A/N: This is Part Two of Totally Emotional. The pairings are the same and its still Heero's PoV. 1+4/4+1.
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and all the name ensues do not belong to me, just the plot and the slashy stuff. Ohhh yeah.
I'm not sure how long I was gone from the room- or exactly where I wandered around- when Trowa rounded the corner and sighed in relief.
"Heero," he said his voice hoarse. "We need your help- Duo is not taking it very well."
I felt the irony in that. I probably looked like nothing had happened- like the person I was in love with wasn't dead.
I didn't realize I had nodded until Trowa turned and I made to follow him.
"Where is he?" I asked quietly.
Trowa shot me a look. I guess I didn't sound as good as he thought I was.
That made sense- Duo wasn't a true believer but his childhood had given him this unexplainable urge to run to the nearest place of worship when things got bad.
I wasn't sure I had the strength for this as we neared the chapel doors. I could barely deal with my own emotions on the matter- Duo's would be a mess.
Trowa seemed to know what I was thinking as he grabbed my elbow and pulled be back first.
"Can you do this, Yuy?" He asked sharply. He seemed a bit angry at me. I could hardly care about his issues at the moment- it felt like I was made of glass and my emotions were cement jet balls bouncing around inside of me.
"I- I don't know."
Green eyes widened. "You loved him."
I growled at the past tense. Quatre had been gone for mere minutes….mere hours and Trowa could already speak about him as if it had been years.
As if years could be enough to ease the pain…….
"Yes, Trowa." I snarled. "I love him. Now fuck off. Duo needs us."
I slammed open the doors to the chapel, making Wufei and Duo jump in surprise. Candles flickered all around the shadowed room as I made my way to the first pew.
Duo tackled my chest and started crying again.
"I'm so sorry, Heero! It's all my fault."
I highly doubted that this whole mess could be blamed on solely Duo and I told him so, feeling that crushing weight on my chest again at my braided friend's tears. I was very bad at soothing others fears and insecurities. This, this was Quatre's calling but…. God, Quatre was gone……
Then Duo was babbling again.
"We were going to have lunch together after his meeting with Relena. How could I have forgotten he would be there?! I set it up!"
Wufei sighed. "We all forgot, Duo…."
It hurt to admit even though it was the truth. I'd forgotten my Quatre and now that he was gone I couldn't seem to get him out of my head…..
Duo's arms tightened around me as Trowa let out a shaky breath and Wufei put a hand on my shoulder. I hadn't meant to say that out loud.
"I used to laugh at the two of you dancing around each other." Duo sniffled. "Quat-Quatre would sulk over never getting your attention and you would mope about never being good enough for him."
I couldn't- I couldn't seem to breathe after that. It all seemed so stupid now- not telling him how I felt. I had always thought those stupid mating rituals about being coy and subtle were stupid and inefficient- I was a fan of being direct and to the point.
And now it was too late.
I guess that thought hadn't really hit me until that very moment. There was no more 'next time' or 'waiting for the right moment' or something just as foolish. I would never get the chance to tell him how I felt, what I'd discovered those few weeks I spent with him in Sanq while we guarded Relena.
I couldn't just flick on the vid and see him giving a speech or a newscast taking humorously drastic guesses at his love life.
I could watch those big blue-green eyes get that strange twinkle when we talked or just were with each other. I couldn't feel that shiver or desire when I caught a whiff of his cologne or felt his skin.
I couldn't even angst over not having the courage to tell him how I felt.
I couldn't do anything anymore.
I jerked away from the guys and stood, swaying. I had to leave- get away from everyone else and all their emotions and find my balance again- or I would self-destruct.
"I need to go."
Duo made a noise as I dodged Trowa's hands and Wufei shouted in confusion. They had this unique need for comfort when things went bad- I needed Quatre and he wouldn't ever be there again.
Now I just needed distance and myself.
God only knows why I ended up walking back towards Sally's exam room.
The lights were off- Relena had probably been moved to a secure room or taken home- so I just stood there, looking through the bullet proof glass at nothing.
It was….frighteningly truthful that I had to look through the reflection of myself to see the darkness inside me. No light to save me, no golden blond to balance my dark brown.
It just wasn't right.
How was I supposed to act on my emotions when my emotions had ceased to exist with Quatre? I've become a hypocrite now- taken a man's honest advice for granted even with the fair warning they gave. Odin should have left his last message to someone else- someone who could actually feel something.
Someone stronger than me, because my strength had just died.
My throat was tight and achy as I stood there and simply starred at the glass. God, what I wouldn't give just to see his face again…
Almost as soon as that thought had crossed my mind, a blond figure appeared in the reflective surface of the glass. I knew that face, that hair better than my own.
My own mind had started to hallucinate to cope with the startling reality of life without my Quatre.
I closed my eyes against the noise. I could even hear him…..
I frowned. For some reason, I highly doubted my mind would make me remember Quatre's annoyed tone out of all of them.
A foot stomping angrily against the tiles was followed by that annoyed voice speaking in sudden clarity.
"Heero! Stop ignoring me and tell me if everyone's alright!?"
I jerked to attention and stared at the reflection in the window. Quatre wasn't exactly Quatre- he had a gash on his forehead and a bruise on his cheek. His hair had clay and cement dust in it. His usually impeccable dress shirt was torn and bloody in places, covered in more dirt than the rest of him.
I turned my head to see the ghostly reflection come to life behind me. I watched as blond eyebrows furrowed.
I heard his tone changed to an almost fearful one and his feet thump gently against the floor.
There had been a good five yards between us before I must have teleported to his side. My arms wrapped around the body before I realized it felt like my Quatre. I could smell the dust and smoke and blood on his clothing.
You can't hallucinate those types of things so vibrantly.
A small, logical part of my mind told me he was injured and needed medical attention but the rest of me just wanted to make sure this was real.
I didn't even realize I was going to kiss him until I did it.
After all, I couldn't hope to make up how the experience of kissing someone felt if I'd never done it before. It was a logical choice of action, all things considered.
I picked up on the faint coppery taste of blood but that was quickly pushed away by the pure taste of Quatre. It was like coffee and butter caramel and musk. I felt a need to taste that everyday bloom in my heart as my lips began to tingle and grow warm.
It paled in comparison to the feeling of Quatre kissing me back.
It was perfect. It was electric. It was hot and messy but most of all it was real.
Quatre was alive.
I pulled back just enough to let us breath when my chest started to burn for air. Quatre panted, his hot breath washing over my face. He seemed thoroughly dazed and confused and kissed.
I watched his sea-green eyes blinked slowly.
I had to touch him again. Had to feel that silky skin against mine.
I ended up with my cheek next to his.
"I love you."
I felt him start at my whispered confession but I couldn't let him go. Not for the whole Earth Sphere- even if he rejected me I would never let him go again.
I know that sounded…unstable, even in my own mind, but the urge didn't lessen as I felt Quatre melt against me and hug back just as tight.
"I love you too."
I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my lips, even as I tilted my love's chin to kiss him deeply.
I had a second chance.
A/N: The last Part will be posted as soon as I fix a plot hole I just found. Don't you hate those?