Shit. Shit. …...Shit. Roxas' mouth fell open in terror at the familiar scolding voice coming from behind him. He reluctantly pulled away from Axel, who stood frozen next to him. Judging by the deer-in-headlights look on Axel's face, he had never been caught in a situation like this either.

He considered a few options, like running, pushing Axel away yelling, "RAPE!", or feigning sleep walking, but all of them seemed to end in some way with his or Axel's demise. And as much as he disliked Axel at times, he didn't really feel like throwing him under the bus. Roxas mentally checked himself off as a martyr, logged away his good act for brownie points later, and settled on sacrificing himself for the good of the gay community. Roxas stood up, pulling his pants up (unfortunately not making the wedgie situation any better) and his shirt down. He turned around on his heel, bracing himself for impact.

However, the impact of what he saw was even more frightening than what he could have ever expected.

Roxas' mother was grinning from ear to ear, her eyes lit up in that "I'm living my life through my son" kind of way. She had her hands clasped together, and if Roxas wasn't so confused by the sight of his mother without steam coming from her ears he would have sworn he saw her jump up and down a couple of times.

"M-Mom...I can explain...?" Roxas spoke slowly and a little confusedly, afraid that his mother was going to explode any moment. There had to be something wrong with her, due to the fact that finding your son making out in a movie theater with another male usually isn't something to be proud over. Roxas suddenly felt Axel shift his weight so that he was leaning incredulously close, and whispered only loud enough for Roxas to hear. "OK, obviously your mother has gone off her rocker. You distract her by removing all of your clothes, and I'll make a run for it. Then I'll meet you in my car outside. Don't bother re-dressing, it'll only look suspicious."

Roxas slammed his foot down on Axel's, causing the redhead to whimper like a scared puppy. "OW, fuck, fine, fine..."

"Honey, the only thing you need to explain is how you found such a catch!"

Roxas was still confused. He was still alive, and still capable of using all of his limbs. His mother was not only not screaming at the top of her lungs, but she appeared to be happy, of all emotions. "Um...well...we work together at the candy shop..." Roxas smiled sheepishly, playing along. A twitch of the eye in Axel's direction let the redhead know he should do the same if he wanted to live.

Axel's face contorted into an impish grin. "Yes! The candy shop! We've been inseparable since the moment we laid eyes on each other!" He grabbed Roxas around the shoulders, causing Roxas to squeak rather femininely. Roxas' mother's excitement seemed to triple at Axel's little display of affection. "How wonderful, just wonderful!" Roxas pried himself from Axel's grip. He had to clear this up before the Twilight Zone fully took effect.

"So...you're...not mad at me?" Roxas inquired, choosing his words carefully. The fetal position he had been in all morning was beginning to look more and more appealing. Damn, he should have drugged Sora's food when he had the chance! But, of course, because this day was throwing curve balls at him like a major league baseball game, his mother had to answer with the most confusing statement in the world.

"Of course not, dear! Why would I be angry? Albeit, making out in a movie theater isn't the most classy thing to do, I'm just happy you found someone to be with! I was beginning to worry about you...and I'm surprised! Good for you for being so comfortable with yourself that you would date a girl taller than you!"

Roxas choked. Girl!??! He glanced at Axel, who had the face of someone who had just been slapped in the face. "G-Girl??" He shouted, disgusted. Roxas' mother nodded, all smiles. "Just wonderful! I can see you two are just perfect for each other, a lovely looking couple. Though I do have to admit, dear, you are dressed a bit oddly for such a lovely girl..." Axel's mouth hung open like a fish gasping for air. He obviously couldn't find the right words to defend his masculine pride.

If Roxas hadn't been so relieved at that moment, or perhaps scared for his sake that his mother would suddenly come to her obviously not very stable senses, he probably would have laughed. Long, and hard. He couldn't wait to rub it in Axel's face later! He was wearing eyeliner and still managed to somehow be more masculine than his date. Oh, the irony.

Axel spoke through gritted teeth, his irritation hidden by a fake, sugary sweet tone. "O-Of course, ma'am...I can't get over what a big hunk of man Roxas here is...he just makes my little girl hormones go crazy..." He reached over and grabbed Roxas' hand a bit too harshly to be feminine. Luckily, Roxas mother didn't seem to notice.

Nor did she seem to notice Roxas face as it flushed from his normal, peaches and cream complexion to a deep red as the butterflies took home again in his stomach. Although the situation was a bit unorthodox, Roxas still couldn't keep his nerves down from Axel's rough, yet affectionate touch.

No. Stop thinking about that. You're supposed to be the man in this relationship. ...Literally.

"............................Right. Well. I guess we'll be going now..." Roxas interrupted the silence awkwardly, pulling Axel away by the hand. "Come on now sweetie...time to...go do couple stuff..." Axel's face was still twitching, his brain obviously not functioning in girl mode. Roxas mother just smiled, a look of pure pride and euphoria on her face as she watched her son be a loving boyfriend. "Bye sweetheart! I'll see you tonight!! We're having meatloaf! Oh, and don't forget to wear protection, we wouldn't want little strawberry blonds running all over the house!"

Axel choked. Roxas gagged.

"What...the FUCK...was that?!?" Axel snarled, gripping the wheel until his skinny knuckles turned white. Roxas just sat slumped in the cigarette burned seat of the beamer. "I...I don't know...quite frankly I'm just happy to be alive..." Roxas suddenly realized that his life was at stake for the stupid, foolish redhead.. It was all his fault for being so damn sexy! And those red hots...

Axel continued to rant, his eyes fiery. "Your mother thought I was a GIRL? With a VAGINA? What, in any way, about my appearance would cause her to think that I didn't have a y chromosome?" He babbled, screeching down the road like a lunatic. His shirt was unbuttoned, most likely to show off the fact that he had a lack of breasts. As If Roxas needed any other distraction at the moment. He suddenly realized that Axel had no reason to be angry...he had gotten let off easily. "Why are you so upset?? I'm the one that was seduced into a near life or death situation back there!" Roxas pouted, jutting out his lower lip. Anger was a fleeting emotion in his case, and his version of frustration was crossing his arms like a small child when they don't get the shiny new toy they wanted.

Axel suddenly smirked. "Seduced? Roxy, my dear, I did nothing. You were the one that started kissing me." Roxas' ears burned. How dare he try to make him out to be the gay one here! It was obvious that the whole date was a setup to make Roxas out to be a fool. Yes, that was it...a set up. What a bastard.

"I did not!" Roxas' whined. "You were the one who used the red hots!!" He was going to win this argument. Axel just chuckled, shaking his head as he rolled past a stop sign without even slowing. "Roxy, if we're going to use seduction as a tool in winning this battle, I could say that you also seduced me. I have never seen you in pants tighter than sweats or cargos, and you're wearing EYELINER for Christ's sake. I'm not the only one who prepared for this date." He grinned, obviously satisfied with his deduction.

Roxas scoffed. "The clothes were the idea of my brother. I didn't even want to come on this date in the first place, and now I'm stuck trying to explain to my mother why you're, Number one, extremely flat chested, Number two, dressed like an emo boy band, and Number three, three years older than me."

Axel turned off the engine as he parked in front of a set of apartments. It was more like a set of lofts, which surprised Roxas for one of two reasons: the fact that they made lofts in such a small town, and also the fact that he was not in the driveway of his own, safe, locked house where Axel couldn't seduce him unfairly anymore.

Freaking A. This day couldn't get any worse.

Axel turned to him, staring him intensely in the eyes. He held up his long fingers as he counted off. "One, it doesn't matter if your brother made you wear the clothes, it's your fault that you look so delicious in them. Two, who says I'm ever going to see your mother again, and three, I happen to dress quite stylishly. You're never going to win this battle Roxas, for reasons that will be very obvious later." He grinned a crooked smile and patted Roxas on the cheek, unbuckling his seat belt to saunter over and opened the door for him. He held out his hand to help Roxas from the seat.

"Shall we?"

Roxas grumbled, climbing out of the car himself. He was getting really tired of Axel's ambiguous statements. Things were so much easier when they were back in the Candy Shop, talking about Xemnas's odd habits of singing 80s music loudly from his office. If he heard one more Devo song he was going to shove pencils into his ears...

Axel led Roxas up four flights of stairs and to the end of a hallway, where he opened the door to one of the smaller looking Lofts in the building. His Loft was on the corner, the balcony area in front of the house separated from the rest of the rooms because it curved around the side of the building. It was pretty plain, and Roxas noticed a few plants sitting out on the makeshift porch with some daisies and roses and assorted flowers growing. "Flowers?" He asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Shut up, I like flowers, remember?" Roxas suddenly recalled the flowers Axel had brought his earlier that he so kindly squished. They were identical to the ones being grown outside.

Wow. That was surprisingly thoughtful.

Axel shoved the door to his room open with his hip, taking his shoes off as he went inside. Roxas repeated him, following him hesitantly inside the room. As Axel flipped the lights on, he noticed a few things immediately.

One, Axel had an entire wall blocked off by tarps, canvases set up on easels with half finished paintings on them.

And two, his Loft was completely spotless. Not a speck of dirt on the floor, walls, or furniture.

Roxas stood in shock as Axel closed the door behind him, grinning. "Not what you expected, I'm guessing?" Roxas shook his head, making his way to the wall of paint. "...You did these?"

Axel laughed, coming up to the side of him. "Yup, but they're obviously not done. I can't really get them right, there's always something wrong with them. Maybe now I can finally finish them."

Roxas diverted his gaze awkwardly from the paintings, which he noticed looked suspiciously like someone he recognized. "Hey, um...so....do you have some clothes I could borrow? Like, not gay looking clothes?" Axel frowned sarcastically. "Geeze, Rox, I don't know. My closet is full of platforms, pink miniskirts, and sequins. I'll have to go look." He left the room into one right next to the one they had currently been standing in.

Roxas flopped on the couch and decided to get a second look at the room while he had a chance. The whole place was pretty spacious. Axel had set it up well, leaving a spacious are in between the couch and painting area. He had a pretty large screen TV, with a very expensive looking sound stereo. How did the bastard get enough money for all this working at a freaking candy shop for minimum wage?

Axel re-entered, throwing him a t shirt and pair of pajama pants with ducks on them. This guy got weirder by the minute. After Roxas gave him a good stare-down for the pants, Axel shrugged. "Least gay thing in my closet."

Roxas sighed and stripped his shirt and pants off. It was at that moment that he realized Axel was sitting right next to him.

Damn perv was probably watching him change. He stole a glance, but Axel wasn't even on the couch anymore. He had made his way over the the paintings and were studying them closely, as if something was going to randomly jump out of them and yell, "SURPRISE! THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING TO PAINT!" Roxas scrambled to dress while Axel had his back turned, and then stood up to sneak to the CD player.

Let's see what Axel listens to, shall we?

He pressed play.

"HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME~"

As soon as the music started it stopped. Axel was standing by the stereo, his face flushed a strange purple color while his finger rested on the stop button. "Let's...not touch anything, shall we?" Roxas nodded while he bit his tongue painfully to hold back a laugh. Axel sighed, rubbed his eyes, and collapsed on the couch.

Roxas sat down carefully next to him, the leather squeaking as he placed his small butt strategically at the end of the couch where Axel couldn't reach it.

Shit. He was in the empty loft of Axel. Shit. He could get raped here and no one would know. Shit.

Roxas became very scared for his virginity. He clasped his hands together on his lap, his gaze fixed at a fly on the wall.

Watch the fly. Don't look at Axel. Watch the fly. Look, he's going towards that awkward leg lamp...I wonder what he's – ZAP. Dammit. Now he had to find something else to watch. He had just discovered a moth near the window on the opposite wall that was looking promising when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Eep.

Roxas squeezed his eyes shut. Maybe if he didn't look at him, he'd disappear. He sat like that for a few minutes before stealing a peek. Nope, still there. Damn, foiled again.

"Rox... did you really not want to come on this date?"

Roxas peered over at Axel full on, his silent treatment obviously not working. "Well...uh..." Axel closed his eyes, laughing. "...Of course you didn't. I don't know why I convinced myself that you would want to be here when it's so obvious that you don't care for me the way I care for you."

Roxas stared at Axel, the look on his normally cocky face defeated. Roxas suddenly became very upset. He had just blurted that out earlier...is that really what he meant? Did he not want to be here? Now that he was in Axel's loft and the fear of getting shot by his own mother was over, Roxas felt oddly at home. Axel's loft was nice, and the movie was fun...

Oh my God.

Nope. Not happening. Roxas was not gay. He liked video games, and didn't mind bugs or blood (most of the time), he hated girly chick flicks and couldn't stand Britney Spears.

Yet here he was. In the loft of another dude, wishing that he could just shove him onto the couch and make out with him like there was no tomorrow.

"..." Roxas opened his mouth to answer, but couldn't get the words out. Instead, he sent himself crashing into Axel's face, knocking the surprised redhead back and nearly onto the floor. "Rox, w-what...?" Axel tried to say between gasps of air as Roxas was shoving his face into his. "Shut up. No talking. Kissing, now."

Axel didn't complain. Hell, he complied. He growled roughly from the back of his throat, pushing Roxas's small frame until their positions had switched and Axel was left straddling him on the couched.

"You asked for it, blondie." He smirked, descending on Roxas to kiss him roughly. He pried the little guy's mouth open with his tongue. Shoving it inside while he made himself comfortable on Roxas' hips. Roxas couldn't think straight, his head spinning. His lungs screamed for air, but he didn't care much at the moment. All he could think about was the way Axel's lips fit perfectly against his, and wishing that he had put chapstick on earlier.

He groaned as Axel's hips moved perfectly against his and eventually realized that being completely dominated, as girly as it made him feel, was wonderful. He just had to sit back and let Axel do the work.

And work he did. Axel made sure that Roxas was unable to move by holding him down strongly with his hips. He kissed him fiercely until he decided that clothes were no longer needed. He lifted himself up and unbuttoned his shirt fully, ripping it off and letting it flutter to the ground.

Roxas watched the shirt, looked up, and saw a shirtless Axel grinning like mad above him, but Roxas clamped his eyes shut, gasping.

"Axel...stop." Axel's face of disappointment was one to rival Roxas's mom if she ever found out Axel was actually very much a male. He whined, his sexual drive obviously cut off very cruelly. "B-But why??"

"Axel, I just realized something." Axel was terrified of the answer, but he asked the question anyway, ready to get back to his previous activity. "What? What is it?"

"My mom will most likely invite you over for dinner. Meaning, you're going to have to wear a dress."