A/N: Thank you for waiting. ^^ Comments are LOVE!
Shishido Ryou furrowed his eyebrows. "Damn it, Atobe! Why are we going to Seigaku today? Did you forget that, oh, yeah, maybe we need to practice, hm?" He folded his arms across his chest to express that he did not want to go to Seigaku.
"Oh, come on, Shishido. You're so whiny," Mukahi Gakuto smirked. "You act like a girl."
Shishido glared at Gakuto. "At least I don't look like a girl," Shishido said, even though we all know he also looked like a girl.
Gakuto laughed. "Nice one, Shishido! Haha! Atobe does look like a girl."
"I was referring to you, idiot," Shishido told Gakuto.
"Are you peasants done fighting, aaahn? I, the great Atobe, have to tell you something of the utmost importance. It concerns the reason as to why we need to go to Seigaku today." Atobe flicked his hair and waited for applause.
Apparently, no one wanted to clap so Atobe snapped his fingers towards Kabaji.
"Yes," Kabaji said.
"You were supposed to clap, Kabaji," an annoyed Atobe said.
Kabaji was very furious inside. How was he to clap and say "yes" at the same time? Atobe was asking too much!
"Well?" Atobe urged Kabaji.
"Yes," Kabaji said and then he clapped once. He said "yes" again and clapped once. It was very hard for Kabaji.
Man, Kabaji was terribly abused!
"I will settle for that for now, Kabaji. But you need to work on your clapping. It did not look decent enough."
"Listen, peasants! I, the great Atobe, order you all to come to Seigaku with me. It seems that Tezuka needs my help. Hah!" Atobe smirked.
Oshitari Yuushi sighed. "Don't tell me you're dragging the whole team into this mess just because Tezuka asked you to? I thought you were over him? Troublesome."
"Over him? Did he like Tezuka? Yuushi~! You're hiding things from me again," Gakuto pouted.
Oshitari smirked. "Forget what I said."
Atobe blushed faintly. "Ore-sama does not like anyone but ore-sama."
"Yeah, and I like Choutaro." Shishido said sarcastically.
With that said, Choutaro blushed.
"You guys are so gay," Gakuto laughed. Everyone looked at him blankly.
"I'm not even gonna say you look like a girl. It's too obvious." Shishido smirked.
Atobe rolled his eyes. "We need to go to Seigaku now. Tezuka wants the team to give Seigaku a talk about something."
"About what?" Choutaro inquired, still blushing.
Oshitari smirked. "My, my, Choutaro. Are you feeling hot today?"
"I...um, eh... Gakuto-senpai looks like a girl, don't you think?" Choutaro tried changing the topic.
Atobe cleared his throat. "Apparently, it is a talk about Pornography."
Shishido, Gakuto and Hiyoshi blushed.
Choutaro passed out.
Oshitari smirked some more.
Kabaji was too stunned to say yes.
And Jirou woke up.
"Well?" Atobe urged them to say something. "Are you guys coming with me, the great Atobe?"
"No way in hell am I coming with you!" Shishido cursed.
Gakuto gulped. "Don't you think the topic's a little too personal?"
Hiyoshi just blushed some more.
"I think all of us should go. It would be a great team experience," Oshitari smiled. "Right, Kabaji?"
"Yes." Everyone looked at Kabaji. Kabaji looked at them as if to say, 'What did you expect me to say?'
"Let us make haste now. We should not waste any more time." Atobe snapped his fingers.
And with that said, the team went to Seigaku.
"Since when did this stage get here?" Momoshiro asked, scratching his head. "How are we supposed to practice now, Captain?"
Tezuka shrugged inwardly. He was thinking what the hell repeatedly but his expression gave no indication of it.
Fuji smiled. This would be good.
Ryoma smirked. I am so taking notes today.
Eiji was bugging Oishi to buy popcorn since he was thinking that there was going to be a school play.
And yes, Horio still looked like he was about to throw up.
All the Seigaku Tennis Club members looked at the aforementioned stage. On the stage was a projector, a laptop, a set of microphones and a complete sound system.
Everything looked so flashy.
Everyone flashed their eyes and thought the same thing. Atobe.
With that, said bearer of the name appeared on the stage. As Yesal, Atobe was donning flashy clothes and was wearing the same smug smirk he always wore whenever he felt superior to anyone. Of course, he always felt superior to anyone always.
"Greetings!" Atobe exclaimed. "I, the great Atobe, have come to this school to help the Seigaku Tennis Club undertand what pornography is!"
Bleeding bungalows! Oishi thought. "He's going to corrupt our minds!" He spoke out loud. "Eiji, noooooooo!" He said as he proceeded to cover both of Eiji's ears with his hands.
"Nyah, Oishi. You're embarrassing me," Eiji scratched his cheeks as he talked. "Everyone watches porn, anyway." He shrugged.
Singing seashells! Oishi thought. "You watch porn?" he couldn't believe what Eiji said. "But! You're wrong! I...I don't watch porn!" he yelled.
Everyone looked at Oishi in disbelief.
"It's true! Never have, never will!" he shouted, proud.
"Yeah, but you still have those weird bangs!" a random guy shouted, making everyone laugh.
Atobe cleared his throat. "As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, we, the Hyoutei Tennis Club, have come here to enlighten you about the true essence of porn!" he snapped his fingers as he waited for applause.
Fortunately, people were kind enough to clap their hands. Kabaji breathed his sigh of relief.
"We were supposed to show a pornography video—
Catcalls and cheering ensued.
—but your coach protested and said that she'd shave my hair if we did that." Atobe finished, earning boos and disappointment sounds.
"Screw the coach!" Taka screamed, burning.
Everyone inwardly agreed with him. Except Oishi, of course.
"However," Atobe started, "I believe that we should start this presentation with a tiny skit we had planned." Oh, yes, the team was able to plan a skit spontaneously! They can do ultra awesome tennis moves! They can do anything!
"Saa," Fuji said, "What's the skit about?"
"It's about the essence of porn, Fuji!" Jirou exclaimed, excited to see his idol. He was wearing lipstick and a blond wig.
Kabaji was wearing...his Yesal clothing and Shishido was wearing an apron with his hair down.
"This is so freaking lame!" Shishido exclaimed. "I swear I'm gonna get you, Atobe! Ugh!"
Atobe smirked in reply. He snapped his fingers. "Hyoutei hereby presents to you 'Porn: Its Essence' as directed by me, the great Atobe."
Curtains fell as the crowd clapped their hands. When the curtains rose, everyone was silent as they anticipate what the play would be about.
"Baji-kun, my son!" Shishido exclaimed while wearing a pink apron, "It's time for dinner!"
"Yes." Kabaji said as he turned on a computer. He typed the word 'porn' and many names of dirty websites popped out.
"As you can see," Atobe's voice as the narrator was heard, "teenage people love porn."
A wave of "Duh" was heard. Oishi was about to protest when Eiji popped popcorn in his mouth. Eiji popped popcorn. That's so catchy! Let me type that once again: Eiji popped popcorn in his mouth.
"Baji-kun! Where are you? Come down!" Shishido, while wearing a pink apron , exclaimed. His womanly voice cracked from too much screaming.
"Yes." Kabaji said as he clicked on an imaginary link. Jirou was then shown wearing a lipstick and the blond wig earlier.
"The word pornography is derived from the Greek word pornē which means prostitute." Yuushi's sexy voice reverberated. "But," he added, "Who cares about that? Porn is good."
"I'm going up there!" Shishido, while wearing a pink apron, said as he stepped up an imaginary stairs and knocked on Kabaji's room.
"Yes." Kabaji said as he frantically tried to shut down his computer. Too bad! The computer wouldn't respond! It wouldn't shut down! Yes! Yes! Yes!!! Kabaji cursed inside his brain.
"People tend to hide it, but inside every one of us is a dirty, wild porn lover," Choutaro blushed as he read his script. He was about to stop reading when Gakuto nudged him. "And," Choutaro blushed some more, "Dirty and wild are sexy."
Shishido, wearing a pink apron, opened Kabaji's door and saw him trying to shut down his computer who froze in the opening scene of a porn show with Jirou as the lead star.
Of course, no pornography was done yet, as it was stated earlier that the computer was not responding. Also, Kabaji watching porn with Jirou in it that would be just too wrong.
Our eyes might burn.
"Baji-kun! You're watching porn!" Shishido exclaimed.
"Duh," Gakuto's voice as the narrator was heard. The audience looked at him. They were expecting him to continue his narration. "What? That's all I got," he said, shrugging.
"So," Atobe snapped his fingers and the play ended, "Basically, we would like to inculcate these major points: Teenage people, no, actually, everyone with the exception of Oishi, watched porn. Pornography means prostitution. Dirty and wild porn are sexy, and Choutaro looks like a tomato when he blushes."
With that said, lights flashed off and sound systems stopped.
"That was lame!" Momo shouted. They should have just let us watch porn.
"I loved Choutaro's part," Fuji smiled.
Tezuka was actually thinking the same thing Momo was but he remained silent.
Inui was busy editing the play he recorded.
Eiji was still eating popcorn.
Kaidou hotly blushed.
Oishi passed out.
And still Ryoma was not satisfied. "Damn, I need more sources."