppose a few vestiges of insanity remain in me. What a pleasant thought.

I abruptly sit up as yelling shatters through the calm atmosphere. It figures; you can't hope for peace around here. Optimism doesn't get you anywhere in this hospital. After all, I'm the one who has to clean up all the messes.

I crack open my door, just in case Sasuke may have gotten around to carrying out his threats. Once I'm sure no garrotting wires are about to slice me to pieces, I quietly make my way down the hall.

Peering into the Recreation room, I am greeted by a rather amusing scene. Or you could call it blackmail.

"Having fun?" I smirk.

Deidara jumps off Sasori as if electrocuted, stumbling back in the manner of a deer caught in the headlights. He stares at me and then glances to Sasori, a red flush quickly spreading up his face.

"Nothing happened, un!" says Deidara in a panicky voice.

"You never cease to amaze me, brat," drawled Sasori, looking very comfortable, seated on the couch.

Deidara whips his head around to glare hotly at Sasori. "And what does that mean, danna?"

"You were happy enough to yell out the whole Sasori-loves-me thing at breakfast, but you're afraid of sharing a kiss now?" asks Sasori, raising an eyebrow. "And in front of an obvious gay boy too..."

"Are you certain of that, Sasori?" I ask, hiding my surprise. I didn't think it would show that easily...

Deidara scowls and looks closely at me. "You set a bad stereotype, un."

I resist the urge to poke his forehead. "And you shouldn't speak."

He points dramatically at me. "You shouldn't be mean to psychiatric patients! I might blow you up, un!"

"You set people on fire, not detonate them."

Deidara lifts his head, indignantly. "Are we not allowed uniqueness, un?"

"You've taken more than your share," I reply.

"Should I set you on fire now, un?"

"And your fire-tools are where?"

Deidara pulls a face as he shoves his hand deep into his pockets then hastily pulls his pants back up with the other hand. A triumphant expression plasters itself across his face as he draws out a plastic bag, filled with a white powder.

"Drugs?" asks Sasori, looking surprised. "Where'd you get those from?"

Deidara glares at him. "Don't say that so loudly! Besides, it's my explosive mixture. You don't want it right now, but I'm sure you'll change your mind, so I thought I might as well bring it along, un!"

Maybe he's just incredibly blonde. I hold out my hand patiently.

"You can borrow some later, un," Deidara assures me.

I cough and stare expectantly. Sasori sighs and stands up. In a deft move, he snatches the plastic bag, much to an aghast Deidara.


"You set a pretty high standard for all blondes worldwide," says Sasori matter-of-factly. He tosses the bag to me in disgust.

"Mutual agreement here," I say monotonously. I carefully pocket the bag, making note to dispose of it later.

"You should throw those in the fire," says Sasori, eying them warily.

"You must still be suicidal, danna," says Deidara cheerfully. "Explosive, remember?"

"I am not suicidal," Sasori replies harshly.

A stony silence overtakes us, Deidara looking slightly dejected. I suppose that's the difference between a high school romance and a psychiatric romance. Besides all the drama of course. And being surrounded by an almost suffocatingly gay atmosphere may have had something to do with it too...

"I don't suppose you were the one shouting?" I ask Deidara, focusing back to the original topic.

"No. He yelps," offers Sasori.

Deidara frowns at him, unwilling to say more in fear of causing offense again. He steals a quick glance at Sasori. I sigh. Such childish antics.

"You really make the perfect couple," I say sarcastically.

"And when do we get to meet your boyfriend?" responds Sasori, with equal sarcasm.

"Who told you I had a boyfriend?" I retort, feigning innocence. To myself, at the very least.

"You're just as effeminate as the blonde here. I don't see why you shouldn't have a boyfriend."

"Danna! My side, you're supposed to be on my side, dammit, un!" protests Deidara, jabbing his chest for emphasis.

"I suppose the voice was a little too deep for Deidara," I muse, turning to glance out of the room.

"That's a borderline insult, brat," smirks Sasori.

"Unless it turns out Deidara is male after all," I say, moving out of the room.

I try to keep my smile under control. No use enraging the already furious Deidara even further. The last I see is Sasori struggling to hold a flailing Deidara back. Or was the silencing kiss the last I saw?

Stepping into the corridor again, I turn in the general direction of the reception. I have a slight feeling I know where the shouts came from. I mustn't be optimistic, I mustn't be optimistic…

But the hope still rushes through me. Is that what people call a warm and fuzzy feeling? I don't think I like them very much…I take a breath from the annoyingly nauseous feeling. I cringe, my mind feeling distorted and irrational. You can't afford either in a psychiatric ward. Unless you're feeling particularly suicidal, but then you'd be a patient wouldn't you?

"Itachi-san. Are you okay?" asks a concerned voice.

I glance up to see Shizune, worriedly looking at me.

"Maybe you should take a break. You look pale," she tells me.

"He always looks pale, un," Deidara chimes in, peeking from the edge of the doorframe. He helpfully adds, "Besides, I think the colour you're looking for is more of a sallow yellow, un."

"Deidara-san, that isn't very nice," says Shizune, sternly.

"Do I need to be punished? I wouldn't mind, un," Deidara purrs, looking knowingly into the room.

I gag and Shizune pales. Though, if it's at the suggestion of S&M or the idea of using corporeal punishment, I'm not sure. The staff are surprisingly oblivious here. Except for me of course.

"You dirty whore," comes the mumbled reply.

There is a thump, sounding suspiciously like a pillow connecting solidly with a back. Deidara spins around, looking furious once again.

"You hit my hair, un!"

"You made dirty insinuations," replies Sasori's flat voice.

"Now I have to wash it!" wails Deidara.

"You can wash out your mouth while you're at it."

"Would you like to help me wash, danna?" says Deidara in a suggestive tone. "No, wait! Do not throw that at me!"

I heard another thump (albeit much louder than the previous one). Of course, this one sounds suspiciously like one body hitting the other. Thrashing sounds ensue. As well as some rather interesting noises… I figure it's best to distract Shizune.

"Shizune," I say, regaining control of my flip-flopping stomach. "Did you hear the shouting, perhaps 10 minutes ago now?"

Shizune taps her lips in thought. "I think there was a visitor…I'm not sure…"

My heart starts beating faster. "Was he yelling something about sharp weapons?"

She brightens. "That's it! Some kind of long rant about the sand and surf and I think something about a surfing sword…I don't remember much more. I was supervising Gaara-san and his sand. I apologise Itachi-san."

"That's fine. Thank you," I say politely, pushing down the excitement that threatens to force its way out of me.

It's strangely quiet now. Perhaps the two artists have knocked themselves out?

"Oh danna!"

"Shut the fuck up, brat!"

"You know you love me, un."

A resigned sigh. "Do I have a choice? I wouldn't want to break your pretty little heart."

You could almost see the radiance from Deidara's smile, even though I couldn't see it directly.

"But you're right of course. Bad boys need to be punished…" Sasori's voice takes a seductive tone.

"Danna?" Deidara sounds surprised. "Danna, wait, danna, what are you doing? Danna?!"

I take it as my cue to shut off. And slowly backing away sounds like a reasonable thing to do too.

I quickly make my way down the corridor, leaving behind a puzzled Shizune. I can feel the bounce in my step and frankly, I'm disgusted. I should exercise more self-control. Honestly…

My footsteps echo along the tiled floor of the reception. I stop, my breath catching in my throat. A small smile creeps across my face. I can feel my will melt away. I, dare I say it, happily lean against the wall and watch as Kisame waves his sword menacingly at the reception staff who are trying in vain to calm him down.

"No, you cannot take Samehada, dammit!"

"Sir, it is forbidden to bring anything sharp enough to cut- "

"I told you! It shaves, Samehada doesn't cut!"

"But it's sharp, and it's dangerous to bring such objects into close proximity with some of our patients…"

"Samehada is not an object! It is a valuable heirloom!"

The staff hurriedly leap back as an impatient Kisame takes a wild swing at them.

"Sir! I think it's time we escort you out…"

"How about I escort myself in?" replies Kisame, roughly pushing past the stumbling staff.

He stops, catching sight of me. He raises his eyebrows.

"Was it too hard to lend a hand?"

I hold up my hands in a mock apology. "Looking after psychopathic patients does take its toll on stamina after a while."

"Not too tired I hope?" asks Kisame, devilish smile appearing.


Deidara and I stealthy sneak after Itachi. In a manner I find most unlike me. Akasuna Sasori, creeping after a feminine boy with another feminine boy? Cringe-worthy.

"Danna!" Deidara whispers. "Hurry up and stop looking so day-dream-ish, un."

"I do not look day-dream-ish!" I snap and then clamp my hands over my mouth.

Deidara glances around wildly, spotting a nearby doorway. He yanks me in by the shirt and I stifle a yelp as something falls on my head. Damn being so short.

"What the fuck was that?" I whisper angrily.

Deidara snorts. "The broom, un."

"…we're in a broom closet."

"And I thought you were supposed to be the smart one, un."

"And you're still the dirty one. Haven't you heard of all those broom closet escapades?"

"I must be uneducated. Teach me later, un?"

"Oh, so I am the smart one?" I ask sarcastically.

"Only because you know of such dirty matters," says Deidara smugly.

Fuck him for turning my words against me.

"Why are we doing this again, un?"

"Because we are mental hospital patients who lack entertainment."

"This is kind of pathetic isn't it? This is Itachi, after all…"

"Would you like to stalk Gaara instead?"

"He has sand!"

"Well, I'm sure he'll leave you in large, easy to put back together pieces."

"Pessimism isn't healthy danna."

"Neither is optimism."

"We're losing him! Un!"

"Could you be any more conspicuous? Shut up!"

Deidara pops his head into the corridor, checking to see if the way is clear. I sigh and walk out. He glares at me.

"Can't you play along, un?"

"Don't be childish."

Deidara scowls and follows me in the general direction where Itachi was headed. I can't help but feel happy. Being in psychiatric hospital, I'd say things are as bad as they can go. Feeling happy here is a strange idea. But hey, I'm not complaining.

I stop abruptly and stagger forwards as Deidara walks into me.

"Can't you look where you're going?"

"Don't be mean!" protests Deidara. "You're very moody you know, un."

"Says the blonde who's been accused of PMSing."

Deidara crosses his arms and turns away from me. "Don't you think Hideo will be enough?"

"Would it make a difference if I said this was romantic teasing?" I say blankly.

"How about I show my appreciation through explosive romance? The artistic kind, un."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Hey, where's Itachi? Un?"

"Are you always this slow?"

I turn on my heel and turn the corner into yet another corridor. It seems familiar…I suddenly realize this is the corridor that leads to the reception. I vaguely wonder if we'd get into trouble. The staff always seems to vanish mysteriously during free time. I quicken my pace, ignoring Deidara who is mumbling half-hearted insults at my back.

I strode into the reception then stop dead. I've frozen in shock. Well aware that my mouth must be gaping open, I stare until I come to enough senses to regain my dignity. I swivel and flee back into the corridor, running into with a solid thump. Knocking a confused Deidara to the ground, almost falling over myself. I flail, but manage to stop myself from a possibly compromising situation.

"Ow! Danna, geez…"moans Deidara. "Couldn't you look where- mmph!"

I fall on to Deidara, in a failed attempt to shut him up. Well, perhaps not entirely failed. Deidara stares wide-eyed at me, stunned into silence.

"Danna, I know you want me, but- mmph!"

Impatiently, I jam my hand over his mouth, trying not to grimace. I swear, if Deidara's eyes get any bigger, they could quite possibly roll out of their sockets.

"Shut up, brat," I hiss in a low voice.

He squirms uncomfortably underneath me and I do my best to pretend there is no friction. Of course, that was hoping I had some control over my supposedly raging hormones. Which I didn't.

"Stop moving!" I grunt, trying to stand up, but keep my hand over his mouth at the same time.

Leaving me in an awkward straddle position. Deidara blinks innocently at me. I glance to the reception, hoping desperately no one is coming. I can feel a strange hotness creeping up my neck. I bite my lip nervously. My neck isn't the only place the strange hotness is going…

Pain suddenly shoots up my arm and I jerk back, landing on the tiles behind me. I glare viciously at Deidara, who stares at me triumphantly. I narrow my eyes and mouth death threats, cradling my hand.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I fume silently.

"Giving back the love, un." Deidara folds his arms smugly.

I inspect my arm gingerly, wincing as I see the bite marks. I poke the ridiculously deep indents tentatively, growling at Deidara as silently as possible.

"That's going to leave a mark you idiot."

"I'm returning the favor," retorts Deidara. He nods knowingly to my neither regions. "You've left a rather large mental scar, danna."

I blush furiously, inwardly shrinking away. This cannot be happening. I keep my eyes down, wishing I were somewhere else.

"At least I know you love me, un," smirks Deidara, grinning widely.

I pull myself up, refusing to look Deidara in the eye. I jump as a furious voice yells out behind me. I hear a choking sound and stare at Deidara. He seems to have paled.

"I know that voice," he says, in an almost fearful voice.

Curious, I motion him over and he scrambles to his feet. Together, we cautiously peer around the edge of the corridor corner. I hear a sharp intake of breath.

"It's Kisame. What is he doing here, un?" I hear Deidara say, sounding confused.

I say nothing, watching as Kisame pushes past the staff and then suddenly stops. My heart thuds loudly and I can't help but stare. Perhaps he's seen us? I contemplate the urge to run.

"Was it too hard to lend a hand?"

"Is he talking to us, un?" asks Deidara urgently. I feel him tense up, getting ready to run.

"Who is he?" I manage to ask, hopefully without moving.

"Kisame, un."

"Well, the name fits," I mutter.

Another voice answers. "Looking after psychopathic patients does take its toll on stamina after a while."

"Not too tired I hope?" asks the stranger, devilish smile appearing.

"Isn't that Itachi's voice?" asks Deidara, sounding more and more confused. "I don't get it!"

I crane my neck further around the corner and see Itachi. I'm surprised to see such a happy smile on his face. It's freakishly abnormal.

"Is he…happy, un?" asks Deidara, sounding awed. "Wait, is that a sword?!"

"...at least Gaara isn't here."

We both stare in amazement as Kisame slings the massive sword over his back and embraces Itachi.

"What. The. Fuck," I say under my breath.

Itachi's hands creep up behind Kisame's back and I could've sworn I saw Itachi bury his head in Kisame's chest. I see Kisame's lips moving and I can only imagine what he might be whispering. He runs his fingers gently through Itachi's hair, with some sort of tenderness I didn't think was possible. I hear Deidara give a soft sigh.

A soft voice speaks, "If we take this a little further, do you think they'd be guilty of voyeurism?"

I pale.

"Who cares? We must be fun to look at."

Kisame leans back and tilts Itachi's chin up. A feeling of incredible awkwardness comes over me and I hold my breath as they kiss.

"Danna?" says Deidara quietly. "I want a kiss too, un."

"You didn't want one fifteen minutes ago," I reply feebly.

Deidara pouts and I can't help but wish we were back in that closet.

"Coming out?" asks Itachi.

I look around to make sure he's talking to us before hoisting Deidara up and subtly using him as a boy guard. Luckily, he's as oblivious as ever.

"So I was right, wasn't I?" I remark, trying not to stare too hard at Kisame.

"You're blue, un!" blurts out Deidara, who instantly meeps and tries to hide behind me.

Kisame raises an eyebrow and looks to Itachi. "Are they always this blunt?"

Itachi shrugs. "They're mental hospital patients. What do you expect?"

A/N: Bah. I messed up Itachi's POV, I sound like a textbook, the words sound like something you'd find on an assignment, I've completely lost idea of their characterizations, my inner grammar Nazi isn't kicking in …etc, etc. I could blame it on the fact that I this chapter was written over a span of seven months, but I doubt that's a good enough excuse. (Did the extra 700 words make up for it? (Goal was 5000)) XD

Okay, here's the thing. You know how I haven't exactly written much lately…I've kind forgotten the plan I had for this story. If anyone can see any plotholes they'd like to see cleared up, please tell me. Same thing goes for things you might like to see happen in the story. I feel kinda muddled right now. Kind people who point out missing plot bits and plot ends that need to be tied up will be appreciated from the bottom of my muddled heart.

Have I learnt my lesson? –chants 'no slacking' mantra-

(And I must say I agree with sorafan08….SasoDei has become overly popular. I must shield myself from the fangirls!)