Wow. It's been almost a year.
What can I say? Virus, had to wipe entire laptop, got lazy, and now I'm back.
P.S. I had the idea for this short scene a long time ago and it's one of my favorites. As I'm writing this, there is a major thunderstorm, my favorite thing in the world. So inspiration was sure to strike. Yay!
DISCLAIMER: (I keep forgetting to but these on here!) I unfortunately do not own Maximum Ride. It belongs to James Patterson! I however do own my plot and characters.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
I lay on my bed, trying to block out the yelling coming from the downstairs kitchen.
Arriving home from shopping with the kids, I knew Fang and mine future selves had been going at it, but I figured they'd give it a rest knowing they weren't the only ones in the house anymore. Did they realize how much their voices carried?
"What do you mean 'you don't know!'"
"I don't know!"
God. Please let it end.
It's not like I was a normal teen, listening to my parents fighting. This was my future. This was me and Fang. Fang! My rock, my first mate, the one I could always could on. How did this happen?
I rolled onto my side, clutching my pillow closer to my body, curling around it. All I wanted was to shut it all out. To forget where I was, forget when I was, forget that soon Fang and I would hate each other.
"Come on, give me something Max! Anything! I'm trying to make things right here and you're not giving me anything to work with!"
I sighed. Slowly, I found myself rising. I walked toward my bedroom door as quietly as possible, opening it and making my way down the hall, holding my arms to my chest. It wasn't far. Just next door.
I hesitated- nervous now as I stood at his door. Would he turn me away? Was I being foolish? Why was I here? God Max! What are you doing! I knew in the morning I would regret making this. But tonight, hearing the future so clearly through the floorboards, I just wanted some hope that things could stay the same.
And so I opened the door.
"I'm not one of your stupid projects Fang! You can't just type in some computer codes and fix it!"
He was awake. Lying on his back, one arm curled behind his head, the other lay across his stomach. His eyes met mine as I inched my way into his room, closing the door behind me.
He had changed into red plaid pajama pants and a dark black t-shirt. This made me feel self conscious, in only blue pajama shorts and a light grey tank top.
"Max?" His eyes questioned mine, his tone confused- and cautious. Did he think I was here to yell at him? To fight, like our future selves were doing downstairs?
"I know! You're the love of my life and I'm working my ass off here to fix things!"
I didn't want to fight. I was done fighting.
"Max?" He asked again. "Are you okay?"
I didn't answer as I made my way toward him. Not letting our eyes break gaze, I silently slid onto the bed next to him. He turned onto his side so that we lay facing each other.
We lay together. I knew every line, every curve of his face, the way his dark hair fell on his forehead, covering his eyes slightly. I had to resist reaching out and pushing it out of his face. I needed to see his eyes.
"The love of your life! Are you kidding me Fang! You LEFT! You LEFT and you can't come storming back in, cook some dinner, and expect everything to be fine!"
"Fang?" I whispered, closing my eyes. His gaze was so intense. "I- I don't want us to turn out like them." I don't want to lose him. I don't think I could ever handle losing him. Does he know that?
Tingles went up my arm and warmth spread through me at Fang's touch. He grabbed my hand, pulling it so that our hands lay intertwined between us. I opened my eyes to look at him.
His eyes were closed now. He looked so peaceful. But I knew he was just listening.
"What do you want me to say Max! I made mistakes! I royally screwed up! I've regretted it every day! Is that what you want to hear? That it kills me knowing that I had the best thing in the world and I ruined it!"
His future self made mistakes. And here I am, blaming a 14 year old version for things he hadn't even done yet.
"I don't want to hear any of it! This is it fang! You had me, and your beautiful kids, and you say it's the best thing that ever happened to you, but it doesn't change the face that you left. You turned your back on me and this family."
And I could change all that. I could let him in. We could be together. Maybe this future would never happen.
"You left all of us! Without a second thought of what would happen to us, you LEFT!"
But what if it did. I couldn't put myself through that. Couldn't put any future kids I might have through that. He left once. He broke his promise. He could leave again.
I couldn't keep him. Either way, I would lose him. And so lying here, listening to the future I would give anything to avoid, I memorized his face again and again, not knowing how long I would have to keep him with me. To keep him mine.
I sensed her staring at me. This beautiful, strong, damaged girl lying in my bed.
I opened my eyes to meet hers and saw something I didn't expect. Her eyes were full of fear, and sadness. Regret. Guilt.
I smiled sadly at her.
"I am so sorry Fang."
Any resolve I had about keeping my distance was gone as I saw her face crumble. I couldn't remember the last time I had seen Max so vulnerable. I knew I had to make her forget. To keep my distance. But just tonight, just for now, couldn't we take a break from ourselves and these stupid lives, and just be together?
I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me.
"I'm so sorry Fang," she cried into my chest, her voice muffled. She grasped my t-shirt with the hand that wasn't still held tightly in my own.
"It's okay Max. I promise you, it's gonna be okay." I kissed her hair and held her tighter.
We clung to each to one another, last anchors in a world falling to pieces.
As silence fell throughout the house, it was clear the fight had ended. There was not a sound, except for the slowing breathing of the girl I held in my arms.
Together, we finally faded into the first decent sleep either of us had had in days, her head on my chest, my arms wrapped tight around her, wishing over and over, that I would never have to let her go.