Pein x Konan

2. Table Manners
For IceCrome! You're a genius for suggesting this.
I really like this pairing!

Akatsuki was a name to be feared.

Each member had their specialties in a different field, but they all had one common feature, and that was extreme power. They were all S-Ranked criminals, traitors to their villages and power hungry, ruthless bastards. They never lost any fights and they always triumphed. Okay maybe they didn't win all their fights (god damn those stupid, annoying, teenage brats from Konoha and their freakishly unexpected strength) but they were still fearsome and strong.

But like any normal people (although they weren't per se normal considering how their dream was to take over the world. But then again, many share that dream, just don't have the means to make it a reality) they would have to eat dinner, and since the Akatsuki lair had only one real room for dining (damn Kakuzu, that cheap, money-whore of a prick!) they would always eat their meals together (if everyone was around).

Konan struggled not to chop all their heads off.

Or well, not all of them.

There were the tolerable few like Tobi, who didn't eat with them (the mask, duh!) and Itachi (but that was probably because he came from such a good upbringing—also sometimes causing her to ponder a bit why he would kill his entire clan) but the rest…

They acted like barbarians!

She twitched at the site of Kisame's shark like teeth ripping into the meat on a chicken leg he was eating. And the way that Deidara wasn't the only one eating considering the way his hand was roaming over the table. And Pein—


She grew even more annoyed when he used the back of his hand to wipe some barbeque sauce off of his face when she had so graciously put a napkin by his plate earlier.

"Pein," she called tonelessly.

He continued munching on his food like the other morons


The auburn-haired male most certainly could hear her speaking considering how she was right beside him and the only people talking were Hidan commenting on the food and how some of it might not be to his God's liking (did he need it kosher or something?!), and Kakuzu telling him to shut the hell up.

But then again, their chewing was so loud…


"What?" he snapped with his mouth full.

She raised a hand and before his shinobi sense could even react, she whacked him on the head. "For god's sake you are disgusting!" She pointed to the lower part of his cloak. "Look at that you buffoon! You are staining your cloak, and why? Well that's because you do not know how to use a freaking napkin!"

The table went quiet for a moment.

Most of the men decided to keep their mouths shut (and just smile. Snickering would be bad) and look away.

Hell hath no fury like that of a woman with raging PMS and who lives with a bunch of men.


Her eyes widened for a split second then immediately narrowed as she glared at him venomously.

With the back of her hand, she slapped him again. "Do not talk to me like that!" Konan raged. He opened his mouth to talk back and she cringed disgustedly at the sight of chewed food in his mouth. Her brow twitched in annoyance. "And do not talk with your mouth full either!"

The frown on the face of the Akatsuki leader darkened and he decided to resume eating, rather than fight the woman.

Konan, suddenly caring more about her lover's table manners than her own nourishment, kept her eyes on Pein's eating.

He chewed.

He swallowed.

He raised his hand—

"Use the napkin."

Before the sleeve of his cloak could connect with his sauce-covered lips, her PMS-tainted voice reached his ears and Pein struggled not to shudder fearfully.

With a scowl, he brought his arm back to his mouth. He had a reputation to keep up damnit! Would those stupid S-ranked criminals keep their respect for him if he allowed some woman to step all over him and boss him around when he was the leader?! No, they would not.

This was about pride. It was about his dignity.

His dignity as a leader—

As a man!

Pein smeared the food that was on his face on the sleeve of his cloak and Konan grew even more livid. She held in the shocked gasp and snarl she wanted to let out by grabbing her cup of tea and sipping from it gracefully.

He continued to eat.

And once again, he chewed.

And he swallowed.

And he raised his hand—

"Use the napkin."

He turned his head and glared at her for showing such disrespect to him in front of his minions (of sorts).

Konan paid no heed to the sound of chairs screeching slightly as the boys moved back a bit.

It was now a battle of the wills.

His nostrils flared in the midst of their staring contest. He looked her in the eyes as he brought the back of his hand closer and closer to his mouth.

Konan's fists clenched and she bared her teeth dangerously.

"Use it," she ordered. The tone she spoke in was the kind that married women used to say 'not only will you be sleeping on the couch tonight, but you and your hand will be getting very reacquainted'. "Pein, use the napkin."

He sensed the underlying message and took the napkin with a scowl.

Pein ignored the snickers coming from the others, specifically Hidan, Deidara and Kisame.

(Well at least he was getting laid tonight…)