All characters copyrighted to Midway and used without permission for non-profit amusement reasons. Comments, compliments, and constructive criticism are appreciated. Also, to get full enjoyment out of this, please imagine the characters drawn in the style of the VG Cats webcomic, with Khameleon as Aeris and Sub-Zero as Leo.
Also WARNING: Contains spoilers for a couple endings in Mortal Kombat Armageddon.
Character information for Khameleon and Sub-Zero can be found on Wikipedia.
Midway Main Office…+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Khameleon sat nervously in the waiting room, idly playing with one of her war fans. She wished she could have worn something better than her gray MK ninja outfit, but when Sub-Zero had called her, he had insisted that she come in costume.
After an hour, Sub-Zero came out in his battle-armored costume, a smile on his face evident even with his mask and helmet on. "Okay, it's settled. It took us a while, and in the end we had to threaten to let your fans know where they lived, but we finally convinced Boon and the others to let you in."
Khameleon blinked. "In what?"
Sub-Zero chuckled. "In Mortal Kombat Armageddon!"
Khameleon grinned. "You're kidding! I thought it was too late to get in!"
Sub-Zero shook his head. "They hadn't finalized the Nintendo Wii version yet. Reptile was able to 'convince' them to add you to it."
Khameleon blushed. "That sweetie. So I'm here to get my new look and moveset?"
Sub-Zero nodded. "Come with me, I'll show you to the changing room."Changing Room…
Sub-Zero whistled the MK movie theme to himself as he waited for Khameleon to change into her new look. After a few minutes, she came out.
"Well? What do you think?" Khameleon said.
"I personally like it," Sub-Zero said, "But the important thing is: Do you?"
Khameleon looked herself over in the mirror. "I was hoping for a little more than a ninja outfit, but this actually works. The color-changing is a nice touch, and I like the fact that I'm transparent. Helps me stand out a little from the other ninja-girls. So to speak."
"So to speak," Sub-Zero laughed.
Khameleon giggled. "Heh. Anyway, it's a nice, original touch."
Sub-Zero blinked, and looked nervous. "Um…"
Khameleon sighed. "What?"
"Yeah, your new look? It's essentially a female version of Chameleon's."
"Oh for…" Khameleon facepalmed, and then shrugged, "Fine. I assume I'm getting a mish-mash moveset like his?"
Sub-Zero brightened. "Yeah, but it's a pretty good one. Mileena's Teleport Kick, Kitana's Square Wave Punch, Jade's teleport, and Tanya's fireball."
Khameleon blinked. "The sellout skank's being considered a ninja now?"
Sub-Zero shrugged. Khameleon frowned, and sighed. "Meh, whatever," she said, "I still like the moveset. Anything else I should know? I was kinda left out of the loop on Armageddon's new features and stuff."
Sub-Zero pulled a list out of his pants pocket and looked it over. "Let's see. Your fighting style is Eagle Claw… No alternate costume, but don't get too mad, Mokap, Onaga, that new guy Daegon and a couple others didn't get one either… Oh, and your weapon is a Falchion sword," he said, handing her a curved, slender sword.
Khameleon swung it experimentally. "Nice," she said, "Fatalities?"
Sub-Zero sighed. "Yeah, we all got shafted on that one. None of us have any original fatalities. Not even some remixed classics. We've got some cheesy Kreate-A-Fatality system. We're supposed to be able to 're-create the classic fatalities' or something like that."
Khameleon frowned. "How bad are we talking about here?"
"Remember the Brutalities?"
"I know… Now everyone can do my spine rip fatality, which sucks… Anyway, your storyline's pretty much the same as before. You want Reptile back still, and actually did for a while until Shao Kahn stole him back."
"Bastard," Khameleon muttered. Sub-Zero smirked.
"Don't worry. You get revenge in your ending: Apparently after getting Blaze's power, you make Kahn scream like a bitch before turning him into a reptile like you and making him your slave. Same with all the other villains," he said.
"Excellent," Khameleon said, grinning viciously.
"Granted, you also lose control and accidentally change everyone else…" Sub-Zero said.
"Even more excellent. I always wanted a harem," Khameleon said, not losing her evil grin.
"Um… Yeah…" Sub-Zero said, looking at Khameleon warily, "Anyway, like everyone else, you hear about Blaze being the key to some big power and go to kill him."
"How's Blaze taking being a boss, by the way?" Khameleon asked, "That's a pretty big responsibility."
"Poor guy," Sub-Zero said, "He's a nervous wreck."
Blaze lay curled up in a fetal position, sucking his thumb and crying.
"Everyone wants to kill me…" he wailed.
Khameleon frowned, then shrugged. "Anyway, so long as I'm in, that's fine. I'm a little curious, though. Why was I left out of the PS2 and Xbox360 versions?"
"Something about time constraints, from what I heard," Sub-Zero said.
Just then, the door slammed open. Chameleon, looking arrogant and egotistical, sauntered in, pulling a skinless, bleeding, and obviously in a great deal of pain man behind him, one of the skinless-man's eyeballs dangling loose.
"I'll you why you get left out, BEYOTCH," Chameleon said, striking an arrogant (and, to Sub-Zero and Khameleon's eyes, utterly retarded) pose, "You got left out 'cause they wanted to spend extra time makin' me and my main man Meat here teh utter HOTNESS for our billions (dramatic pause) AND BILLIONS of fans. M'I right, Meat?"
"MY LIFE IN A NEVER-ENDING ORCHESTRA OF AGONY!!" Meat shrieked, his loose eyeball bouncing around.
"Right on," Chameleon said, ignoring his companion's pain.
Khameleon's eye twitched. "I got left out… For THOSE TWO IDIOTS?!" she snarled, her outfit turning blood red for a moment.
Sub-Zero sighed. "Basically. From what I heard, Boon and company didn't originally plan to add them. They were surprised by the number of requests for them and so they added them, but by the time they were finished, they were near their deadline and didn't have time to add you. Fans realized the mistake almost immediately and began asking for you in the Wii version. And that's both your actual fans and the ones who just wanted a complete cast as originally promised."
That calmed Khameleon down a little. "Heh… It's nice to have fans…" she said.
Then Chameleon ruined the moment. "Yeah, you got fans, a'right. Six of 'em. All fatasses who fap to furries and don't have real girlfriends. Man, you a worthless character. You can't even spell you name right!"
Khameleon made a reptilian snarling noise, and looked ready to kill. Sub-Zero just smirked, and said, "Tell her why you don't have a move from my brother."
Chameleon froze, and giggled nervously. "Um… Yeah… I did have the teleport grab, but Noob said he'd do bad things to my balls involving pliers, barbed wire, and that hammer-thing of his…" he said, whimpering, "I need my balls, man…"
Khameleon grinned. "Your brother is awesome," she said to Sub-Zero.
"Taught me everything I know," Sub-Zero said, smirking.
"THEY TOOK MY MANHOOD WHEN THEY TOOK MY SKIN!! I NOW JUST BLEED PURE AGONY INSTEAD OF GETTING AROUSED!!" Meat added.
Sub-Zero looked ill. "Yeah, I didn't need that image…"
Chameleon was apparently too dumb to know when to quit. "That still don't change a thing, BEYOTCH!! YOU still just a skank-ass rip-off of me. Fo' shizzle."
Sub-Zero snorted derisively, "That reminds me… Jax would like to have a fist-to-face talk to you about your use of jive-speak… And you're one to talk… Your entire plot has you basically hiding throughout every Mortal Kombat tournament and sneaking past everyone like a coward in your ending."
Khameleon was visibly trying to control her temper. "Listen you miserable…"
Chameleon started singing, dancing around Meat and generally making an ass of himself. "Skank-ass rip-off skank-ass rip-off skank-ass rip-off skank-ass rip-off…"
Sub-Zero, wisely, stepped out of the line of fire.
Khameleon, her costume shifting to blood red, roared. She ripped off her face, revealing a velociraptor head, and lunged at Chameleon and Meat, tackling them both and proceeding to messily devour them.
"OH DEAR GOD!!!" Chameleon wailed, "OH DEAR GOD SHE'S RIPPING ME APART!!!! NO PLEASE DON'T EAT THAT I NEED THAT TO LIVE!!! AAGGHHH!!!! NOOO, PLEASE, DON'T HURT ME, I'M TOO PRETTY TO DIE!!! YAAGGHH!!!!! MOMMY MOMMY MAKE IT STOP!!!"
Sub-Zero discreetly came back in, watching Khameleon slaughter both Meat and Chameleon with a horrified expression on his face. Reptile, curious as to what the noise was, walked in.
"Hey, what's all the racket?" he asked.
Sub-Zero, a stunned expression on his face, pointed at the carnage. Reptile grinned.
"Is that Khameleon? Wow…" Reptile said.
After a few minutes, Chameleon and Meat's screams died off, leaving only grunting and slurping sounds as Khameleon devoured them both. After a while, Khameleon stood back up, belching as she fit her humanoid face back on. Her stomach bulged out comically and she was covered from the chest up in blood.
"'Scuse me," she said, stifling another belch.
"That was awesome," Reptile said.
Khameleon blushed, "You really think so?"
Reptile nodded. "C'mon, let's get you a soda. It'll help you digest all that."
Arm in arm, Khameleon and Reptile left the room. One could almost see the hearts trailing behind them as they exited. Sub-Zero stared at the chewed-up remnants of Chameleon and Meat, struck numb by the ferocity of the attack.
Shao Kahn came up behind him and yelled "FATALITY!"
Sub-Zero yipped in fright, and then ripped Shao Kahn's head off, the spin still attached. "Don't fucking do that!!!"
He threw Shao Kahn's head down with the rest of the body parts, letting his body drop down. He sighed, and left. "I'm getting too old for this… I think I'll go see Frost and give her some more 'special lessons…' With luck, she won't get knocked up this time…"
He left the room, slamming the door. A few hours later, an elderly janitor came in and swore angrily at the mess. "Damn kids…"