Disclaimer: This is strictly a musical parody using music belonging to Tom Lehrer and his related record companies as well as characters and concepts belonging to Marvel Entertainment. No claim of ownership is made or implied by me in using their property or any part therof. No part of this work is intended for material gain of any kind. It is intended for the sole purpose of creative exercise and the entertainment of others.

This song follows the tune of Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer


(The Claremontism Tango)

What phrase did I hear from your lips, bub,
Just one more of those fine trademark quips, bub.
Here come those lines
We've used many times,
As we dance to the Claremontism tango.

No quarter will be asked, and none given,
Wouldn't be polite to disappoint them.
We talk a lot,
So take your best shot,
As we dance to the Claremontism tango.

Da, Tovarisch,
I must say ungaublich,
Until we all get sick... Cripes!
It's catchphrase butchery.
We did none harm,
Yet harm was done to us,
Another in our trust
Of fine soliloquies.

My wrist has a blade-like abnormality,
Psychic powers, it's my focused totality.

And look, here they come,
Those weird guys who say "Yum!"
Hope they're gone when we're done
With this tango.

You think we jest
But with us it's the norm, bub,
Comes with the uniform, bub,
Sayings that can enthrall.
And I'm simply the best
There is at what I do, bub,
And the thing that I do, bub,
Isn't pretty at all.

Ah'm nigh invulnerable when Ah'm blastin'.
Sugah, that line makes us all want to grin.
Me and my big mouth
This whole caper's gone south,
While we dance to the Claremontism tango.

By the white wolf,
We still have more to say,
Preparing our next play:
Fastball special on "two."
And our own fate
Even our very lives,
Mean nothing, so arrives
More one-liners just for you.
Goddess!

Take every cliché we can muster,
And you'll see a pattern to our bluster.
So just unwind,
We won't be maligned,
While we dance to the Claremontism tango.