I MADE SASORI /SO/ OOC. xP I'm sorryyyyy.
Sasori clenched his eyes shut and pressed his fists over his ears, trying to block out the noise. Konan sat beside him, whimpering quietly into her sleeve. The air was torn with Deidara's pained, animal-like howls, accompanied with Kakuzu and Pein's frustrated yells.
The rest of the Akatsuki were crowded in an adjoining room. Hidan was tapping his scythe on the ground slowly, over and over again, Zetsu was brooding in a corner with his arms folded, Tobi was rocking back and forth muttering about,"Poor sempai!", and Itachi and Kisame were both staring stonily at the floor, Itachi's hands pressed over his ears.
"I can't take this much longer." Sasori said dully under his breath to Konan, who let out a whine as one of Deidara's yells reached a crescendo.
Sasori could hear Pein's voice roar, "HOLD HIM STILL!" and didn't catch Kakuzu's reply.
"I can't take that much longer!" Kisame suddenly snapped, pointing at Hidan. "Knock it the fuck off!"
Hidan glared at the shark-man for a minute before holding the scythe over one shoulder without a word.
"SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!" Pein's voice again.
Sasori's heart hammered, swallowing his voice which so desperately wanted to scream out in frustration and angst.
"I can't imagine." Itachi muttered dully. "Must be like... like..."
"Like having your stomach torn out and you having to watch?" One half of Zetsu offered, looking up suddenly with a tilted head.
Itachi nodded. "Yeah..."
Sasori winced as he heard Pein yell above one of Deidara's frantic screams, "AHHH, SO CLOSE, SO /FUCKING/ CLOSE!" Sasori's head whipped around to stare at the door, eyes widening.
"Konan... stop whimpering..." Sasori muttered, "He'll be fine..." He hoped... no, he prayed... to whatever diety was there (except Jashin) that Deidara would be okay. That the kid would be okay.
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE, KNOCK HIM OUT WITH SOMETHING!" Kakuzu roared suddenly.
"WE DON'T NEED TO, DAMMIT! HOLD HIM, WE'RE ALMOST..." The rest of Pein's words were drowned by a wrenching yell from Deidara.
"DAMMIT, I CAN'T STAND THIS ANYMORE!" Sasori suddenly snarled, throwing up his arms in frustration. "THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS! I CAN'T TAKE IT!"
Suddenly, everything was quiet except for one or two vague moans from the door and the sound of a voice recognzied as Kakuzu's saying, "About damn time... here, give it to me, you stitch him up..." Sasori looked around expectantly.
Everything was quiet for a few minutes, although Deidara let out a few more moans and wails that Sasori did not know the reason for. After a while, the clattering of footsteps sounded from within and the door banged open, and Pein stuck his head out, panting and spattered in blood, face contorted in exhaustion.
"It's... a girl..."
Sasori's heard raced, and he felt a grin spread across his face. Konan threw her arms around Sasori again and he simply shook his head, feeling rather lightheaded.
"What did sempai name it?" Tobi cried, bouncing up and down.
"I don't know yet," Pein sighed, leaning against the doorframe. "He's pretty out of it right now, just give him time..." The Akatsuki Leader hung his head, shoulders heaving.
Sasori felt oddly numb. So. It was finally over... "Can I see him?" He asked, looking up at Pein.
Pein shook his head. "Give him a minute, Sasori." He said sternly. "Just let him rest up, will you? The kid just gave birth for god's sake."
Hidan smirked. "So, how was the delivery, Leader-sama?" He asked, to a glare from Pein.
"How do you /think/ it went?" Pein exhaled loudly. "Dear god, have you ever sliced open someone's stomach with them awake and only one person to hold them down?"
A grin broke across Zetsu's faces and he looked at Itachi expectantly, who rolled his eyes and smirked.
"Actually, yes, yes I have..." Hidan mumbled, looking away.
"So where's the kid?" Kisame asked, folding his arms and leaning back slightly.
"In there with Kakuzu..."
"Does she have what you wanted?" Sasori asked, a rather icy tone in his voice.
"As a matter of fact," Pein said smoothly, "She does. She has three extra mouths, blue eyes, and..." His eyes lingered on Sasori for a minute. "...red hair..."
Sasori's eyes widened. "Oh my god," He breathed. "It's /me/..."
"Wait, WHAT? You?!" Konan frowned, tilting her head.
"Deidara... he was... he was henged into a female version of... me... when... when that guy... and... when I found him, he was in the middle of the henge, between me and himself... it... the genes.. must have mixed...or... something..." His head pounded nastily and he closed his eyes. "It was a joke at first...but..."
"So... that kid is half you and half Deidara, appearance-wise?" Itachi raised an eyebrow, staring at Sasori intently.
"Appearance-wise." Sasori affirmed. "But that... should be it..." He opened his eyes suddenly as a thin wailing rose from the room.
"Shit." Pein muttered, "Look, you can go, the lot of you...Come back later if you want to see him, Sasori." He ducked back into the room without another word and shut the door.
Sasori shook his head, dumbfounded. "I don't beleive it," He muttered, "I honestly don't..."
Sasori struggled against Konan with a desperate groan, clawing at the door in vain. "No, dammit! I want to see him NOW!"
"What if he's sleeping? KNOCK, SASORI! You can't just go barging in, that's rude!" Konan hissed, holding Sasori by the waist and the collar of his cloak.
Sasori stopped squirming, glared at her, and then relaxed with a defeated sigh. "Fine." He muttered, taking a deep breath. "...fine." Lifting his knuckles, he knocked tentatively on the door.
"...what?" Came a weary voice.
"Dei-kun... it's me."
"Oh... c'mon in, then, un..."
Sasori opened the door. Deidara was leaning against his pillows, on his side, his eyes alight. He was shirtless, thick, rust-stained bandages wound around his stomach down to his pants. His hair was free of the usual headband, and was hanging behind him in a loose ponytail. The tired-looking blonde reached out his hand as Sasori approached.
"Hey..." Sasori said nervously, taking the offered hand in his and sitting down gingerly on the edge of the bed. "How are you?"
"...I'm... in pain, danna..." Deidara said weakly, smiling up at the Sasori. "But I'm okay..."
"I love you."
"I love you too, Sasori-kun..." Deidara squeezed his hand once, closing his eyes. "...you should have seen her..."
"Is she beautiful?" Sasori asked, feeling the corners of his mouth twitch.
"Yes." Deidara grinned and opened his eyes. "She really is... Kakuzu has her still... routine checkup I guess, un..."
"So... what's her name?"
Deidara sat up, and crawled forward on the bed to loop his arms around Sasori's neck. "I... named her Ayatsuri, un," He whispered, his voice breaking. "Danna..."
Ayatsuri... Sasori gingerly wrapped his arms around the blonde's shoulders. "Deidara... it's a beautiful name."
Deidara sniffed, and pulled away, holding Sasori at shoulder's length. "Sasori...thank you..."
"For what?" Sasori asked, frowning slightly.
"Everything... for... hanging in there with me, un... for letting me drive you crazy..." He chuckled slightly, and Sasori smiled. "For... being with me... for letting me hang on you... for making me happy... for... being there for me when no one else was, un... for loving me..." Sasori closed his eyes, and nuzzled into Deidara's shoulder, feeling his throat burn. He hated not being able to cry, it hurt so much more that way.
"Deidara," Sasori rasped. "You're welcome."
Deidara chuckled, and ran a hand through Sasori's hair. "Danna... I was thinking..."
"Will she call me 'dad'?"
"How about you be the dad and I'll be the danna?" Sasori asked, lifting his head with a small smile. Deidara grinned as well, and nodded.
"Okay then... so... she gets no mom?"
"No," Sasori smirked. "She gets Konan-chan."