Disclaimer: I do not own The Twilight Saga. I am just a poor College Student. (Yeah I'm as shocked as you are!)
The Volturi Application
"A job interview?" Rosalie asked me as we went down to the Interview Room. This was not on the guided tour of the Volturi Castle. (Again, read Aro Volturi)
"Yes, Ar… they just want to see if you are well equipped to join, should you choose to in the future."
"But I…" she started to say.
"Incase you and Emmett should not work out and you decide to kill him." I interrupted.
She amazingly didn't have a rebuttal to my comment about her and Emmett breaking it off. I have not seen them breaking up at any time… but maybe she thought that I saw it in the future.
"I love your outfit." I said looking at her a moment.
"I've been wearing this all day." She said annoyed.
"No, I mean your next out fit. You'll see what I mean." I giggled.
We had reached the room and I hugged her.
"Good luck." I said pushing her through the door and then I ran to the room next door which had a two-way mirror. This was going to be funny.
"Ah, welcome Mrs. McCarty." Aro said as I entered the room.
"Good Evening, Aro." I said politely. I was not going to comment on how I only used Hale.
"I assume you Alice has briefed you?" He asked.
"She did tell me that this was an interview." I said looking at him skeptically. Something was up and I knew I was going to have to get out of here.
"Ah, then you don't know that you will be putting on a concert." He said with a smile. "Pity, then I guess I shall tell you and allow you get ready."
"A .. A Concert?" I looked at him as if he sprouted six more heads. "Are you serious?" There was no way in hell that I was going to put on a concert. Not for wack job and not for Italy! NO! NO! NO!!! "Sure. Just tell me what I need to do and sing."
"Put this on and you just need to know every single song on this cd." He said handing me some sparkly garments and a cd with not cover art or title. "I shall return to take you to the concert venue."
Aro stepped out of the room and I was waiting for him.
"THAT was not what we rehearsed!" I practically whisper screamed.
"Don't worry. I have everything under control."
"This coming from the whack job of the whole Volturi." I said as he started to walk away from me. He turned and smiled an evil smile.
"Then, Lu Lu Lovehangle, here is your wig." He tossed me a short blue wig and then walked away.
"Your making her be Hannah Montana?" I called after him. "She's going to kill you!"
Two Hours Later
"Where in the hell are we going?" Rosalie asked as we piled into the Volturimobile.
"We need to save the world!" Aro said as he got behind the wheel.
"Yeah, we need to save the world!" I agreed.
"Does Aro even have a drivers license?" Rose asked me.
"No." Aro and I answered at the same time.
"To get to our destination we first have to get past the door!" Aro said as we looked at the garage door.
"The Door?" Rose asked.
"The Door!!!" Aro exclaimed.
"What does the door have to with anything you just have to press the garage door opener." Neither of us answered. "Let me guess… you broke it." She was getting slightly irritated.
"The door is everything." Aro said psychotically.
"All that once was and All that will be!" I chimed in.
"The door controls time and space."
"Love and death."
"The door can see into your mind."
"The door can see into your soul!" I finished.
"Really, the d… door can do all that?" Rose said in awe.
"Ha, no." Aro said and opened the garage door.
We took off from the garage at a terrifying speed as we raced towards our destination.
"And why do I have to be dressed by Hannah Montana?"
"We're almost there Rosie." I said looking at her. "It's right at the end of this…"
"OH MY GOD! IT'S A PEDESTRIAN!" Aro screamed as he almost hit a person.
"No!! A pedestrian." I wailed with him.
"Just a few minutes and we're…" Aro continued.
"OH MY GOD! IT'S A Werewolf!" I yelled.
"No! Werewolf!" Aro said.
"Werewolf again!" I was trying not to laugh. Rosalie was getting pissed. I could hear her seething in the back seat.
"And it's gonna kill us!" Aro continued.
"It's right up ahead now!" I said looking at her. She was irritated. She had ripped some of the car seat apart. "You can see the… OH MY GOD ITS…"
"Stop it!" She screamed. "Stop it!!! I don't care about each and every roadside thing you see!"
"Rosie! We're here!" Aro yelled jumping out of the car and running into the garage.
"This looks exactly like the Volturi Castle!" She screamed.
"Shhh! You'll wake the Umu!" I said in a hushed voice and lead her into the garage and into the castle.
"We gotta be sneaky!" Aro said.
"Yeah sneaky." I agreed. We ran up the walls and then back down again.
"Yeah, theres no way I can do that with out falling." She said irritated.
"OH NO!" I said grabbing on to her and looking around all deranged like. "Listen! The Umu has awoken."
"RUN!" Aro said running down the corridor.
"Ahhhh!" I followed suit.
"What are you.. I don't hear anything." She said following after us slowly.
"Hurry!" I said grabbing her arm.
"Look out for the Yum Yums, They're everywhere!"
"What am I missing here? Hey! Let go!" She screamed. "Alice!"
"Caius coming in from above!!!" Aro laughed maniacally.
"Rosie! WATCH OUT FOR THE BLEH BLEH BLEH!!!" I yelled.
"Can I go back to my room yet?" Rose asked.
We came to a indoor moat and Aro and I boarded the duck shaped boat.
"Rosie! Get on the duck! The Bleh Bleh Bleh are right behind you!" Aro turned to face her.
"I think I'll take my chances with the Umpoos and the Wa Wa's." She said standing there with her arms crossed.
"OH! NO! A CAIUS HAS ROSIE!" Aro screamed in horror.
"Quickly get on the duck." I pulled her onto the boat and we started to row.
"Ring Ring." Aro said.
"YOU HAVE A FUCKING BAD CONNECTION!!!" Rosalie screamed so load that her voice vibrated the entire tunnel we were in and caused bits of rock to fall from the ceiling.
We waited a few moments.
"Ring Ring." Aro said again.
We had then reached the stage that was made for Rose to perform as Hannah Montana. She stepped off the boat, went to the microphone and glared at the Volturi that were assembled to watch her.
"This is 'Everybody Makes Mistakes'" She gritted through her teeth.
"Who's next?" Aro asked me as we left to find a place to sit in the crowd.
"How about Jasper?" I asked.
"Hmmmm I agree." Aro said.
Then we sat back and watched the Death By Hannah Concert.
A/N: I'm sorry for the extremely long wait… but I had to study for my GED! Which I did get… back in June! But I also have a lot of other things going on too! But I will update this before the end of the weekend… maybe… (evil cackle)
Also sorry for the whole Charlie the Unicorn thing in this… but it fit…