Author: Moi

Summary: Shannon ponders life when she sees Boone holding Aaron, Claire's son. An AU Lost. Hints of Shoone and Blaire.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This is purely fan made, no money making here.

A/N: Read, love, review.

Holding This World

Claire Littleton isn't that special.

She's just a stupid, petite, blond, pregnant woman from Australia. I don't understand why everyone loves her and her damned unborn child.

When we first crashed, I didn't except to mingle with anyone except Boone, my step brother who's been in love with me forever. I'm still on this damn island and I've got few friends but whatever.

Boone seems lonely, good. I don't need him talking to strangers that seem noisy, weird, and just plain odd. But of course, being bad ass Boone he makes friends. At first with that old dude Locke but that's okay.

Boone deserves a little more conversation with someone other then me. See, I'm not selfish. I'm willing to share Boone with Locke because Locke looks more lost then the rest of us. He seems sad a lot.

Then Boone decides to be a bigger bad ass, much to my disapprove, he befriends Claire Littleton.

Claire is pretty, I guess if you're into that knocked up soon to be single mother thing. Boone isn't. I think?

Damn it. I don't know. Ever since we've been on this island I never know with Boone. He's become snappy, more then usual, and happy-ish. At least he's happy except he's happy with Claire.

I see her talking to everyone. Big whoop so she's the damn social butterfly of this island. She talks to Jack, Kate, Charlie, and just everyone. They all love her. Maybe it's because she's going to have a kid or her blue eyes. Hell, even her hair because it really is nice.

Boone looks at her a lot when he thinks I'm not looking. I can see his eyes trace over Claire's face and bump. Right down to her skinny legs. Boone looks over her again and again like she's the freakin' Mona Lisa.

Claire Littleton isn't that pretty.

I'm talking to Sayid about something stupid. It was either shoes or my hair, whatever. Unconsciously my eyes drift over to Boone who's sitting on the beach. He's stopped looking for me.

Oh my freakin' God. It's the dreaded day. Claire's walking towards… Boone. Oh shit! What do I do? Do I tell her Boone's diseased? Like that would work. Come on Shannon think fast.

Jesus for a pregnant person she sure walks fast.

I'm about to get up when I realize Claire's already next to Boone. Sitting down, opening her mouth. Words came out, he's laughing, and she's laughing. What the hell is this? A rerun of The Brady Bunch?

This is killing me. What could they possibly be talking about?

Oh no. They're getting up and walking down the beach. How clichéd! Is he trying to hold her hand? I can't see anything from here. Damn.

Relax Shannon. They're probably not going to be having sex anytime soon. I mean, she's pregnant for God's sake. They could still make out. Why am I even thinking this far.

They're just walking together. Into the sunset, on a beach, no ones watching them. Well, except for me. This is like a scene right out of those trashy romance novels Boone's mother reads.

"Shannon you alright?" Sayid asks me. I look back at him, almost forgetting that he was talking to me.

"Peachy," I lie. He smiles softly at me. Boone used to smile at me like that.


For weeks now, Boone's been by her side. Taking care of her, making sure she isn't ill. Blah, blah, blah. They act like their married and this is their first child. Ahh! Bad image.

When Claire was lost, all I could think was that if she never came back would Boone be the same?

He wasn't.

He searched all day for her. He'd come back horribly dirty and depressed. We didn't talk the whole time Claire was gone and we still haven't. Guess this is what life is like without Boone.

Claire Littleton isn't that miss-able.

At first, I thought Boone was just depressed because Claire was a girl and his friend. Then I saw that look one night. That classic, hopeless "I'm in love" Boone look. That's were it all went into the toilet.


A couple days with that continuous cycle, Boone seemed to focus on me a little more. That is till Locke brought back Claire that night.

You should have seen Boone's face. It was like it was his first Christmas and Claire was the biggest present under the tree. So you can imagine the sadness that etched his face when Claire didn't remember any of them.

Yet he stood by Claire's side. Trying his hardest to help her remember but she didn't. But Boone kept trying and trying till one night when he thought everyone was asleep.

Boone kissed her.

It was like a horrible dream. A nightmare even to be extreme. I can clearly remember it because it was etched in my brain. Tattooed to remember when I was old and ready to die, probably reliving that damn kiss.

"Claire. How you doing?" he asked her like he does every night.

"Good except I can't remember anything," she sarcastically uttered.

He'd laugh. A laugh I'd stay up most nights just to hear even when I knew perfectly well that it was for Claire.


"Yeah, Claire?"

"My baby's going to need a real father. Do you want to be it?"

My breath had been stuck in my throat at the time. My breathing wasn't doing so well you can imagine. Boone wasn't ready to be a dad. I mean he was Boone, in love with me, Shannon.

Except that he wasn't.

The new Boone Carlyle was genuinely excited for Claire's baby. He was in love with Claire Littleton. He's become less moody and happier.

"I would love to Claire."

Then he moved in and she did too. Within a couple of seconds their lips were locked. His arms wrapped around, protecting her like he'd done for me.

I thought I was going to cry but I blinked back my tears. Shannon Rutherford doesn't cry. Especially not over a stupid, blond, petite Australian pregnant girl who stole the one person that ever loved me.

Claire Littleton isn't that loveable.

So for the next weeks, I watched. I watched Boone talk to Claire's large stomach. Watched him fall more in love with her. Watched him help pick a name for it, help her, take walks with her.

I watched and I watched. Each time broke my heart a little more.

I'm starting to wonder if this is what Boone felt all the time I was with other people. If he did, I can understand why he hated me sometimes. But Boone's got Claire now. I'm guessing their going to be really happy.

I wish I was happy.

I doubt I'd be happy with Boone but maybe I could've tried.

I could've tried to love him and his quirky habits.

I could've done so many things but I can't.

Claire sits down in the sand with Boone next to her before she breaks out in giggles. Boone looks confused by her sudden outburst. She takes his hand and leads it to her stomach to feel the kicks.

He smiles like this is his kid.

Like Claire Littleton is his.

What a load of crap!


So Claire had the little brat a couple weeks ago. Boone's acting like he can become a father figure for what its face. Aaron, I think?

Boone holds that small baby nicely. He looks happy, far happier then he was with me. Because let's face it I was a loose cannon and horrible.

Yes, I am mature enough to realize my faults.

It isn't a surprise when Boone asks Claire to marry him. Claire looks ecstatic and happy, and something I can't place.

It still isn't a surprise when she mumbles yes and publicly kisses him in front of everyone. Everyone looks happy for them including Charlie, who obviously had more then friendly feelings towards Claire.

The wedding's really happening.

Boone stands there nervous as Jack tells him to relax for the fifth time. Then it happens for the first time in awhile, Boone smiles at me.

"Congrats," I mouth at him because I've had an epiphany. We are not who we were when we first were on this island. We've all changed hugely.

I've changed.

I don't need Boone to love me anymore. I can love myself and that should be enough. For the first time, I can be strong without being spiteful and rude. I can just be Shannon.

"Thank you," he mouths back.

Heads turn as we all look at Claire. She slowly walks up the makeshift isle, kissing Aaron on the head as she passes by.

I know what everyone's thinking.

I know what Boone's thinking.

I know what I should've been thinking all those weeks.

Even though it's probably not what Boone or Claire would have originally wanted. Even though she's not in a classic Vera Wang dress or Boone's in a t-shirt and not tux. Even though we all don't know each other that well.

Claire Littleton is beautiful.

Claire Littleton is special.

Claire Littleton is pretty.

Claire Littleton is miss-able.

Claire Littleton is loveable.

So I grip onto Sayid's hand for the first time. My eyes full of fresh tears and I watch.

I watch Boone put on a ring on Claire's tiny finger.

I watch Claire do the same.

I watch them say their vows and sometimes Claire cries a little. I watch Boone tell her she's wonderful and perfect and his. I watch Claire says she loves him more then she's ever love anyone.

I watch him kiss her.

I watch as Boone Carlyle officially makes Claire Littleton, I mean Carlyle, his.

I've got the best sister in law a girl could ask for. An adorable nephew. A happy step brother.

I, Shannon Rutherford, am finally happy.


It was a bit fluffy but idk. I just sort of came to me.

Review please.