Meant To Be…
Alice and Jasper's Story
Based on Stephanie Meyer's 'Twilight Series'.
"If it's meant to be, it can only be good"
-Natasha Bedingfield, 'Say it Again'
I could feel the heat of a southern night as I raced through the dense darkness, my pale form going much too fast for any human to see. My companions, if you can call them that, sped ahead of me. I could feel their commitment to each other emanating from them like heat; but as it was not meant for me it failed to comfort me much. I myself should be feeling regret, or relief, or something else entirely- but my emotions were, for once, a blank. I had become quite numb from all the years of meaningless carnage; even as I escaped, I felt little hope that this northern, relatively peaceful way of life would save me. All the human lives I had taken… all the human lives I would someday take… lay in front of me constantly, filling me with remorse for what I was, what I must be. Eternity for me was a dark and endless tunnel, meaning nothing, leading nowhere, going on and on.
When the vision hit I was trying to decide where to go next. I had been studying the map and weighing my options when suddenly the train station melted away, and I was in the future. The first thing that was clear to me was that I was not seeing my own destiny, but someone else's. That was unusual- Other people's futures rarely interested or involved me, alone in the world as I was, and so I rarely saw them. I tried to focus on the vision before it left me. It was hot, and from the look of the landscape I was in the south. I saw a pair of my own kind- vampires- race across the desert. It was night, and they were laughing, joyous. But I could tell this was not what, who, I had come to see. I searched the empty land, and then I saw him. Another one like me, he ran behind the couple, a strange expression on his (handsome, I could tell despite the distance, even for a vampire) face. He came closer, and then I could read his look, see the utter sadness, the complete hopelessness in his blood-red eyes. His pain took my breath away. I felt the need to comfort him, but of course that was silly- I wasn't really there to start with.
And the vision began to slip away…
My eyes refocused on the map in front of me, as reality slowly regained its grip on my mind. I couldn't stop wondering why this sad and handsome stranger was so important to my future. If only I knew how to find him…
"Can I help you, miss? Are you lost?"
"No, that won't be necessary." I answered the over-helpful conductor. I smiled at him and he stared at me, confused by my strange beauty. "I know exactly where I'm going." Usually that would have been true, but today my strange vision had given me no clear path to follow. "Sure, miss- have a safe trip." he said, and left me, as my thoughts drifted. I have always been one to get lost in thought, even when I'm not seeing the future. I sat in that station for hours, my thoughts wandering, yet returning again and again to that stranger's pain.
That night, I left Cincinnati, not by train, but by the closet thing there is to flying. I ran without thinking, enjoying the way it felt on my cool skin. As uneasy as it made me to be uncertain of the future, I also loved it- the rare feeling of unpredictability was such a strange rush. Of course, that probably just meant that nothing out of the ordinary would happen, that my existence would continue at a monotone, that I saw nothing yet of my life because there was nothing of importance to see. But it could also mean my future was anything but decided.
5 years later
It was again time to hunt. For my associates, Peter and Charlotte, hunting meant contentment- a relief from the painful thirst we all suffered. But that was not the case for me- it did help the thirst, but I always felt like something, some crucial element, was missing. I felt like this most times, it was true, but more poignantly when I had just fed. This time we had split up, planning to meet again outside town once we were through. I dreaded taking the lives of humans, but it was also what I craved. I eventually chose my target, a teenage girl who seemed alone, walking down the street with her headphones on. The music was so loud; I could hear every note and lyric clearly from where I stood, several feet away from her. Then, like a tidal wave, her emotions washed over me. She was oblivious- she was worrying about something… a problem at school, perhaps, or with a boy? I couldn't tell- but I knew that she was focused on her thoughts, not on the danger right in front of her, that was closer with every step she took. Then her scent reached me, and my throat burned and ached and begged for relief. I had to satisfy it. And yet I felt like screaming at her to run. I was so confused these days… I looked deep into her green eyes and murmured, "Come here." in the sweetest voice I could create when my throat was on fire. Her eyes widened and took in what humans called beauty- flawless features, wide eyes, all of it- and stepped closer to her death. I could feel her feelings with her, the admiration she felt for me, her wonder for being the one I had spoken to. And soon, her all-consuming fear when I attacked…
My thirst was satisfied, but I felt sickened and repulsed by what I had done. I always hated myself after… that. I dreaded seeing Peter and Charlotte, triumphant after the hunt. Their's was not a pure happiness- there was always a shade of evil to their celebrations, it seemed that way, to me at least. It did not help my dark state of mind, not in the slightest. Although I was doing better then when I was with Maria, where revenge was always in the air, like a sickness, I still was nowhere near happy. I realized that I couldn't face them anymore, couldn't live this life I despised. So instead of meeting them like we had agreed, I quietly stole out of the town, and wandered, with no reason to go on existing.
I sat in the dressing room at a large and slightly ostentatious department store. Every girl's dream, and even though I was supposed to be too mature for petty things like shopping, I still felt a flutter of excitement to be in such a glamorous place. I had just gone gambling last night, and of course I had won every time. It was fun, but I always wished I had someone with me, to celebrate with me, to keep me company. This life bored me sometimes…
Then I felt myself going into a vision, and was glad I had locked myself in the dressing room- My vacant stare would seem odd to anyone who saw me in this state.
For the first time in five years, this vision was not about me.
I saw the same man I had seen last time, same sad eyes, same handsome face. He was boarding a train headed to Mexico City.
Then the image changed, and he was facing an army of newborn vampires, steely determination in his gaze as they closed in on him. He stood there, not even letting out a sound as they ripped him apart. It horrified me to see him behaving like this- he could take them, I knew he could, if he wanted to… but that was just it- he didn't want to stop them. He wanted to die.
But I didn't want him to.
I awoke from my vision, horrified at what I had seen. I somehow couldn't bear the thought of this remarkable man, whose fate somehow seemed, in ways currently unknown to me, forever tangled up in mine, dying. I could see that he felt hopeless- so much so that he no longer wanted to exist. I wanted, again, to comfort him, to save him from his loneliness- but that was impossible; I had no idea where he was. I didn't know what to do, so I ran out of the store as fast as I could
I had decided how I would proceed. I knew, better than anyone, that a new-born could easily kill an older vampire if he wasn't fighting back. So I would go back and let the vampire armies rip me to shreds. I didn't care. I couldn't make myself care. So I decided to go to the train station, feeling number with every step I took…
I felt like screaming. I kept forcing my mind to focus, to see if he was still destined to perish in the Mexican heat, torn apart by those heartless monsters. I checked constantly, but every time I closed my eyes, my worst fears were again confirmed.
The train reached Mexico City in the dead of night. I was being watched, that I knew. Soon, if I continued to wander the city, a threat to those who controlled it, I would be challenged by an army of young vampires. I looked forward to it, hating myself as I did. I had had to kill another human on the way here; my thirst refused to be put in check. Then I saw them- each pair of eyes was bright red, but still the newborns were crazy with thirst. I had been one of them once. I still remembered what it felt like. It was hard to forget when their emotions were so clear to me. Each one was feeling exactly the same way- prepared to kill. And I was prepared to let them.
Then, I felt a strange foreign emotion roll over me. It was love, nothing but love. I looked to see where it was coming from. Then I noticed that there was a balcony above the alley where the fight was brewing. There I saw a human couple, holding hands, and looking only at each other. They had walked to the balcony to be alone, and were unaware of the coming violence. And then I made a sudden and life-changing realization.
I realized how precious love was, how much I wanted it, more than anything else. I had never truly loved anyone, and I realized that, if I killed myself now, I never would. That thought made me shudder, and I suddenly knew I couldn't go through with this plan.
I also saw that the newborns had seen the couple too, or more likely smelled them, and would kill them both if I didn't get in the way.
Then, I saw something new. The stranger was no longer just letting them attack him- he was fighting. He fought with much more skill than any of the newborns had, and I was impressed. I watched as he finished them off, one by one. Then he ran into the darkness.
The images changed again. I saw him in the rain, outside a restaurant (if you could call such a worn down place that) named 'Philadelphia's Star Diner'. He went in to hide from the storm.
Then, the vision disappeared.
I felt overcome with happiness and hope. Now, I knew where he was going to be. Now, I could see him in reality. Now, I could find out why we seemed to be so inexplicably connected.
I defeated the army, with some effort. As soon as I was able, I caught a train back to the north- the south was too bitter for me to manage a long stay.
I ran all the way to Philadelphia. I didn't know how long it would be until he got to the diner, but I couldn't risk missing him. Not after all this time. When I reached the diner, I sat down at the counter. "Hello! My name is Adele, and I'll be your server today! What can I get for you?" a smiling human waitress asked me. "Nothing…" I said.
It was obvious he was not coming today. It wasn't raining at all, and it didn't look like it was going to start anytime soon. But I would wait here for as long as it took, come here every day, no matter what, until he walked through that door.
A few months later
The hope and conviction that I had gained from the near-death experience in Mexico could not last forever. My life soon felt as dark as it ever had- I began to doubt that I had any purpose here. I wandered aimlessly through the north, pretending to be whatever I wanted, never staying anywhere for very long.
One late night, as I sat at the bar like I did every single day, waiting for him, I slipped into another vision. I saw a large house deep in a wood, where a large family of vampires lived. Their eyes were a strange golden tint, and they were smiling at me- for I could see myself in this vision- and welcoming me to their home. They had lived here together for several years, they informed the future-me. They explained that they managed to live here for so long because they fed on animal, instead of human, blood. This surprised me- I had never heard of such a thing. And then I noticed that I was not standing alone while I greeted this family. To my surprise, the mysterious man who had been frequenting my visions for some time now was by my side, holding my hand. Most importantly, he was smiling. He was not in pain. This life was what he needed to be happy. And I saw it would make me happy too
For the next several weeks, I learned more and more about this family, and I knew one thing for sure- I belonged with them. But I also belonged with this man from the south, and I was beginning to wonder why he hadn't shown up at the diner yet.
I was in Philadelphia when the storm broke. The sky had been grey and ominous for some time now, and now the clouds had burst. The wind tore at my clothes and my hair, and the cool rain soaked me through in just a few seconds. I looked around and saw an old, rundown diner. I ducked inside to wait out the rain.
I saw him first, before he saw me. His eyes were a dark contrast to his blond hair and pale vampire skin. His mouth was a tight line, and he was, as always, unhappy. I knew he was the one I had been waiting for.
There was a vampire in the diner. She had been sitting at the bar. When I walked in she turned, slid off the stool and approached me.
At first I was confused and frightened. I expected her to attack- that was the only reason I could see for her coming over here. My muscles tensed.
But when she came near me, everything changed.
I could feel her emotions as strong as she could herself, and they surprised me. I felt intense happiness. I felt hope. I basked in it like the sunlight. These feelings that had once seemed so impossible to me were now washing over me. I had never, in over a hundred years, felt anything like this.
I looked at her, and noticed that she was staring at me, intense concentration in her dark eyes. She was very slight, with choppy black hair and a fairy-like face. She was beautiful to me.
"You've kept me waiting a long time." I said.
"I'm sorry, ma'am." He replied in a gentle, sincere tone.
I was so happy and relived that he had finally come. I stared at him, comparing him to the stranger in my dream. He was no longer quite a stranger. I caught new glimpses of our future together every time I looked in his eyes. His pain seemed less than it had been, and there was a strange expression on his face, one I could not read.
I held out my hand for him to follow me.
He took it. I felt a little dizzy.
"Who…are…you? How did you know…" he asked as I led him out the door.
"Alice," I said. "I see the future."
I desperately wanted to cut to the chase, to inform him that we were fated to be together, but I couldn't. What if he changed his mind and left? The future was not solid- it was just a possibility. But I knew when I saw him that I wanted, needed, it to come true.
"I'm Jasper." I said quietly.
She smiled at me, and led me out into the rain. We walked quickly through the storm to her apartment. She told me she could see the future.
"I know what everyone is feeling and can influence their emotions"
"How am I feeling, then?"
She asked, smiling.
I replied, not ready to tell her what her emotions meant to me, that I never wanted to be parted from her joy, couldn't bear the thought of her feeling pain.
We reached her apartment.
I'm sure it was very pretty, but I couldn't look away from her perfect face long enough to glance around.
We sat in my apartment for hours, talking. Neither of us ever stopped staring at the other. He told me his story, and I told him mine.
"…and then you came into the diner today."
"I have to tell you something"
I said, nervous. I had left out the visions of us together in the future- visions of love.
"I have to tell you something."
She said. I could feel anxiety mixing in her emotions.
"I have had many visions of us… together…in the future."
She said. I felt a thrill with the way she said 'together'.
She explained, "You can decide to alter that path. You have that option…"
I felt the stir of pain in her feelings, and wondered what I meant to her. Could I hope that I was important to her as well?
"But I think we are…destined for each other, and I… want… that to be true."
She finished, shyly.
I prepared my answer in my head, trying to make her see how much I needed her.
"Alice." He said. I trembled.
"In the century I have lived this life, I have been surrounded by nothing but hate and violence and despair. This has affected me, and made me feel so hopeless.
"And then, today, I met you, and… everything changed.
"The way you feel, the happiness emanating from you- it has given me hope, given me life
"And I realize that you are what I have been searching for all these years.
"Because you make me feel hopeful again
"I love you, Alice. I never want to leave your side. I couldn't bear it."
I felt joy, and love, and… rightness filling me. I could have exploded from it.
Her happiness once again knocked me breathless. Her eyes were so deep and true. Her smile was so glorious. I stroked her face and her hair, and kissed her, and it felt right.
I realized that, in all these years of wandering, I had lost my destiny. I had seen no purpose in my actions, no guiding force in my steps. And now, I had found it again. Or, rather, her- my destiny was Alice- and Alice was my destiny.
He kissed me, then- my first kiss. I could tell that he was happy. I was glad I had banished the pain from his features, and hoped it was a permanent exile. I saw that we would kiss many more times in our existence- I was looking forward to it. Soon we would find the Cullen's and move in with them- soon we would have a family. But for now, the one I was meant to spend eternity with was with me- and that was all that mattered.