If i own bleach, i'll make sure Akatsuki are the main charactors..but i don't.

Naruto and and its charactors belong to Kishimoto.

Yes i know Itachi, Konan and Pein don't have any dialouge here. They never talk when sealing the bijuu anyway...


"We have one more day left to seal the bijuu," the leader (pein) ordered, "now concentrate."

Hidan grumbled, "this is the most boring part after the capture."

"Shut up," Kakuzu retorted, "this is our job, now get used to it." Closing his eyes the mask man concentrated on his chakra and ighnoring Hidan.

Hidan grumbled a bit more and was just about to go back into focusing his chakra when…SPLAT!

"Oi What the ," Hidan cursed as something wet fell on his shoulders, the leader shot Hidan a warning glare.

"What's the problem now god-boy hmm?" Deidara mocked, he was irritated at being disrupted from his concentration.

Hidan sniffed, his nose twitched, "it better not be…"

SPLAT! Something wet was falling onto the giant statue. "Is it raining?" Tobi asked looking up in curiosity.

"We're in a cave Tobi," Kisame answered, "besides it doesn't looked like rain. Zetsu what's the weather outside?"

"Dry..." Zetsu said.

"Concentrate," the leader ordered.

SPLATTER! Now something wet had fallen on the finger that Deidara was standing on. "Oh shit," Deidara yelped almost falling off in an attempt to backtrack a safe distance.

Hidan immediately started to go berserk, "IT IS SHIT, WHAT THE HELL IS SHIT DOING HERE?!"

"Hidan don't be dumber than you already are," Kakuzu sighed, "there is no way shit could coming flying down on your head in a cave, unless…oh shit…"

"What do you mean? Unless.." Deidara's eyes suddenly when wide on his hologram face, "oh…"

"Can you three stop swearing and tell me what the hell is going on?!" Kisame demanded.

"Were there any bats in this cave when you came here Kakuzu san?" Tobi asked.

"There were but I placed wards to prevent bats from living in here," Kakuzu said unable to hide the anger in his voice, "HIDAAAAAANN!!!!!"

"Oh sure blame me," Hidan said sarcastically, "weren't you the one who was too cheap to buy proper warding talismans in the first place?" SPLAT! SPLAT! Two fell in succession on Hidan's head.

"You know maybe someone's telling you something, Hidan?" Deidara suggested brightly before one fell where Deidara's head was supposed to be, SPLAT! "#$#$&& hmm!!!" Deidara cursed enough to put most dockhand workers to shame.

"Hey hey language," Kisame said, "we're around kids you know."

"Tobi is a good boy," Tobi said brightly, then a succession of bat's dropping started falling everywhere.

"You know…(SPLAT!)yuck!…Someone or something is definitely trying to tell us something hmm," Deidara said in disgust.

"QUIET!!!!!" leader yelled, "concentrate and stop thinking about shit."

"Easy for you to say," Hidan grumbled, "ypu're not the one standing in a bat infested cave trying not to move from a (SPLAT!)…oh #$#"

"Looks like the bat's are aiming for Hidan's head," Kisame snickered.

"Hidan stop your whining," Kakuzu ordered, "you see me complaining? I'm stuck in the same cave with you!!"

"Why you…" Hidan was about to retort when bat poop fell directly on Kakuzu's head.

The cave went silent. Then…

"Kakuzu san don't lose you temper!!!" Tobi yelped as Kakuzu's skin turned color, "remember your blood pressure, think good happy thoughts, think of…killing Hidan!"

"Hey!!" Hidan protested.

"BE QUIET AND YOU JOB!!!!!" leader ordered. SPLAT! Bat guano had fallen directly on leader's head, "concentrate NOW."

No one was willing to argue with him. At least until the bijuu was sealed.

Final score: Bats 1 Akatsuki 0




"Clean this up you two," the leader ordered before disappearing.

"WHAT?!" Hidan demanded as he stared at the enormous statue, SPLAT! he noticed Kakuzu had gained another one on his mask, "oh Sh--"


I'm evil. Review please?

Dedicated to sepritex and the Almighty Black Death for reading my stories and giving reviews.

Thank you all who favourited, alerted and commented on my stories as well.

My god i'm really turning emo 0