1. Brain Damage

"You dropped our son," she hissed.

It was a true hiss; a hiss that could only be mastered by someone with a uterus. By a person who has more than once suffered through the treachery of a menstrual cycle. It was the kind of hiss that sent even the strongest, most fearsome of men running away like cowards. They would be ready to turn themselves into slaves to save themselves from punishments that they knew were worse than death.

"I'm sorry."

The baby's wailing grew louder at the sound of his father's voice.

"N—Naruto, quiet down," Minato murmured. He was trying to gently rub the spot where the boy had landed on his head.

Kushina pulled away abruptly and glared at him, cradling the little boy.

"You are an idiot," she said, her voice dripping with venom.

He nodded his head rapidly.

"Yes, yes, I am in idiot!" her husband agreed, hoping to avoid any beatings.

Oh, what a sad day it was when the Yondaime Hokage was being brought down by his wife. And even sadder it becomes when he is reminded that he dropped his infant son on his head. He was supposed to be the strongest shinobi in the entire village! He could do all sorts of things! He fought off armies, invented jutsu, destroyed the evil Kyuubi but no—

He dropped his son.

Minato made sure not to sigh or else his wife would bite his head off for acting like he didn't care.

It wasn't completely his fault. See, Kushina was taking a nap and Naruto began his incessant wailing while he lay in his crib, so Minato went to get him. While cradling the still crying boy, he heard the whistle that signaled his water was well and boiled, so they walked to the kitchen. After preparing his ramen with Naruto still in his arms, Minato tried to eat, and Naruto began to squirm, struggling to grab the cup.

Not understanding just what his son wanted, Minato decided that it was nap time and went to bring him back to his crib.

—Which did not make little baby Naruto happy.

His squirming became worse and eventually, he got out of his father's grip.

Thus landing on his head, on the floor.

Leading to the current situation.

"I'm sorry," Minato repeated.

"You better be sorry!" she yelled. "Because of you, Naruto is probably gonna grow up to be some idiot! He's gonna make up dumb jutsu and get himself into trouble all the time."

The redhead kunoichi threw a pillow at the so-called Hokage.

"You are an idiot!"

Minato ducked.

"Now go get us some ramen!"

"Yes dear."