Title: Fall from Grace

Author: Me

Pairing: Raito/L

Disclaimer: Not mine yo

Summary: While participating in the Kira investigation, Raito suddenly runs into a personal issue of enough magnitude to diffuse his ability to bring Kira to justice.

AUTHORS NOTE: This chapter is dedicated to Gabrielle for being so awesome and supportive and helpful with this fic. ILU BEBE

Also, someone called Regena left an anonymous review, and I really wanted to reply but couldn't! I hope you're still reading this, and read this author's note, cus I wanted to thank you for leaving such a nice review =]]]


Raito was cold and lost, wandering around in a dark forest where every place he went looked identical to the last. Suddenly, a beam of light pierced through the brush ahead and he followed it until he finally reached a clearing.

His vision was flooded with tombstones, tens of thousands of them, stretching as far as he could see.

He jolted as a sudden screeching noise pierced his senses, so loud it felt as though his ears were bleeding. He clutched at them, trying to block out the sound as his eyes sought out the source. He looked toward the centre of the graveyard where he saw Amane Misa crouched on the ground with her back to him. Her body was curled over a tombstone, an incisive screech stabbing into his head with every jagged move of her arm. As he approached her the dread grew in intensity, and by the time he came to stand behind her he felt ridden with nausea.

"Misa..." he whispered, and the noise stopped. She turned to him, smiling brightly, pride shining in her expression. The dread grew and grew with every inch he leaned over her shoulder until the solitary letter 'L' glared up at him from the centre of the stone, a mangled pen bleeding into the carving from Misa's grip.

He was horror stricken, staring at her eerily smiling face as he stumbled backward to get away from what he had seen. His foot caught and he tripped backward, his body seizing and hands bracing for the fall. But the impact never came.

He suddenly found himself sitting upright in bed, gripping sheets in sweaty hands, and remained that way until his erratic pulse very gradually returned to normal.


Raito was nervous as he listened from his desk to the sound of distant footsteps becoming increasingly more audible, pausing just outside the office door before entering. He didn't have to look to know who it was, none of the others were often inclined to show up for work so early, aside from L of course.

"Raito.." Souichirou's quiet tone of voice revealed nothing of whether he'd expected to find him there or not.

"Good morning, father," Raito replied habitually, feeling anxious and awkward wearing L's clothes in front of him. He had to assure himself that it seemed innocent enough, it technically was, and it was easily and logically explainable.

"Son...can we talk for a minute?" he inquired softly, sounding innocuous enough to somewhat ease Raito's nerves. He rose from his seat and followed Souichirou into the adjacent conference room, sparing a glance over his shoulders and meeting L's gaze briefly before shutting the door behind him. His father sat at the conference table and gestured for him to do the same. "Please, go ahead and sit down."

There was a short silence ended by Souichirou clearing his throat before he spoke. "Your mother and I had a long discussion after you left.. I...apologise for the way I behaved last night," he admitted, baring a look of solemn regret. "I realise that it was not the kind of approach you need right now. I only want to help you with this, but it seems I did not convey that very well. I let my temper get the best of me..."

"Father.." Raito had been bracing himself for another brutal confrontation. He had never once imagined that his father would approach him in such a non-belligerent manner. He was unable to prevent his doubt and caution from completely containing the relief incited by the wholly unexpected show of mercy.

"Your mother and I understand that you're going through a difficult time right now, and of course we both only want what's best for you. We've decided to get you some help." Raito's blood ran cold, washing away all sense of hope and relief.

"Help? As in..?"

"Professional help. Apparently there is a doctor working in Tokyo who specialises in such cases. We believe he may be able to find out what's caused this and help you to overcome it."

"Wha.." Raito gaped at him, momentarily speechless. He was smacked with a feeling of utter disappointment, feeling like a complete idiot for having allowed himself to believed for one second that he was being treated with any form of understanding. Help him overcome what exactly? His attraction to men? His disgust toward women? He had already tried to 'overcome' it so desperately that he was well assured by now that the prospect was entirely unrealistic. Maybe a few months ago he would have latched onto the possibility that some doctor may have the capability to bestow his salvation, but clearly he was no longer privy to such blissful ignorance. Didn't they know him well enough to realise he was smarter than that, that he'd already tried? "You don't seriously think that something like that would really-"

"-Raito," his father cut in, his control of his temper clearly dwindling already. "You are in no position to argue with me on this. You are clearly not in the frame of mind to know what's best for you."

"Frame of mind?! What do you think I am, some kind of lunatic?!" Raito stood and shouted, anger and shock coursing through his veins.

"Well that is not exactly the term I was looking to use, but given the fact that you seem to be suffering from and illness which goes completely against human nature itself, you are not too far off the mark!" Souichirou countered as he pushed up from his own seat, his short temper perceivably getting the better of him. "Can't you see it isn't
normal for a man to be sexually attracted to other men?!"

Raito grit his teeth and felt his face heat at his father's words. "I know that, but.." Of course he knew that, how could he not? But he had come to discover that it much like any other aspect of life it was a matter of chance. For one reason or another, it had happened, and there was nothing he could do about it.

"You're sick, Raito. Come to your senses and let us get you some help!"

"Yagami-san." L's sharp tone caused both their heads to snap toward the doorway. "Pardon my intrusion, but your voices can be heard as far as the hallway."

Souichirou paled, instantly grasping for an innocent explanation. "I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki. I didn't realise.." he began, looking anxious and disgraced for all the wrong reasons.

L gave him a long firm look. "I believe I'm not the one who you should be apologising to," he declared with a subtle twist of brutality to his otherwise composed tone of voice, his eyes shifting between the two. "I'm afraid I shall have to ask you to leave the premises if you continue to treat a fellow team member with such discourtesy."

Souichirou looked positively scandalised. "You don't understand.." he began, but trailed off, obviously reluctant to explain the shameful situation.

"The topic of your conversation is quite evident, Yagami-san. It seems it is you who does not understand," L blandly accused. "In many modern states, it has been made highly illegal for one to discriminate based on sexuality, especially within a working environment. Therefore, while Japan itself has yet to enforce such laws, and though your personal matters and what occurs in your own household are no business of mine, I must insist that in my workplace every one of my employees be treated equally and with due respect."

Souichirou clenched his teeth and accepted defeat for lack of any alternative. "Yes, Ryuuzaki.. My apologies," he said pitifully, afterward looking to Raito who was too busy staring at L in astonishment to notice. He pushed back his chair and left the room, avoiding meeting L's eyes when he moved aside to let him through the doorway.

"Ryuuzaki.. why..?" Raito's heart beat wildly.

"I thought I'd made it clear. I do not consider such behaviour to be proper work ethic. The same regulations apply to each member of my investigation team."

L's detached explanation failed to calm the rush of adrenaline that had swept through Raito upon witnessing the uncharacteristically agitated undertone of his reaction. Even as he stared at the other man's now impassive face, he couldn't help but feel deep down that L had been angry, and that his anger had been out of concern for him.



im drunk, and this is too short, but im posting it anyway. mannnn this is getting lamer by the second isnt it? i think im losing interest, are you all hating it yet? hahaha im really finding it hard to continue, i hope this chapter was disappointing enough for no one to mind if i abandon the living shit out of this story