Auri's Notes:

Okay. This... is...

-deep breath-

...Mpreg.

-is shot and stabbed by pissy fangirls-

I'M SORRY, OKAY? I COULDN'T RESIST. DEI WOULD BE CUTE PREGNANT. STFU.

Flames will be doused, if you don't like it-

DON'T.

READ.

IT.

Oshit. I made Itachi kind of OC. Sorry. TT

Contains yaoi in later chapters. SasoDei.

Further explanation of Dei's pregnancy will be revealed in later chapters as well.

Enjoy.

Dei/Sasori/Itachi (c) Kishimoto

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"Deidara?"

Sasori rapped sharply on the bathroom door. There was no reply, or none that Sasori could hear. With a frustrated sigh, he pounded the door again and called once more for his partnet.

"DEIDARA. Are you done in there?"

A weak voice strained from inside. "N-no..."

"What the hell are you doing in there that's taking you so long?" Sasori knocked again, anger growing in his voice. "Dammit, Deidara, I'm coming in there." He heard no protest from the other as he shouldered his way into the room.

Sasori's blonde partner was slumped over near the toilet, knees up to his chest. Even though they weren't in close contact, Sasori could tell that Deidara was trembling, and his face was coated in sweat and had dulled to the color of wax paper.

"Are you sick again?" Sasori asked, almost disbeleiving. This had been the third time in a week that the bomber had taken ill.

Deidara looked up at him from his spot on the floor with a tear and sweat streaked face. "Mhm." Was the only reply. Deidara slowly allowed his knees to relax, and his shaking hands circled his stomach.

"...Damn.." Was all Sasori could manage. Deidara suddenly paled another shade and lurched forward with a retch. Sasori sighed, crossed the room, crouched down behind the blonde, and pulled his hair back away from his face.

"It... it feels really bad, danna," Deidara gasped, shoulders heaving. "Un... I don't... I don't even know..." He closed his eyes, swiping his mouth with the sleeve of his cloak.

Sasori did not yet release his hair, for fear another wave would take the young ex-terrorist. "I know," He said quietly, putting a hand on Deidara's back. Of course, he /didn't/ know, but it was the only thing he could think of saying at this point.

"What's going on?"

Sasori glanced up to see a familiar, black-haired man in the doorway, looking perplexed. Sasori shrugged at Itachi and said simply, "Dei's sick again."

"Isn't that like the fifth time this week?"

Deidara retched again, and Sasori tightened his grip on the blonde's hair. "Third." He said, glancing up at Itachi and sighing. "I think someone... should probably take a look at him..."

Deidara glanced up, wiping his mouth. "A doctor? What, un?" His baby-blue eyes widened slightly, "It's just the flu or something! Honestly!"

Sasori sighed. Honestly, that's what he thought it was, but he knew Deidara didn't want to see a doctor in the first place. Oh well. It was best to let him avoid what he was dreading for now, and plus, his condition didn't seem critical.

"Um... Sasori-danna," Deidara glanced around with wide, teary eyes. "Uh... can...you.. uh... get me water or something...? I'm.. afraid to get up, un.." He asked tentatively.

Sasori nodded, and glanced over at Itachi, who was leaning against the doorframe with a blank look on his face. "Get me a glass, would you?" Sasori asked, exasperated. Itachi looked from Deidara (who had settled against the wall, shaking) to Sasori, who was giving him a dangerous look.

"Fine." Itachi said shortly, and disappeared from view.

Sasori glanced around at Deidara. The boy's face was drenched in cold sweat, his eyes closed as tight as his mouth. A pained expression lay on his face, and Sasori could tell that his teeth were clenched.

Itachi returned a few minutes later and plunked a glass of water down onto the bathroom counter. "You're welcome." He said shortly, quickly departing before he was roped into more menile tasks.

Sasori reached for the water. Hm. It even /looked/ like tapwater. He handed it to Deidara, who took a tentative sip and muttered a croaky, "Thank you, un." After taking a swallow of the water, he learned forward and spat it out into the toilet, reaching up to flush it afterwards.

"That's such a bad taste, un." Deidara muttered, leaning back against the wall and taking another small sip. "Even water doesn't get it out..."

Sasori couldn't remember the last time he'd been sick. It was probably sometime when he was very young, though. Vaguely, he could recall the sick, acidic taste that seemed to remain in your mouth for hours afterwards. "I know," He said quietly, putting a hand on Deidara's back again. "Just brush your teeth or something."

Deidara sighed, and leaned into the hand. "I don't think I can stomach putting /anything/ in my mouth right now, un." He muttered, glancing at the puppet. He reached up to wipe his forehead on his sleeve with a shaky exhale.

The redhead chuckled at this. "Then you're screwed." He said, moving his hand up and down gently. He was quiet for a minute, before speaking again. "Feeling any better?"

The bomber nodded shakily. "Yeah... a bit, un." He said, taking another sip of water.

"Have you been overeating?" Sasori asked suddenly, looking around at the other. Deidara shook his head, looking rather puzzled.

"Actually," Deidara said, "I haven't been eating much at all this week. Just enough to keep me walking, un." He sighed dramatically, and hung his head. "Okay... I think I'm okay, now..." He finished off the water and stood up, with Sasori following.

"So... what are you going to do now?" Sasori asked, edging towards the door. Deidara shrugged and ducked into the hallway, one arm still coiled around his misection.

"Dunno. Might go take a nap, un."

"You know, Leader-sama's going to get angry if all you do is puke, eat, and sleep." Sasori put his hands into his pockets, looking rather amused. Deidara shot him a look and he grinned. "Well, he is!"

Deidara shrugged lamely, and suddenly stopped. "I'm hungry, un."

Sasori whirled around, jaw dropping. "How are you hungry?! You just threw up everything you've eaten in the past day and a half, how can you POSSIBLY be hungry?"

Deidara shrugged for the third time. "I don't know!" He cried, "I honestly don't know but I'm starving now, un!" He kept walking, putting his hands into his pockets with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"That's...weird..." Sasori said blankly, shaking his head. "Well, what are you hungry for?"

The blonde frowned. "I don't know, actually..." He paused to open the door to the kitchen, Sasori still following. "I think... maybe... no, un..." He mumbled to himself, beginning to rifle through the refridgerator.

Sasori leaned against the counter and watched the bomb technician with a small smile. Deidara pulled out an unlabeled tupperware container and peeked into a corner. He recoiled with a hiss, and threw the container back into the fridge.

"What?" Sasori asked, leaning forward slightly. Deidara looked back at him with a face the color of tissue paper.

"I don't know, but I think it's Zetsu's lunch." Deidara said shakily, turning back to the fridge and rummaging in near the back with a sigh.

Sasori could only imagine the horrors of Zetsu's lunch. It was probably a disembodied arm or something. Just as his curiousity was starting to get to him and he was about to cross the room to look, Deidara backed away from the fridge and shut it with something in his mouth.

Sasori frowned for a second before realizing it was a pickle. "I didn't know you liked those." He folded his arms. Deidara shrugged and crunched down on the green cylinder.

"I didn't know I did either, un." Deidara chewed thoughtfully for a moment. "But it just sounded good."

Sasori stared at the bomber for a minute before shaking his head disbelevingly. "You confuse me," He said, watching Deidara take another bite. The blonde shrugged, and swallowed.

"It's good though, un."