HaniMontaniacs

An Animaniacs spoof of Hannah Montana

"You get the lemon out front. Your shoes go missing on a daily occasion. Yeah when your manager's good it's kind of fun, but hers is bad and constantly on vacation. Only Disney could've dreamed this up, but I heard they stole the idea...

You get the worst of this world, taking bad hand-me downs, from your brother the clown. You get the worst of both worlds, but you've got real good friends, they say that never ends. You get the worst of this world, mix it all together and the chemicals will surely explode!"

The day began in some town in California. Miley Stewart and her friends Oliver Oken and Lilly Truscott were sitting at the beach. Miley was explaining to Lilly her latest gripe about Jake Ryan, the kid from the TV that she liked.

"I just don't get it Lilly. That boy ain't right in the head!"

"Huh?" Lilly asked. Miley had uttered her "Southern Slang" again.

"You'd never make it in the South!" Miley said. Oliver was busy checking out his hair and winking at every cute girl that walked by.

"Oliver, do you have to do that? I'm surprised you don't yell something ridiculous like, oh I don't know, 'Hello, Nurse!'" Lilly said.

"Hellooooooooooooooooo, Nurse!" Lilly turned around as she heard the exact phrase she thought she'd just made up, spoken in extreme exaggeration. She saw three similar looking characters looking over at her from afar. They plopped down, one by one, in front of her immediately.

"Hi! We're trying to find our way back to Burbank, California! Can you help us?" the oldest one asked.

"Who are you?" Lilly asked.

"We're the Warner Brothers!" The two males replied.

"And the Warner Sister!" The female replied.

"I'm Yakko!" The tallest said.

"I'm Wakko!" The shorter one said.

"And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Franchesca Banana Fana Bo Besca the Third! But you can call me Dot!" The girl said.

"Can I call you Dottie?" Oliver asked.

"No. Just Dot. Call me Dottie and your televison career is over, kid!" Dot replied. Canned laughter filled the air.

"Canned laughter? That is just terrible! Nothing worse than pretending to have an audience because you know real people wouldn't laugh at your jokes!" Yakko said.

"Figures, all those years we spent bashing the Disney Channel, now we're on it!" Dot said.

"It's a rather sick irony, isn't it?" Wakko said.

"In this twisted universe of ours, you do the things that sell. And if they want us to parody the stuffing out of current cartoons and tv shows that could use a laugh, then that's what we're going to do, and we're going to like it! So says the new execs of the CW!" Yakko said.

"What are you guys doing here?" Miley asked. Yakko raised his eyebrow to the nonexistent audience.

"Simple. We're here to woo, skewer, and cause havoc!" He jumped into Miley's arms. Wakko jumped into Lilly's arms, and Dot jumped into Oliver's arms. They all kissed their respective carriers and yelled "Hellooooooooooooo Nurse!"

Now, Lilly had her heart broken recently, and she was having a hard time getting over it. She talked with Miley about it. Unknown to them, Dot was listening to the conversation. She could hardly believe her ears...this was a juicy piece of gossip.

"Men. Go fig!" She blurted out.

"You said it." Lilly replied. "The worst part was, he lied to me. He told me he loved me, yet I saw him with another girl the next day." The worst was yet to come. Lilly suddenly saw her ex coming down the way. He stopped at their table.

"Hello Lilly, my sweet flower." He said rather sickeningly sweet.

"Hello, you rotten heartbreaking player!" She replied.

"Hey, what did I ever do to you?" He asked. Dot gestured toward him.

"Wow, dumber than advertised!" She said, looking at the camera.

"Are you kidding? You took my heart and stomped on it with those deadly oderous feet of yours!" Lilly replied. That made him angry.

"Shut up! Just shut up! I don't need to listen to you!" He said.

"Hey! Back off, man!" Oliver yelled.

"Or what?" Lilly's ex said.

"Nothing, sir." Oliver retreated to his corner.

"Oh Oliver, my brave knight in shining armor!" Lilly said.

"Really?" He asked. Apparently, sarcasm was lost on him.

The Warners suddenly approached the scene.

"Hey, could you quit yelling? We're trying to figure out our way back to Burbank!" Yakko told Lilly's ex. But he would have none of it.

"No."

"Did you know jerks like you are the exact reason chivalry is dead? No really, it's an interesting read!" Yakko said.

"I knew it! And frankly, I'm glad! What makes women so high and mighty that they get to have doors opened for them anyway..." Yakko stopped paying attention and turned to Wakko.

"Mallets?" Wakko asked. Yakko turned and saw Lilly obviously feeling hurt by the remarks. He turned away in disgust.

"Mallets, Wakko." Wakko passed out three mallets to himself, Yakko and Dot. They crept up behind the jerk, who was still berating women. Then, they smashed him with their mallets.

"Why did you do that?" He weakly asked. Yakko pointed at him with his thumb.

"He's obviously never seen an episode of Animaniacs before." He said.

"Oh thank you!" Lilly said. She hugged Yakko.

"I love cartoons." He said. The scene switched from the beach to Miley's house. She walked in the door and fell on the couch.

"What a day." Her dad heard her and came in the room.

"What's the matter, bud?" he asked.

"You wouldn't believe it. I met these three little kids who smashed Lilly's ex boyfriend with their mallets!"

"Uh huh. I think you've been out in the sun too long! What did they look like?"

"Well, Yakko had brown pants on, Wakko wore a blue shirt and red cap, and their sister Dot wore a pretty pink outfit. They were soooo cute!" Mr. Stewart looked skeptically at his daughter.

"Jackson! We can't go to the game tonight! Your sister is very very sick! I don't know if we can leave her alone tonight!" he said. Jackson came into the room decked out in sports gear.

"But we had first row seats! We woulda been close enough to get soaked in sweat! Miley ruins everything!" He turned to her. "You and your childish fantasies!" Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it." He trudged over to the door.

"Aaaaaaaugh!" He yelled as three mallets came crashing down on him. He was flattened. Yakko noticed something.

"Hey guys, this isn't the home of Zac Efron!" he said. He turned to the camera. "Yes, now we're being forced to drop names while we smash random people. Funny, huh?" Wakko looked at the map. Dot noticed the map was upside down and corrected it.

"See? His house is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over here!"

"Oh. Sorry." Wakko said. Mr. Stewart came to the door.

"What is going on out here?" He looked at the Warners. They were exactly how his daughter had described them.

"You're...you're..."

"Yes?" Yakko said.

"Y...Ya..."

"Sound it out!" Dot said. He grew dizzy and fainted, falling right on top of Jackson, who had since woken up. The Warners shrugged their shoulders and walked into the house.

"I'm hungry. Let's see what's in the refrigerator." Wakko said.

"You do that, Wakko. I'm going to check out the place myself." Yakko said. He entered a room and noticed a cute blond doing some styling while looking in a mirror.

"Helloooooooooooooooooooooo, Nurse!" he yelled, making the girl jump. She turned around and Yakko freaked out at the red streak across her face. He noticed it was Miley. Then he smiled.

"I like the punk rocker look, but you don't quite have it down. First of all, your hair is waaaaay off!" he said. He styled her hair until it looked like the hairdo of one of the guys from Def Leppard. "Next, you need some more black stuff around the eyes!" He whistled for Dot, and without saying a word, she appeared and did her makeup thing. Miley looked into the mirror and freaked out.

"What have you done?"

"We made you look more like a rocker!" Dot said.

"Daddy!" Miley yelled.

"What is it? Whoa!" He came up the stairs and noticed his daughter. "You look like one of the guys from Def Leppard! What happened?" Then Jackson came into the room.

"Whoa! You look like one of the guys from Def Leppard! That's more like it!"

"Ah...let's go, Dot!" Yakko said. They hightailed it down the stairs. Grabbing Wakko, the Warners ran out of the house, down the street, past the beach, caught a cab, and got off at the Warner Brothers lot. They climbed up the water tower and went inside.

"Whew, finally found our way back. Let's never run away again!" Wakko said.

"That's impossible! We've got a date with a teenage robot next week!" Yakko said.

"Is she cute?"

"Yes."

"Faboo!"

"Boys..." Dot said, rolling her eyes. "That poor girl won't know what hit her."

The End